And Nothing But the Truth (19 page)

“I don’t think so,” said Polly, glad she could answer honestly for once.

“She’s slipping away from us,” said Noni. Then her voice became bitter. “Una did the same thing, but I never expected it of Maud. If she’s chosen to spend so much time away from her family, then I suppose we don’t mean much to her anymore.”

Polly took her hand. “You mean
everything
to her. You’ll see, Noni. Maud will be here in August and she’ll be really happy to be back.”

“Perhaps you’re right. In her letters, Maud
does
say she misses us. Well, at least I still have you, hen. Are you
sure
there’s nothing troubling you?” she asked, for what seemed like the trillionth time.

“I’m sure.”

Noni kissed her. “I hope so. I count on you so much, my dear wee Polly. I couldn’t bear it if you changed, as well.”

All Aunt Jean could talk about was the baby. Her main concern was names. “I hope they’ll decide on ‘Jean’ or ‘Randolph,’ of course. But if they don’t want to use those as first names, they could choose ‘Mairead’ or ‘Roderick’ after our parents, Clara. ‘Mairead Jean Stafford’—doesn’t that sound grand? They could call her ‘Maisie’ for short. Oh, how I hope it’s a girl! They’re so much more fun to dress than boys.”

“It’s possible, Jean, that Gregor and Sadie will want to choose their own names, or use names from Sadie’s family,” said Noni dryly.

Aunt Jean ignored her. “I’m going to make a list of all the family names and send it to them.”

She had already begun to knit a tiny pink sweater.
“Here’s some extra wool, Polly. Why don’t you make some booties. Knitting will help you forget your worries.”

Polly had to sit in the living room every night and struggle over the booties. She tried to pretend they were for Danny.

The next visitor was Eleanor. Polly was glad to see her, but having her there made her life even trickier. Eleanor had to be sworn to secrecy about Polly not going back to St. Winifred’s.

“How I wish you would!” she said. “How did your grandmother react?”

“I haven’t said anything yet,” said Polly. “That’s why
you
can’t.” Now she was putting off telling Noni until Eleanor left.

“Don’t tell her! Oh, Poll, you’re so wrong not to go back!”

She made Polly feel so guilty that Polly forbade her to talk about it. Eleanor’s sorrow made a gulf between them.

Even worse was the antagonism between Eleanor and Biddy. The last time Eleanor had visited the island she had been nice to Biddy. This time, she was jealous that Biddy would have Polly all to herself.

“You’ll forget all about me,” she said one night.

“I won’t!” said Polly.

“Yes, you will,” said Eleanor, as if she were stating a scientific fact. “It’s completely understandable. You and Biddy have been friends for much longer than you and I, and soon you’ll be spending all your time together. But she’s so boring, Poll! All she talks about is movie stars and her freckles and this George person.”

“Eleanor’s really smart, isn’t she?” said Biddy to Polly when they were alone. “You must find me stupid compared with her.”

Of course Polly couldn’t say that she agreed. Everyone on the island that summer was reading a new novel called
Gone with the Wind
. Aunt Jean lent her copy to Polly after she and Noni had finished it. Polly and Eleanor decided to read it out loud together, alternating chapters. They were so engrossed in the story that they longed to spend all their time with it.

Biddy didn’t want to hear them read, however. “It’s too much like history,” she complained, “and way too long.” Polly and Eleanor began finding excuses not to be with Biddy so they could continue reading.

On some days Alice joined them for a swim or a bike ride. She and Eleanor chattered endlessly about school. “In the fall I’m going to recruit you two for the school play,” she told them. “It’s a musical, and I’m sure I’ll be picked for the lead. Eleanor can help with the props, and you can paint some nifty scenery for it, Goldilocks.”

Biddy looked smug. “Oh, but Polly—”

Polly poked her, and Biddy stifled a giggle. Luckily, Alice hadn’t noticed.

