Seems to me like he’s clearing the decks.”
“For what?”
“Dduuuuhhh! For you! Who do you think?” Well, it sure wasn’t for me. Not if his half-hearted attempt to come onto me last night was anything to go by. Not that I’m sore. Angels don’t really do sore. But if I wasn’t an angel I think I might be very sore indeed.
Anyhow….
“For me? You think?” Tandy couldn’t keep the hope out of her voice, then she changed tack. “He thinks I’m anorexic.”
“You are very thin,” I said carefully. “And you don’t seem to eat very often.”
“I’m not anorexic,” she yelled. “I’m — “
“Yeah, I know, you’re an actress.”
“No. I’m in love with him! I was a hundred and twenty pounds before I moved into this apartment.”
“When exactly was that?” I was very keen to know how long it took her to lose thirty pounds.
“A year ago. Back then I used to play a lot of fat best friend parts.”
“Like me!”
“Just like you. I preferred them to the hooker roles I get now.”
We were getting diverted from our main purpose.
“So what about James?”
“Oh, he’s an asshole,” she said dismissively.
Next stop, Nick. We hadn’t spoken since he’d acted like he was about to kiss me, then changed his mind with those immortal word,
“It’s not you.”
Anyone who’s ever been told, “It’s not you,” knows immediately that it IS them. But this particular case is the one exception. It wasn’t me — it was Tandy! Nick loved Tandy, but erstwhile womanizer that he is, he probably felt it would be impolite not to try to jump me.
He was on the deck, staring moodily at nothing.
“Can we talk?”
Poor guy, he looked horrified. He thought I was going to be a girl and insist on doing a big analysis of how we nearly but not quite got it together the night before.
“Sure,” he croaked, doing a wild retreat behind his eyes.
I sat down and smile reassuringly at him. Okay, so he hadn’t 452 / MARIAN KEYES
found me attractive. But I’m bigger than all that. Well, I’m working on it.
“About Tandy,” I began.
“Yeeaaahhh?”
“Since I’ve been here, you’ve been on the phone a lot saying goodbye to girls. It’s ‘cause of Tandy, right?”
He stared me down. But I can stare longer and harder. Sometimes it’s great being a supernatural being.
With a sigh he caved in. “Yeah, I wanted her to know that I wasn’t going to be fooling around with anyone else. But what happens — she goes on a date with cute, smart, funny James.”
“He’s an asshole.” I was thinking how lucky it was that I was here. They’d never sort this mess out if I wasn’t.
“Says who he’s an asshole?”
“Tandy.”
“Yeah? For real?” A rare smile played on the corners of his mouth. He really was devastatingly attractive.
If you like that sort of thing.
“You two need to talk. But you’re kind of hard to approach, you know?”
“Hey, I wasn’t always like this,” he bristled. “I was a really happy guy until she moved in. But I see her, so beautiful and I, you know, I get, like, depressed. I usta do a lot of comedy roles once, now I only seem to get offered psychos.”
“Talk to her NOW,” I commanded, very excited about the way things were going.
But before we got any further, we had a guest.
“Karl!”
“Have you met Grace?” Nick asked.
It was the pale, ill-looking man who’d been lying by the pool.
He was also — though I hadn’t recognized him — the abusive drunk I’d accidentally called on when I’d first arrived in Los Angeles nearly a week before. He sure scrubbed up well.
“It’s you!” He sort of gasped.
Yes, it was indeed me. No point denying it.
He ran his eyes over me with the same sort of awed wonder that Granola looks at me with.
“What did you do?” He asked. “You called into my apartment and when you left I didn’t want to drink anymore. Then you stop me from burning in the sun.”
ANGELS / 453
“How’d she do that?” Nick demanded.
“I put sun lotion on him.”
“Who are you?” Karl wondered. “Some sort of angel?”
Nick followed the exchange with interest. I know Nick had had his suspicions about me, so I was surprised when he said matter-of-factly, “She’s Grace from Hicksville and you were long overdue to quit drinking, buddy. It’s no biggie.”
Karl was adamant. “I know you’ve had something to do with it.
Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” I said shyly. I was feeling — I have to ‘fess up here — pretty good about myself.
“I knew it!” Karl yelled. “I just KNEW it!”
“Karl buddy,” Nick cut in. “Can I catch up with you later, I got something real important to do.”
“Sure.”
Tandy was in her room and after a push from me, Nick knocked and went in. I was going crazy wanting to know what was going on, but I wasn’t able to see through the wall — I’m really going to have to work hard on my x-ray vision. Luckily, though, Nick hadn’t fully shut the door behind him, so I could see Tandy.
First she looked a little suspicious, then like she was listening, then she smiled and said something. Another bit of listening, then suddenly Nick was also in the frame, taking her in his arms and holding her like he was never going to let her go.
The air swelled with the sublime sound of heavenly violins.
Granola began to howl happily along with it.
THE END
Copyright © 2004 by Marian Keyes
Acknowledgments
I’d like to thank the following people: my editor, Jennifer Hershey, for the intuitive, sensitive, and insightful way she shaped this book; everyone at HarperCollins; and Russ Galen at Scovil, Chichak, and Galen.
