Arbiter (The Arbiter Chronicles Book 1) (15 page)

She shook her head slightly, in an attempt to clear those thoughts.

“…Done with your game already?” she asked.

He shrugged, then winced as the motion made his injuries hurt again. She watched as he rubbed his shoulder lightly, slowly lowering himself into a sitting position in front of them. “…They were trying to get me to play one more game, but if I keep it up, they’ll trick me out of the clothes on my back.”

He offered a hand to Mika. “I’m Cathel Alvain. It’s good to see you awake.”

“Ah, yeah.” Mika took his hand and shook it. “…Mikaela James. Mika for short. Nice to meet you.”

“You too,” said Cathel, releasing her hand. He turned back to Rae. “Now, like I was saying,” he said. “Start from the beginning. I’d like to hear this too…”

Rae frowned, about to protest. The image of Cathel lying on the ground stopped her again. He had almost died for her cause. If anyone deserved the full story, he did. She took a deep breath, lowering her eyes to the ground as she spoke. “I’ve been seeing the Reaper my whole life,” she began. “At least as far back as I can remember.”

She left out the finer details of her past, painting instead a broad, general picture. She told them about how the Reaper had haunted her as a child—how she could track his movements and see the people that he targeted next. She told them how Nate had been shot trying to protect her—and here she had to stop and go into a detailed discussion with Cathel about what exactly a gun was—and told them about the Reaper’s bargain. This far, it was all familiar territory for Cathel. The part about the blond man she included for Mika’s sake, but she didn’t miss the thoughtful expression on Cathel’s face as she told Mika about the man’s words.  She explained about Alcian, and the Decadal Series, and for the first time, she explained about the Arbiter. When she was finished, no one spoke, the three of them simply staring at each other.

Rae didn’t know how much time had passed. She felt drained—emotionally and almost physically. She couldn’t remember the last time she had spoken so much at one time, the last time she had revealed so much about herself to another person. They stared at each other then, Mika wearing an expression of shock and slight fear on her face and Cathel watching her with a thoughtful expression.

“…So what you’re saying is the Reaper’s going to kill both you and my brother if you don’t find this Shard in a year,” said Mika after a while.

“That’s right,” said Rae, nodding once.

“…But if you do give him this Shard, he’ll become really strong and probably go on to destroy everything in this world.”

“We don’t know what he’ll do,” corrected Rae. The words were half-hearted. It had been thirteen years since the first time she had seen the Reaper. In thirteen years, she had a bit of an insight into what kind of person he was. If he felt wronged by the Twilight Realm, and had ultimate power in his hands…

It made her sick just to think about it. But if she didn’t find the Shard, he would come here anyway, and she and Nate would both be dead…

“So are you gonna fight him, then?” asked Mika.

“I don’t know…” said Rae, hugging her arms close to herself as she looked away. “I don’t think I can.”

“What do you mean?” asked Mika, her eyes widening as she turned towards Rae. “That’s what this whole thing is about, right? That’s why you’re grabbing these Decadal—things of ultimate power or whatever they are…”

Rae shook her head. “I don't know.”

“But—,” began Mika.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Cathel reach forward, tapping Mika lightly on the wrist. The girl pouted at Cathel, but nodded once, turning back towards Rae. She took a deep breath. “…So we’re going, then?” she asked. “We’re going to head towards this Spire thingy?”

“We are not doing anything,” said Rae sharply, looking up at Mika. “Cathel and I—.”

“Oh, so what, you’re just going to leave me here?” asked Mika, interrupting her. “Yeah, that sounds real safe.”

“She does have a point, Rae,” said Cathel, glancing at her. Rae folded her arms across her chest and met Cathel’s eyes. The mage’s green eyes were serious, and he held her gaze.

“…You’ve got to be kidding me,” she said after a while, glaring at Cathel. “She’s what—fourteen?”

“I’m sixteen, thank you very much!” interjected Mika.

“I don’t like it either, but are we really seeing a better option here?” asked Cathel. “Mika’s right. We can’t leave her. This village may be safe for now, but it’s only a matter of time until something happens again, and we can’t impose her on the High Lord.”

Rae scowled, letting out a frustrated sigh. He was right, of course. She couldn’t leave Mika, and she didn’t know the first thing about sending Mika back. And at the moment, it wasn’t like anywhere in the Edgelands was safe. “…Fine,” she said. “Fine, you’re right. But the first chance we get—as soon as we can find some Ivali that knows how to do it—you are going straight home.”