On Eleanor’s last night, she and Polly took Tarka for his bedtime walk. The nights were getting darker, and the moon glistened on the edges of the waves.

Polly wondered when she would see Eleanor again. “Could you come to the island for Thanksgiving?” she asked her.

“We always go to my grandparents’ then,” said Eleanor. “But I’d still like you to visit me after Christmas, Polly.”

Christmas seemed years away! Polly blinked back tears. “Will you and Daisy and Rhoda be in the same dorm this fall?” she asked.

“No, we’ll be in the east dorm. It’s much larger and brighter than the junior dorm, and it’s closer to the bathroom. It’ll be swell not to be the youngest boarders anymore, don’t you think?”

Polly shrugged. She didn’t have a right to an opinion, since she wasn’t going back. If she was, though, it would be nice to be in that big dorm near the bathroom. If she got there early enough, she could nab a bed close to the window …

But she
wasn’t
going back. Miss Guppy had made that impossible.

They stopped to listen to an owl. “It’s so peaceful here,” said Eleanor. “I can see why you love it so much. But Poll …”

“
Please
don’t say it, El,” said Polly miserably. They began walking again.

“You’ve changed,” Eleanor told her. “You’re so detached, somehow. Is it because you’re worrying about telling your grandmother?”

It’s because my sister is having a baby!
Polly wanted to scream. She’d already betrayed Maud by telling Daddy, however. She couldn’t do it again by telling Eleanor.

Uncle Rand had given Polly and Biddy a holiday from confirmation classes while Eleanor was there. The day after she left, the classes resumed.

“ ‘To renounce the devil and all his works, the pomps and vanity of this wicked world, and all the sinful lusts of the flesh,’” recited Polly.

“Well done. Now, girls, tell me some ways in which the world is wicked.”

“It’s when people are cruel to one another, or dishonest or unfair,” said Biddy. “Or when they fight, like in the war in Spain. And I just heard my dad and Captain Hay talking about another
big
war that Canada would have to be in,” she added.

“There won’t be one, though,” said Polly. “Right?”

Uncle Rand sighed. “There might be, I’m afraid. We
may have to go to war to stop Hitler.
There’s
an example of wickedness.”

He looked at their shocked faces. “Now, girls, I don’t want you to worry about it—perhaps it won’t happen. It’s too sunny to stay inside—let’s stop early today.”

“Do you think there
will
be a war?” Polly asked Biddy as they walked out of the rectory.

“I’m sure there won’t. Your uncle’s right—there’s no point in worrying when nobody knows,” said Biddy.

Polly smiled at her friend. Biddy might be dull, but she was still as comfortable and reassuring as always.

Now that all the visitors were gone, Polly had no excuses left. Two days after Eleanor’s departure, she marched into Noni’s room, plunked down her tray, and blurted out her decision before she had time to procrastinate.

“You’re not going back to school?” said Noni. “What on earth are you talking about, hen?”

Polly wearily repeated her words. “I hate it there,” she ended. She flopped into a chair and steeled herself for Noni’s anger.

But Noni was concerned, not angry. “So this is what you’ve been so gloomy about! I’m so sorry you feel like this, Polly. But you’d be giving everything up—especially your
art! How could you not continue with that? You’ve told me so many times how much you love Miss Falconer’s classes and how you want to be an artist when you grow up. And what about your friends? You and Eleanor are so close, and you seem to be fond of Daisy. Are you really saying you want to give up your art and your friends?”

“Yes,” muttered Polly. “I’ll miss them, but they’re the only part of school I like. I can keep on with art on my own, and apply to go to art school later.”

Noni’s voice grew colder. “And how do you plan to carry on with the rest of your schooling?”

“Can’t I share Biddy and Dorothy’s governess?”

“You can if you want to receive a very inadequate education. From what Biddy’s mother has told me, Miss Peate is a poor teacher.”

