Anathema (8 page)

“The Lonestar Quilt is a reminder that we aren’t created to be loners.
The Amish prize family and community above all else.”

HANNAH SCHWARTZ,

IN
The Amish Faith Through Their Quilts

H
annah’s gaze wandered the living room of her home, a modern ranch that rambled over a postcard-sized Milwaukee yard. Quilts hung from every wall and also lay draped on quilt racks in every corner. She knew the history of every one, who had made it, the year, the purpose for its creation. They were her children, the only ones she ’d ever have. The thought depressed her.

Asia Wang, Hannah’s publicist and assistant, ticked off the items on her list. “You’ve got an interview with
McCall’s Quilting
magazine at nine. A camera crew from Channel 6 is coming in forty-five minutes. Tomorrow is even busier with packing to fly to New York to film
FOX & Friends
.” Near Hannah’s age of thirty-two, Asia looked slim and elegant in her gray pantsuit and coordinating shoes. But then, she was always put together.

Hannah nodded. The whirlwind success of her book had stunned and humbled her. And sometimes the demands on her time exhausted her. “But what about the book? And the quilt for the cover? You’ve got to slow down the publicity stuff, Asia, just for a few weeks until I can catch my breath.”

“This opportunity won’t come around again. We have to make hay while the sun shines. You’ll get it done.” Asia dismissed Hannah’s fears with an airy wave of her hand.

“Yes, I know. We have so much to be thankful for, but I’ve got work to do at the office too. I need to figure out how to work it all in without going insane.” She forced a smile in spite of her fatigue.

Asia consulted her notebook. “Interview first. The auction isn’t until eleven. We’ll go in long enough for that. I think the staff is throwing a farewell party for you as well.”

A pang pressed against Hannah’s ribs. The museum had been her family, and she ’d miss them all. She ’d never guessed that the success of her book,
Amish Quilts: a Factual History,
would catapult her to such fame. It had been on every major best-seller list for six months, and her publisher was clamoring for the new book’s publication to be moved up. It was like being hit by lightning.

“You’d better get changed.” Asia stepped to the window and glanced outside. “The mail is here. I’ll get it while you change.”

Hannah nodded and dumped Spooky, one of her four cats, off her foot. Black with a white marking at his neck, the cat loved to lay on her feet. She quickly changed into the clothes Asia had laid out, a black skirt and chunky gray sweater with tasteful pearls. Asia had tried to get her to spice up her wardrobe, but Hannah insisted on maintaining her image as an academic, and her publicist eventually quit hounding her. Hannah checked her hair and found the French twist still intact.

When she stepped back into the living room, she found Asia going through the mail. “Anything interesting?” she asked.

“Looks like a personal letter,” Asia said, holding out an envelope.

“It’s from my aunt.” She opened the envelope and discovered it held another envelope and a letter. She pulled them both out, and her gaze fell on the inside envelope—one bearing familiar bold handwriting. Reece ’s writing. The envelope burned her hands, and she dropped it onto the floor as the familiar bitterness burned like bile.

The dark letters shouted at Hannah. Her limbs froze.

“What’s wrong?” Asia asked. She stepped to Hannah’s side. “Who’s it from?”

“Don’t touch it!” Hannah had hoped never to see that handwriting again. Just looking at it brought Reece ’s harsh voice to her head. Her hands curled into fists. If she ever saw him again, she ’d kill him. If not for him, her baby girl would be with her now.

Asia’s dark eyes widened. “Is it that bad?”

“My—my husband.” Hannah’s limbs trembled with the strength of her rage. “I don’t want to see anything he has to say. I’d hoped he ’d never find me here.”

Asia gave her a speculative look. “You’re married? You’ve never told me.”

“We ’ve been separated for five years. I guess it’s possible he filed for divorce and charged me with desertion.” She should be so lucky.

“You’d better read it.” Asia scooped it up off the floor. “What do you have to be afraid of?”

Hannah didn’t reply. She stared, immobile, at the letter.

“Oh, Hannah, was he abusive?”

Hannah took a step back. “I can’t talk about it.”