“Whatever,” said Mika with a shrug. Rae took that as teenager-speak for ‘I don’t agree with you, but I’ll argue with you later.’ She opened her eyes to make her point clear, but Cathel spoke, interrupting her before she could say anything.

“I was thinking of leaving tomorrow,” he said. “Now that Mika’s awake.”

Rae stared at him. He’d been healing at an amazing rate, thanks to his magic, but she knew for a fact that he wasn’t one hundred percent cured yet. “You sure about that?”

“I’ll be fine,” said Cathel. “We might be a little slow for the first few days, but moving slowly is better than not moving at all.” He reached into his pocket, pulling out the map that Alcian had given them and spreading it out on the ground between them. “Here’s where we are,” he said, pointing at the deep woods just outside Alcian’s palace. Alcian’s lands were more detailed than anything else on the map, and with good reason. “…We’re still firmly in High Lord Alcian’s lands. The Spire is over here, to the north.” He traced a line with his finger from their current location to the Spire’s. “If we head straight there now, we could reach it before autumn even starts, but…”

“High Lords,” said Rae, noticing the different parcels of land that Cathel’s direct route had bypassed.

“And Dark Lords,” said Cathel, tentatively pressing his finger to some of the lands Alcian had marked as potentially safe. “But I'm not sure we should deal with those until we're a little better prepared. So I was thinking we could head here.” The mage paused, tapping a mountain pass that had been marked on the map. “Through the pass and into the Shadow Queen’s lands.”

The Shadow Queen. Alcian’s sister.

Mika looked up. “Shadow Queen? Aren’t the High Lord’s supposed to be the good guys? That’s kind of a dark name…”

“Good guys is a bit of a strong term,” said Rae, watching as Cathel folded up the map. “But from what I understand, the High Court is less likely to kill us on sight.”

“Right,” said Cathel, nodding once. “I have nothing but the utmost respect for High Lord Alcian, but…we can’t assume that every High Lord we come across is going to be benevolent.”

“How long do you think it will take to get through the pass?” asked Rae.

“…I’d say three days,” said Cathel. “Weather permitting. We aren’t too far from High Lord Alcian’s boundary.”

“Three days…” Rae thought it over. It wasn't much, but given how much time was going by, it felt like it. “…Let’s not waste any more time.”

“Agreed,” said Cathel, pocketing the map. He slowly got to his feet, grimacing in pain once as he stood up. “We should all get some rest. I’ll talk to our hosts and see what they can lend us in the way of supplies.”

“Right,” said Rae, getting up as well. She turned towards Mika. “You should eat,” she said. “And rest. Tomorrow’s going to be a little rough for you.”

“Don’t worry,” said Mika, grinning. “I do track, so I should be just fine.”

Rae sighed as Mika got up, deciding not to correct her. She would find out soon enough, and right now she just wanted to think, to be by herself for a moment or two. She walked off, ignoring the look on Cathel’s face as he turned towards her.

“Where are you headed?” asked Cathel.

“…Bath,” she said, grabbing her pack and slinging it over her shoulder. “I’ll be back before it gets too dark.”

She could feel his eyes on her as she walked away. He, at least, had the good grace to say nothing.

Rae sank deeper into the pond, slowly exhaling as she closed her eyes. The pond was in a secluded area of the woods, far enough away from the Ivali village that she didn’t anticipate being interrupted, but close enough that she was still under the Ivali’ protection. She dipped her head under the water, running her fingers lightly through her hair in an attempt to get some of the dirt out. Varra had given her soap for the journey, and an herbal alchemical concoction that seemed like this world’s equivalent of shampoo, but she didn’t want to waste it, not sure what she would do once it ran out. She knew from listening to Cathel and some of the village Ivali that some of the Ivali lived in something close to human civilization, but they were further away from the Safelands and she wasn’t sure how long it would take to reach there.

Rae sighed, wrapping her arms around herself as she surfaced and leaning back against one of the rocks that lined the pool. She closed her eyes, but she could still see the images burned into her mind—Cathel, then Nate, then all the other people who had died because they had made the mistake of getting to her. Her aunt and uncle. Hallie. The image of her face came back to her mind, her blue eyes staring up at Rae, unseeing.

Even in death, even at the foot of the building she had thrown herself from, her middle school friend had been beautiful.

It had all started with Hallie.

No, that wasn't right. It started elsewhere, further back. Somewhere more personal.

She was eight years old again, standing in the hallway with wide eyes as the Reaper stood over her parents’ prone forms. His scythe gleamed in the dim light of the room as he turned towards her, his dark eyes unreadable. He stared at her, and took a step towards her slowly. And she took a step back and screamed and screamed and screamed...