Noni sat up straighter in bed. “Now, listen to me, Polly. I’m sorry you and Miss Guppy don’t get along. I don’t care for her myself. But you’ll simply have to put up with her and with the rest of the school. I won’t let you give up such a good education. Think of how well Maud is doing at university. That’s because she received such an excellent foundation at St. Winifred’s. I want you to have the same before you go to art school. I wish
I’d
had the opportunities you two have had, but my parents didn’t believe in girls being educated.”

This is about what
I
want, not
you
!
Polly wanted to yell.

“Most important,” finished Noni briskly, “I won’t
allow you to give up your art. So there it is, Polly. You’re going back to school whether you want to or not.” Then she smiled. “You’ve had a difficult first year—that’s all. Next year will be better, I promise. Try to enjoy the rest of the summer, and try to enjoy what you
do
like at school.”

“No!” said Polly. “I’m not going back!”

Spots of colour appeared in Noni’s cheeks. “Polly, don’t be ridiculous. You are, and that’s that!”

Polly stood up. “You can’t make me!”

They stared at each other. Noni appeared to be calming herself. Then she said quietly, “No, I can’t make you. But if you don’t go back, you’ll be ruining your future. I think we’re both too riled up to speak about this further. Here’s what I suggest. I want you to think about your decision very seriously for the rest of the summer. By August I’m sure you will have come to your senses, and will decide to go back. Until then we won’t speak about it, all right? I’m not going to say anything to Jean and Rand, and I hope you won’t, either.”

“All right … but waiting won’t make any difference. I’m not changing my mind!”

“Then you’re a very foolish little girl,” said Noni, sounding exactly like Miss Guppy. “I’m disappointed in you, Polly. Go away now, and leave me alone.”

Polly flew to her room, slammed the door, and sobbed into her pillow. She had finally done it. She’d told Noni her
decision, but instead of feeling relieved, she felt even more miserable than before.

I’m disappointed in you
… although Noni didn’t repeat those words, Polly could feel them every time they were together. Now Noni was as wooden with Polly as Polly had been with her.

She’ll come round
, thought Polly. But what if she didn’t? How was she going to live all the time with her grandmother when there was such a gulf between them?

Polly went through the last week of July in a fog. She spent most of her time on the beach with Tarka, attempting to draw. But even that comfort was gone. She hated the marks her pencil made on the paper. They seemed such a waste when Miss Falconer would never see them. Most of the time Polly just stared at the sea.

As the end of the month grew closer, Polly forgot her own worries and concentrated on Maud. How was she feeling? How would she know when the baby was coming? Polly spent the last days of July inside, so that she wouldn’t miss Maud’s phone call.

After breakfast on July 30, she was moping on the window seat, trying to read. Tarka was snoring at her feet and Noni was visiting a neighbour. When the telephone rang, Polly ran so fast that she skidded in the hall.

“Hello?” she said, her heart pounding.

“Hi, Doodle!”

“Oh, Maud …” Polly steadied her voice. “Did Danny come?”

Maud was triumphant. “Oh, Polly! It’s not Danny. It’s
Una
! She arrived last night and she’s going to
stay
! I’ll be home in about ten days and tell you all about her, all right? Oh, Poll, I’m so
happy
! I love you so much. I’m going to hang up now.”

Polly was shaking so much she could hardly put down the receiver. If only Maud could have said more! But there was always the danger that someone would be listening.

She tried to take in Maud’s words.
Una
… the baby was a girl! Polly had a few seconds’ regret for Danny.

Then she began laughing and crying at the same time. She had a
niece
. She was named Una, after Polly and Maud’s mother. And if she was “going to stay,” that meant Maud was keeping her!

Tarka had followed her into the hall. Polly picked him up and whirled him around. “Oh, Tarka!” she cried, tears on her cheeks. “I’m an aunt—I’m an aunt!”

Then she stopped dancing and froze. Noni was standing in the doorway.

“
W
HAT
DID YOU SAY
?”

“Oh, Noni …”

Noni gripped Polly by the arm and pulled her into the living room. She sat down, breathing heavily.

