Anytime Soon (21 page)

Jeff called my cell every day. I didn't take his calls, and I instantly deleted his messages without listening to them. I didn't want to hear anything, and I didn't want to read anything. I couldn't deal with it. It had only been a few days since I'd last seen him, but it felt like weeks.

One day, out of the blue, Professor Klein called me back and asked if I could do a phone interview right then and there. I was unprepared, but I agreed, not wanting to interfere with any potential job opportunities. I was in a temporary slump, but I needed a job. There was no denying that. Soon after my phone interview, I was offered the teaching assistant job.

When I finally began reaching out to the real world again, I called Octavia. I asked her to pack my things from my desk and bring them to me.

“What's happened?” she asked, curious.

“Let's just say I have an emergency in my family. Tell everyone that, will you, please? Has anyone asked any questions?”

“Only Jeff. He seems concerned. Why don't you at least call him? He did hire you. You don't wanna burn any bridges.”

Oh, Octavia, if you only knew.

My feelings changed from day to day, but that particular day I felt that Jeff really loved me, and that I needed to see him. That last time we were together, I felt passion from him that he could not have faked.

I spent the next few weeks trying to finish the last of my final exams. I couldn't remember a single question on any of them, and I prayed that I had passed. My mind was foggy, and focus was far from within my reach. I did the best I could. I thought about Jeff every single day, but I still resisted the urge to call him.

I don't care what Aunt Marie says, or anybody else says. Maybe
it's not right, and maybe both of us should have known better.

A few weeks after finals, I attended my graduation ceremony. Jeff was the keynote speaker. I saw him from a distance after the ceremony, but I didn't make eye contact. I knew he wouldn't approach me in front of my parents. I received well wishes from other staff members from the faculty offices. Life was so simple when I worked there. It's amazing what one harmless decision can do to your entire life.

After the ceremony, I went directly home to find half of my family in the backyard, munching on the appetizers Mom had made the night before. Aunt Deb had let everyone in. The university had given the graduates only four tickets per family, so I had given mine to Mom, Roscoe, Ava, and Aunt Marie. Mom hurried to the kitchen as soon as we walked in.

“I hope Deb didn't mess anything up,” she said.

Aunt Marie and I followed her to the kitchen. When I walked through the door, Aunt Deb rushed up and gave me a big hug.

“Oh, Ny,” she said, “your lunar cycle's in high gear. You're approaching your new moon, and I'm so proud of you!”

She hugged me hard. I loved Aunt Deb, but sometimes I had no idea what she was talking about.

“Hush with all that cosmic nonsense,” Mom told Deb, as she looked in her pots and put on her apron. “Did you stir the greens like I asked?”

“Yes, I did,” Aunt Deb said, and then turned back to me.

“You're gonna be very successful. The stars are all lined up for you, sweetie.”

“Well, she comes from a line of successful people,” Aunt Marie said.

“Merle,” Mom said, deliberately changing the subject, “can you peel those potatoes for me?”

“Peel potatoes? I'm not peeling any potatoes in this dress. I'll get Amber in here to do that.”

“What, you too good to peel potatoes, Merle?” Mom shot back.

“In this dress, absolutely, I am,” Aunt Marie smirked.

“You're not too good to eat 'em, though,” Mom pointed out.

Aunt Marie spun around and walked out of the kitchen.

I'm outta here before Mom asks me to peel the potatoes.

As I headed to the backyard, I passed Amber, who was on her way in. She smiled at me and gave me a big hug.

“Congratulations,” she offered.

“Thank you,” I replied.

“Diva!” Catie called, walking over to me. As she gave me a hug, she handed me a little gift bag.

“Thanks, Catie,” I smiled.

“I'm proud of you,” she gushed. “You always were the brain of the group. And I was always the beauty.”

I hugged her again just as Sophie came up to us.

“Well, it's about time,” she chided me.

“I'm so happy to see you,” I said in her ear as I hugged her tightly. She squeezed me back.

“I wouldn't miss this for the world,” she said.

