ANGEL: When Angels Cry (8 page)

Dane leaned over his body, wrapping his arms
under his chest, holding him tight as he pushed harder, sinking
deeper inside him, tearing sharp gasps from them both. His
adrenaline pumping, Dane thrust into him, strong and deep, his
thick cock head gliding forcefully over his sweet spot, again and
again.

“Oh fuck.”
Max gasped hard, back arching as he moved
with the man, fucking him back.
“Oh my god.”

His finger’s gripping his chest, Dane panted
against the back of his neck, dropping staggered kisses on his back
and shoulders as he shoved himself into him, over and over. “Lay
down.” He trembled thickly, unsteadily, and Max sank down against
the bed, the weight of Dane’s body covering him as he continued to
thrust at him, his body molded over his. Dane caressed him and
kissed him, cries of pure ecstasy bursting from his lips, his hips
shoving against Max’s flexed ass cheeks, rocking him on the
bed.

When Dane’s hands rubbed down his arms and
his fingers intertwined with his, his warm lips kissing his
shoulder softly, affectionately…Max understood that, on some
special level–they loved each other. It wasn’t an
always and forever
kind of
love, but it was love nonetheless.

And it felt good to be able to embrace it,
share it…on
any
level.

Hellish Existence

Get a grip.

He couldn’t make the trembling stop. Angel
hugged himself hard, arms squeezing around his waist as he leaned
against the counter in the dressing room, hunched over. His eyes
burned with tears but he fought to keep them back.
What is wrong with you? Why are
you freaking out now–after all this time?
His face began to
ache as his jaw clenched tight. Pressure coiled in his chest like a
vacuum, sucking out his air.

You can’t be freaking out–you can’t!

He had been fine the first time he and Ricky
had been practicing on stage, so why was this happening now?
You know why. Last
time you weren’t actually ‘performing’.

“Angel?” Cole was suddenly at his side, arm
around his shoulders. “Hey, babe…what’s wrong?”

Angel shook his head and the tears found
their escape, sliding down his cheeks. “I can’t…breathe…”

“You’re gonna be okay.” Cole said calmly.
“Just take deep breaths. You’re having a panic attack. You’ll be
all right.”

He sensed someone on the other side of him,
then Gabe touched his back, his hand warm, soothing. “Easy, kiddo.
We’re right here. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

Lifting his head, Angel looked at the men.
“Will…will Max fire me?” he choked. He
needed
this job. He
had
to keep it. He
couldn’t go back to…

“Hey, don’t worry.” Cole assured. “Max won’t
fire you. You got stage fright, it’s understandable. Happens to the
best of us.”

Stage fright. Maybe in a sense it was. But
not the way Cole meant.

“What happened?” Gabe asked gently. “You were
doing great. What made you panic?”

Angel looked to the floor; he couldn’t tell
them the truth. He didn’t know how to confide in anyone but Maddy.
He had never had anyone but his little brother, no real friends,
even when he was a kid. The friendliness and concern of the guys
here at the club caught him off guard, and he wasn’t sure how to
respond to it–or fully trust it. Trust wasn’t something he had a
lot of experience with.

“I don’t know.” He whispered. “I just…started
feeling like I couldn’t breathe and…started to get dizzy and
nauseous.”

“Well go ahead and get dressed.” Cole told
him, “Then come out to the bar and just take it easy.”

Gabe patted his back lightly. “And despite
everything,” he smiled. “You still made a bit of cash.”

Having forgotten about the money stuffed into
his G-string, he began to pluck out the bills. Most were twenties,
but a few were fifties and hundreds.
God, please let this be enough to get Wade and
Axel through to the weekend.

***

Dane squeezed his fingers around Max’s, his
body melded to the man. He ached from head to toe to just let go
and release, but he wasn’t ready for this to end, not just yet. His
lips touched the curve of Max’s neck, dropping kisses, breath
puffing warmly against his damp, hot skin. Dane shoved into him
deep, gasping each time Max’s inner sleeve flexed and tightened
around his member.

“Oh my god, Max.”
Dane shuddered and pushed in
again, trying to control his thrusts–and losing the battle.