Polly sat opposite, gazing at her grandmother in terror. “Are you all right?”

“I’ll be all right when I hear the truth! Just tell me, Polly. Tell me at once.”

Noni’s voice had never sounded so icy.

“Maud … Maud had a baby,” croaked Polly. “It’s a girl.”

“I knew it! I knew it all along. I just couldn’t let myself believe it. You should have told me, Polly.”

“Noni, I couldn’t! Maud made me promise not to tell
anyone
!”

“That doesn’t matter. You should have told me anyway. Who is the father?”

“Robert,” whispered Polly.

“And where is Maud right now? Is she with Robert? Are they married?”

“No. Robert didn’t want to have anything to do with the baby,” said Polly. “Maud’s living with Daddy and Esther in Kelowna.”

“So
they
knew. Has she been with them all this time when she said she was in Portland?”

Polly choked out the story. “After university ended, she went to a place in Vancouver that takes care of girls who are in trouble. But Daddy and I found out where it was and rescued her. Then she went back to Kelowna with him.”

“So she told your father, but she didn’t inform me,” said Noni bitterly.

“
I
told him,” said Polly. “Someone had to know.”

“You should have told me, as well.”

“I
couldn’t
! Maud was too afraid of how you would react.”

Noni’s face was growing redder and redder. Polly ran to the kitchen and came back with a glass of water.

Noni took it without a word. She gulped some water and sat in silence for a few moments. To Polly’s relief, her breathing calmed down and her face became less red.

“
Here
is my reaction, Polly, and you can tell it to Maud.
She is a disgrace to the family, just as her mother was.” Noni paused, then continued in a strained voice. “I’ve never told you this, Polly, but Una was pregnant with Maud when she got married.”

“I know that,” said Polly bluntly. “Daddy told us. And he told us that you and my mother had a terrible argument about it and that’s why you lost contact with her.”

Noni looked as if Polly had struck her. “You are correct,” she said stiffly. “We did argue, and perhaps I was too harsh, but I had good reason to be angry. Una and Daniel broke the rules … just as Maud and Robert have done. It’s
wrong
to have relations with a man before you are married. But at least your parents
did
get married. What about Maud? What does she plan to do with this baby?”

“I think she’s going to keep it,” muttered Polly.

Noni exploded. “She’s going to
keep
it? That is a terrible mistake. She’s ruined her life! She’ll never be able to go back to university and take care of a baby. And what would people say? It was bad enough at Una and Daniel’s wedding. Everyone on the island knew why they were getting married so quickly. No one ever said anything directly, but I had to live with the insinuations.”

Noni shuddered. “The child is
illegitimate
. It’s not fair to raise a child with such a stigma. It would live with that shame all its life.”

“Not ‘it’—
she
!” cried Polly.

Noni didn’t seem to hear. She steadied her breathing, then said firmly, “Maud must put the baby up for adoption.”

Polly hesitated. “Maud
was
going to give her away, but I don’t think she is now. But Noni, maybe Daddy and Esther will adopt her and pretend the baby is theirs!”

“That would
not
be a solution. Maud would still have the baby in her life … so it would be in ours, as well. She should give it away immediately.”

“She’s going to
stay
!” Maud had said on the phone. Polly knew in her heart that her sister’s joyful words were true. “Maud’s not going to give her up,” she told Noni.

Noni’s expression turned to flint. “Then I won’t have anything more to do with her.”

“What do you mean?” whispered Polly.

“I mean exactly what I said. Maud is no longer my granddaughter. Your father and that woman can take care of her and her illegitimate child, instead.”

“Please
, Noni,” begged Polly. “You can’t do that! You
love
Maud. She loves
you.”

“If she loved me, she wouldn’t have done this to me,” said Noni. “Tell her what I’ve just told you—that I never want to see her again.”

“No!” Polly stood up. “You can’t mean that! You just said you were too harsh with my mother. Now you’re being the same with Maud!”

