Angel (A Companion Book to Monster) (Impossible #1.5) (14 page)

I flinched away from her enticing touch.

“Don’t,” I ordered softly.

But when had she ever obeyed one of my orders that hadn’t been delivered as a sensual threat?

She reached out for me again in brazen defiance.  “It’s okay,” she whispered soothingly.

I caught her wrist in my hand, stopping her short.  The perfection of the feel of her in my grip made me teeter towards the abyss.

“Don’t touch me, Claudia,” I said more authoritatively, anger coloring my tone this time.

“Why?”  She asked, daring to question me.

“Why?” 
Ferocity roughened my voice as I mimicked her foolish question.  I fixed her in my stare, anger and anguish and fear of what I might do to her roiling within me.  “Because if you touch me, I won’t be able to stop myself.”

My fingers tightened around her wrist in warning of my uncontrollable desire to possess her.

But to my amazement – and horror – lust stirred in her eyes in response.  She drew in a shaky breath.  “What if I don’t want you to stop yourself?”  She whispered.

The anger that had been simmering beneath the surface of my grief and guilt came bubbling up.  “Don’t say that,” I ground out.  “I refuse to force you to take part in my…
sick perversions
.”

I repeated my father’s words, and more dark memories surfaced.

“
Force me?
” Claudia’s angry hiss saved me from falling prey to the demons of my past again.  “Do I seem like a woman who allows people to force her into things?”

She was glaring at me defiantly, and this time I didn’t find her challenging stance at all cute.  It was breathtaking.  She was so much stronger than I gave her credit for.  I had been so entranced by her physical frailty and her emotional vulnerability that I had neglected to acknowledge her inner strength.  Claudia was a survivor, and she hadn’t let anyone walk all over her or push her around in a very long time.  The forbidding light in her eyes told me that she wasn’t about to break that pattern when it came to me.

I remembered the earlier uneasiness between us, but now she was telling me that she was ready to try again.  No, she was
demanding
that we try again.

“Fuck,” I muttered, giving in.  I wasn’t sure who was in control anymore.  She might revel in my dominance of her body, but it seemed that she was calling all of the shots when it came to our interactions.  And I was so infatuated with her that I didn’t mind that one bit.  So long as her submission brought us mutual pleasure, did the impetus really matter?

My hands tore at her clothes, divulging her of her dress so quickly that she gasped in shock when the cool air suddenly hit her naked flesh.  She wasn’t wearing a bra, and I had a moment to relish the sight of her hardened nipples before I crushed my lips to hers.  There was none of the slow teasing that I had employed before.  My own needs had been denied for too long for me to indulge in toying with her.  I took her mouth with such ferocity that it shocked even me.  As it was, I swallowed her surprised gasp, sucking her lower lip into my mouth before biting it hard.  She moaned in response to the little zip of pain, already coming to associate it with intense pleasure.

I held her close as I guided her down onto the bed, my mouth never releasing hers as I settled my weight over her, trapping her slight body beneath me.  She was touching me in earnest for the first time, her hands roving over me eagerly, and she shivered in delight as she traced the contours of my muscles.

My tongue thrust into her welcoming mouth when her hands dipped under my t-shirt to further discover my body.  There was no shyness in her touch.  She was greedy in her exploration, and I found this new assertiveness just as enticing as the sight of her innocent hesitancy.  Her fingernails boldly raked across my abs, and I pulled my shirt off to allow her better access.

She stared at my naked torso, every bit as transfixed by the sight of me as I was by her.  I leaned back into her to claim her lips once again, but she pressed her palm against my stomach, stopping me short.

“Your stitches…”  She breathed in warning.

I was touched by her concern, but I wasn’t about to let the bossy doctor order me to bed rest.  We had done far too much resting in my bed, in my opinion.  And my opinion was the one that mattered when I had her trapped beneath me like this, her body exposed and ready for my use.

“Fuck the stitches,” I growled.  “I want you, Claudia.”

