Anne Belinda (9 page)

Aurora Fairlie, in a monstrous hurry, passed within a yard of her. Her heavy shoes creaked as much as ever—Aurora's shoes always did creak. Anne looked back and saw the broad tweed-clad shoulders and rough deer-stalker hat disappear in the crowd. She slipped into the street half laughing, and once again she wondered whether Aurora knew that Anne Waveney had been travelling with her for a year.

At Aristide's she found an assistant who remembered her and mourned over the neglected condition of her hair.

“I've been right out of civilization,” said Anne. “It
is
awful—isn't it?”

The young lady threw a complacent glance at her own immaculate golden waves.

“
Well
—” she said, and left it at that, adding: “Of course, I'll do my best.”

Her best was a very talented best. As the clever fingers did their work, Annie Jones receded, and Anne Belinda Waveney emerged upon the world. At the same time the world displayed itself to Anne Belinda. The young lady had a fluent tongue as well as clever fingers. She talked all the time, and while she talked, Anne gathered up the news of twelve lost months: There had been a strike—a general strike, and a coal strike. The coal strike was still going on, but the general strike had been brought to an end, largely, she gathered, owing to the unparalleled courage, resource, and ingenuity of the young lady's gentleman friend—“Drove a lorry right down to the docks for food—and we quite in a way about him. And, as far as I could see, he seemed to be enjoying himself, though I'm sure I don't know why. At it from morning till night he was—and very hard work, and no regular meals. And all he did was to laugh and say it was just like old times when he drove a lorry in the war. And what I said to him was what I think any young lady might feel—That's not too hot for you, miss? Just say if you feel it—what I said was—well, I said, ‘You may say what you like, and how anyone can enjoy working overtime, let alone not getting paid anything extra'—I'm giving you a nice loose wave in front, same as you always had—‘Well,' I said, ‘whether it's like old times or not, we don't want any of your nasty foreign wars over here.' Now, miss, there's one side done, and if you take the glass, you can see how you like it.”

CHAPTER XI

The nearest station was five miles from Waterdene. Anne took a taxi, and tried to recover the golden moment of anticipation whose glory had passed when she stepped out upon an empty platform—empty, that is, to her. Other people were being met. The fat young woman who had travelled down with her had been met by a stout young man, who kissed her very heartily, to their mutual satisfaction. The old lady in the next carriage had been met by a thin daughter in spectacles and a surprisingly bright green motor veil. The little boy in an elder brother's cut-down suit had been embraced by a stout, placid grandmother. Yet for Anne the platform was empty. She sat, smiling tremulously and trying to think of all the reasons which might have kept Jenny from meeting her.

When they came in sight of the gates, Anne's heart began to beat so fast that she stopped trying to think at all. Two minutes more, perhaps three, and she would have Jenny again. There was only the length of the drive between them.

The taxi swung in at the open gate. About thirty yards farther on the drive took a sudden turn. The over-arching trees cast a pleasant flickering shade. Anne, leaning from the window, saw the river gleam beyond the trees. And then she saw Jenny.

The taxi stopped. Afterwards she knew that Jenny must have signed to it to stop; at the time, she thought of nothing but Jenny herself. She had the door open and, forgetting the suitcase, she ran across the gravel to the sunlit patch of grass where Jenny stood.

It was Jenny who remembered all that Anne had forgotten. Her hand went out, but it kept Anne safely at arm's length. She said, “Wait.” And then she left Anne and spoke to the driver, repeating the word.

“Will you wait down there by the lodge?” That was what she said.

Anne heard the words, but they did not seem to mean anything, because she was still thinking only of Jenny. She looked at her now as she came hurrying back.

Her first sight of Jenny's face was to have blotted out all the bad dreams of Jenny frightened; the straining eyes, the agonized pallor were to be blotted out. Yet somehow they were not blotted out. As Jenny came up to her and put her hand on her arm, Anne had the most terrible feeling that this pretty, smiling composure was just an illusion, and that behind it there was the terrified Jenny who had haunted all her dreams. The hand on her arm was stiff.