I looked around and saw that Uncle Riley, Miss Troy, Uncle Allen, and some other people were all smiling in my direction. One by one, they came up, said a few sweet words, and pressed a gift or a card into my hands.

It was nice to see everyone, especially Catie and Sophie.

“So, what are you gonna do now?” Sophie asked me, picking up a finger sandwich from the table as we sat down and talked.

“I'm not really sure yet,” I said, knowing that wasn't entirely the truth.

“Well, that's fine,” Uncle Riley said. “You'll figure it out soon enough.”

“Yes, she will,” Roscoe added. “And if she doesn't, she has time to think about it. It's not what you do with your talents, but the time you use developing them. You have to crawl before you walk.”

Everyone looked totally confused.

“I'll probably substitute teach for a little while, Uncle Riley,” I explained. “I like working with kids, and there's no long-term commitment.”

“Be selective about which school you choose,” Miss Troy boomed in her scary baritone. “Some of those schools are rough, and those kids will disrespect you.”

From the corner of my eye, I could see Sophie giving Troy a funny look before picking up another sandwich.

“If they don't listen,” Catie advised, “just clock them bad kids in the head.”

Everybody laughed.

“Nah, don't do that,” Uncle Riley said. “Then we'll have to be bailing you out of jail.”

“I can't picture Ny in jail,” Troy said.

“Neither can I,” said Catie.

“No,” Roscoe piped in, sitting up in his seat, as if he needed to provide wise words for the occasion. “She won't be in no jail. She has strong values. They won't allow her to get into trouble. See, there are choices and consequences in life. And when you make certain choices, there are consequences to pay. And when you pay, the price ain't cheap. You have to be strong in your judgment, strong in your faith, and strong in your steps.”

Roscoe sat back in his seat as if he had just delivered the Sermon on the Mount.

Catie opened her mouth to say something, paused, and then closed it. There were simply no words.

At that moment, Mom came out, followed by Aunt Deb.

“The food is about ready,” Mom announced. “But before y'all eat, I just wanna take a minute to tell Anaya how proud I am of her.”

She walked over and stood next to me. Everyone looked on.

“Anaya, you have turned out to be a beautiful young woman, and I couldn't be a prouder mama. You have grown so much, and this phase of your life is over. There's a whole world out there, waiting for you to make your mark, and I know you'll do just that. You always inspire me to do better, to think a little bit different, and to try and grow. I love that about you. You don't just go with the flow, you use your own mind and your own instincts. I learn things from you every day. I know you are moving on and will be leaving us soon, and I will miss you more than you can ever possibly know. We are all so proud of you, and I know Andrew is celebrating right along with us. Roscoe and I can't be with you every step of the way, but we hope to make your journey a little bit easier.”

I wiped tears from my eyes as she pulled out an envelope from her apron pocket and handed it to me.

I looked at the envelope and then back at her. She nodded for me to open it.

I looked around the yard quickly. Everyone looked as curious as I was.

When I opened the envelope, in it there was a cashier's check for twenty-five thousand dollars.

“Mom!” I gasped.

“What is it?” Ava asked.

I gave my mom a big hug.

“Thank you! How did you—?”

“We hope it helps,” she said, hugging me long and hard.

I held on to her for dear life.

“What is it?” Ava repeated.

“Yeah,” Catie prompted. “What is it?”

I looked at Mom. She wiped her face and gave me a look that said it was okay to tell them.

“A check for twenty-five thousand dollars!”

“Damn, bitch!” Catie said loudly.

Everyone turned to look at her. She quickly covered her mouth with her hands.

“Sorry,” she said, sitting down.

Mom and Aunt Marie gave her a dirty look.

“Sorry!” she said again, sinking down lower in her seat.

After that, we all ate and talked late into the night. Some of my classmates dropped in, and we hung out.

Antoine also came by. He said sincerely, “I wanted to come through and offer my congrats. Mom couldn't make it, but she told me to give you this.” He handed me a card.

“Thank you,” I said. “Tell your mom I said thank you, too.”

