Angel in the Shadows (19 page)

Well it had to start making sense to him. He had a job to finish and with Madison out of his hair, maybe he could concentrate a little better. He wouldn’t have to listen to her incessant chatter or deal with her smart-ass attitude. He wouldn’t have to watch her cry those silent but painful
tears and he wouldn’t have to bear the weight of her deadly accusations. He was free from his responsibility for her. Sure, he reasoned, he had hurt her intentionally to do it but he had done it in order to protect her.

The entire world was fucked up. He had to hurt the ones he loved to save them, to protect them. Stopping suddenly, his hand tightened on the key in the ignition.
Love?
Had that been his
actual
thought? What a laugh. He didn’t love her. That was impossible. Completely, utterly impossible. But . . . Well, for a few crazy moments, when he had looked into her eyes, he felt he might not be lost, that he might actually be redeemable, someone was worth saving. That she might be his one and only chance at salvation. And he would be lying if he denied that some deep, hidden part of him desperately wanted to believe that with a violent ferocity.

But it just wasn’t true. There was nothing that could save him. Not even her. He was long past that, it was too late for him. There was no turning back from what he was now and there was no other life for him than the one he was living. Yes, it was a very good thing he had gotten rid of Madison before she completely ruined him. She was pushing him next to madness.

He started the engine and took off in a burst of speed, squealing tires, and hitting the highway before Madison’s plane took off.

“It’s about fucking time you called,” Vance growled into the phone. He’d gone nearly insane waiting for Jason to get back to him from the airport. “Did you get her?”

There was a heavy pause on the other end of the phone. “No, sir, I didn’t.”

“Why the hell not? Don’t tell me she got the better of you again.”

“No, not necessarily,” Jason replied, caution in his voice.

“What the hell does that mean? Either she did or she didn’t.” His face was heating up in anger but he didn’t care. He still didn’t have what he wanted.

“She didn’t get away from me. I couldn’t get close to her before she boarded the plane.”

“Why the fuck not? That’s what I pay you for!” Vance gripped the phone tightly so he wouldn’t smash it against the wall.

“Sir,” Jason said, hesitant, “she boarded the plane but she wasn’t alone.”

“Go on,” Vance replied through clenched teeth. He was not liking the way this was going.

“You’re not going to like it,” Jason hedged on the other end of the phone.

“Damn it, I don’t care. Tell me what the fuck is going on!” Vance shouted gruffly into the phone.

“She was with a man. He bought the ticket and made her get on the plane. She was upset, crying, and making quite a scene. I couldn’t hear what she was saying but it looked like she wanted to stay with him.”

“Who the fuck was it?” Vance yelled, his temper simmering just under a boil. He stood up, loosening his tie and flinging it into the corner of the room.

Jason paused then almost fearfully said, “It was Mr. Reynolds, sir.”

Vance sat back, stunned. “Seth?” Not
his
Seth. It must be a mistake. Had to be. “Are you sure?” Jason had fucked up royally by letting Madison get away from him on the ferry and paid for it dearly. If he was mistaken this time, a scarred-up face would be the least of his worries.

“No, sir, I’m positive it was them. I would recognize that little bitch anywhere. Seth wasn’t wearing his glasses but it was definitely him.”

He couldn’t believe it. Seth was supposed to be helping him, bringing Madison back to him. And instead, the bastard was helping her escape. He probably fucked her in the process. Betrayal bubbled up inside him only to be overtaken by the anger. A fury so strong and volatile surged through him until he felt he might explode with the pressure of it. That son of a bitch! He was going to kill him. Rip him limb from limb, tear his heart out with his bare hands, and show it to him. Oh, he was going to make him pay.

“Boss?” Jason questioned uncertainly. “You still there?”

In his fury, Vance had forgotten about Jason. “Yeah, yeah, I’m still here. Okay, listen, here’s what I want you to do. I want you to go to Chicago and get that little bitch and bring her back to me. Don’t hurt her but do what you have to as long as she’s alive.”

“What about Seth?”

