And Those Who Trespass Against Us (31 page)

Katherine smiled. Despite Catriona's ranting and raving, she believed they both quietly enjoyed such exchanges, of which there had been so few of late. She was thankful Adele wouldn't be there to witness the tirade, for she felt the game was better played out between only them.

Driving down the track, her thoughts lingered on Adele's all too soon departure. This left Catriona again alone in a house far too big for merely one occupant. At least with the harvest she would again have the company of the other farmers. They promised her the day of Alexander's funeral that they'd help her, and they had proven true to their word.

Despite her best attempts, Katherine couldn't help but feel her heart skip a beat when Catriona had told her of Adele's departure. She sensed closeness between them, which she resented. When Adele had been there, she couldn't help but feel that her position in Catriona's life had been subordinated.

She reflected on the subtle shift in her friendship with Susan and Me Lin. Since Susan's disclosure, things had been more relaxed in the Crosier household. When she first arrived, after the evening meal Me Lin would make polite conversation and then retire. Now she sat with Susan, their hands lightly clasped when they spoke of the day's events.

Susan was an attentive listener, occasionally pausing to fetch Me Lin a cup of her treasured green tea, or to place a cushion under her feet, sore from a day's standing in front of laundry tubs. During these times, Katherine felt like a privileged spectator to their loving interaction. There was a gentleness and familiarity between them not dissimilar to what she and Catriona had shared. It was a closeness Katherine was missing and, indeed, she was missing the woman who she shared it with.

Katherine drew the wagon to a halt in the rain. What had she just thought and what did it mean? Casting her eyes around a softened landscape she sought an answer and found one coming from a quiet place deep within. I want what Susan and Me Lin have. I know I do. And what's more, I want the same sort of intense, comforting, and loving connection with Catriona that I currently witness every night between Me Lin and Susan. I can run from the truth, but it will still follow me. Isn't it about time I stopped running and turned around?

Katherine's tears mixed with the water dripping down her face. Regardless of all the religious excuses in the world, this
was
what she wanted. "I just hope it isn't too late to tell her." Feeling like a great weight had been lifted, Katherine urged the horse forward.

As she rounded a bend, a horse and rider skidded to a stop in front of her, and she stared into the eyes of the young bushranger, Joshua, the boy she'd helped that night, which now felt like an eternity ago. Despite his sudden intrusion, she refused to allow it to dampen her spirits.

"What is it about you people? Do you keep constant tabs on me or something?" She stopped, seeing something other than cockiness in his eyes. "What's wrong?" She leant forward to catch his reply over the noise of the downpour.

"We raided a homestead yesterday and it went horribly wrong. We were trying to make our escape when a posse of men were on us, and we had to fight our way out of there."

Katherine felt an uneasy feeling settle in her stomach. She struggled to remain calm. "What about injuries? Did you all manage to get away unscathed?" She tightly gripped the reins, somehow sensing what the answer would be.

"Three of us were killed." Joshua fought to steady his horse as lightning, closely followed by the sound of thunder, rolled not far from them. "Mary wasn't so lucky either. She's been badly wounded and has been asking for you ever since."

Katherine flinched at the thunder. "Where is she?"

"This way." Joshua wheeled his horse.

Any thoughts of a warm homecoming with Catriona were temporarily put on hold while Katherine followed.

AFTER AN INTERMINABLE period of bashing through virgin scrub, Katherine and Joshua finally emerged through a break in the bush. In the clearing was a grey upright slab hut, even more diminutive than the Connor's. Looking around the hut's general surrounds, Katherine noted a conspicuous absence of horses and activity. She alighted and turned to Joshua. "Where's the rest of your, er, gang?"

"Spread to the four winds." He tethered his horse to the closest tree. "As soon as they saw Mary's injury they split our gold between them and took off."

"So, there
is
no honour among thieves." Joshua's face whipped around in defiance and Katherine held up her hand. "Present company accepted of course."

They ran toward the hut, with Joshua opening the door to allow her to enter. He immediately closed it behind her, to keep out the unrelenting wind. Katherine's eyes adjusted to the low interior light and she saw a bed along the opposite wall with the figure of a pale woman lying on it.

