And I Don't Want to Live This Life : A Mother's Story of Her Daughter's Murder (9780307807434) (30 page)

“What's going to be next?” I asked Frank.

“I really don't know,” he replied. “You imagine the worst … the
worst
 … and it happens. Sure enough, it
happens
.”

The paddy wagon pulled into the driveway. A policeman hopped out and opened the back doors to reveal Nancy handcuffed to a bench. She wore a rabbit fur jacket, satin skirt, and platform heels. As the policeman unlocked her cuffs, she blinked at the sunlight. She looked pale and frightened; she was shivering and she had a bruise on her forehead. Getting out, Nancy teetered a bit on her high heels until she got her balance.

The policeman laughed. “Look how looped she is, Sal,” he said to his partner, who joined in the laughter.

“Has she been checked by a doctor?” I asked the policeman.

“What for? She's fine,” he replied.

“I'm cold,” my daughter told me. “They made me lay on the floor in a cell.”

He took her inside and we followed. At that time the Youth Study Center was a genuine inner-city house of horror—dingy, overcrowded, understaffed. Kids were reportedly sleeping on bare mattresses in the corridor.

There was an informal hearing with a juvenile aid officer, who informed us that Nancy was being held for reckless driving and
driving after midnight on a junior license. Since we lived in a different county, he would not release her to us. She would have to stay at the center until a preliminary hearing, which wouldn't be held for several days.

“Isn't there any other course we can take?” our lawyer inquired.

“Just one,” the officer replied. “You can have her committed. Put her in a mental hospital or leave her here. It's up to you.”

It was quite a choice.

We chose to commit her.

Frank and Nancy, two weeks old
.

Nancy, fourteen months
.

Nancy
dressing up for Halloween
,
her favorite holiday
.

Nancy
,
age six, had a fit over this
picture. She thought she
looked ugly and insisted the
photo be reshot
.

Frank and David
.

Age 10½. School photo
.

Age 11½
.
“The Look.”
Nancy left school—7th grade—several days after this was taken. She never went back to public school
.

Nancy, age 14. Sent to the
family after her funeral by
a classmate of Nancy's at
Lakeside Campus. The
note said this is the way
he remembered Nancy
,
not the way the newspapers
described her
.

Susie, Deborah, Nancy
and David outside the
health food store. Nancy
is 15
.