She shuddered at the intensity of my words, and she dropped her eyes in deference.  Her hands were fumbling with the button at the front of my jeans, and I watched her struggle with amusement.  Her haste to finally touch me was intensely gratifying, and I enjoyed the way her tongue darted out to wet her lips when she finally managed to unzip my pants.  I had expected her to pull them down my body, but she was more impatient than I realized.

She reached into my boxers and grasped my hard cock in her small, soft hand.  She stroked me once as she pulled my erection free.  Masculine satisfaction flared in me as she stared.  But when she began to explore it tentatively, her forefinger lightly tracing along the length of it before circling the head, I reclaimed my dominance.  I had waited to bury myself in her heat for too long.

“I won’t allow you to tease me,” I told her, my voice rough with lust.  “I control this fuck.”

My hands closed around her thighs, shoving them apart so that she was spread for me, open and vulnerable.  I pulled those tantalizing white panties down her legs, revealing her perfect pink pussy.  My fingers discovered the slick wetness that coated her soft folds.

Satisfied that she was ready for me, I grabbed her wrists, my fingers closing around them like manacles as I pressed her arms into the mattress on either side of her head.  A low, feral sound slipped past my teeth as I pinned her there, trapping her.  She wouldn’t deny me this time.

I stared down at her before I took her, imposing my will on her, silently communicating that there was no escape for her.  A small whimper escaped her as she melted beneath me, her body turning soft and pliable.

Knowing that she was fully open for me, I buried myself in her pussy in one swift thrust.  She cried out and writhed beneath me, her body struggling to accommodate my size.  I held her fast, but I gritted my teeth and forced myself to wait, to give her the time she needed to accept my cock.  I wanted her to enjoy this just as thoroughly as I was going to, and that couldn’t happen if I was causing her pain.

But she responded to my consideration by greedily rocking against me, her body craving more.  Well, I wasn’t going to tolerate her attempts to seek stimulation as she desired it.  I had been benevolent, had given her release.  But she had denied me again and again, and now she sought to dictate how I was going to fuck her?

A savage ferocity gripped me, and I glared down at her.   “What did I just tell you?”  I growled.  “Who controls this fuck, Claudia?”

Her hips stilled, and her body began to tremble beneath me.  Her eyes softened, the desperation in them replaced by submission as she accepted my control.  She would receive her pleasure as I willed it.

“You do,” she whispered.

My triumphant grin was a touch twisted as I rocked my hips back, pulling out of her slowly.  When only the head of my cock remained inside her, I drove back into her with almost jarring force, stretching her ruthlessly.

“Your pussy is mine now, Claudia,” I told her.  I pulled out and delivered another harsh, almost punishing, thrust.  “Isn’t it?”  I demanded, slamming into her a third
time.  She whimpered, but that wasn’t enough.  “Tell me,” I ordered, my voice a low growl.

“Yes,” she almost sobbed the word as intense pleasure claimed her.  “I’m yours, Sean.”

It was more than what I had asked for, more than I would have ever hoped for.  No longer holding back, I asserted my claim, fucking her hard and fast.  Her core rippled around me, and I struggled to stave off my own orgasm as the sensation nearly pushed me over the edge.  She moaned and wrapped her legs around my waist, allowing me deeper access.

“Sean!”  The sound of her ecstasy laced through my name was intoxicating, giving me the most intense high that I had ever known.  Her sex contracted around me, and I almost came undone again.

But even as my ruthless denial of my completion pained me, I wasn’t ready to let go of the perfect pleasure of being seated deep inside her heat for the first time.  I fucked her mercilessly through her orgasm, and I didn’t slow my pace as the last little aftershocks ran through her.  She was going to come one more time.  She was going to come with me.

“Another,” I ground out, barely clinging on to my control over my own body.

She responded to my order instantly, and when her inner walls rippled around me this time, I fully gave myself over to my basest instincts.  Stars burst behind my eyes as she clenched around me, her tightness heightening my pleasure.

