Anything Could Happen (5 page)

“That was really nice of you,” said Austin, unable to keep from smiling.

“Guy,” said Uncle Bodie. “Austin was wondering if all your guests tonight were gay.”

“Most of them,” he replied. “Dave over there in the corner is straight—or
says
he is. He was lighting for
Magnolias
.” He nodded toward a tall African-American gentleman who seemed to be holding court over a few listeners in the small dining room. “Why, you got your eye on someone? You want to make sure he’s a PNB?”

“PNB?” Austin asked.

“Come on. You’re a Dolly Parton fan. PNB. Potential New Boyfriend.”

“No,” sputtered Austin through a mouthful of beer.

“Don’t spit it out,” said Guy. “That’s alcohol abuse.”

Austin coughed a moment and then replied, “That’s not it at all. It’s just….” He felt his heart begin to speed up again. “If they are… it’s so….”

“All those men,” Uncle Bodie sighed. “Gay. Just like me….”

“Ahhh,” cried Guy. “I get it. Your first time in a room full of gay men.”

Austin nodded. Felt his palms grow damp.

“My God, those were the days,” Guy replied. “That first time looking around a room and knowing you’re not alone anymore.”

Suddenly Austin had tears in his eyes. “Yes,” he whispered, “it’s real and I’m not alone.”

“And you never will be again,” said his uncle.

“It seems like forever ago,” Guy said.

“Tell me about it,” said Uncle Bodie.

“I managed to sneak into a gay bar when I was nineteen,” Guy said. “It was a weeknight, but it was still busy. I remember looking around that bar and….” Guy let out a long, slow breath. “I knew for the first time in my life it wasn’t just me. I was in a room full of men
just
like me. We were all some kind of—”

“Family,” interjected Uncle Bodie.

“Family,” Austin repeated quietly. That was it. Family.

“I didn’t have to worry if I was caught staring at some cute guy,” Guy continued. “Or checking out his ass. And maybe, just maybe, I’d get to dance. And I did. Oh, I did.”

Austin turned to him, found Guy, his mouth, right there, close enough to kiss. God. To kiss another man. He’d kissed Joan—and hadn’t that crapped up everything?—but what would it be like to kiss another man? Would it be different? A stirring in his groin told him it would be. He looked at Guy’s full lips. What would they be like? Soft? Strong?

Why can’t you be Todd, dammit?

Guy’s lips parted slightly, and the pink tip of his tongue slipped out enough, just quickly enough, to wet them and then disappear. “Want me to introduce you?” he asked.

“Huh?”

“Want me to introduce you around?”

“Oh. Oh, sure.” Austin swallowed hard.

“I’ll start with my friend Tommy over there. He’s only here for a few minutes because he’s in that show at The Male Box tonight.”

Guy took Austin to the man with the blue wig. Up close Austin saw his low-cut sequined gown revealed a pretty darned hairy chest. Between that and the goatee—painted blue to match or not—he wasn’t trying to pass himself off as a woman at all.

“Hey guys. This is my new neighbor Austin. He’s moved in with his uncle. Austin, this is Tommy—well, tonight he’s Dixie.”

“Hello,” said Tommy, aka Dixie, holding out a blue-opera-gloved hand.

“Hi,” Austin replied.

“And this is his boyfriend, Jude,” Guy said, indicating the handsome, bearlike man next to Tommy.

They shook hands as well.

Boyfriend
, thought Austin.
Imagine. They’re boyfriends. Boyfriends!
Would he ever have a boyfriend? Would it be Todd?

“Jude’s recently moved here from Chicago. He’s a writer too.”

“Plays?” Austin asked.

“Romance novels,” Jude answered.

“
Gay
romance novels,” Tommy added. “Do you read?”

“Well, plays mostly,” Austin replied.

“Austin’s an actor,” Guy explained.

“Oh, that’s nice,” Tommy said. “Did you see Guy’s
Steel Magnolias
?”

“Today,” Austin said.

“Isn’t it
fab
-ulous?” Tommy drawled.

“I liked it a lot.”

“I’m going to try and get Austin to audition for my next show,” Guy said matter-of-factly.

“You are?” Austin asked, startled.

“What
is
your next show?” asked Tommy.

“Douglas Holtz’s
Tearoom Tango
.”

Tearoom Tango
.
What could that be about?

“I think you’d be good as The Kid,” Guy continued.