“Oh don’t worry about that. I’ll take care of him. Just bring her back to me. And don’t fuck it up this time.” Vance slammed the phone down hard, cracking the receiver.

He cradled his head in his hands, trying to make sense of this new information. So, his personal assistant was going behind his back, trying to keep Madison out of his reach? What would someone like Seth want with a woman anyway? Maybe he wasn’t as asexual as he appeared. There was something really wrong here and he was determined to find out exactly what it was. But one thing seemed certain. That little bitch mattered to Seth. She was important enough for him to try and protect her.
Very, very interesting.
Well, nobody fucked with him and got away with it. Seth was going to pay for this. Pay dearly.

Vance lifted his head from his hands, a wicked smile on his face.
And he knew just how to do it.

Chapter 22

By the time the plane landed in Chicago, Madison was sure there would be permanent claw marks in the arm rests where her nails had clung on so desperately for the first hour and a half of the flight. She had never been able to completely relax and now the place was descending towards the earth at a mind-numbing speed, the white clouds rising to meet them. If the armrests could talk, they surely would have been screaming in pain.

Chicago O’Hare International Airport was just as busy as the one in New York. There were so many people in such a crowded area that Madison had no idea where to start looking for her sister. The noise was incredible inside the terminal so she couldn’t have heard Rachel calling for her if she was even there to begin with. Seth had told her he’d made all of the necessary arrangements but who knew if he was telling the truth. Or if he even knew how.

She didn’t have to wait long to realize that no matter what other lies Seth may have told her, he’d been honest about this. There was no mistaking her sister. Standing in the corner, tall and eight months pregnant with hair the color of sun-ripened wheat, she waited with her back against the wall, her eyes searching the crowd.

Hugging her Rachel tightly, Madison had never been so glad to see her. A familiar face. That was the best thing she could use right now. The only thing she wanted. She was safe. Thank God.

“I’m so glad to see you. I didn’t know what was going on. This guy just called and said that you were in trouble and he was sticking you on a plane—
a plane
!—and that I was supposed to meet you. Are you ok? What happened? Tell me everything,” Rachel rambled on fast enough to make Madison’s head spin.

“Whoa, whoa. One thing at a time. I am glad to see you too but can we just get out of here?” Madison begged, the toll from the last few days beginning to weigh on her shoulders. She felt like she was about to collapse right here on the terminal floor.

“Oh yeah, yeah. Let’s go. You can tell me all about it on the way.” Rachel grabbed her arm and pulled her through the crowd of people, her full, pregnant belly looming in front of her like an overfilled balloon, just ready to pop at any moment.

Once in the car, Rachel’s rapid-fire questions didn’t stop and trying to ignore them was impossible. Giving only the barest of details, Madison tried to answer them without actually giving anything away. If she was still in any kind of danger, she didn’t want to bring her family into it too. Finally, she was able to turn the tide of the conversation to more mundane matters and Rachel filled her in with stuff about the twins, her husband Alex, and of course the impending delivery of her daughter. At the end of the winding gravel drive, Rachel’s townhouse sat welcoming and inviting. Green ivy clung to the front of the house, its leaves a perfect complement to the dark-red brick. It looked so warm. So safe. And that was just what she needed. Somewhere to escape until she could get her mind fully wrapped around her situation. Thankfully, she was able to go right up to her room without having to make chitchat with Alex and the twins. There would be time for that later.

It was easy to see how Rachel had become an interior designer. Framed pictures of colorful flowers and green meadows hung on the sunny yellow walls. Squarely in the middle of the room sat a soft mattress held in place by a white wicker frame. It was a beautiful room but while she admired its appeal, she just couldn’t relate with it. Everything in her life had been turned inside out and upside down. Everything she had known was gone and now she was left with a million questions and no answers. And most of all, a gaping hole that she wasn’t sure anything or anyone could possibly fill. All she could do was hope that she would be able to make some sense of things. In time.