A flicker of doubt came into Noni’s eyes, but she drew herself upright and said, “Perhaps I am, but Maud has left me no choice. She has done something very wrong, and she’s continuing that wrong by keeping her child. I cannot condone it.”

Polly was shaking so much she had to hold on to a chair for support. “You’re the one who is wrong, Noni!” She tried not to cry, but her words were slurred. “You lost Una and now you’re losing Maud. And you’re going to lose me, as well. If you don’t want Maud, I don’t want you! I’m going to go and live with Daddy.”

Noni pressed her hand to her heart. “No, Polly!” Her voice softened for the first time. “You’re too young to understand what a shameful thing Maud has done … but it has nothing to do with you and me. Surely you know I feel the same about you as I always have. We’ll just carry on as we did before.”

“Not unless you accept Maud and her baby,” shot back Polly.

“I’m sorry, hen … I can’t do that.”

“Then I’m going to live with Daddy!”

Noni’s face blazed with anger again. “Don’t be ridiculous, Polly. You are
not
going to live with your father, just as you are not going to leave school. I am your legal guardian, so you have no choice. I don’t want to hear any more of this nonsense. Now, listen carefully. You mustn’t breathe
a word about what has happened—do you understand? We can’t risk anyone knowing, not even Jean and Rand. Thank goodness they aren’t here.”

Polly wished they were. Maybe they would take Maud’s side. But they were visiting friends on Walker Island for a week. Mrs. Hooper might also sympathize, but she was away, as well.

It was just Polly and Noni, two people who had once loved each other but now seemed like strangers. “Please leave me now,” said Noni. “I need to be by myself and digest this dreadful news.”

Polly ran upstairs, sobbing all the way. As soon as she got into her room, however, her tears halted. There was no time to cry; she had to make a plan.

Two hours later, Polly crept down the stairs, carrying her rucksack. She had heard Noni go into her own room, then a few minutes ago she had heard her leave it. She found her grandmother in the kitchen, slicing bread and chicken. Tarka was at her feet, waiting for something to drop.

“Noni?” she asked carefully.

“Yes?” said Noni, not turning around.

“Tarka and I going to sleep in the cabin tonight,” said Polly. “Is that all right?”

Now Noni looked at her, but her expression was so cold that Polly almost shivered.

“Very well. When will you be back?”

“I’ll have breakfast there and come home for lunch,” said Polly.

“Take whatever food you need from the pantry, then. Would you like me to make you a sandwich?”

“I’ll make it,” said Polly.

“Very well,” repeated Noni. She finished making her own sandwich and carried it into the living room.

Polly let out her breath. So far, this was working even better than she had hoped. She made herself two huge chicken sandwiches. Then she ransacked the pantry, filling it with as much food as she could stuff into her rucksack. She left room for Tarka’s food, his dish, his leash, and a bottle of water.

Polly tested the rucksack. It was heavy, but she could manage it. Then she rummaged in the broom closet. At the very back she found Tarka’s wicker travelling crate. He had used it only once, when he’d had to go to the vet in Sidney to have a thorn removed from his paw. The crate was very old; it had once belonged to Noni’s Scottie. Polly inspected it anxiously, but it still seemed sturdy.

Now for the tricky part: getting the crate out to the cabin without Noni seeing her. Polly went into the living room. Noni was sitting in a chair, reading a book and eating her sandwich. Tarka sat hopefully at her feet.

Polly held out a bit of meat. Tarka looked from one to the other, then decided to go to Polly.

“Goodbye,” said Polly tightly.

“Goodbye, Polly. I’ll see you tomorrow,” said Noni, her eyes on her book.

Oh, goodbye, goodbye!
cried Polly’s heart.

But there was no time to listen to it. She hurried back to the kitchen, with Tarka trotting after her. After hoisting the rucksack on her back and picking up the crate, Polly escaped out the back door and headed for the cabin.

