Are You Smarter Than A Flying Gator? (5 page)

As Gator Mikey flew back toward the workshop, he sang his theme song enthusiastically:

I'm nothin' but a gator,

Flyin' all the time,

I'm nothin' but a gator

Flyin' all the time,

I'm promoting history and geography,

And you can all be friends of mine!

As Gator Mikey was singing, the most incredible thing happened. Maybe it was the song; maybe it was the singing voice; maybe it was a combination of the two. Suddenly, thousands and thousands of love bugs began flying toward Gator Mikey from all directions. As the people on the ground watched in complete shock, swarms of love bugs landed on every square inch of Gator Mikey, totally covering him in no time at all.

“Oh,
No!”

“They're going to hurt Gator Mikey!”

“The love bugs are smothering Gator Mikey!”

“Can't we help him?”

“What can we do?”

Before anyone could utter another word, a huge
ZAP
of electricity flashed all around Gator Mikey.
Immediately, the entire massive mound of love bugs fell to the water like some strange black snow falling from the sky.

The next moment Gator Mikey turned and began flying north—away from Siesta Key—away from Prez's workshop!

“This is Heidi Godman from ABC-7 News in Sarasota. We're interrupting our regularly scheduled program to bring you this breaking news. For the past hour, I've been here with our news crew filming the sailboat races out on Sarasota Bay. Five minutes ago, we witnessed a most incredible sight. A huge blue, orange, and green alligator flew over Sarasota Bay directly toward us. After that, it flew right over us, then over that bank building there.

“Our cameraman, Hines Ward, was able to capture the whole thing on film. We'll show that unbelievable footage to you right now.

“You're getting a look at the alligator spaceship as it flew toward us. Incredibly, it made almost no sounds that you might expect from a flying aircraft like that.

“As you can see, the gator's jaws were opening and closing as it was flying, and its tail was moving back and forth. I'm estimating the gator flew over us at a speed of 60 miles per hour. It eventually flew
over that bank building before it flew out of sight, apparently headed in the direction of Tampa Bay.

“The unusual sight got quite a reaction from the thousands of people here watching the sailboat races, but at this time we have no idea who the gator belongs to or where it's going. I can promise you ABC-7 News will look into it and keep you informed as more information comes in to us. For now, this is Heidi Godman reporting live from down at the Bayfront in Sarasota.”

Within 20 minutes, all four major television stations in the Tampa-St. Petersburg area got word from the people at ABC-7 that a flying gator was headed their way. Until the Tampa newspeople saw the actual footage from Sarasota, however, they thought someone was playing a practical joke on them.

The TV stations' helicopters were in the air almost immediately. Less than fifteen minutes later, the Sky Fox 13 pilot was first to spot the gator aircraft approaching from the south.

Pilot Randy Powers described what he saw. “I thought I'd seen just about everything here in Florida, but this just might beat them all! We've got a gator
traveling at a speed just under 100 miles per hour now headed north northeast. Our friends at ABC-7 in Sarasota first reported seeing this thing less than 30 minutes ago and, frankly, we thought they were joking. At this point we have no other information. We see no company logo anywhere on the gator. It's impossible to ignore the blue and orange colors on the aircraft, though. Is it possible the University of Florida has something to do with this? I don't have to remind anyone around here that blue and orange are the school colors of that university and the gator is the school mascot. I know they have an engineering department up there in Gainesville, but I don't think they design aircraft.”

Governor Charlie Trust was swimming laps in his pool in Tallahassee, Florida, when he got a phone call from his chief of staff. He got out of the pool and answered the phone.

“Yes, George?”

“Governor, I thought you should know. We've got a big gator flying north over Tampa right now at an altitude of about 200 feet and a speed of approximately 100 miles per hour.”

“You're joking, right?”

“No, it's on just about every TV network in America.”

“Call Homeland Security, the National Guard, and the FAA immediately. I want a briefing in my office in 20 minutes.”

The President of the United States was enjoying a relaxing day of fishing near Estes Park, Colorado. One of his Secret Service agents took a call. He walked out into the stream where the President was fishing.

“Mr. President, we have a situation. There's a flying alligator spaceship thing that just flew near McDill Air Force Base in Tampa. No one seems to know anything about the aircraft.”

“You're serious?”

“Very serious, Sir. It's apparently on every television network.”

“Why does so much of the really weird stuff seem to happen in Florida?”

“Uh ... I'm not sure, Mr. President. Anyway, that's not all, Sir. There have been some preliminary reports out of Sarasota that the flying alligator talks ... and it sounds just like
you.
”

“Like
me?
”

“Yes, like you ... uh ... there's one more thing you should know.”