Slamming his hands on the steering wheel hard enough to make his palms sting, Seth cursed himself. How fucking stupid could he be? All of his careful planning had been for nothing. Despite trying to tell himself otherwise, he knew the facts when they presented themselves. He had fallen in love with a woman he could never have and one that could never love him back. Not really anyway. Madison Sinclair may think she had feelings for him but they weren’t true feelings. She was merely caught up in something that left her physically and emotionally stressed. Someone like her could never really feel anything for a man like him. And once she was well away from him and safe, she would come to her senses and realize that she couldn’t possibly love him.

Madison was better off without him. He knew that and she would too. In time. But why in the hell couldn’t he get her off his mind? Why couldn’t he just forget about her and go fuck some random girl that would never want anything else from him? One that wouldn’t look up at him with those big, brown eyes, asking the questions he didn’t want to answer, pleading for something that he didn’t want to give, something that he couldn’t give? Damn her. Damn her to hell.

But
, a secret part of his mind whispered,
what if
he went back and got her?
Images flashed through his head. Her gold hair, her warm, brown eyes, her lush mouth. He saw himself taking her into his arms, holding her close and making love to her every night. Exploring her body carefully over and over, making her cry with need and want. Hearing her scream out his name as she came. Giving himself fully and completely to her. He could wake up to her each morning, feeling her soft, lithe body snuggled up next to his. The sexy smiles, the wordless promises, the hushed touches. And everything in between. The smiles, the laughter, and the love they could share. Maybe a child or two later on down the road.

Whoa! Hold on just a fucking minute,
the darker side of his mind shrieked in protest.
A kid! You were honestly thinking about bringing a kid into this world? Are you insane? Consider what you’re thinking.

His wishful rambling sputtered then died as quickly as it began. It was true. They could never be together. No matter how much he wished it. Darker images came into his brain, stomping the wistful, happy images in the ground with steel-toed boots.

Madison, still beautiful and sexy as hell, was with him. Running from place to place, worry constantly etched in her face, fear forever filling her brown eyes. Death waiting for him at every turn only to find her instead; dead, a misguided target or maybe an intentional one to draw him out. Her blond hair was mixed with blood and her chest was riddled with gunshots. He’d seen the pain and fear in her eyes before they closed forever, leaving him alone and defeated.

Oh God, if they were to be together, it would surely be a disaster. A train wreck waiting to happen. Going hot and heavy, full speed until inevitably something would happen, crashing them headfirst into a brick wall, destroying them both in a fiery ball of flame. The thought of his existence and what it would be like to disappear strangely appealed to him. But not her. No, she deserved better than that and he would be damned if he was going to be the reason for her total annihilation. No, it was better this way. Better that they go their separate ways, never to see or hear from each other again.

But if that were the truth, then why did he feel as though a monstrous void had just opened up in his chest? That was a question he couldn’t answer so he chose to shove it away as he had done so many times in the past. But with a lot more difficulty.

Flipping open his phone, he dialed the number he knew so well. “It’s done. She’s out of the picture.”

He listened intently on the other end and gritted his teeth. “It doesn’t matter how. All that matters is that she is gone and never coming back. Time to forget her and finish this damn thing,” he replied before slamming the phone shut and stomping the gas pedal to the floor, desperate to get as far away from Madison as he could, hoping to leave her and the memory of her in the dust.

Chapter 23

The days and nights flew by and before Madison knew it, almost an entire week was gone. With the holidays swiftly approaching, the hours were filled with activity from morning until evening. Tommy and Michael, the twins, were thrilled to spend several hours entertaining their aunt Madison. And even though they were only five years old, they could talk a blue streak like no other.

Alex was grateful to have someone to watch over his wife, worried that she might decide to have the baby while he was in court trying to put another criminal behind bars. Rachel stubbornly protested that she had been through this baby business once before and she knew what to do. Her husband would only grin, giving Madison a knowing wink before he went out the door. But Rachel seemed to be the one watching over
her
. Madison appreciated where it was coming from but at the same time, she resented being baby-sat. But she welcomed the distractions with open arms. The less time she had alone, the less time she had to think. And to hurt.