The wonderful Ricardo Mestres, Danny Davis, and Heij at Touchstone Pictures for my first L.A. adventure.
The equally wonderful Bob Bookman, Sharie Smiley, and Jessica Tuchinsky at CAA for my second L.A. adventure.
And the following people for generously providing information, encouragment, and/or confectionery: Guy and Julie Baker, Jenny Boland, Ailish Connelly, Siobhan Coogan, Emily Godson, Gai Griffin, Dr. Declan Keane at Holles St. Hospital, Caitriona Keyes, Mammy Keyes, Rita-Anne Keyes, Julian Plunkett-Dillon, Deirdre Prendergast, Eileen Prendergast, Suzanne Power, Morag Prunty, Jason Russell, Anne-Marie Scanlon, Emma Stafford, Louise Voss, Amy Welch, and Varina Whitener. Thanks to all of you. Finally, thanks to my beloved Tony, to whom this book is dedicated.
About the Author
Marian Keyes
began writing in 1993 and is the author of seven novels,
Watermelon
,
Lucy Sullivan is Getting Married
,
Rachel’s
Holiday
,
Last Chance Saloon
,
Angels
,
Sushi for Beginners
, and
The
Other Side of the Story
—as well as the non-fiction essay collection,
Under the Duvet
. She lives in Ireland with her husband and their two imaginary dogs.
Don’t miss the next book by Marian Keyes! Sign up now for AuthorTracker at www.authortracker.com.
Enthusiastic Acclaim for Marian Keyes
and
Angels
“A comedy of love and friendship [that] gets its energy from the Hollywood desperation machine…. Keyes’s style has an easy intimacy; reading her is like chatting over a pint. She sketches her characters deftly, and her prose is bright and fast-moving…. The dialogue is irrepressibly Irish—quick-tongued and droll….
Angels
will make you glad you ventured into this dark, sunny town.”
—
Newsday
“A very funny, good-hearted comic novel…. A core of real heartbreak emerges from the comedy. Everyone faces difficult choices. What might have been a jarring change of tone in another novel works here because of Keyes’s skillful handling.”
—
San Jose Mercury News
“Keyes is excellent at writing witty, realistic dialogue.”
—
Denver Post
“Marian Keyes has created a blithe and touching character in Maggie.
Angels
is a charming novel.”
—
Salt Lake Desert News
“A heavenly romp…. Keyes entertains every inch of the way.”
—Associated Press
“If you cross Maeve Binchy with Thorne Smith, you might just come up with someone like Marian Keyes…. Beguiling…as soothing as the breath of your favorite hairdresser as she sets up your highlights…. [Keyes] creates a balmy, welcoming emotional climate where sex is at once low-key and energetic, imaginative but not ridden with guilt…. What’s not to like?”
—
Washington Post Book World
“Warmhearted and hilarious.”
—
Boston Herald
“Genuinely funny, sharply observed, and winning…. It is a hallmark of her work that she manages to combine her great comedy-writing skills with an ability to examine issues…with clarity, empathy, and delicacy.”
—
Publishers Weekly
(featured interview)
“Wacky and wonderful…. It’s not hard to figure out why Irish author Keyes’s books are bestsellers: she imbues her charming stories about flawed yet feisty women with incredible warmth and wit.”
—
Booklist
“A laugh-out-loud tour through the land of broken hearts and fun shoes.”
—
Kirkus Reviews
“Marian Keyes is a born storyteller.”
—
The Independent
(London)
“Honesty flows freely…. Keyes’s witty women characters, humorous writing style, and uplifting tone have become beloved by readers across the globe.”
—
Chicago Tribune
“Keyes entertains every inch of the way…. Many novelists make you want to speed-read through transition passages, but Keyes lets you—indeed, makes you—savor every sentence and laugh out loud a lot.”
—
Columbia State
“She has a wonderful way of conveying the dynamics of friendship…. Keyes has managed to improve upon the brand of contemporary urban tragicomedy that has already won her many devoted fans.”
—
Newark Star-Ledger
“[A] unique voice.”
—Nora Roberts
“Marian Keyes is much more than Ireland’s answer to Bridget Jones.”
—
Times
(London)
By Marian Keyes
Fiction
WATERMELON
LUCY SULLIVAN IS GETTING MARRIED
RACHEL’S HOLIDAY
LAST CHANCE SALOON
ANGELS
SUSHI FOR BEGINNERS
THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STORY
Nonfiction
NON-FICTION
UNDER THE DUVET
Credits
Jacket design by Richard L. Aquan
Jacket illustration by Beth Adams
This is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents, and dialogue are products of the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
ANGELS.Copyright © 2002 by Marian Keyes. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of PerfectBound™.
The Seven Deadlies copyright © 2003 by Marian Keyes PerfectBound™ and the PerfectBound™ logo are trademarks of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.
Adobe Acrobat eBook Reader April 2004 ISBN 0-06-075757-4
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