“Let’s make some of your fabulous meadow tea before the reporter gets here. We ’ll read the letter together and it will be okay. You’ll see. He can’t hurt you now.”

“You don’t know Reece,” Hannah blurted. She took a deep breath and held out her hand. “I’ll read it now.” The paper crackled in her hand. When she removed the single sheet of paper, a picture fluttered to the ground, and Asia retrieved it. Hannah didn’t look at it. She just put it facedown on top of her desk. First things first. Reece was sure to plead for her to come back. It had taken him five years to find her, and she ’d begun to hope that her hidey-hole would stay secure. Or that he’d moved on. She ’d been strident about protecting her location from the media.

She unfolded the letter. He’d handwritten the note. Every day for five years he ’d left her instructions for the day on the kitchen table. She ’d grown to loathe the sight of his penmanship.

“Want me to read it?” Asia asked when Hannah let her hand containing the letter drop to her side.

Hannah held it out to her friend without a word.

Asia took it and began to read. “‘Hi, hon, it’s been so long and I’ve missed you so much. We need to talk. There are things to discuss. Isn’t our daughter cute? She looks just like my beautiful wife. Give us a chance to be a real family. Call me, Hannah. My cell phone number is 317-555-1212. I promise it will be different.’”

Hannah put her hand to her throat. What did he mean? Hysterical laughter bubbled in her throat, but she choked it back.

Asia looked up. “‘Our daughter’? What is this, Hannah?” She glanced down at the envelope. “There ’s another note in here.”

“From Reece?”

“No, it’s signed ‘Aunt Nora.’ Want me to read it too?”

“Sure.” Why would her aunt send a letter to her from Reece? Nora knew Hannah wanted no contact with him.

Asia cleared her throat. “‘Hannah, my dear, Reece has assumed I’m still in touch with you. He’s right of course. This letter showed up addressed to you. I opened it and was torn over whether I should send it, but in the end, I thought you should see this since it mentions your daughter. I hope it’s not too upsetting.’”

Hannah wrapped her arms around herself. The memories of her fall began to flood back, but she refused to think about it. He was just trying to twist the knife. And doing a good job. Her daughter was dead. Her gaze went to the picture. She picked it up and turned it over.

A little girl of about five stood looking into the camera. Her auburn curls sprang from her head. Her golden brown eyes smiled along with her mouth. She was in front of a familiar covered bridge. Squinting, Hannah could make out the words above it. It was the Narrows Bridge, just two miles from her old home. Hannah could have been looking at a picture of herself at that age. “It can’t be,” she whispered. She tried to find another explanation. Maybe it was Luca’s child. She ’d tried to call him at work several times, but she always lost her nerve before he got to the phone. She glanced at the photo again. No, that couldn’t be right. Aunt Nora wouldn’t have sent this if it were a picture of Luca’s child. Besides, the child wasn’t dressed Amish.

She pressed her fingers to her head. “Oh, I’m so confused.”

“Let me see.” Asia took the picture from Hannah’s fingers. “Hannah, she looks like you. You have a daughter?”

Hannah shook her head slowly and began to recount the story.

Every muscle screamed in agony. Her mind replayed falling down the steps. She thought he’d pushed her, but even if it had been accidental, the fall killed her baby, and it was his fault. The horror of that knowledge nearly made her vomit. She’d shared her bed, her dreams, with that man. He’d taken everything she had to give and then destroyed what she treasured most.

“Could I have some water?” she whispered from the hospital bed. She had to get him out of the room.

When he left to get the water, she threw back the covers and staggered from the bed. Ignoring the pain that gripped her, she managed to get to the closet. She had to hurry. He’d be back any minute. She had to escape him once and for all, or he would kill her too.

She managed to pull on her skirt and blouse, to thrust her feet into her shoes. Her purse was in the bottom of the locker. If she could get to the shelter, they would take care of her, she ’d been told. When he’d broken her arm last year, the nurse had insisted Hannah take the information about a shelter.

It took her way too long to get dressed with the agony slowing her movements. He ’d be back any second.