“You do?” Austin asked.

“I do.” Guy grinned and laid a hand in the small of Austin’s back. It felt nice. Warm.

They stood and talked with the couple for five minutes or so until Tommy announced they had to leave. Couldn’t be late for work, after all. The show must go on. Jude promised to e-mail Austin one of his e-books.

“I’d love that,” Austin said.

“Okay,” said Guy. “See those two gorgeous guys over there?” He pointed discreetly and then, with a slight push, guided Austin in that direction. “They
claim
they’re not a couple,” Guy said, dropping his voice to a conspiratorial level. “In fact, the taller one says he’s straight, but you will never, ever meet a more married couple.”

He introduced Austin to Curtis and Gavin, and sure enough, the two were practically finishing each other’s sentences. In fact, they were the two who had been sharing cake with the same fork. Only a man who was very comfortable with his sexuality could take something in his mouth that had already been in the mouth of another man, Austin thought. They were both delightful, but they made Austin a little sad. They reminded him too much of him and Todd. He could see the love and longing in Gavin’s eyes. It looked painful to Austin, and he found himself wishing the two men would find some way to come together. Love was a rare thing and shouldn’t be wasted.

Then Guy introduced Austin and Bodie to the three men on the couch—Mark, Tony, and Grant—who were apparently together. “Together?” asked Austin.

“They’re a throuple,” Guy answered.

“Actually,” said Tony, “I hate that term. It sounds like throw up.”

“We like the standard ‘triad,’” said Mark.

Wow
, thought Austin.
Speaking of having something in your mouth that had already been in another man’s mouth.
It felt a little unfair, there being three of them. Here he was, single—there were lots of single people out there—and these guys needed more than one husband apiece? And how would such a dynamic work, anyway? Who slept with whom? Did they take turns? Did they all sleep together every night? Was it a mini orgy every time they made love? Despite the weirdness of it, though, as Austin thought about it, he saw how hot it could be. And besides, he’d get twice as much loving.

He noticed the one named Grant studying him, and for a second it was as if the man was reading his mind. Grant shrugged. “It works for us. I couldn’t possibly choose between them. Of course, they were together first, and I joined. They were always together for me, right from the beginning.”

Before he even realized it, Austin was sitting on the arm of the couch and chatting with them as if triads, or “throuples,” were the most ordinary thing in the world. The idea made him nervous, but after all, they seemed happy. And wasn’t that all
he
ever wanted? For people to let him be himself?

“Is everyone here together?” Austin asked Guy. “Are there any other
single
people here?”

“I thought you weren’t looking for a PNB.”

“I’m not.”

“Well…. You and I aren’t together.” Guy winked. He laughed and then, “Okay, okay. Yes, there are single people here. For instance. See him? That’s Dean, and he owns this fantastic little coffee shop….”

“W
AKEY
, wakey, Austin.”

Austin jumped what felt like a foot. “Wha-what?”

“You drifted off for a while, and we all just decided to let you sleep.”

Austin blinked around the room. Where was everybody? Was he the last one? There were Curtis and Gavin but—nope, they were leaving. And Uncle Bodie had left a good couple of hours ago.

“God, I’m sorry, Guy. Damn, I fell asleep at your party?”

“It wasn’t a party, exactly, and you were exhausted. Moving is a big deal. Besides, you looked really cute there snoring away.”

“Snoring?” Austin asked, horrified.

“Don’t worry,” Guy said, flopping down next to Austin on the couch. “Quiet.
Quiet
little snores. Like a puppy.”

Austin blushed furiously.

“Geez, Austin, you are so damn cute.” Guy placed a hand on Austin’s thigh. “And you don’t have a clue either, do you?”

Austin looked away.

“Look at me.”

Austin turned his head slowly, and there, once more, were those milk-chocolate eyes, making him feel like he might turn inside out. His heart sped up again. It had been doing that a lot the last couple of days. He tried to say something but found he couldn’t. Finally, he managed, “I had too many of those beers.”

“Did you like them?” Guy asked, leaning in closer.

“Yes.” Austin gulped.

“If you’re too drunk to drive, you can spend the night here.” Guy leaned in even closer.

“I-I live downstairs, remember?” Austin’s mouth was suddenly as dry as toast, even as he began to sweat once more.

Guy’s face was so near—it was kissing distance again. “Spend the night anyway.”