I roared out my satisfaction as I released my hot cum into her, marking her as mine.  The furious pumping of my hips slowed as her final shudders wrung the last of my ecstasy from me.

Even when we were both utterly sated, I remained inside of her, unwilling to break this most intimate connection.

“I’m yours, Sean.”

Mine.

I had been thrilled at the prospect of keeping her, but her willing declaration of my ownership was far more satisfying than I could have imagined.

Her eyes were still clouded over with bliss as she stared up at me, and the openness of her expression, her trust in me, made my heart swell.  I touched my lips to hers, kissing her tenderly as I held her to me, our bodies joined in every way possible.

Chapter 11

I don’t know how long I held her like that, but it wasn’t long enough.  She started to shift uncomfortably under me after a while, though, and I felt obliged to break our contact and give her some room to breathe.  I rolled off of her, but I propped myself up on one elbow so that I could watch her.

I could study her openly whenever I wanted to now.  She had promised me that she was mine, so I didn’t have to worry about upsetting her if she caught me shooting too many furtive glances her way.  There was no longer any deceit or reservations keeping us apart.  I still fully intended to discuss all of her options for setting the parameters of our relationship, but I knew now that sex was definitely on the table. 
Hot, kinky, fantasy-surpassing sex.  Spanking her had been thrilling, and seeing the submission in her eyes as I had fucked her had been more satisfying than I could have ever imagined.  Under normal circumstances, that kind of kink-lite wouldn’t have really done it for me.  It wouldn’t have been enough.  But sex with Claudia wasn’t just a well-practiced game.  Her surrender affected me far more deeply than any other woman’s submission ever had before.

And the reason that she was unique was both simple and profound: I trusted her.

Our sexual chemistry had been apparent in our first few days together.  It had started as a desire to conquer the beautiful, infuriatingly obstinate creature who lain on my bed beside me every day.  As her guard had slipped, I had begun to see glimpses of her true nature, and I craved to possess the vulnerable side of her, to ensure that her kind compassion would always be available to me.

But it wasn’t until I had trusted her with my own vulnerability that she had truly accepted me, had finally acknowledged that she needed me.  I still wasn’t sure if her need for me was as acute as mine was for her, but I could cope with the imbalance because her sexual submission fulfilled that part of me that craved control.

While I was watching her, her eyes were studying the bandaging around my chest.

“You’re hurt,” she informed me softly.

Now that she mentioned it, I became aware of the throbbing ache in my shoulder.  It had become such a constant part of my reality that I had learned to ignore it.  Blocking it out wasn’t difficult when I had her sweet body to distract me.

I grinned at her.  “It was worth it.”

She blushed, her cheeks colored by that breathtaking shade of pink that I loved.  I didn’t think that I would ever tire of seeing it.

Despite the way she ducked her head to avoid my gaze, her voice was controlled and clinical when she spoke.  “Let me patch you up.”  It wasn’t a question.

I laughed, genuinely surprised and delighted at the evidence that her acceptance of her submissive side hadn’t diminished the fire in her.

“Already bossing me around again,” I chuckled.  “You bounce back quickly.”

She pressed her lips together as she got to her feet, evidently electing not to rise to my bait.

I frowned when she pulled her clothes back on before retrieving her first aid kit.  Although I didn’t see the need for either of us to be modest when we were alone in my bedroom, I tucked myself back into my jeans so that I wouldn’t be the only one exposed.

Maybe being naked while she treated my wound would have been too heavy of a blow to her authoritative doctor persona.  I wished that she would realize that she didn’t have to pull up that mask when she was around me, but that would come with time.

I allowed her to work in silence as she replaced the stitches that had broken open, but I became troubled by the persistent furrow in her brow that I was beginning to suspect was from something more than concentration on her task.  Once she had finished patching me up, my fears were confirmed when she sat down heavily on the edge of the bed, staring blankly at the wall.