Polly pressed the pencil so hard she almost broke it. She placed the note on top of one of the stumps she used for
a table, and put a rock on top of it so it wouldn’t blow away. Then she checked her watch.

The steamer for Vancouver didn’t arrive for another hour, so she would have to stay in the cabin until she heard its whistle. Someone on the wharf would ask where she was going, so the later she went, the better.

She paced the cabin nervously and kept going through her luggage. She’d only packed underwear so she’d have room for food. Noni would have to send on her clothes later. Once again, she counted the money in her small purse.

Noni had been giving Polly a generous allowance for years, augmenting it every Christmas and birthday. Polly had saved the money she didn’t need in the flowered china pig she kept on her chest of drawers. When she emptied out the bills and coins onto her bed, she was pleasantly surprised. She had plenty of money for the train, with a lot left over.

The piggy bank had once belonged to Una. Polly couldn’t remember her mother. What would she think of her daughters now? One had just had a baby who was named after her, and the other was running away!

Polly knew that Una had been headstrong and spunky, much more like Maud than like her. Now Polly had to be as brave as they were. Running away was terrifying. Never in her life had she done something so daring. But she thought of what she had just written and took a deep breath. If Noni was going to reject Maud, Polly had no choice but to reject her.

Finally, she heard the steamer whistle. This was going to be the riskiest part. A crowd of people would be at the wharf, waiting for the mail. Someone might tell Noni they had just seen Polly board the boat. Noni would call the police and Polly would be brought back from Vancouver in disgrace.

I may as well try, anyway
, thought Polly.
What have I got to lose?
She picked up the rucksack and the basket, called Tarka, and made her way to the wharf.

“Why, Polly, what are you doing all by yourself? Are you going to Vancouver?”

It was Mrs. Wynne, whose husband ran the store. “I’m going to Kelowna to visit my father,” said Polly, forcing herself to sound confident.

“But where’s your grandmother? Why isn’t she here to see you off?”

“She’s not feeling well,” said Polly rapidly.

“Oh, isn’t that too bad! Perhaps I’ll stop by later with some of my soup.”

Oh, no!
“She’s—she’s not eating,” said Polly. “Her stomach is really upset and all she wants to do is sleep. It would be better not to disturb her.”

“The poor thing! I’ll drop in tomorrow, then, and see how she is.”

Polly’s heart thudded; the first hurdle was over.

When the steamer came into view, she pushed a protesting Tarka into his crate. He whined until she gave him a bone.

The crate was much heavier with Tarka in it, but Mr. Cridge carried it up the gangplank for her. To Polly’s relief, he and his wife were the only other passengers travelling to Vancouver. Polly didn’t know them very well. After her short explanation of where she was going, they picked up their newspapers and left her alone.

She gazed at the wooded island as it slipped out of view, at the dusty roads and rocky shores she had walked and played on for so many years. When would she see them again? Surely Noni would change her mind and forgive Maud. She would be angry at Polly for running away, but then she would forgive her, as well … wouldn’t she?

There was no room in her head for worrying. Polly let herself have one last glance at the white lighthouse, then turned her eyes towards Vancouver. The next few hours were going to require all the courage she could muster.

Polly slinked through the crowd at the harbour, half expecting a policeman to come up and grab her. But when she passed one, he ignored her. Mrs. Wynne hadn’t told Noni
yet, then. That meant Noni wouldn’t find out until Polly was well on her way.

Polly had put Tarka on his leash to lighten her load. He wasn’t used to being on one and pulled her this way and that. He was so thrilled to be out of the crate that he kept stopping and greeting people, as if they were there to welcome him to Vancouver.

“Hey, little lady, that’s a handsome pooch,” called out a slovenly man. “You’re not a bad looker yourself! How about a kiss?”

Polly hurried away from him. She finally found a taxi stand and timidly asked a driver to drive her to the train station. Then she sat in the back seat, quivering with fear. What if this man was as scary as the other one?

But all he said was “Aren’t you kind of young to be travelling by yourself, Miss?”