Authors: My Hearts Desire
Alex was itching to know if the meeting had anything to do with the message to Brock or with Drake’s suspicions of war. But if there was anything Lord Sudsbury disliked more than Alex’s independence it was her curiosity about things that “did not concern a woman”—of which politics was definitely one—so Alex held her tongue.
“I have resolved things with Lo … Captain Barrett,” he announced.
Alex brightened. “I’m glad, Father. He is a trifle arrogant, but he really is a very good man.” One whom I shall find hard to forget, she added to herself.
“I’m glad you feel that way, daughter.”
“Oh, I do!” Alex praised. “He is a superb leader, somewhat stubborn and unyielding, but nonetheless respected by all those beneath him.”
“Really.”
“Yes.” She nodded, warming to her subject. “He lends his strength to those who need it, is extremely kind and loyal to those who have earned the same from him, and is generous to those who are worthy of his generosity.”
“He sounds like a most exemplary man.”
Tenderness constricted Alex’s throat. “He is.”
“Then how fortunate you are.”
“I?” She was puzzled. “Why am I fortunate?”
Geoffrey leaned back against his desk and smiled. “Because in precisely one fortnight you will become Captain Barrett’s wife.”
“His
what?”
Alex gasped.
“His wife.” Lord Sudsbury regarded his stunned daughter impassively. “Oh, come now, Alexandria. Surely you are not that shocked by the consequence of your adventure.”
“I certainly am.” Twin spots of color burned in her cheeks, as fury and disbelief threatened to envelope her. “Father, I cannot
… will
not … marry Drake Barrett!”
“Oh, I assure you, my dear, you can and you will.”
“But why?
Why?
I’ve done nothing to be ashamed of, nothing that could damage my reputation to such a degree that it would drive you to take such a drastic measure.” There was pain in her broken question, pain and hurt.
Geoffrey was unmoved. “This measure is hardly drastic, Alexandria. Drastic is an impetuous young woman stealing away aboard a ship without the permission of her parents or the presence of a proper chaperon and expecting there to be no ramifications of her actions.
That
is drastic.”
“And so I am to be punished by being married off to the first available man?”
“Not to just any man, Alexandria, to the man who has compromised you.”
“But we’ve done nothing!”
Geoffrey shrugged. “That may or may not be so. Unfortunately, in the eyes of the world it matters not whether you are innocent or guilty. The fact that you were with Captain Barrett on his ship for all these weeks is damning enough. To anyone of significance you are indeed a fallen woman.”
“And who is ‘anyone of significance,’ Father?” Alex’s anger was back. “Your precious
ton?
Those immoral, judgmental, tongue-wagging gossips who have nothing better to do with their time than to discuss the lives of others and determine their acceptability or lack thereof even as they themselves are being similarly dissected by other upstanding members of our class?”
“Enough of your impudence, daughter!” Lord Sudsbury would be pushed just so far. “Despite your low opinion of our peers, they are in a position to destroy you and, ultimately, me. So cease your tirade at once! On the twenty-seventh of June in this very house you will take the vows that bind you to Drake Barrett for good or for ill!”
Both father and daughter had voiced their anger loud enough for anyone on the first floor of the manor to hear. Fortunately the argument was not overheard by the servants, as most of them were occupied elsewhere in the spacious home. Unfortunately, it
was
overheard by the dark-haired man who stood in the hallway just outside Geoffrey’s study.
Drake had risen early after a fitful sleep and headed to the governor’s home to see Alexandria. He had hoped to soften the blow and ease what he knew would be her furious, shocked reaction to the news of their betrothal. When he arrived, the same unfriendly butler informed him that Lord Sudsbury and Lady Alexandria were “unavailable”, and that Drake would have to wait. Alone in the hallway, Drake heard Alex’s angry voice, and frankly curious, he remained to listen.
Alex’s mind was working frantically. She realized that there might be no way out, that she was trapped. Her father was unyielding in his decision, unaffected by her pleas or her anger. And all because the damned
beau monde
would blanch over her unseemly conduct. Well, what about their inevitable reaction when they learned that Lord Sudsbury’s only daughter was married to a lowly sea captain?
Alex grasped wildly at her last hope.