Austin felt a stirring in his pants, let his eyes drift closed, started to lean in himself, and… “No!” He sat back up. “Please, Guy. Don’t. I’m… I’m…. Todd. I’m….”

“Saving yourself?” Guy asked, sitting up himself.

Was that teasing Austin heard in Guy’s voice? A note of sarcasm?

“Oh my. You are, aren’t you? Saving yourself? Shit. You’re a virgin, aren’t you?”

Austin felt as if his face had caught on fire, and he hated it. “Not exactly.”

“You can’t
not exactly
be or not be a virgin,” Guy replied. “Have you had sex or not?”

“Kind of?”

“Kind of? Were there orgasms involved? Hard-ons? If so, you’ve had sex.”

“There was one orgasm,” Austin said looking down at the floor.

“Yours or his?”

Jeez, this man asked some personal questions. “You’re being awfully nosy, aren’t you?”

“Am I? I am, aren’t I? Sorry.”

There was a long pause. “His,” Austin said finally.

“His?”

“Orgasm. He came. And then he ran out.”

“Oh. Shit. That sucks.”

“I did. Suck. I sucked him off and then he ran out.”

“Oh. That—well, I was gonna say ‘blows.’ Sorry again. Fuck.”

Austin felt his eyes grow wet.
Don’t cry
, he told himself. “It was awful,” Austin said.

“The blowjob?”

“Oh God, no.” Austin turned back to Guy. “No. That was awesome. It was one of the most incredible things that’s ever happened to me. I never felt so alive. So right. And his… his….” Did he say “cock?” For some reason the word seemed to degrade Todd. “His erection. It was perfect. I’d seen Todd naked before. Hell, when we were little kids, we’d take baths together and stand up in the tub and wave them at each other. But we never
did
anything. I’ve heard even straight guys mess around with their buddies when they’re young. But not us. Until that night. We were working out, and we were all sweaty, and I’d never been more turned on in my life. Suddenly, I knew I had to have him. I couldn’t wait any longer. I’d fantasized about us finally declaring our love for each other, but in that moment, it was all about the sex. I put on some porn I got from my cousin Jimmy and seduced Todd. We were sitting there holding each other’s dicks, and it was all I could do not to cum. Then I did it. I sucked his cock, and he came in my mouth, and, oh my God! I was afraid I wouldn’t like it but…. Oh. I. Did. He kept cumming and I kept swallowing and then… when he finished….”

“He ran out on you.”

“He ran out on me.”

There was another long silence. Then Austin buried his face in his upturned palms. “Oh God. Oh God, oh God, oh God. I can’t believe I told you that.”

“It’s okay, Austin.”

Austin looked up. “It’s not okay! It’s horrible. It’s
all
horrible! If I had just kept my goddamned hands to myself, Todd would still be there in Buckman. So would I. And it might be—what do you call it? Unrequited love? But I would still have him. And he would still be there.”

“And you’d be happy with that?” Guy asked.

“Happier than I am without him.”

“Do you think Gavin feels that way about Curtis?” Guy asked, referring to the
not
-couple Austin had met earlier that night. To the man who was in love with a man he couldn’t have. “Do you think he’s happy loving Curtis from the sidelines? What if he’d just take a chance and do what you did? Everyone knows Curtis is gay. Everyone but him. If Gavin gave him a blowjob, I’ll bet anything they’d be married inside a week.”

Austin shook his head. “No, it’s not the same.”

“You don’t know that. Maybe—”

“I
know
,” Austin yelled. “Because of what I did next with Joan….”

“Who’s Joan?” Guy asked.

Austin rubbed his eyes, trying to hold back tears. “Todd’s girlfriend.”

“Okay,” said Guy. “Back up. Todd has a girlfriend?”

“He did. Except I crapped that up too,” Austin said and then felt a tear slip down his face anyway.

“Oh, come on. How did you do that?” Guy asked, disbelief in his voice.

“Because I fucked
her
,” Austin cried. “And Todd walked in on it. Stood there watching. Joan and I were so busy, and she was making so much noise, we didn’t even hear him come in. Didn’t know until we were done.”

“Shit. This just keeps getting worse,” said Guy.

“It was awful. First he runs out on something I thought was the most exciting thing that ever happened to me. And I was afraid to call him. Afraid he hated me. That we weren’t friends anymore.” Tears began to flow unchecked. He swiped at them. “Then I started getting mad. How
dare
he, I thought. How dare he run out on me?”