“Hey, you out here?”

Rae’s eyes snapped open at the sound of the voice, and she quickly sank deeper into the water. She disentangled her fingers from her hair, keeping her arms wrapped around herself as she frantically studied the trees that encircled the pool. “Don’t you dare come any closer,” she said, making sure the stone behind her was hiding her from view.

There was a pause, and she heard the sound of rustling leaves. “Relax,” said Cathel. “I can’t see anything. And my back is turned.”

She checked, peeking out from over the top of the rock. Sure enough, Cathel stood a few feet away from the clearing, his back turned towards her. She scowled, settling back down.

“What do you want?”

“The Ivali sent me to call you,” replied Cathel. “Apparently it’ll be dark soon, and the forest isn’t safe as night.”

Rae kept her eyes fixed on the surface of the pond. “...I'll be back soon. Go on without me.”

Cathel paused, and although Rae couldn’t see his face, she could practically hear the frown in his voice when he spoke again. “I’ll wait a little further up,” he said. “We can walk back together. I don’t know what might be out there.”

“Just go,” said Rae, tilting her head up to look at the sky through the trees. “It’s the full moon tonight. I think I’ll be able to handle anything that comes my way.”

“Not if they cut you off from your Source, like the sprites did,” replied Cathel. “You might have a Decadal Spell, but you’re still not as strong as you can be. And you’re not the expendable one here.”

Expendable…

The word brought back the rush of memories, and Rae closed her eyes against the intensity of it. Her shoulders began to tremble, her hands shaking as she tightened her grip on her arms.

So many of them, dead because of her…

Dead…dead and dying…

She squeezed her eyes shut, her fingers curling inward as she clenched her fists tightly, slamming them down hard on her thighs. “Don’t say that!” she cried. “Don’t fucking say that! You can’t die! I can’t lose someone else…not again. I’m not strong enough…”

I’m not…

Hot tears gathered behind her eyes. Rae took a shaky breath, cupping her hands in front of herself and splashing water on her face in an attempt to chase them away.

Silence followed her outburst. For a long while, Cathel said nothing. Her heart thudded in her chest, and she didn’t dare turn around to look for him. for a moment, she thought she had run, that he had finally given up and left her.

He should go, she thought, fixing her eyes on a point in front of her as she tried to calm herself down. He should run as fast as she can. He should leave her out here, both him and Mika. They should both leave her to die…

But she didn’t want him to. She didn’t want Cathel to leave, because if he did, she would be alone.

I am despicable…

One of her fists clenched tighter, and she could feel her nails beginning to dig into her palm.

I am…

“If you want to make sure I don’t die…” began Cathel, his voice bringing her back to her senses again. He spoke slowly and cautiously, the way one might speak to a frightened animal or to a small child. “…then you shouldn’t make me walk back alone. Come on. Get out of there and get your clothes on. We’ll walk back together.”

Rae hesitated, taking another breath. She listened for the sound of footsteps, the rustling of leaves, anything to tell her that Cathel had given up on her and was going on ahead. She heard nothing.

Slowly, she rose from the water.

#

She dressed quickly.

Cathel was standing there when she emerged from the woods, her sodden black hair slung over one shoulder. True to his word, his back was turned, and he leaned against a tree, his arms folded and a contemplative look on his face. He didn’t turn to look until she was right next to him, close enough that he could see her out of the corner of his eye. Rae lowered her eyes as he turned towards her, embarrassed from her earlier outburst. She felt like a child that had just thrown a tantrum and was now waiting to be scolded for it. But Cathel said nothing on the subject, instead straightening up.

“Ready to go?” 

At her nod, the two of them set off on the walk back to the village. They walked in tense silence, Cathel’s eyes fixed on the path in front of them and one of his hands in his pocket. She walked a little bit behind Cathel, her hands clasped in front of her and her eyes on the ground.

It was Cathel who broke the silence, once they had gone far enough away from the spring. “…Have you heard of book burnings before?” he asked.

Rae frowned at the randomness of the question, looking up at him. “Yes,” she said. “...Historically. They're a form of censorship, or protest.”

Cathel nodded once. She looked away from him, pretending to study the plant life that grew at the edges of the path. “What about it?” she finally asked.

“…There was a movement a few years ago,” said Cathel. “It spread across the entire northern region…People in the villages started all the books that painted the Ivali in a positive light, or studied them academically. It was particularly bad in my hometown.”