“Come through here—this way. Anne,
why
did you come?”

They were in a narrow walk that wound its way into the shrubbery on the right of the drive. Tall bushes of holly, berberis and yew rose high above their heads; a little farther and the path was almost a tunnel. Jenny hurried on until it opened into a curious square clearing. A hedge of clipped holly gave it high, impenetrable walls. In one of the walls a window had been cut. It framed a brilliant, exquisite picture of blue sky, sunny water, and green meadow. The place itself was dark and cold.

As they came into it, Anne flung her free arm about Jenny.

“Oh, Jen!” she said.

Just for a moment there was a response. Then Jenny stood away, her hand dropping to her side.

“Why did you come?” she said. “Oh,
Anne,
why did you come?”

A sense of confusion came over Anne. The whole of her consciousness was so full of the joy of being with Jenny again that there was literally no room in it for anything else. But something else was pushing against the door of her thought, pressing to come in. The darkness of this overshadowed place added to her bewilderment. She put out her hands and said, speaking slowly and doubtfully:

“Why, Jen, where—I mean—didn't you want me to come?”

“I told you not to come. I told you not to do anything till you'd seen Mr. Carruthers.”

“He's been ill. He's away.” Then after a pause, “I wired.”

“What's the good of wiring? You didn't wait for an answer—and I only got the wire ten minutes before you arrived. We'd been out to lunch at Greystones. It was
all
I could do to get away from the rest of them and catch you at the gate.”

Anne's eyebrows drew together; her eyes dwelt on Jenny with a puzzled look.

“Have you got a party?”

“People for the week-end. But,
anyhow
—Anne, you
must
see that you can't possibly come here like this.”

Anne went on looking. Part of her mind was thinking how well Jenny looked, and how pretty—white suited her. Part of it was not thinking at all, but trying, with an awful sense of strain, to keep out that pressing, pushing something which sought to force a way for itself.

“Why, Jen?”

Jenny came nearer.

“Why on earth didn't you wait until you heard from me? You
ought
to have waited.”

“No—I don't think so. I had to see you—I had to know what you'd been saying to people. As it was, I nearly ran into Aurora. And I thought—” She gave a little laugh.

“
Aurora!
” Jenny's tone was quite horrified.

“Yes, my child, Aurora. If I hadn't been frightfully quick, she'd have seen me. And before she sees me, I think I should just like to know how much Aurora knows.”

“She doesn't know anything.”

“How do you mean she doesn't know anything? I'm supposed to have been travelling with her. Doesn't she know that?”

“No, she doesn't. I wrote to her, and the letter came back. And I didn't think she'd be coming home for months, because Leonard Fairlie said that Mabel told him that Aurora was just off to Kurdistan. So I made sure that she wouldn't be back for ages. Are you
certain
it was Aurora?”

Anne laughed again. Jenny never believed anything she didn't want to believe. If it suited her to feel sure that Aurora was in Kurdistan, she would continue to feel sure in the face of the most daunting evidence.

“Of course I'm certain. I saw her. She's staying at Haydon's Hotel—I saw her signature in the register.”

“I must see her,” said Jenny. “Or—or—you can see her for me. We really oughtn't to lose any time, and the very earliest day I could possibly go to town would be Wednesday. Yes, you'd better see her. Look here, you'll catch the four-forty-five if you hurry. I told the taxi to wait.”

A stab of pain pierced the confusion of Anne's thoughts. Jenny had told the taxi to wait. She was not to stay at Waterdene; she was to go back to town, and she was to go back at once. Jenny's hand was on her arm, pushing her a little.

“Anne, do wake up! You must hurry if you want to catch the four-forty-five.”

A stab of anger followed the stab of pain.

“Why should I catch it?”

“Oh, you
must!
”

“Why, Jenny?”

Jenny slipped her hand into the crook of Anne's elbow.

“Anne—please go—oh, please!”

But Anne stood her ground.

“Why, Jenny?” she repeated.

Jenny snatched her hand away.