She had more than enough time at night for that. She went to bed and tried desperately to think of anything, anything but the nightmare she had gone through. But it was no use. Her mind remembered what it chose to whether she wanted it to or not. Stacy and Robert lost their lives time and time again, Andre continued to repeat his attack in the alleyway, and of course, Seth both hurt her and loved her over and over. Sleeping was impossible. If she did somehow happen to doze off, it wasn’t for long and it wasn’t restful. Sometimes she woke up in a cold sweat with a scream trapped in her throat. Other times, she was amazed to find her cheeks wet with tears. Once awake, she was unable to fall back to sleep and instead lay for hours staring at the ceiling waiting for the sun to rise.

Christmas was only three days away but she had never felt less like celebrating in her whole life. She tried to be happy and upbeat but as the days dragged by, it was getting harder and harder to fake her enthusiasm for the upcoming holiday. Rachel continued to hover just around the corner, never really leaving her alone, afraid what might happen if she did.

“Aunt Madison, can’t you come with us?” Tommy begged, his brown eyes pleading from under his blue stocking cap.

“Please, it will be so much fun. We’re gonna sit on Santa’s lap and have hot chocolate and a cookie,” Michael chirped as he slipped on his heavy down jacket.

“And Momma and Daddy said that if we’re really good, we might get a present tonight. And it’s not even Christmas yet!” Tommy squealed with excitement.

Before she could make up another lame excuse, Rachel swooped in to save her. “Boys, boys, leave your aunt alone,” she chastised gently. “Maybe she’ll feel like going next time. Now get out in the car. Your daddy’s waiting on you.” She waited until they went out the door before turning back to Madison.

Uh oh, here it comes,
Madison thought and braced herself for another one of her sister’s loving, overprotective chats.

“Sis, I know you’re going through a lot, although I don’t know how much because you won’t tell me. But it’s not healthy to stay home by yourself this close to Christmas. I’m glad that you help out with the boys and watch over me for Alex but I know you’re not happy. I hate seeing you this way. Tell me what to do to make you feel better,” Rachel begged helplessly.

With a smile she didn’t feel, Madison shrugged and dropped her gaze to the floor so Rachel couldn’t read the lie in her eyes. “There’s nothing you can do. I am fine really.”

“Fine? Fine?” Rachel exclaimed, unbelieving. “Somebody who is fine doesn’t have dark circles under her eyes and wakes up either screaming or crying at night.”

Madison looked up at her sister in shock then quickly returned her gaze to the floor, not sure what to say.

“You didn’t think I knew did you?” Rachel asked. “Alex and I hear you every night but we don’t say anything because we figured you would tell us when you felt like it. But it’s been almost a week. You’re barely eating or sleeping. I see you struggling every day and night. You can say your fine until your blue in the face but you’re not. Maybe you just need more time, I don’t know.” Rachel dropped her hands to her sides. “You can have all of the time you want, of course. I just wish you would come with us. I don’t like leaving you here by yourself.”

Recovering from her sister’s confession, Madison forced herself to raise her head and she rolled her eyes. “I am going to be fine. I’m going to soak in the tub and try to relax. I really think that a night by myself is just what I need. I love you Rach but you don’t need to baby-sit me. You have enough to deal with. Just trust me when I say that I am going to be ok.”

Rachel stared at her dubiously for a moment, a worry line creasing her forehead.

“Really, go, have fun with your family. And when you get back, I promise I will be a changed person,” Madison said, crossing her heart.

“Okay, okay,” Rachel sighed, “have it your way. But just so you know, when we get back, the boys are going to make you watch
Frosty the Snowman
with them. And nobody can be unhappy watching that!” Wrapping her coat around her huge belly, she kissed Madison on the cheek before she went outside.

The sudden silence was almost deafening and Madison felt her heart lurch painfully. Maybe she should have gone with her sister, then she wouldn’t be facing this emptiness right now.

“Stop being such a baby,” she said, her voice echoing in the empty house. “Sooner or later, you’re going to have to get used to being alone. Might as well start now.” With that resolution firm in her mind, she locked the front door and trudged up the stairs to start her bath water. She locked the door and trudged up the stairs and started the bath water.

