Anita Blake 22 - Affliction (38 page)

He laughed. ‘Just do what you need to do and get over here before dawn.’ He hung up, his voice already talking to someone at his end of the world.

‘Well, you heard the man; I need to feed and then we go question the vampires.’

‘Which one of us?’ Nicky asked.

‘Me,’ Dev said.

We both looked at him.

He smiled and held up his hands as if to say,
Unarmed
. ‘The last time you did a major feed on Nicky you almost killed him, remember?’

‘I know not to have sex with him twice in a row,’ I said.

‘He’s your Bride, which means he can’t shut off his energy when you feed the
ardeur
. We don’t want his heart stopping again because of that, right?’

We both agreed.

Then a look came over Dev’s face that I couldn’t quite read. I just knew it wasn’t a happy look. ‘Is it such a hardship to have sex with me instead of Nicky?’

I realized what the look was now. He was feeling bad about himself, worried that I preferred Nicky to him. I did, actually, but it wasn’t because Dev wasn’t wonderful on his own; he’d just gotten to me too late. I was full up for main men by the time our Devil arrived. When he’d first come to us, he’d been so confident he was cocky. It made me sad that I’d made him doubt himself, though I knew that Asher had done a lot to undermine the Devil’s confidence in himself, too.

I went to Dev, touched his arm, and studied his face. ‘You are handsome and yummy, and I’ve never said otherwise.’

‘You mean that, but it doesn’t change the fact that you’d rather fuck Nicky than me.’

‘You’re prettier than me,’ Nicky said.

Dev grinned. ‘Thanks, but Anita has a lot of pretty in her life.’ His face sobered. ‘She needs more than just a pretty face and great sex.’

‘I may need more than that, but it’s not a bad place to start,’ I said. I went up on tiptoe to try and kiss him, but at six foot three, if he didn’t bend down to me I wasn’t reaching his mouth.

He bent down and let me kiss him, but his blue-brown eyes stayed serious. ‘It’s not a bad place to start, but I know what it’s like to be in love now and to have someone in love with me. I miss it.’

‘You miss Asher,’ I said.

He nodded.

‘If he could stop throwing jealous rages, I’d miss him more, too,’ I said.

‘I don’t like that part of him either, but I love all of him, and he loved me.’

‘Have you heard from him?’ I asked.

‘He told me to go find a girl and settle down with her, that he’d found a boy who liked just boys. He didn’t have to be second to the next pussy that came along.’

I dropped back to stand flat-footed. I wondered if he’d given the same talk to Jean-Claude; if so, my main squeeze hadn’t shared. ‘Yeah, that sounds like Asher when he’s being shitty.’

‘But the thought that he found another man to replace me really bothered me, Anita. I thought I couldn’t live without more people, especially women, but now I don’t know.’

‘Would you give up women for him?’ Nicky asked.

Dev looked at the other man. ‘I think I might. It would be hard, but for him I might. I didn’t expect to miss him this much.’

‘Have you ever missed anyone before?’ I asked.

Dev shook his head. It made me remember that he was younger than me and had certainly had a more sheltered life than a lot of the other men in my life. I touched his arm again.

He smiled at me, but it was a sad smile.

‘I miss him, too,’ I said.

‘Do you?’

‘I miss the bondage with him topping Nathaniel and me more than anything else, but I’m learning that it can be just as hard to find someone to dominate you in the bedroom as to date outside it.’

‘Will you talk to Jean-Claude about bringing him home?’

‘I was going to talk to him about it when I got home anyway.’

‘Really?’

‘Jean-Claude is wasted as the ringmaster at Circus of the Damned. Businesswise we need him back at Guilty Pleasures, which means we need Asher back to manage and be ringmaster at the Circus.’

‘Who talked to you about the business side of things?’ Nicky asked.

‘Jason told me that he can manage Guilty Pleasures, but he doesn’t have Jean-Claude’s magically seductive voice, and Jean-Claude had some seriously loyal customers who are missing him.’

‘Jean-Claude may like women best, but he’s missing Asher, too,’ Dev said.

‘They’ve been in love with each other for a few hundred years,’ I said.

‘And Micah doesn’t like being introduced as “our Micah” in meetings with other preternatural leaders,’ Nicky said.

‘He hasn’t mentioned it to me,’ I said.

‘There’s a level of intimacy that Jean-Claude is addressing toward Micah just in the last month or so that hints that Micah is more than just your lover.’