Reaching for her, I gripped her chin firmly between my thumb and forefinger, turning her face so that she was forced to look at me.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?”  I
asked, my tone soft rather than demanding.  I wanted to let her know that she had the choice to confide in me.  She no longer had to fear that I was going to force her or manipulate her in any way.

“I…”  She trailed off.  The storm clouds that churned in her eyes betrayed confusion and despair, and maybe even regret. 

“Are you really going to keep me here forever?”  She asked finally, her tone beseeching.

My stomach twisted, and it took all of my willpower to cover my anguish with a small smile.  “Right now, forever with you doesn’t seem like such a bad fate.”  I delivered it like an offhand remark, but I prayed that she would see the depths of my sincerity.  She had to know
now that we could find a way to be happy despite the shitty circumstances that had brought us together.  I didn’t expect her to joyfully embrace the permanence of her captivity overnight, but the realization that escaping me was her first thought after the passion that we had just shared made sharp tendrils of agony unfurl in my chest.

Tears glistened at the corners of her eyes in response to my fervent declaration.

“Please,” she begged raggedly.  “I can’t stay trapped here for the rest of my life.  I can’t bear it.”

I withdrew my hand from her face, no longer able to endure the tender contact.  The touch that had filled me with comfort evidently filled her with distress.  My expression closed to a blank mask as I buried my vulnerability deep within myself. 
Where it belonged.

“I’m sorry, Claudia.”

What else could I possibly say?

“If you leave me the Irish Mob will hunt you down and murder you”?  “Your only choice is to accept life imprisonment or face a very painful death”?

I didn’t dare say that.  There was a very real possibility that she would reply that death was preferable to staying with me.  And I couldn’t bear to hear those words fall from her perfect lips.

She jumped to her feet, putting space between us.

“I’m going to take a shower,” she said softly.

“I need to get away from you.” 
Is what she meant.  I wasn’t an idiot.

I didn’t respond, and I didn’t watch her go.  I just stared up at the ceiling and honed all of my focus on the pain in my shoulder, studying the way it throbbed in time with the beating of my heart, the way that little needles of it dug into me more deeply when I shifted.

But despite my efforts to avoid thinking of Claudia, one question kept running across my mind over and over.

How can I make her happy?

“I’m done playing nurse,” Bradley’s cold voice called my attention away from my unconventional meditation.  “If you’re well enough to fuck her, you’re well enough to get your own goddamn food.”

In his fury, his body seemed to take up the full space of the doorway to my bedroom.  I just nodded at him in agreement, not wanting to deal with him at that moment.  There was plenty of shit that the two of us needed to sort out, foremost of which was the fact that he was the one who had trapped Claudia with us in the first place.  If he just hadn’t been so goddamn rash, then he and I could have continued on in our friendly existence.

But now wasn’t the time to hash that out.

“Why can’t you see that she’s manipulating you?”  He continued, frustration mingling with the anger in his voice.  “You’re going soft.  She’s only fucking you so that you’ll keep her safe.”

Rage gripped me as I recognized the possibility that there was a grain of truth in that accusation.  Even if she wasn’t actively trying to manipulate me, I had suspected that she might be cleaving to me because I had kept her safe from Bradley.

“Shut up, Bradley!”  I roared, fury riding me mercilessly.  “Just get out.  I can take care of myself.  I don’t need you anymore.”

We both fell into shocked silence as the weight of what I had said sunk in.  The hurt in his eyes made me want to apologize, to take it back.  But it was true: I didn’t need this cruel, violently ambitious man in my life.

When he turned on his heel and stalked from my room, all I felt at his absence was relief.

“This is all your fault, whore,” I heard him accuse Claudia.  She must have left the bathroom.  How long had she been waiting outside my room, listening?

I heard the low murmur of Bradley’s voice as he said something else to her, no doubt something venomous.  I thought about running to her defense, but she had demonstrated to me that she was more than capable of holding her own in an argument.

Less than a minute later, I heard the front door slamming behind Bradley as he stormed out of our apartment.