“If the opinion of the
ton
is of such importance, then surely it is necessary for me to make what they consider a suitable match, Father. After all, it wouldn’t do for the only daughter of the Earl of Sudsbury to marry just anybody, now, would it?” Her tone was challenging, her gaze triumphant.
For some reason Geoffrey seemed to find her statement amusing.
“That is quite true, daughter.”
Alex played her trump card. “Then how can you possibly allow me to marry a man who is so far beneath us? A man who can offer me no family name, no great wealth, nothing but poverty and a transient life at sea? Surely a slightly soiled reputation is far better than a lifetime with such a man, is it not, Father?”
For one moment Geoffrey’s eyes glittered with some emotion that Alex could not assess. Then he merely met her stare with his own. “The situation is of your own creation, daughter. And now you must pay the price of your indiscretion. I suggest you begin to make your wedding plans. I will have a dressmaker come to your room to fit you for a suitable gown. A fortnight from this day you will cease to be my responsibility and become your husband’s.” He paused. “I suggest that you attempt to curb your reckless impulsiveness once you are wed. Drake Barrett does not seem to be the sort of man who would tolerate such nonsense from his wife.”
Drake Barrett. The reality of the situation struck her all at once: she was going to be married to Drake Barrett. The man who had unraveled all of her senses, left them raw and unsettled; the man who aroused her, thrilled her, infuriated her, patronized her, and reached deep inside her soul—that same man was going to be her husband.
She suddenly felt giddy.
“How did Captain Barrett take this unexpected piece of news?” she asked carefully.
“Why not ask him yourself, princess?” The familiar, resonant voice came from the doorway behind her, and Alex spun around in surprise. Drake’s face was a mask of non-emotion, but Alex recognized the furious gleam in his eyes. Her heart sank. He was livid.
Geoffrey greeted Drake casually. “Well, good morning, Captain Barrett. Please join us. We were just discussing the plans for your wedding.”
“So I heard.” He moved to where Alex was standing, but did not meet her questioning eyes. His features were carved in granite, his lips tightly set, and the muscle that worked in his jaw bespoke his anger. “Let us make the arrangements and be done with it.” It was an order, coldly issued.
Alex wanted to sink through the floor and die. Not only was she being discarded by her father, she was being given to a man who resented the idea of marriage more than she did. Of course, there
was
one thing he definitely would
not
resent having—her body. Well, damn it, if he expected her to meekly submit to his demands without receiving any tenderness in return, he had a big surprise in store for him. Drake Barrett would whistle before she gave herself to him, marriage or not.
Drake noted Alex’s rigid stance and wondered if she was reacting to the idea of becoming his wife or to his cold treatment. He couldn’t forget the scathing words he had just overheard her speak of what marriage to him would mean, or could he overlook the pain that her comments had caused him. And lashing out was the only way he could master the inexplicable feelings she aroused in him, feelings that made him weak.
The pull between them was as strong as ever, regardless of the anger that now hung in the air. The decision had been made. He would marry her. He would claim her fiery spirit and her delectable body. And in return, despite her anticipated dismay, he would give her his name, his wealth, and someday his title.
But the one thing he would never give her was his heart. That, if it existed, belonged only to him.
The wharf was dark and deserted when Alex arrived. For a moment she stared longingly out over the crystal-clear waters of Lake Ontario, the waters that she had dreamed of sailing. Now, instead of the freedom she sought, she was moving from a life of shallow flirtations and empty experiences to a lifelong commitment with a man who cared nothing for her and resented both her affluence and her sex. Life had become very complicated, and she felt unable to cope with its complexities.
Sitting down on the lovely stretch of beach near the wharf, Alex tucked her gown beneath her, buried her face in her hands, and closed her eyes. She had barely heard the details of the wedding that were discussed between her father and Drake. She’d been numb inside, needing only solace for her thoughts. Now her numbness gave way to the pain of rejection. Drake might owe her nothing, but how could her own father, a man who was supposed to love her, cast her aside so cruelly?
Despair washed over her as she huddled alone on the sand. She knew that she shouldn’t be out by herself at night, but she, quite frankly, didn’t care. What more could her father do to her that he had not already done? She swallowed, fighting back the tears. She felt so alone.