The bathroom was as foggy as a sauna when she finally sank up to her neck in the garden tub, letting the hot water envelope her. She lay with her eyes closed underneath a cool washcloth, letting her mind drift lazily. It wasn’t long before the tears started to flow, sliding from underneath her eyelids and dripping into the bath water. The mourning had come at last. The mourning for everything. Robert, Seth, her old life, even her fat and lazy housecat. She hoped that Mrs. Hawkins was taking good care of him, feeding him and petting him. Milo always loved a good scratch behind his ears. Madison sat that way for a long time, crying uncontrollably. The water started to turn cool before she was able to stop. Climbing out, she had to admit that she felt a little better.

For a few moments, the road ahead of her didn’t seem so long, so rough. It was going to be lonely but what the hell, life wasn’t perfect or fair. She was not going to continue being the victim to anyone’s sick, twisted games. She was going to move on with her life, one step at a time. As if in agreement, her stomach began to grow, surprising her. She took it as a good sign. Slipping into a pair of thin cotton pajamas, she padded downstairs to raid the refrigerator. Opening the door, she spied a plate of leftover turkey and reached for it. The lights went out.

Surrounded by darkness, she stopped mid reach, and listened, straining her ears. There was not a single sound and as the seconds ticked by, she began to feel ridiculous as she continued to stand bent over, her arm halfway in the door. Shutting the refrigerator door, she turned blindly to the kitchen cabinet to her left and felt around until she found the family junk drawer. Her fingers skittered over pencils, tape, and something sticky before she found the flashlight. Relieved, she pressed the button with a click. Nothing happened.

“Are you serious?” she growled, her voice very loud in the darkness. She tapped the bulbous end of the flashlight against the palm of her hand and nearly blinded herself with the beam of light.

Blinking against the sudden flash, she aimed the beam into the drawer. Glue. She had stuck her fingers in an opened bottle of Elmer’s Glue. Shaking her head, she shut the drawer and turned around.

She saw his face for only a second before she was knocked to the ground. The long jagged cut across his fine features had just begun to heal. The flashlight flew out of her hand and hit the floor, spinning out of control. He was on her in seconds flat. Screaming wildly, she was unable to move as he pinned her to the floor with his full weight.

“Shut the fuck up!” he yelled before his open palm struck her across the cheek, silencing her.

Stunned, her eyes stinging against the pain, she tried to see her attacker but the flashlight came to a stop in the opposite direction, creating a small circle of light on the far wall.

“Hello, Madison, remember me?” he asked with a voice of velvet, his breath sweet on her face.

Her heart jackhammered in her chest. She
knew
that voice. Without warning, he yanked her to her feet, his fist tangled in her hair.

“Thought you could get away from me, didn’t you?” he whispered, his mouth grazing her ear.

A crazy kind of anger filled her and replaced the fear that had been building. “I got away once, you bastard. And hey, I bet that scar’s a real hit with the ladies,” she hissed. Tipping her head back a little, she spit in his face.

“
You bitch
,” he growled, striking her harder this time, his fist colliding with her mouth.

The last thing she remembered was her lips splitting and the coppery taste of blood.

Seth unpacked the bags, trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with him. He should be happy. Despite the odds, Ryan had uncovered the more intricate details of Vance’s scheme. If it hadn’t been for Jonathan’s suspicious ways and even more suspicious death, they might never have found what they needed to completely stop New York from falling prey to one man’s sick and twisted plan. One half of the mission was neutralized. The other half would be finished by tonight.

The final preparations were in place and he and Vance had just arrived at the cabin. Buried deep in the mountains of Sangre de Cristo, the cabin was secluded enough that it wouldn’t draw any unnecessary attention until it was too late. And then there would be a media firestorm. But by that time, everyone involved in Vance’s demise would have neatly disappeared. Just as planned. But something was wrong. He didn’t know what it was. And that bothered him. A lot.

Carefully, he retraced his steps, lingering over each and every detail from beginning to end. He could see nothing out of place. The only unforeseen obstacle had been Madison but she was effectively out of the picture now. Vance, of course, had been upset to learn that this slip of a woman had escaped him again but he was certain he would have her soon.

