Anna's Gift (11 page)

Someone banged on the bathroom door. “Just a minute,” Dorcas said. She grabbed Anna's hand and squeezed it. “Do you think Samuel fit in here tonight?”

Anna's shook her head. “Not really. It was easy to see that he wanted to get away. Most everyone here is too young for him.”

“Exactly. So why would he pick you? Have you thought that maybe he's still in love with his wife, that he's only asked you so he'll have someone to take her place, someone who's willing to work hard…and…”

“And what?” Anna asked. She'd been having such a good time tonight. She knew that Samuel had only come to please her. She was looking forward to having him drive her home in his buggy, maybe asking him in for coffee and a slice of her chocolate pie. But Dorcas's doubts brought her own back. Maybe her cousin was right. “You may as well say it all.”

Dorcas took a deep breath. “What if he's marrying you because he knows he could never really love you? If he wants a companion, but not a wife in that way? If he thinks of you as…well, a sister?”

“A sister?” Anna bit her bottom lip. “You think Samuel thinks of me as a sister?” Suddenly a black hole seemed to open below her feet. “I…didn't think that a man like Samuel would ever want me,” she murmured. “But he wouldn't take no for an answer. I prayed over it, and it seemed to me that it was the right thing to consider his offer.”

“So you don't care
why
he wants to marry you?”

“Hurry up in there,” came a boy's voice. “I drank three sodas.”

“You hush that talk,” Dorcas hollered. “We'll be done when we're done.”

“Of course I care,” Anna whispered. “I don't think of
him as a brother.” Had she been fooling herself? Anna turned back and looked into the small mirror, and the same, round pudding face stared back.
Why would he want a fat girl?
How did she know if this was the way it was done…how Samuel would act if he really cared for her? She'd never been courted before. “He tried to hold my hand on Sunday.”

“Doesn't mean anything. Friends hold hands.”

“Not men and women friends.”

“Did you let him?”

“Ne.”
Anna choked on the lie. “
Ya,
but just for a minute.”

“Hmm.” Dorcas folded her arms over her chest. “I don't know what that means. Maybe he does like you.” But Anna didn't think Dorcas sounded convinced. “Is he driving you home?”

“I think so. He hasn't asked me yet.”

“Dorcas!”

“We'd better go,” Anna said.

“Tell me everything tomorrow. Then we can decide what to do.” Dorcas opened the door and Elmer Beachy rushed past them into the bathroom.

What do you mean “we”?
Anna thought as they rejoined the others in the kitchen. She valued her cousin's advice, but Dorcas had never been courted either. This was all too confusing. If Johanna didn't have a houseful, she might have asked for her guidance. Ruth and Miriam had both recently courted and married, but they hadn't married older men, as Johanna had. Actually, the difference between Johanna and Wilmer wasn't as great as that between her and Samuel, but Johanna might have some good ideas. She would listen to everything Anna had to say and give her opinion. And she didn't care if it was what you wanted to hear or not. Next to Mam,
Johanna gave the best advice. And Anna really needed some. She'd been about to tell Samuel he could court her, and now she was more in a quandary than ever.

A
half hour later, Anna found herself bundled into Samuel's buggy with a sheepskin robe over her lap, riding down Johanna's driveway. Her sisters, just ahead of them, turned left toward home. Samuel guided the horse right.

“Where are you going?” Anna asked him. “Home is that way.”

Samuel chuckled. “I think I know where you live.” He grinned boyishly at her in the light of the carriage lamps. “The rules say that I'm supposed to drive my girl home. They don't say what route I have to take to get there.”

“Mam won't be pleased,” Anna ventured. Sitting beside him was wonderful, but the doubts and fears that Dorcas had raised made her apprehensive. She wanted to come right out and ask Samuel if this was a courting of convenience, or something more…but she couldn't be that bold. And if he said that he thought of her as a good companion and nothing more, she couldn't stand it.

Anna's stomach churned. She shouldn't have eaten that second popcorn ball or the whoopie pie. She should have stuck to the apple and celery slices that everyone was dipping in peanut butter. No wonder she was so fat and ugly. She always had a good appetite. And what man
wanted a wife who could lift a hundred-pound bag of calf feed? She sank back on the seat and clutched the bag of taffy she was saving for Samuel's children.

“Are you going to invite me in when we get to your house?” he asked.

She didn't know. She hadn't decided yet. Instead of answering his question, she thrust the bag of candy toward him. “For your kids,” she said.

“Danke.”
He took the taffy and thrust it into a compartment under the seat. “It's thoughtful of you. They love sweets. Homemade are best. They always beg for candies at Byler's store, but I don't buy much. I don't want them to have bad teeth.”

Anna nodded. This was a much safer subject. “
Ya.
You are a wise father. You should see what some of the children bring to school in their lunch pails. Mam can't believe it. Cans of soda pop. Candy bars and potato chips. Not what she packed for us when we went there.”

“Sandwiches and apples?”

