Apache Heart (11 page)

             
“Whoa…that’s unbelievable.”

             
“Yeah, like I’m the only nurse at the hospital who is properly trained to do a rape kit.  And we have to beg to have them in stock.  And the rate of conviction for someone who rapes an Indian is less than half of what it is for a white or black woman in the US.  It always involves some confusion about whether it’s under Federal or tribal jurisdiction—or some crap like that,” Lozen spat the words as she mixed up the dough for her fry bread.

             
“I—I had no idea, Lozen.”

             
“So this gets us to the story of Lee and Elan and Maggie.”

             
“Okay, I guess…let’s hear it.”

             
Lozen started flouring pieces of a rabbit that she’s already dressed and cut up, preparing to cook it while her bread dough rested.  “Well, when Elan came back from med school, he and Maggie became an item.  She’d been in a few dead end jobs, and Elan encouraged her to enroll at the community college. She worked part-time at the casino as a dealer to help pay for school.  Her plan was to transfer to the university to finish up her teaching degree after getting a bunch of basic requirements out of the way.  She wanted to come back and teach here on the rez.”

             
“And then something terrible happened,” Randi said.

             
Lozen nodded as she put the rabbit over into a hot, cast-iron skillet.  “So one night, Elan was supposed to pick her up from work, it was late when she got off, maybe two in the morning.  But there was a bad car wreck that night, and we had three people hit our little ER all at once, and Elan completely forgot about picking Maggie up.” 

             
Randi had a horrible feeling about where the story was going.

             
“Earlier in the night, there was a guy from Albuquerque playing blackjack at Maggie’s table and when he started losing badly, he accused her of cheating him, and called her all kinds of racist names.  There were witnesses who confirmed that, and the casino security footage shows him yelling and making a scene.  Security escorted him out, and an hour later, Maggie finished her shift and went outside to meet Elan.  Except Elan wasn’t there and this guy jumped her. He forced her at gunpoint to go around to a dark corner at the back of the casino and he raped her over the hood of his car.”

             
Randi covered her mouth, feeling sick at the thought of what that must have done to Maggie—and to Elan. 

             
Lozen poked at the rabbit with a fork, “So you can imagine how Elan felt.”

             
“And Lee blamed Elan for not being there to pick up Maggie.”

             
Lozen nodded,  “Elan was at the hospital when Lee brought Maggie in. She’d gone home and showered like a lot of rape victims, and to make bad matters worse, we didn’t have any rape kits.  I tried to collect evidence, we took pictures and all that, but it wasn’t enough to stand up in court.”

             
“And that’s when Lee decided to take matters into his own hands.”

             
“Yeah.”  Lozen rolled dough into balls for her fry bread.  “So in those days, Lee was like a lot of young men, he occasionally got liquored up on a Saturday night, but he wasn’t what I would call a problem drinker.  But Maggie was pretty shattered when the DA told her their wasn’t enough evidence to bring her rapist to trial, that it would be her word against a wealthy white guy.  He said the guy’s fancy lawyer was claiming that it was rough, consensual sex and didn’t she just want to get on with her life?  That’s when Lee started hitting the bottle hard. And about a month later, he tracked the rapist down in Albuquerque and beat the living crap out of him.”

             
“Oh my god, Lozen, he deserved that beating—he ruined three people’s lives with what he did.”

             
“Justice and being lawful are two different things.  Fortunately Lee’s judge knew about Maggie’s case and was sympathetic.  He said there were mitigating circumstances, extreme emotional disturbance, and he encouraged a plea bargain, and that’s why Lee only served a year.  He could have gotten five to fifteen—especially with a jury in Albuquerque.  All the same, he has a felony on his record.  A lot of the white people in Rio Blanco who don’t know him think he’s an animal, but here on the rez, he’s kind of a hero.  Especially since he stopped drinking.”

             
Now Lynette’s comment made sense, Randi thought.  “So where is Maggie in all this?  How did she end up with Joe?”

             
“Maggie dropped out of school.  She was really depressed and withdrawn, and Lee going to jail didn’t help.  Elan kind of fell apart, although I’ve never gotten the sense that Maggie blames him the way Lee does.  At any rate, their relationship disintegrated, and Elan buried himself in work.  After some time, Maggie did some afterschool babysitting for a white family in Rio Blanco that owns a construction company.  Joe worked for the husband as a roofer, and somehow she met him through them.  Joe was good looking and charming—like a lot of sociopaths—and he used her shame against her, convinced her that he was the only man in the world that wouldn’t mind that she was ‘damaged goods.’  Then once they were married, his true colors started to show—the gambling, the drinking, the rages, and the beatings.  But I guess Maggie doesn’t think she has any other choices.  He’ll go along for a while promising that he is cleaning up his act, but then it’s always right back to the same old shit.”  Lozen sighed.  “Joe doesn’t want to let Maggie go, because then he’d lose tribal benefits.” 

             
“Lose benefits?  Why?”

             
“He wasn’t born on the rez, and he can’t really prove his family lineage.  Joe probably has a little sliver of Apache, and maybe a little Navaho, but the rest is just Heinz 57 mutt. Maggie is his meal ticket.  No Maggie, no free money.”

             
“And when he has a kid, there will be more benefits, right?”  Randi was starting to see how Joe operated.

             
“Exactly.”  The hot oil sputtered as Lozen threw in some dough.  “That son of a bitch probably poked holes in his condoms, or put sugar pills in her birth control dispenser.  I don’t think Maggie would have gotten pregnant on purpose.”