‘Jean-Claude hasn’t mentioned wanting to make Micah more than a blood donor,’ I said.

‘If Jean-Claude wants another male lover, why hasn’t he asked me?’ Dev said.

‘You’d say yes?’ I asked.

He grinned. ‘I wouldn’t say no.’

‘I think Jean-Claude is avoiding Dev because he thinks it would piss Asher off to have his two men fucking each other without him involved,’ Nicky said.

I gave him wide eyes.

He shrugged. ‘Asher isn’t really good at the polyamory. He doesn’t like to share unless he’s the main focus.’

‘And he wasn’t the main focus with anyone but me,’ Dev said, ‘and then I had to try to add a woman who wasn’t Anita, and Asher couldn’t deal with it.’

‘You wish you hadn’t done it,’ I said.

‘Sometimes, but if I hadn’t asked for what I thought I wanted, then I wouldn’t have realized that I could miss someone like this. I wouldn’t have known what Asher meant to me.’

‘I don’t think any of you would have realized how much he meant if you hadn’t had a chance to miss him,’ Nicky said.

‘I’ll talk to Jean-Claude when we get back,’ I said.

‘Thank you,’ Dev said, and then he looked even sadder. ‘If he’s found someone to replace me and Jean-Claude, then I’m not sure I want him back in town. I don’t think I could stand to see him with another man and know that I’d lost him.’

I didn’t know what to say to that, so I did the only thing I could think of: I hugged him. He wrapped me in his arms, but there was no heat to it, only comfort. We sort of clung to each other in the debris of Asher’s tantrums.

‘This is very touching, but it’s not going to lead to a quick feeding for the
ardeur
,’ Nicky said.

We both turned and looked at him. My look wasn’t friendly, and I expected Dev to be in the same frame of mind, but he said, ‘Nicky’s right. Sad is not an aphrodisiac.’

I pulled back enough to gaze up at Dev. ‘What do you want to do?’

‘Are you really turning down a chance to feed the
ardeur
?’ Nicky asked.

‘Just this one time. Would it be totally weird to say I have to call Asher and find out if he’s just punishing me with the talk of another guy, or if he’s serious that he doesn’t want me in his life anymore?’ Dev said.

‘You want to know the answer before I talk to Jean-Claude about maybe bringing Asher back to town,’ I said.

‘Yes.’

‘Are you giving up Anita along with all the other women?’ Nicky asked.

He thought about it and then shook his head. ‘I’m her golden tiger to call, and I need to be free to be that in every way she needs. Because of the kind of vampire she is, that includes sex.’

‘So, she’s the one exception,’ Nicky said.

Dev nodded.

‘Wasn’t one of the reasons you went to other women was that Anita had so many men in her bed that you weren’t getting enough pussy?’

I frowned at Nicky.

‘Sorry, I forgot you don’t like that word, but it’s still a good question. It’s what started the fight that got Asher exiled in the first place.’

‘He’s right, Anita, it is a good question.’ Dev sighed.

‘Okay,’ I said, ‘do you have a good answer?’

He grinned and then looked sad, like clouds passing over the sun on a summer’s day. ‘Not until I talk to Asher.’

‘You really think talking to him will give you a good answer?’ Nicky asked.

Dev smiled, but it was sad around the edges, and in his eyes. ‘I’ll have an answer; not sure if it will be good or bad.’

Nicky shook his head. ‘I’d never have fallen in love with anyone if Anita hadn’t mind-fucked me, because I think this is just stupid.’

‘Love is stupid?’ Dev asked.

‘It makes you weak,’ Nicky said.

Dev nodded. ‘It can.’

I realized that Nicky had said, in a very backward way, that he was ‘in love’ with me, but since he hadn’t made a big deal out of it, neither did I. I’d think about it and decide if we needed to talk about it later. I was voting no.

‘Do you think he’s learned his lesson?’ I asked.

‘Asher, you mean?’ he asked.

‘Yes,’ I said.

‘No,’ he said.

‘Me either,’ I said. ‘He’ll be better for a while.’

‘And yet we both want him back,’ Dev said.

‘Apparently we all do.’

‘It makes no sense,’ he said.

‘No, it doesn’t, but if it were logical, would it still be love?’

He seemed to think about that for a minute and then shook his head. ‘No, I guess it wouldn’t.’ He smiled down at me. ‘But I still think it’s too dangerous for Nicky to feed you right now. We don’t want another accident where you make his heart stop.’