“Sometimes. Usually cheese or meat, whatever she had on hand. Always fruit. And in the winter we had thermoses of hot soup. Mam was big on soup and raw vegetables. I ate so many carrots when I was little that it's a wonder my ears didn't grow like a rabbit's.”

“But you have nice teeth. White. Even. I always liked your teeth.”

In spite of herself, Anna felt a little shiver of excitement run through her.
He liked her teeth.
She'd always brushed after the noon meal, as well as night and morning. Mam was in her forties, but she still had all of her own teeth and not a single filling. Anna wanted to be like her when she was old, and she hoped it wasn't
Hockmut
to be proud of her smile. “Mam always took us to the dentist to have our teeth cleaned.”

“That's important.” He shook the lines over the horse's back and the stocky Morgan turned off the blacktop road onto a dirt lane that ran through Stutzman's woods.

“Oh.” Anna swallowed. Trees closed over their heads, shutting out the pale winter sky. Some of the trees were pine, others hardwood. The oak and maple leaves had fallen, and the bare branches looked like ghostly fingers. “I don't like driving this way at night.”

“You'll be fine. I'd never let anything or anyone harm you, Anna. Smoky's a good horse. He may not be as fancy-stepping as some of those thoroughbred pacers, but he knows his business.”

Anna glanced from the scary trees to the Morgan, noting that Samuel had covered the horse's back with a warm, quilted blanket. Not everyone thought of their animals on such a cold winter night, and it pleased her that Samuel cared about Smoky's comfort as well as hers. He was a kindhearted man…a good man. But could they be happy together?

Even in the shadowy darkness, she could see how handsome Samuel was. Among the Plain People, looks weren't supposed to matter, but you rarely saw a good-looking man with a wife who had a face like hers. “Like to like,” as Aunt Martha was fond of saying. “The Lord didn't mean for an apple tree and a paw-paw to make fruit.”

Anna sighed. If Samuel was an apple tree, he'd be a Jonathan or a Yellow Delicious, and she was certainly a paw-paw—big and shapeless, without much taste. But still, a paw-paw could enjoy the sunshine and the rain, too, couldn't it? Why couldn't she savor every moment of this night? What would it hurt to pretend that Samuel was her beau? That he
did
love her, and that he had chosen
her above any other girl in the county because he wanted her to be his wife in every way the Lord intended?

The buggy wheels squeaked and squished in the snow. The harness creaked and Smoky huffed and puffed, sending plumes of white into the air in front of his head. The woods smelled wonderful: all evergreen, fresh and wintery. In some ways, the dark lane was scary, but in others it was wonderful. With Samuel beside her so tall and strong, what could hurt her? In spite of what she'd said to Samuel earlier, she was now glad he had taken the buggy this way. No matter what happened, she would have this night to remember…the night when, for a little while, she belonged to Samuel and he belonged to her.

“I wanted to ask you,” he said in his quiet way, “to do me a favor.”

“Anything.”

“I have to go away on Friday. There's a farm auction over to Sudlersville. I thought to take the boys, but after what they did to your Aunt Martha, they don't deserve a day off from school. Me and another fellow, we have a ride in a van, but now I need someone to watch the kids. Naomi and the twins will be in school, but I was wondering if you would mind coming to the house and staying with the little ones?”

Something rustled in the bushes. Unconsciously, Anna slid closer to Samuel. “Of course I will,” she said. “I'll be glad to. I promised Grossmama to take her to Byler's in the afternoon, but if it's all right with you, I can take the two girls along.”

It was easier for her when they talked about homey things like the children. She could almost shut out the feeling that the space between them was charged in the same way the air felt before a lightning strike.

“To Byler's.” He snorted. “Those two could have the walls down around you, if they take a mind to.”

“They will not,” she said firmly, aghast at the very idea. “My sisters are going, and Leah can be quite firm. I think she learned it taking care of Grossmama.”

“Fine by me if they go, if you think you can handle them. It will take a load off my mind having you keep them for the day. I hear there's a small horse-drawn cultivator for sale, and it will be just the right size for Rudy and Peter.”

There was a comfortable silence between them for perhaps five minutes. That was a nice thing about Samuel, Anna thought. They could ride along without talking and feel at ease. He wasn't like Charley, who always had to be explaining something or asking questions or telling jokes, and he certainly wasn't like any of the silly boys who'd been at Johanna's tonight. Dorcas had called him a big barn of a man, and it fit. He was solid and dependable, not exciting, but real. She liked him, a lot, but she didn't know if that was love she was feeling. She wanted the joy that she saw in Miriam's eyes every time she looked at her new husband, Charley.

Something about what Samuel had said about the boys not deserving to have a day off and go to the auction tugged at her thoughts. “What about Naomi?” she said, almost without realizing she'd said it out loud.

“Naomi? What about her?” Samuel sounded surprised.

“Maybe she'd like to go with you. To the auction.”

“A girl? What would Naomi do at an auction?”

“Follow you around. Have you buy her lunch. Spend special time with her father. Naomi works hard. She takes care of her little sisters. She tries to keep the house clean.”

“Keep her out of school?”