Katherine hurried across and knelt beside the cot. "Oh Mary, what have you done?"

Mary's face lit up and she managed a weak smile. "I told him you'd come. He didn't believe me," she said, her breathing laboured. "All I needed was for him to find you."

"And here I am." Katherine's eyes travelled down to the bloodstained sheet concealing Mary's legs.

"The hit was one in a million. The bullet ricocheted off the pommel of my saddle and lodged in my thigh. Fortunately the constable and his men didn't follow us, and I had time to stop and tourniquet it before we got here." Her attempts at nonchalance were betrayed by the look of pain imprinted on her face.

Katherine pulled back the bloodstained sheet to get a better look at the wound, sucking in air through her teeth as she did so. "God in heaven, you don't do anything by halves." She was hard pressed to make out the source of the bleeding. "If you're going to survive this wound, we've got to get you into the back of the wagon and into town
now
."

Her attempt to rise was halted by Mary's restraining hand. "Why would I want to go all the way into town, have it tended to by a doctor and healed so they could hang me? Even if that were an option, you know I wouldn't do it. Besides, the wound's too far gone. I know it, and so do you. I've lost far too much blood to recover. It's only a matter of time," she finished gently, her voice tinged with a finality Katherine hadn't previously heard. "Before I go to wherever it is I'm going, I had to speak to you and clear the air between us."

"Let me at least first look at the wound and clean it."

Mary settled back on the bed and, fatigue etching her face, nodded her head.

Attempting to get a better look at the injury, Katherine used a knife to quickly tear the trouser leg away. Finally being able to see the full extent of the damage, she knew Mary's words to be true. The wound was high up on the thigh and, despite the tourniquet, still oozed blood. The flesh immediately surrounding the wound was reddened, the telltale purulent smell of decay cloyingly evident.

"Your leg's infected already." Katherine rose, opened the door, and thrust two pots into Joshua's hands.

"I need you to fill these with rainwater and bring them back inside so I can heat them on the fire."

Katherine returned to Mary's side. She tore the discarded trouser leg into strips with which to dress the wound. She was vaguely aware of the door opening and Joshua putting a pot on the fire, and then they were once again left alone.

When the water was warm enough, Katherine cleaned the wound as best she could.

She looked around the room. "Where's your food?"

Mary motioned to the corner of the hut. "Over there, she managed through gritted teeth. "What's left of it."

Katherine rifled through the bags until she found two calico pouches containing tea and sugar. Portioning the tea between two cups, she poured the remainder of the water into both, and then liberally sprinkled sugar into Mary's. Dragging a chair across the room, Katherine sat beside her and handed Mary a cup of strong black tea.

"Thank you." Mary took a sip. Her eyes temporarily closed and a ghost of a smile graced her face. She handed the cup to Katherine and eased herself back onto the bed. "I've no right to demand your help, especially after the way I behaved when we last met. I should never have intruded on you like I did. On top of that, my questions in the kitchen were rude and inappropriate."

Katherine gently stroked Mary's arm. "No, they weren't. You were right. Something had occurred between Catriona and me. For so long I'd been denying that anything had happened. On that morning when you visited, your questions were too close to the mark."

"I thought as much by the way you reacted, as well as what I'd heard about her actions on your safe return after the first time you, er, visited me. In truth, I was jealous at what the two of you had. She obviously cares for you very deeply."

Katherine mutely nodded, her hands tightly clasped in her lap.

Mary gently covered her petite hands. "You and I both know I'm dying, so now's not the time to mince words. I'm going to be honest with you. Can I expect the same in return?"

Katherine looked first to the hand resting over her own clenched fist and then to Mary's pale features. Unclenching her hand, she turned it up to gently clasp Mary's own. "Yes."

"I've been around lovely women all my life, from casual liaisons to the look of hopeful expectation in rich grazier's wives who I've divested of money. By far, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever known. Your beauty is not skin-deep. It's also within. God knows any man, or
woman
for that matter, would risk life to win just one smile from you. No matter how well you hide your beauty behind your habit, it won't be hidden from anyone."