“Are you all right, my lady?” The dear familiar voice caressed her senses like a warm blanket.
“Smitty!” Alex sat upright, greeting the older man whose face was nearly hidden in the shadows of night. At her eager smile he sat down beside her.
“I thought I saw you running about on the beach,” he admonished gently, tender concern underlying his words. “Don’t you know that it is not safe for you to be here alone?”
“I was hoping to be brutally murdered and left as food for the gulls.”
He chuckled. “Now, now. It isn’t as bad as all that, my lady.”
Alex responded with a dejected look and a deep sigh.
“You know, my lady, ofttimes what appears to be a tragedy turns out to be a blessing. Many of life’s most sacred offerings are not recognized as such.”
“You know.”
He nodded. “Yes, Captain Barrett told me.”
“And what sort of humor is Captain Barrett in?”
Smitty grinned. “He is as cantankerous as an injured bear.”
“He doesn’t want to marry me.”
Smitty shook his head. “Correction. He doesn’t want to
want
to marry you. Therein lies the problem.”
Alex looked skeptical. “Do you really believe he cares for me?”
“Without a doubt, my lady,” was the firm reply. “Just as you care for him.”
Alex did not argue the point. “It frightens me, Smitty. Marriage is a serious lifetime commitment, a commitment to one person.”
“Not everyone views it as such.” Smitty watched her reaction carefully and was rewarded with her almost violent shake of the head.
“To me marriage means lifelong respect, consideration, and caring.”
“And fidelity?”
Alex nodded. “And fidelity.”
Smitty stared out to sea. “There are those who would disagree, those who would agree, and those who would like to agree but are afraid to for fear of being hurt. The people who fall into this last category need our compassion and our understanding. They do not need to be taught to love, only to believe. For with belief comes trust. And once they trust, they will become capable of a love so profound that it will transform their lives and fill their souls with joy.”
“Why do I feel that we are no longer talking in generalizations?” Alex asked.
Smitty merely stood, drawing her to her feet beside him. “Trust in your instincts, my lady. They will not fail you.”
Alex remained silent for a moment, digesting his words. Then she said, “Will you come to the wedding?”
“I wouldn’t miss it.”
“Then at least I will feel as if my family is there,” she replied softly, looking up into his kind face. Perhaps Smitty was right. Perhaps Drake really did care. Perhaps …
“Smitty! Where the hell are you?” Drake’s drunken shout from
La Belle Illusion
shattered the silence around them. “We have a lot to do—load the timber, drink ourselves into oblivion. After all, it’s not every day a man gets married, you know.” A pause, during which Alex could picture him gulping down another drink. “Well, Smitty, what do you say?” the uneven raving continued. “Can you just picture my family’s reaction when I arrive home with
Lady
Alexandria Cassel as my wife?
That
should certainly cause an uproar, now shouldn’t it?”
Smitty winced, reaching a protective hand out to Alex. But she shrugged it away, stepping back, her chin held high.
“So much for your theory on Captain Barrett’s loving nature, Smitty,” she said in a shaky voice. “Well, you can give him a message from me. He may put a ring on my finger, but I will never,
never
go back to England with him as his wife. I’ll see him in hell first!” With that, she lifted her skirts and ran from the beach.
Smitty stared after her, his expression sad. “He is already in hell, my lady,” he murmured to himself. “Now it is up to you to lead him out.”
D
AWN ARRIVED. RAIN EXPLODED
from the heavens in hard, battering pelts, that drenched the streets of York with merciless intensity. Then, suddenly, just after ten o’clock, the storm ceased, making way for a soft June breeze, trilling birds, and a warm afterglow of sunshine. Sparkling rain droplets shimmered on the trees, and a spectacularly vivid, multihued rainbow arched gracefully in the deepening blue sky.
It was Alex’s wedding day.
Her moods were as changeable as the weather. One moment she was filled with impotent anger, trapped like a bird in a cage. The next moment she was overcome with tingly anticipation, wondering what it would be like to be Drake’s wife. Most of all, she was terrified, for despite her bravado with Smitty, Alex was well aware of a husband’s rights. What if Drake forced her to return to England as his wife and to perform
all
her duties as Mrs. Drake Barrett?