“You were going to take the twins out for the day, and Naomi gets all A's on her report card. She's at the top of her class. She deserves a reward.”

“I doubt there'll be any other girls her age there.”

“But
you'll
be there. You don't love her any less than Peter and Rudy, do you?”

“Ne.”
Samuel raised his voice. “Of course, not. Why would you say such a thing?”

Anna lowered her head so that he couldn't see her smile. “I know that you love all of your children equally, but it's important that
they
know it—especially your daughters. And giving Naomi a special outing would make her happy.”

“You don't approve of the way I raise my children?”

“
Ya,
Samuel, I do. I don't know of a better father.”
Other than my own,
she thought, but didn't say. “You must do what you think right. It's only that…”

“Only what?”

She made her own voice soft and coaxing. “That a man has so many things on his mind, he may not remember what pleases a girlchild.” Her father had always taken one of his daughters with him whenever he went somewhere, even if it was a trip to the dentist. And in a household of seven children, those special times with him stayed in her mind like treasures. “You know your Naomi best, Samuel, but I think she would like it.”

“And other men? What would they think if I drag a girl along?”

Anna chuckled. “I think they will shake their heads and smile and hold their opinions, because I doubt few men would care to remark on what you do with your own children.”

“Few men. But you would.”

“I'm only a woman. My mind is on house and chil
dren. And I know that if you want to court me, you would have a woman who will speak her mind to you, not one who will bob her head like a nanny goat and say ‘
Ya,
Samuel,
ya.
Whatever you say.'”

He laughed. “I think there is more to you than I expected, Anna Yoder.”

“More bad or more good?” she dared.

“That,” he smiled, “I'm sure, I'll find out.”

 

As Samuel drove the horse and buggy into the yard, he saw that the only lights visible were those in the kitchen and a single kerosene lamp in an upstairs window.

“Someone's up late,” he said, pointing to the second floor.

“Ne,”
Anna replied. “That's for me. Whenever one of us is away, we keep a lamp burning to welcome them home.”

“Your sisters were in Ohio for most of a year. Did you leave a light in the window every night for them?”

Anna smiled in the darkness. “A Christmas candle that ran on batteries. Plastic. Susanna was in charge of replacing the batteries when they started to lose their power. She did a good job.”

“I like that. It must make you feel good inside that someone would do such a thing.” He climbed down and helped her out. The ride home hadn't gone as he'd expected. He'd enjoyed being alone with Anna, but she hadn't let him hold her hand. He'd been hoping for a kiss, but that wasn't going to happen either, so long as she hadn't agreed to seriously consider his proposal. “Are you going to ask me in?”

“
Ya.
I am. It's cold out here, and you need a cup of hot coffee before you start home. But we can only visit
a little while. You have to be up early, and it's too nasty a night to keep Smoky standing out here.”

“I thought I'd put him in the barn, out of the wind. I've a feed bag in the back. He can have some oats, although I'm sure he'd drink coffee if I offered it to him.”

Samuel waited until Anna was safely on the porch before tending to Smoky. When he stomped his snowy boots off on the mat, shrugged off his coat and came into the warm kitchen a few moments later, he was enveloped by the odor of fresh coffee. Three mugs and a generous slice of pie waited on the table. Inwardly, he groaned. Seated at the end of the table was Anna's great aunt, Jezebel. Obviously, he and Anna would not be allowed to enjoy each other's company in private.

“Did you two enjoy your taffy pull?” Jezebel waved Samuel to the high-backed seat at the head of the table.

Samuel nodded and sat down.

“It was fun,” Anna agreed. “Did the girls get home safe?”

“Your sisters?
Ya.
They went up to bed, seeing as how late it is.” She pushed her glasses up off her nose and peered at Anna with a glint in her eyes. “Samuel's horse must be lame. It took the two of you a lot longer to come from Johanna's than it took your sisters.”

“Oh, we came a different way,” Anna said. “By the dirt lane.” She glanced at Samuel. He was staring into his coffee cup and stirring hard with his spoon.

Her aunt nodded. “That explains it then. I took a long buggy ride or two in my day.” She smiled and Anna smiled back, a little relieved Aunt Jezzy wasn't upset with her for dawdling with Samuel.

“Hannah, is she asleep?” Samuel took another forkful of the pie.

“Sound asleep,” Aunt Jezebel said. “I'm the only night
owl, beside you two youngsters. Thought I'd sit up and see how your evening was.”

“I liked the candy making.” Anna sat down at the table. “But some of the kids were silly, spraying soda pop and playing catch with popcorn balls. Johanna had to threaten to send some of the boys home early to get them to behave.”

“And how did you put up with all that nonsense?” Aunt Jezebel looked pointedly at Samuel. He was scraping the last crumbs off the plate and washing them down with coffee.

“Anna wanted to go, so we went,” he mumbled through a mouthful of pie. “It wasn't bad.”

“I know just what you're thinking.” The little woman peered at him through her glasses. “You're wondering why I'm still up and keeping you from visiting with Anna.”

Anna was afraid of what to think her great aunt might say next.