Max panted against the pillow, his body
moving with Dane’s.
“Don’t stop.”
He trembled, voice quavering, eyes
closed.
“Please…don’t stop.”

The slick top sheet barely covered Dane’s
rear and slipped lower with every thrust into his lover until the
open air was caressing his bare skin. He kissed between Max’s
shoulder blades and released his hands, letting his fingertips
float lightly down his ribs. The man shivered, breath hitching.
Dane backed off him. “Turn over.” He murmured.

Max twisted onto his back and Dane leaned
over him, dropping his mouth to his chest. His teeth wrapped gently
around a stiff nipple and tugged then drew it into his mouth. Max
groaned and shoved his hands into his hair, fists filling up with
ebony strands.
“Oh
god…”

The tip of Dane’s tongue traveled the crests
and valleys of Max’s muscular torso, leaving no path unexplored.
His erection throbbed, begged to be back inside the man, clear
droplets dripping onto the sheet beneath him. Max’s abdomen
quivered and jerked, sucked away from his touch then returned,
pleading for more as Dane began to nip his hard muscles gently.
Max’s stiff cock dug into Dane’s stomach, seeping juices, smearing
his skin. Groaning, Max lifted up, pushing harder against him.

Dane wrapped one hand around his steel shaft
and stroked slowly.
“Fuck.”
Max whimpered and shoved up against his
hand, through his fist. There was no
give
to his member. Ejaculation was
imminent. Dane scooted up closer, working his hips between the
man’s thighs as Max eagerly spread his legs. His cock pulsed and
drooled as he pushed himself back through the tight hole, the thick
head forcing through the inner bands,
popping
past each one as he sank
deeper into the hot, tight sleeve of Max’s anal core.

“Uuuhh!”
Max arched, grabbing Dane’s ass, short
nails gouging his rock hard cheeks as they flexed with the force of
entering the man.
“Oh fuck! Yes…baby…Shit!”

“Fuck, Max.” Dane panted, head dropped
forward. “God, you feel so good.”

Supporting himself on one arm, he reclaimed
Max’s cock in his fist and worked him good and hard as he let go
and fucked the man without reservation. Their cries and shouts
exploded throughout the bedroom, ricocheting off the walls.

“Fuuuck!”
Max yelled sharp, forceful, his body
locking, jerking as he burst, shooting thick tendrils of cum into
the air. Dane stroked him vigorously as he fucked him with renewed
urgency, his own body tightening, straining, as the cum pushed up
through his cock then burst inside the man.

“Uuuhh!! Fuuuck!”
Dane choked on the strangled wail,
slamming into Max with hard, short pumps, giving the man everything
he possessed. “Oh fuck! Yes…” He thrust at him until the orgasm
released its hold and a sudden bout of exhaustion overwhelmed him.
“Oh my god…” he gasped hard and fell onto the bed beside Max.

His eyes closed, Max’s hands pressed against
his heaving chest, breath puffing from his parted lips. When he
finally twisted his head and looked at Dane, his eyes were damp. “I
don’t know how to do it anymore.” He whispered, his words thick,
unsteady.

“Do what?” Dane murmured.

Max stared at him for a moment then slowly
turned his head and stared at the ceiling. His throat worked
against his emotions, tears thickening in his eyes, sliding down
his temples. “Pretend that…I can live without him.” He looked at
Dane again, warm tears pouring out. “Almost twenty years…I’ve been
telling myself I’m okay, I don’t need him. But every day…” He bit
his lip as fresh tears formed. “Every
fucking
day, I wake up with this
hole in my chest, like…my heart was ripped out.” He licked his lips
slowly and swallowed thickly as he shook his head, breath breaking
up his throat. “And it hurts, Dane.” He closed his eyes, chin
trembling as he curled his arm over his face. “It hurts so fucking
bad.”

Dane pulled the man into his arms and held
him tight, his hand cupped gently at the back of his head. He
kissed his hair and let him cry.

Almost twenty years?
What the hell could have
happened between him and Kaplan that was so bad it spanned nearly
two decades and continued to keep them apart?

***

“Here.” Angel handed the folded bills to
Wade. He watched the guy unfold the money and count it out.