             
“Joe said the weirdest thing to me, though, he said he wasn’t sure that it was his baby.”

             
“I sure don’t know who else’s it would be,” Lozen said with a shrug.

             
“Can I speak to you confidentially, woman to woman?  Because I really need a girlfriend, right now.”

             
Lozen looked up from the stove to Randi, “Yes, of course.” 

             
The front door opened and closed with a whack, and Lozen’s husband came into the kitchen with a broad smile.  He was average height, solid looking with an open, weathered face.  His black hair was parted on the side and he pushed his bangs back with one hand, “Smells good in here!”  He turned to Randi, “So you must be Dr. Bitch!” he teased.

             
“Yep, that’s me!”  Randi smiled. 

             
Lozen shook her cooking tongs at her husband with a mock scowl, “Be nice!  Randi, this joker is my husband,.”

             
“Pleased to meet you,” Randi said.

             
“I’m pleased to meet anyone who can put up with my wife,” he winked at Randi.

             
“How was work today, dear?”  Lozen said, batting her eyelashes playfully.  She looked at Randi and joked, “See?  I can be a good wife.”  They all laughed, and Randi liked that they felt comfortable enough with her to be cutting up.  Lozen gestured with her tongs, “Jack is head of grounds and maintenance over at the resort.”

             
“How do you put up with all those golfers?”  Randi rolled her eyes.

             
Jack tore off a piece of hot fry bread and popped it his mouth, “You know, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.  I’ve got a good long game, but my putting sucks.” 

             
A short while later, Randi was sitting down with the family at the dinner table.  She had to admit that she was enjoying the atmosphere, the company, and the distraction, but she did want to talk to Lozen about Lee and Elan.  But for the moment, there was nothing to do but enjoy the feast in front of her.  In addition to the fry bread and the rabbit, Lozen had made a succotash of fresh corn and beans, and there were sliced, garden tomatoes. Randi realized it was the first time in days she had an appetite.

             
“Oh my god, this is so good,” Randi said, as she swallowed another bite.  “My mom taught me this French recipe for rabbit…in mustard sauce.  I’d love to make it for you all some time, except I’d need a rabbit!”

             
“We’ve got a few in the freezer,” Jack said, “We’d be happy to donate to the cause!”

             
Randi put her fork down, “Thank you for making me feel so welcome.  Sitting here with a family…” Randi started to choke up a little, “I guess I’ve been a little homesick and I didn’t even know it.”

             
Lozen smiled, “This thing with Joe—it’s stressful, Randi.  Everybody needs friends to lean on.  We know you’re trying to do right by the community here.  We get that.”

             
They finished up the meal and Jack took the girls outside to inspect their garden weeding.  Their chattering and laughter drifted in through the open windows as Randi helped Lozen clear the table. 

             
“You have a wonderful family.  I hope someday I’ll have that in my life, too,” Randi said a bit wistfully.

             
“You’re a good person, a strong person.  You need someone who is as good and strong as you are—that might take a little time, but the right man will come along.”  Lozen looked at her family through the little window over her kitchen sink and smiled, “I used to think I got lucky, but now I think maybe you make your own luck.”

             
Randi glanced at the clock on Lozen’s stove, “It’s getting late. I should probably get going so you guys can settle in for the night.”

             
“There was something you wanted to tell me, before Jack came in.  We’re on summer hours around here.  The girls won’t go to bed until ten.  Let’s go sit on the porch.”

             
“Are you sure?  I—I don’t want to be a bother,” but Randi felt relieved to get things off her chest

             
“You’re not a bother.”

             
Lozen settled into a plastic patio chair as Randi flopped down beside her.  “I’ve got man problems.”

             
“You mean romantic problems?” 

             
Randi sighed, “I know, I’ve barely been here any time at all, it doesn’t seem possible that I’ve gotten myself into a tangle.  But it’s mixed up with the Joe and Maggie stuff too.”

             
“Is it Elan?” Lozen asked.

             
“Yeah, it’s Elan.  How’d you know?”

             
“I can see the way he looks at you, not exactly a boss’ interest in his employee.”

             
“Crap, is it that obvious?”  Randi slumped.

             
“Probably not to everyone, but I’ve known Elan a long time.  So you’re worried because he’s your supervisor?” 

             
“You bet I’m worried.  I’ve put the brakes on it, because frankly, I’m going to be in a world of hurt with my med school loans if something screws up with this job and I don’t get my loans forgiven.”

             
Lozen nodded, “But you like him?”

             
“I’m definitely attracted to him, that’s a fact, but it’s more complicated than that.”  She stared at a puff of dust in the distance that signaled a vehicle making its way up the road.  “There’s also something going on with me and Lee.”

             
“Can I be nosy?” Lozen gave Randi a gentle smile.  “Have you slept with either of them?” 

             
Randi shook her head, “Nope, but it got really close with both of them.  The thing with Elan is—I’m the right age, we’ve got a lot in common, we like each other, we’re attracted to one another—it if weren’t for him being my boss, it would seem like a perfect match.  Except, I think Elan still loves Maggie, and he’s doing what he thinks he needs to do to move on with his life.”

             
“I see.”  Lozen was like a good psychologist, listening without interjecting her own opinions.

             
Randi twirled a piece of her hair around a finger as she talked.  “But this thing with Lee—it’s really powerful.  But maybe it’s because I’m scared about Joe, and maybe it’s because he’s scared to drink.  And maybe there’s a part of me that’s afraid he has a violent streak that might return.  Not that I think he would ever hit me, but he might get himself in trouble again.”