Katherine blushed at Mary's candid comments and a familiar fire ignited itself in her stomach.

"Every time I'm close to you I sense energy between us which is almost palpable. I felt it the night when we argued by the fire and again in the kitchen when I held you, and I sense it radiating from you now. Katherine, do you not feel the same force between us?"

Katherine's eyes alternated between Mary's face and her hands. "I do, and it confused me at first. Prior to coming to Australia, I'd never been exposed to such feelings. Then suddenly both you and Catriona evoked the same reaction." She took a shuddering breath. "That day in the kitchen when you held me----I thought you were going to kiss me. I was afraid, but I was also excited. Then, after you left, all I felt was ashamed," she finished, relieved to speak to someone about that morning, yet guilty at the same time. She turned her head away from Mary's probing eyes.

Mary eased herself up on her elbow and tenderly captured Katherine's face. "What you felt were your own emotions, Katherine. And they're powerful ones which won't be constrained by social or religious mores, no matter how hard you try. You didn't need to be afraid of me that day. I never would have hurt you."

Mary's hand wound its way to the back of Katherine's neck. "Let me show you," she said huskily and guided Katherine's face to her own.

She had barely touched Mary's lips when Katherine felt like a lightning bolt had passed through her. Leaning into the kiss, she trembled at the feel of Mary's tongue lightly teasing her upper lip as if in question. In answer, Katherine lips slightly parted to allow the gentle exploration of Mary's tongue.

Finally, Mary broke contact and eased herself back onto her pillows. Uncontrolled tears tracked down her face.

Confused, Katherine reached for Mary's hand. "Are you all right? Are you in pain?"

Mary bitterly laughed. "I am, but it's pain of the heart I suffer. Life is cruel, Katherine. I've waited to be able to do that to you since we first met, and now it's too late. I once told you I could have never changed my ways. I'd have gladly given up bushranging though, to spend my life with someone as beautiful as you. Now it's too late--but it's
not
for you. Things can be different. Promise me you won't wait. Admit to what you want and take it."

Katherine looked down at Mary's pleading eyes. "I will. Now please rest for a while and conserve your strength."

Mary's eyes closed, the shallow breathing of her chest barely visible. As the rain fell outside Katherine shed her own silent tears for a woman whose life was almost over when it had barely begun.

CATRIONA CAST A disgusted glance at her attempts to maintain a halfway decent set of books. Katherine's last neat entries were such a contrast to hers. Catriona's writing looked like a cat had dipped its paws in ink and walked across the page.

Seeking any excuse to break away from the tedium, she glanced at the clock and frowned. It was two-o'clock. Katherine should have arrived by now. Although concerned by her tardiness, what unsettled Catriona more was unrelenting rain on the homestead's corrugated roof. If Katherine stayed true to form, then she'd have forgotten her oilskin. Catriona shivered. Despite the earlier heat of the day, a rainstorm could quickly chill a person to the bone. She pushed herself out of her chair and strode toward the barn, on the way grabbing her hat and two oilskins.

As she rode toward the Connor property, her concern grew. The deluge was falling in steady sheets, making it almost impossible to see the muddied track in front of her. At one stage her horse temporarily lost its footing, and she only regained control through luck and skilled horsemanship. Catriona reached forward and reassuringly patted her horse's neck. Anyone in a wagon would have been hard pressed to recover from that. All she could hope was that Katherine had displayed the sense to wait out the storm with the Connor family.

A dripping Catriona knocked hard on the door to the hut, only to have it opened by Aiden, the Connor's youngest boy. He stepped aside and Catriona entered, surprising Mrs. Connor.

"Miss Pelham, 'tis foul weather to be out riding." She motioned to a chair. "What can I do for you?"

Catriona politely shook her head. "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm looking for Sister Flynn. She left me a note saying she was visiting you and that she'd return via Gleneagle at around twelve-thirty, for lunch. She hasn't turned up. I didn't pass her on the road and now it's getting on late afternoon. Have you seen her?" Apprehension seeped through Catriona's being.