“It’s not true,” Claudia said
to me quietly as she entered my room.  “I’m not using you.”

I kept my eyes trained on the ceiling so that she couldn’t see the doubt in them.  “I know,” I said, my voice sounding hollow in my own ears.

“I’ve been thinking,” I continued, struggling to make tone sound less defeated.  “I know that you want to leave.  But you know that I can’t let you go.”  I finally forced myself to look at her so that I could gauge her reaction to my words.  “It must be miserable for you to be cooped up in here.  It hasn’t been so easy for me either.”  I hesitated, studying her.  I might be about make a huge mistake.  “I want to take you outside.  Then at least you won’t feel so… trapped.  I don’t want you to be unhappy, Claudia.”

My proposition was risky, but it was all I could think of.  If she did agree, then I would just have to keep her close while we were outside of the apartment.  She had no hope of outrunning me, so her only means of escape would be screaming and causing a scene until someone came to arrest me.  It was only fair that I put my own freedom at risk to make her more comfortable in surrendering hers. 

“Okay,” she breathed, her expression slightly incredulous.  “Thank you.”

My smile was gentle, coaxing out an answering curve of her lips.

I just had to hope that at least some of the regard she had shown for me had been genuine.  That would be the only thing that would keep me from going to prison tomorrow.

I studied Claudia carefully, wondering if at any moment she would break her silence and start screaming for someone to save her from the madman who had been holding her captive.  Ever since we had arrived at Central Park, she had been difficult to read.  I savored the way she closed her eyes in bliss and raised her face to the sun, but her joyous expression was
marred by the delicate lines of anxiety in her brow.  At times she looked almost nervous.

She wasn’t the only one who had been going stir crazy being trapped in my apartment, but being outdoors would be bittersweet for her in a way that I could barely imagine.  I had the option of coming and going as I pleased; I could get outside any time I wanted to.  But for the last ten days, she had been living with the knowledge that she would never leave my shitty little apartment ever again.

Keeping her locked up might have been kinder.  Now I was showing her just what she was missing, reminding her of the freedoms that were now denied her.  If she was going to enjoy the world outside of my apartment, it would always have to be under my supervision.  And while I had no problem with the idea of keeping her close at all times, I knew that being faced with this new painful facet of her reality must be difficult for her.

The last thing I wanted to do was cause her more pain, but I would try anything that might make her happier in her life with me.

The worry that I had made a major mistake in bringing her here melted when she reached for my hand, lacing her fingers though mine.  I was momentarily dumbfounded, stunned by her willing touch and her sweet smile.

“Come on,” she said warmly, tugging at my hand to lead me where she wanted to go.  “Let’s go on the carousel.”

“Seriously?”  I asked, surprised.  Claudia didn’t strike me as the type to enjoy something so childish.  “Aren’t you a little old for that?” 

Even though I felt like I knew her on an
intimate, essential level, I still had a lot to learn about her.  Maybe this was the kind of thing she did for fun.  Or maybe it was the kind of thing that she never allowed herself to indulge in.  The thought that this might be another sign that I was helping her drop the weight of her emotional walls pleased me immensely.

“Come on, old man,” she said, her eyes sparkling, taunting me.  “What are you, scared?”

I chuckled, amused by her efforts to tease me.  “I know you’re trying to manipulate me, woman,” I informed her, letting her know that she wasn’t going to get anything past me.  “But I’ll bite.”

“Thanks.”  The unadulterated
joy in her wide smile made my stomach do a little flip.  Bringing her here hadn’t been a mistake.  For once, I had managed to do something right.

Her excitement was almost child-like as I paid the admission fee, and I vowed to do everything in my power to make sure that she knew joy like this every day.  Looking at her now, I could see the woman she was meant to be, who she might have been if life hadn’t kicked her in the gut so many times.

“You’re really excited, aren’t you?”  I asked her, smiling.  Her answering grin was wide, and there was a hopeful light in her eyes.  Was she also coming to see how much better her life could be now than it had been before if she just allowed it to be?