Catie and Sophie came over and hugged him. I eyeballed Catie, thinking she was going to say something stupid again.

“That was nice of you, Antoine,” she said, giving him a small smile.

Huh?

Antoine smiled back.

Huh?

He spoke to Uncle Riley and to my parents, and then he said goodbye. I saw him talking to Catie by the door before he left. I made a mental note to ask Catie what that was all about.

By the time everyone was finally gone, I was exhausted.

When I got to my room that night, I looked at my phone. I purposely hadn't come in to check it all evening.

Jeff had sent me a text message. I decided to read this one:

YOU LOOKED BEAUTIFUL TODAY. CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENT. PLEASE ACCEPT MY CALLS. WE NEED TO TALK.

The next day, I changed my cell number. I was emotionally drained, and I couldn't tolerate a conversation with Jeff. My family still had no idea about Jeff, and I felt bad about not telling them. It was too late, though, to tell them now. I especially didn't want to tell Mom. She hadn't been herself lately. I was worried about her. She said she was going through “the change.” I wasn't so sure that this was just menopause, though.

THIRTEEN

C
atie and Sophie were already seated when I met them for dinner at one of our favorite restaurants. I finally had told them about my new job, and we had decided to get together for a little farewell dinner. Before I even had a chance to hang my purse on the back of my chair, Catie started in on me.

“So, what are you running from?” she asked pointedly.

I opened my mouth to speak, but she put her hand in the air to stop me.

“The
truth
,” she emphasized.

There were varying versions of the truth. There was the truth-truth, the half-truth, or the partial-truth. Lately, I'd been giving only snippet-truths, so I decided to tell my two deserving best friends the complete truth. I opened my mouth to speak, and tears welled up in my eyes.

“Wow,” Catie said, motioning for our waitress. “Here we go with the tears.”

“Three lemon drops,” she told the waitress.

“Two,” Sophie corrected her. “And one lemonade.”

“Right,” Catie said. “
Two
lemon drops, and one lemonade for my sober acquaintance here.”

Through my tears, I looked at Sophie and smiled, relieved. She was trying to stay sober, and I was proud of her.

Both Catie and I had finished our lemon drops by the time I finished telling them about Jeff. Sophie looked intrigued, but I couldn't read Catie. Her cheeks were red, and her eyebrows kept wrinkling up.

“What does all of this have to do with you leaving?” she asked impatiently.

“She's in love with him,” Sophie said, assessing me with a calm and knowing look.

Catie, shocked, said, “Is that true?”

I nodded yes.

“So then why in the world are you moving a hundred miles away?” she asked, incredulous.

“It's not a hundred miles,” I rolled my eyes.

She didn't reply.

“It's too much,” I explained. “I love him, so I don't want to be around. I don't want to bump into him or have the urge to go and see him. I need to get away and start over.”

“Start over?” Catie's voice rose. “Start over and do what? You find a man you love. A good man, who loves you, who has a good job. This makes you want to leave and start over? That's some backward-ass shit.”

“What do you mean?” I asked sincerely.

“I mean, you naïve little twit, that you love him and he loves you. What's wrong with that? Why are you fighting it?”

“Because he's married, with a family,” Sophie interjected. “That seems like a reasonable cause to me.”

“Shut the hell up, Sophie. Marriage doesn't mean anything. People get married and divorced all the time. Ny didn't cause his marriage to break up. He and his wife caused their marriage to break up. Ny just came and picked up the pieces,” Catie said, signaling the waitress again.

“You are evil,” Sophie said. “She cannot date a married man.

That's wrong. You know that's wrong, Ny, don't you?”

“Yes,” I said dumbly.

“Then leave him alone,” Sophie said, buttering a piece of bread.

“Well,” Catie said, looking genuinely confused, “be stupid if you want to. And good luck finding another man you love this much. That kind of love isn't just stored around. It's hard to find.”

“He's married!” Sophie said again, a little too loudly. I looked around, but no one seemed to have heard her.

“And?” Catie asked.