Nearly bending double with the pain, she peeked out the door. To her left, Reece had his back to her and was haranguing a nurse. To her right was another exit. She slipped out of the room and hurried to the door as fast as the pain would allow. Glancing behind her, she saw Reece starting back to the room. She slipped into another doorway and waited until he entered her room. A patient behind her asked a question, but she had no strength to answer. As soon as the coast was clear, she darted back to the hallway, through the exit, and rushed toward the elevator. It dinged and opened almost as soon as she punched the button, and she breathed a prayer of thanks.

She stepped inside and pressed the lobby button. As the doors closed, she heard Reece ’s angry shout. Her last glimpse of him caught the murderous expression in his eyes.

When Hannah finished her story, she found Asia wiping tears from her cheeks.

“I’m so sorry,” Asia whispered. “Have you seen him since?”

“No. I made it to the shelter. They helped me change my name to Hannah Miller, which I’ve used in my private life, hid me while I got a legal separation—I don’t believe in divorce. I finished my master’s degree and got this job three years ago with their help. I always thought he’d find me again.” She ’d spent the last five years watching children on the street, wondering what her daughter would have looked like if she’d lived. The pain had never gone away. She knew better than to let herself hope. Reece ’s manipulation had caused her pain too many times in the past.

“Do you think he pushed you on purpose—to kill the baby?” Asia asked.

“I—I’ve never been positive. I thought I felt a hard shove. It was enough to send me running away before he killed me.” She looked back down at the picture. “Surely she ’s not still alive?” Just saying the words made hope spring to life.

“I can’t tell where this is,” Asia said, looking at the picture again.

“Parke County, Indiana.” The place she missed above all others. But it wouldn’t be the same now, not with her family gone.

“So he’s trying to say the baby didn’t die from the fall? That when she was born, he took her to Parke County? How is that possible? He was with you in the hospital.”

Hannah hadn’t thought of that. “Maybe he had someone help him.” It was stupid to try to argue this into being. “Oh, I don’t know what he would do. I could never second-guess Reece.” Though she’d tried for five long years. “But she ’s not with my family.”

“How do you know?”

“She’s not dressed Amish.”

“What are you going to do?”

Before Asia asked, Hannah hadn’t been sure, but she lifted her head. “I’m going home to find out.”

“Hannah, you can’t. We ’ve got a full lineup of publicity events.” Asia crossed her arms over her chest.

“Reschedule them. This is important.”

“Your book sales are important. You owe this to your publishing house. This time may never come again, Hannah. Be smart about it.”

Hannah hesitated. Maybe Asia was right. They were riding the crest of a wave. “I’ll do today’s, and I’ll do
FOX & Friends
. But reschedule the rest.”

Asia must have recognized the inflexible tone of Hannah’s voice, because she nodded. “This journey might make the news if we let it out.”

“I don’t want anyone to know what’s going on.” The odds were against the child’s being her daughter, and Hannah would look foolish for thinking otherwise. Besides, her loss was too painful to talk about.

“Everyone would sympathize with your plight. And the publicity might help you find the little girl faster.”

“No. I couldn’t do that to her. I expect Reece is just messing with my head anyway.” She should put it out of her mind. Tear up the picture and get on with her life. She looked down at the picture in her hand again. What if this child really was her daughter?

“I don’t know the guy,” Asia said. “But could this be his way of flushing you out?”

“Maybe, but it doesn’t matter. I have to know.” The desire scorched her. If there was even the slightest possibility that this little girl could be hers, Hannah would follow any rabbit trail, walk on nails, climb mountains. She ’d even face the devil himself—Reece. The man she suspected might have killed her parents.

seven

“The Sunshine Diamond Quilt is simple but has a beautiful
message—look for the good everywhere.”

HANNAH SCHWARTZ,

IN
The Amish Faith Through Their Quilts

A
lightning rod rode the crest of the roof, and as the breeze shifted, a rooster weather vane swung around to face Matt Beitler. He approached the freshly painted red barn. The sliding door stood open, spilling out the scent of hay and horse.