“Why?” asked Rae.

“My hometown was very superstitious. The books were considered deceptive and evil. Some of my own books wound up in the fire too.”

She looked up, interested in spite of herself. He wasn’t looking at her. His eyes were fixed on the path, his expression thoughtful. She recognized the look on his face, recognized that he was lost in memory. “…Your books?”

He nodded. “Yeah…I had a book of Ivali stories. My father had a field guide, one that examined the Ivali academically. That was burned too.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “…In fairness to my hometown, the Edgelands nearest it were lands belonging to a Dark Lord—and not one of the more benevolent ones. So they were probably in the right. Any Ivali they would have encountered was likely to be malevolent…”

He paused as they reached a difficult part of the path, climbing over a fallen log and jumping down the other side. He held out a hand to her as she climbed over the top, and she took it hesitantly, letting him help her down. His hand lingered on hers for a moment before he let go, her hand falling loosely to her side.

“…But?” she prompted, when they had gone a few steps.

“But I didn’t agree,” said Cathel. “…Obviously. I was six at the time, and I firmly believed that the Ivali were not all evil. My mother taught me that herself.”

“So what did you do?” asked Rae.

“I became a mage,” Cathel responded. “…I thought that if I was a mage, I would be able to enter the Borderlands. I’d be able to see the Ivali for myself, and prove once and for all that there was more to them than simply evil. So I enrolled in Carane Tower, the one closest to my hometown, and I completed my apprenticeship there.”

He fell silent. Rae waited for a while, thinking there might be more to the story. When he said nothing else, she turned towards him.

“…Why did you tell me that?” she asked.

Cathel shrugged. “It’s only fair. You told me a part of your past…so I thought I should tell you the same. It’s not quite the Thief of Souls running around killing everyone I ever loved, but…it’s not something I like to remember either…”

“It explains a little about you,” said Rae without thinking. She looked away, wishing that she could take the words back as Cathel paused, glancing back at her.

“How so?”

She shook her head. “Just…well, one of the things I noticed about you was that you didn’t seem afraid of the Ivali.”

Cathel looked away. “They do scare me.” His voice was quiet. “They scare me all the time. I’m forever reminded that there’s a gap between me and then, that I had to learn magic, but to them it’s as easy as breathing. They’re dangerous. They could kill me in a heartbeat. I know these things, and it’s terrifying, but…”

He took in a breath. “…It’s like watching fire…It’s beautiful…but you know that if you touch it, you’ll burn. And that’s terrifying, but it’s…enthralling at the same time. You can’t look away. And you don’t want to. You’re drawn to it, even though you know it will burn…”

Rae stared. Cathel wasn’t looking at her—Rae wasn’t entirely sure that he still knew she was there. Instead, he was looking straight ahead of him, his eyes fixed on the road ahead. But the expression on his face, the look in his eye, and the utter…conviction in his voice. She didn’t know what to make of it, this feeling that left a painful tightness in her chest. It seemed as though all of Cathel had been laid bare in front of her then, like for one moment, she could see into the heart of him.

And what she saw there took her breath away…

Like watching fire…

…Beautiful, enthralling…

…But it will burn…

He shook his head, lowering his eyes. The far-off expression on his face left, and he looked as though he had finally returned to the present. “…Does that make me strange?” he asked.

“…No,” said Rae quickly, shaking her head as she looked away. “…No, not to me.”

“You’re the same…” he said quietly. She looked up, surprised.

“What?”

He gave her a faint smile, tilting his head slightly towards her. “There’s something…something slightly fey about you,” he said. “Even from before you learned the Decadal Spell. I know you’re dangerous, but for some reason…”

He shook his head. “…I can’t look away.”

Rae stared at Cathel, stopping in her tracks. They had reached the village now, and the mage did not stop walking, moving quietly through what passed for the village’s main street.

She watched him go, her eyes wide as his words rang through her head, over and over again.

That night, Rae lay awake in bed, listening to Mika’s quiet breathing from the roll of blankets next to her. She stared up at the roof of leaves above her head, taking deep breaths as she tried to calm herself down from the dream she had had.

It had been of the Reaper.

The past few nights, ever since she saved Mika, all her dreams had been about him.

This time, it seemed to be a fragment of memory—her, in the hospital room, with beeping sounds all around her and bright, flashing lights over the distance, and him, looming over her, his eyes boring straight into her soul, chilling her to the bone.

She took a deep breath, grabbing her blankets tightly around herself and turning over on her side as she tried to go back to sleep.