“Why do you make it so hard for me? You must know that you oughtn't to have come here. I can't possibly have you, and you're just making it as dreadful for me as you can.”

“
I can't possibly have you.
” When Jenny said that, Anne's guard came down. All the joy and the light and the brightness that had filled her thoughts went dead, and cold, and dark. She did not move or show any sign. But she lost count of time for a little. She did not know how long it was before her mind was clear again—cold and dark, but clear.

“
Oh
, you're making it so hard for me!” said Jenny.

“I'm sorry.” Anne spoke quite simply and without sarcasm. “There are things I want to ask you. There's plenty of time. You say that Aurora doesn't know anything. Who does know?”

“Mr. Carruthers—”

Anne moved her hand impatiently.

“Naturally—since he wrote to me. And, from what he wrote, I—I suppose—” She stopped, then forced herself to go on: “I suppose Father knew.”

Jenny was crying a little.

“Anne, I couldn't help it.”

“Who told him?”

“He guessed.”

“How could he?”

“He guessed there was something—he got it out of Nanna. You don't suppose I wanted to tell him?”

“No, I suppose you didn't. Anyone else, Jenny?” Anne's voice was so quiet that Jenny took heart.

“Only Nicholas,” she said, and began to dry her eyes.

Anne took a quick breath.

“What does Nicholas know?”

“Anne—don't! I couldn't help it—I didn't mean to tell him.”

“What did you tell him?”

“It was an accident—I didn't mean it. Father made a most frightful scene, and Nicko heard something he said, and then I couldn't get out of it. I
had
to tell him.”

Anne took a step forward.

“What did you tell him, Jenny?”

“Anne—don't look at me like that!”

“Did you tell him—
everything?
”

Jenny burst into tears.

“You don't know Nicko—you don't—no one does. He's so frightfully proud. You don't know him.”

“Did you tell him what you told Mr. Carruthers—and Father?”

“I had to.”

“I see.” The two words took the last of Anne's breath for the moment.

The tears were running down Jenny's face, but Anne's eyes were quite dry. When she said “I see,” she did see quite clearly. She saw where she stood, and where Jenny stood, and that there was a great gulf between them. On the far side of that impassable gulf there was not only Jenny, but all the world that Anne had known and loved. In that world there was no place for Anne any more; she was cut off from it, utterly, completely, and irrevocably. A horror of isolation, a horror of outer darkness, began to move stealthily towards her. She felt their approach, and could do no more than stand to meet it. There was no place for her. There was no refuge.

“Oh, Anne!” said Jenny. “Why did you come? I could have come up and met you quietly and explained
everything.
What's the good of looking like that? You're making it so hard.” Her voice broke in a sob. “And it's not my fault if Nicko simply
won't
have you here. But he won't—he won't hear of it. He says I can give you half the money—he's awfully generous; but he says you must promise not to come here or even to write. Look here, I'll meet you in town and tell you all about it. But you must go now—you really must.”

“Yes, I'm going,” said Anne. She spoke in a colourless, gentle voice. She was looking in Jenny's direction, but she did not really see her. She seemed to herself to be looking into a mist. Jenny was somewhere in the mist, but she couldn't see her or reach her. She knew that she must go. Someone—yes, Jenny—had told her that she must go. And there was something about a train—she had to catch a train and go away into that outer darkness. She turned and began to grope her way slowly and stiffly along the wall of holly until she came to the opening through which she and Jenny had come.

CHAPTER XII

John Waveney had spent a very pleasant morning. He found himself liking his cousin Jenny a good deal. She certainly had a most charming gift for making each of her guests feel that he or she was an integral part of a delightful whole.

John was sorry that the pleasant week-end was over and that the evening would see him back in town. But both Jenny and Nicholas had bidden him come again and come often. “You mustn't forget you're a cousin, John—and I haven't a lot of cousins like some people have.” This was Jenny. And Nicholas Marr had nodded and said, “No, we're rather poor in relations, both of us—pretty nearly destitute, in fact.” And there he stopped suddenly, and as suddenly frowned.