“Three hundred bucks.” He nodded. “Now we’re
getting somewhere.” He looked at Angel. “Keep this up and you won’t
have to take side jobs.” He shrugged and smirked. “Although it
would be that much extra cash.”

“Wade, you said…”

“Yeah, yeah.” Wade held up his hand to ward
off any
whining
. “Fine. You keep the cash flowing in, and
I’ll keep my word.” Axel reached across the table for a couple of
the bills and Wade smacked his hand hard.

“Fuck!” Axel jerked his hand back. “Come on,
Wade. It isn’t just yours.”

Wade jabbed a finger at him. “You’ll get what
I decide to give you, and not a fucking cent more. You don’t do
shit. I’m the one who has been setting up the gigs from the start,
dealing with assholes who want too much of a cut. You just sit back
and reap the benefits. So
yes
, it
is
all mine until I deem otherwise. Got it?”

Axel nodded and grumbled, “Yeah, I got
it.”

They made Angel think of Jackals, scuffling
over a carcass. He left the kitchen as Wade recounted the cash, and
went to the bedroom. Maddy was in bed. Trying to be quiet, Angel
closed the door softly and walk to his bed that consisted of a
single old sleeping bag and his bare pillow. He slipped off his
shoes and undressed down to his shorts and a t-shirt then crawled
onto the mattress and sat with his back against the wall, watching
Maddy sleep.

He drew his legs up and hugged his knees, and
tried to contemplate what had happened on stage that evening. He
understood the
source
of his panic, but didn’t know why it was
flaring up again after having no episodes for almost a year.

His stepbrothers’ laughter reached the
bedroom, pushing through the closed door. Angel tried to imagine a
day when those voices would be eradicated from his and Maddy’s
lives for good. So many nights, he had thought about taking Maddy
and just running away. But Wade wasn’t so stupid as not to know
Angel loved his little brother enough to want to get him out of
there. He’d made his threats, early on. Told Angel if they tried to
run away, he would find them, and when he did–
Maddy
would be the one to pay
for it. In the worst way.

Though Angel was sure they could run far
enough that Wade would never find them…there was always the
‘What if’
hanging over his head. What if Wade
did
catch them? He knew what would happen
to Maddy–and Wade would make Angel watch. As it was right now,
Maddy remained untouched. Physically, anyway. Though he worried
about what all this was doing to him psychologically. But he
couldn’t take the thought of Maddy being sexually abused. It was
his little brother’s greatest fear. And Angel’s too.

Reaching to the edge of the mattress, Angel
grabbed his jeans and dug down into the rear pocket and withdrew
two bills. He dropped the pants and sat back against the wall again
and stared at the two twenties. Crawling off the bed, he went to
the corner of the bedroom where the large hole afforded the rats
entrance into the room, knelt down and reached inside the wall. He
brought back a small mason jar with a metal lid, unscrewed the lid
then dropped the two bills in with a small collection of loose
change and other smaller bills, replaced the lid then hid it back
inside the wall and returned to bed.

It wasn’t much, but it was a start. If he
could skim a little off his earnings without Wade or Axel finding
out, maybe one day he would have enough to take Maddy far
away–without fear of being found again.

Devil on My Shoulder

Dane stayed with Max all night, making love
and talking. For reasons Dane wasn’t entirely clear on, Max seemed
at ease opening up to him, telling him things that he was sure
other ears rarely, if ever, had privy to. Dane told him things as
well, but they both managed to keep that
one
secret unspoken.

“You really like him, don’t you?” The gray
light of dawn pressed at the drapes as they had yet to get any real
sleep.

“Who?” Dane murmured, though he knew the
answer.

“Angel.”

He sighed. “Yeah, I…guess I do.”

Max turned his head and looked at him. “You
are aware that he likes you too, right?”

Dragging his hands down his face, Dane
groaned. “Yeah…maybe…” A short laugh puffed off his lips. “I don’t
know.”

“Why are you fighting it?” Max asked
quietly.

“I don’t know that either.” Dane admitted,
then looked at him and smiled. “Maybe I’m afraid of
commitment.”

Chuckling low, Max shook his head and rubbed
the back of his hand down Dane’s chest. “I don’t think that’s
it.”