Good luck with that asshole
, Seth thought, shoving Vance’s clean shirts into the empty drawers.
In less than eight hours, you’ll be dead.

There was a relief in that. It wasn’t only because Vance was one sick son of a bitch or that thousands of people would be saved. It was because
one
would be safe. Madison. God, that woman was like a thorn in his side. He tried, unsuccessfully, to remove her from his mind but every time he thought she was gone, he’d turn around and there she was, taunting him. She’d fill his head with her long blond hair and deep brown eyes, those luscious lips and that sinful body. It was enough to drive him crazy
.

It was just a fuck, it was just a fuck, it was just a fuck.
He repeated this litany over and over, trying to disengage Madison’s strange new grip on him but she refused to let go. He knew, in time, that he would be able to forget her and move on. But the last memory he had of her was one that would continue to haunt him for a long, long time.

He hadn’t liked the way she’d looked at him at the airport. The hate shone in her eyes so clearly, it might as well have been painted on the wall. But, damn it, he’d done what was best for her. For her to hate him is what would keep her safe, keep her alive. She was not for him and never would be. She could never be a part of his life. His world was filled with darkness and death and she deserved better than that. Better than him. He was not who she needed but the exact opposite. It would be better for both of them that she was gone. He didn’t love her. He was incapable of love. But he had to wonder. If that were true, why was there this dull pain in his heart that continued to throb like a nasty toothache at her absence in his life?

There was a loud rapping at the front door.
Who in the hell could that be? Vance wasn’t expecting anyone.
Leaving the suitcases unpacked, Seth went to answer the door.

“Hey,
Seth
,” Jason said, a sneer ruining his face even more than the healing gash that was now emblazoned upon it. He stood just outside the door with one arm out of sight. “Aren’t you going to invite me in? Or should I say
us
?” He jerked his arm into view, and Seth fought violently to keep himself in check.

With a soft cry, Madison nearly fell into the doorway. Jason’s hand was the only thing keeping her upright and his fingers dug into the soft flesh. With his other hand, he gripped her chin hard enough to make her cry, forcing her to lift her face. Her hair was a tangled mess and a large bruise was beginning to form on her right cheek. There was dried blood on her chin where her lips had been busted. She met his eyes, full of the hatred just as he’d remembered. Although he could see the bright sheen of panic just below the surface.

“What’s wrong? You act like you’ve seen a ghost,” Jason continued, taunting him, squeezing Madison’s chin even harder.

The cold wind blew in through the doorway but Seth didn’t feel it. He could only stare into those furious chocolate eyes, stunned while a volley of emotions raced through him. Anger, lust, fear, regret.

“Now, Seth, is that anyway to treat our guests?” Vance replied, coming up behind him, his voice smooth as wine. “Jason, so nice of you to join us. And look, you’ve brought . . .” Vance trailed off. “What the hell happened to her face?” Vance roared, shoving Seth aside and pulling Madison in the cabin.

“She didn’t want to come along easily so I had to convince her,” Jason replied, stepping inside the warm cabin.

“I told you not to hurt her,” he said through clenched teeth, his face red with anger.

“Oops.” Jason shrugged with a nonchalant grin and shouldered past Seth and sat next to the fire, warming his hands, ignoring them.

Quickly donning a cloak of sincerity, he turned to Madison. “I’m so sorry, my dear. Are you ok?” he asked, his voice filled with gentle concern.

Madison pulled her eyes from Seth and glared up at Vance. “No, I’m not okay. What the hell am I doing here?” Her voice was strong with anger but Seth could hear the thread of fear slipping through.
Oh,
sweetheart, now you’re in for it. If you had any idea what Vance was capable of . . .

All niceties thrown aside, Vance’s eyes narrowed, glittering dangerously. The monster was beginning to break through the surface. He pulled Madison closer to him and Seth saw that fear was at last registering in Madison’s face. “You’re here because I want you here. And I always get what I want,” he whispered loudly, dipping his head down to taste her neck. Madison pulled away, only to have Vance yank her back, harder this time.