“You mean there's more?”

“Yes, Mr. President. Apparently the gator sings like Elvis.”

“Get the Vice President on the line—and see if we can get a TV out here. This is something I've got to see.”

By this time, Prez's dad had contacted some of his friends in the government to explain the situation. In the meantime, Prez called Heidi Godman at ABC-7 to hopefully get the true story out to the news media.

Towards the end of the interview, Heidi asked, “Prez, what exactly do you think attracted all those love bugs to Gator Mikey?”

“I'm guessing it was the frequency of the sound he was emitting while singing the song.”

“It was an Elvis song, right?”

“Yes, the song was essentially ‘Hound Dog' with different lyrics.”

“As I understand it, Gator Mikey emitted a huge bolt of electricity that killed all the bugs, but it also destroyed something else.”

“That's right, Heidi. As far as we can tell, we no longer have control of where Gator Mikey goes. All of his other functions seem to be working just fine.”

“What are you and your Sarabiskota friends doing right now?”

“We're all trying to fix the control problem. We're also following everything on television and watching the great video coming from the two cameras on Gator Mikey's eyes.”

“You're getting video from cameras on Gator Mikey's eyes?”

“Yes, we can control where those cameras point and they have powerful zoom lenses, so we can get some fantastic views.”

“Is there any way you can transfer that video link to us and we can share it with the other TV stations who want it?”

“Sure. When we're done with this interview, you can connect me to one of the engineers at your station ...”

By 12:45 p.m., Gator Mikey was approaching Gainesville. By this time, eight helicopters were following Gator Mikey. Two F-16's could also be seen in the sky.

The University of Florida football team had just returned to campus. They were having a light scrimmage at The Swamp, the name given to their football stadium.

Gator Mikey suddenly dropped down to a low altitude and approached the football stadium followed by the eight helicopters. The coaches and football players looked up in the air and stared at the unbelievable sight.

“What the heck?” Head Coach Suburban Meyer uttered as he gazed up at the flying gator. A few seconds later, the coach dropped his clipboard when Gator Mikey started to speak in the President's voice as he circled the stadium.

“gainesville!
It's great to be in
gainesville!
Hi, I'm Gator Mikey! I'm here to promote the learning of history and geography in Florida. Try to answer this question if you can. I'll make it a multiple choice question to make it easier for you football players. Just kidding! You probably all know the answer to this question. Here goes!

“Gatorade was invented right here at the University of Florida by four researchers. Which NFL coach was the first to get a Gatorade dousing? Was it A, Bill Parcells; B, Don Shula; or C, Mike Holmgren? I'll repeat the question and give you ten seconds to try to pick the correct answer.”

Gator Mikey repeated the question. Then he sang some of the University of Florida's school song for ten seconds.

“OK. Time is up. I hope you picked the correct answer. It's A, Bill Parcells of the New York Giants. He got doused in 1985 by his defensive lineman, Jim Burt, after a win over the Washington Redskins.

“If you got the question correct, at the count of three, I want you to yell
I'm smarter than a flying gator!
1 ... 2 ...
3!
”

“I'm smarter than a flying gator!”
approximately one third of the football players and coaches yelled.

“Way to go! Now, I must be on my way! Guess where I'm going next? I'll give you a hint:
gator Mikey's Back Street!
”

Gator Mikey circled the stadium one more time, then gained altitude and started flying south as he sang the University of Florida school song in his Elvis voice:

On, brave old Flor-i-da,

Just keep on marching your way!

On, brave old Flor-i-da,

And we will cheer you on your play!

Rah! Rah! Rah! ...

“This is Sue Triska from NBC News in New York. It appears the whole world has now turned its attention to Florida and Gator Mikey. Right now you're looking at Gator Mikey flying over The Villages area in Central Florida. This live action is being captured by the crew on board the NBC News 8 helicopter from Tampa, one of the many helicopters and other aircraft following Gator Mikey at this time. The fabulous flying gator is currently flying in a south southeasterly direction at approximately 125 miles per hour at an altitude of 350 feet.

“And what exactly do we know about this Gator Mikey so far? We know he speaks in the President's voice, sings like Elvis, and asks multiple choice questions having to do with history and geography.

“We know Gator Mikey was the creation of some extremely smart teens from Sarasota and North Dakota who call themselves Sarabiskota. You might have heard of them before. They were the same teens who found that treasure worth millions of
dollars last year while looking for a lost sea captain.

“We also know Gator Mikey was supposed to be Sarabiskota's answer to Governor Charlie Trust's challenge to Florida teachers and kids. The last week of school, the governor challenged them to come up with projects to promote the learning of history and geography in the state.