I looked at Nicky. He looked back. His face was serious, almost unreadable, and I realized it had been even when he was talking about being in love. I went to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. He put his arms around me automatically. We were left staring at each other, me up, and him down.

‘I won’t risk Nicky like that again.’

A slow smile spread across his face, and he hugged me closer, pressing our bodies against each other. ‘Good to know,’ he said, voice low and soft.

‘But Anita still needs to feed the
ardeur
,’ Dev said.

‘Who do you want to feed on?’ Nicky asked.

‘Who’s available? Someone told me that we had fresh guards in town, didn’t say who.’

‘I’ll go see who’s in Nathaniel’s room,’ Dev said.

‘Where is he?’ I asked.

‘Farther down the hall,’ Dev said.

Nicky hugged me tighter, which made me look at him. ‘He’s fed you enough; you need fresh meat.’

‘I wasn’t thinking about feeding on Nathaniel, just seeing him.’

‘You have to clean up, so start, and Dev will send someone in.’

I frowned at him. ‘I’d like a choice.’

‘We won’t send in anyone who you haven’t already fed on and had sex with, so does it really matter?’ Nicky said.

‘Yeah,’ I said.

He gave me a look, like I was being silly.

‘How about it’s a surprise,’ Dev said, ‘you in the shower and your lover strips off and joins you. It’s romantic and spontaneous.’

I frowned at him.

Nicky turned me around to face the bathroom door. ‘Your soap, shampoo, razors, everything is in there. Go get cleaned up, and before you’re finished you’ll have food.’

I frowned at him, too.

He gave me a little push toward the door. ‘Go, Anita, go so you can question the vampires before dawn.’

‘I’d forgotten,’ I said.

‘When you’re really low on
ardeur
feeds, you forget important things. Clean up, we’ll bring you takeout, and then we’ll go catch bad guys.’

I didn’t point out the irony of Nicky calling someone else a bad guy, with his background. I just went into the bathroom and started cleaning up. The fact that I’d gotten this distracted when we were on a time limit for questioning witnesses said just how low my reserves were. I needed a fast shower, fast food, and some fast answers from our vampire prisoners. It was all about quickies tonight.

The shower was basically a raised lip in the floor with a curtain that went around the two sides that weren’t walls. Nicky was right, someone had put all my stuff on the little built-in shelves ready to go. I’d soaped, scrubbed, done both rounds of hair conditioner, and actually had time to do both legs just above the knees, and I was still showering alone. When I knew I was going to be interrupted I’d started shaving in zones, so at least if I had to stop I’d be even. You can shave or not shave, but one leg completely done and the other not shaved at all just didn’t work. So instead of doing one leg from ankle to hip, I did both legs to just above the knee, and then if I had time did the rest of the legs. What was taking the guys this long to decide who was getting in the shower with me?

I actually pulled the curtain back to check the time on my phone, and it had only been fifteen minutes. I’d gotten fast at showers; I guess it was having to get blood off me after most night’s work – lots of practice. Fifteen minutes wasn’t long to decide who would be feeding me and maybe not be able to do their bodyguard job until they’d slept, or eaten, or both. After this kind of major healing, it would be a drain on whoever I fed upon. We’d be down one guard. I’d give them twenty minutes and then I was calling someone.

I stepped back into the shower and started on my thighs. I might as well accomplish something while I was waiting. Patience was never my best virtue. I didn’t so much hear the door open as feel the line of cooler air invading the foggy warmth of the bathroom.

I couldn’t see anything through the curtain. I turned to face where the curtain opened, razor still in my hand. My pulse had sped up, my body already tightening, and that was without knowing who was about to come through the curtain. Maybe Dev had something on the whole surprise thing?

The curtain parted and Jean-Claude was standing there, pale and perfectly nude, his dark hair falling past his shoulders, loose and free and covering nothing. Of all the men I’d expected it to be, he hadn’t been on my list. I should have chastised him that he was risking himself traveling to another territory. That he was safer at home. That he was basically the vampire president of the country, and he had other responsibilities besides love. I should have said a lot of things, but I didn’t. I stepped out of the water and into his arms with a sound that was suspiciously like a sob. I let his arms and body wrap me close and raised my face for a kiss from those lips, that face. I had a moment to gaze into the darkest blue eyes I’d ever seen, as if the midnight sky could be blue, and then he was kissing me and I closed my eyes and gave myself to his lips, his mouth, and his hands gliding over the wet slickness of my body. It was as if that kiss were air and water and everything I’d been needing.