Arena (30 page)

“I haven’t thought of where we can go. Perhaps Africa. The decurion Publius once told me the air was much more free there. I didn’t believe him. I do now. Of course,” I added bitterly, “I’ll be running away from my guilt, as well as from everything else.”

Acte took my hand in hers and kissed me gently again. “Cassius, why torture yourself? Can you undo what happened in the Circus and afterwards?”

“No. But I wish with all my heart I could.”

Acte made no reply. I think she knew, as I did, that if we ever untangled the strands of our lives and found a place where we could live safely and content, I would still waken late at night, out of a dream of flames, and wonder whether I had mocked some unseen god once too often.

Wonder whether that god had made me the instrument of his wrath that terrible night when the fire began.

“Do you really think it’s unsafe for us to stay in this house, Cassius?”

“Safety is one question, desire another. What Syrax tried to do — what he worked so long and hard to perfect, with the Emperor’s blessing — well, if that’s the kind of thing Rome stands for now, and condones, I want none of it.”

Her brow wrinkled in puzzlement. “What do you mean?”

Astonished, I said, “Don’t you remember what happened?”

“When? At the Circus?”

“Yes.”

“I remember Tigellinus throwing me on the ground. And some sort of animal whinnying. That’s all. Did it have something to do with those awful rags they wrapped around me when they took me from Tigellinus’ house? I asked a guard about the purpose of the rags. He laughed.”

Grateful relief swept over me. “Yes, Acte. Something to do with that.”

“Tell me what.”

I shook my head. “If you have things to forget, I do also.” I changed the subject. “Our chief worry now is leaving Rome. I’m reasonably sure you’re well enough to travel, though I don’t want to risk taking you to a physician to find out. We must move rapidly, yet slowly too. We mustn’t arouse anyone’s suspicion. We’ll make our plans and then one night simply disappear.

After that we — Why are you smiling?”

“Because, my darling, I am well. Well enough to travel. Well enough to — to wish for —”

Lout that I am, it took me a moment to understand. But not much longer.

I was fearful of hurting her. But there was hunger in her, as if after all her pain she must find release. Soon we lay together on the couch, the lamp wick out.

Her body was cool and white in the dim reflection of the dying fires, and the bruises did not show. Her breasts were sweet to my tongue, and her lips sweeter. I put my arms around her and possessed her, fully and deeply. She brought me succor from loneliness and despair.

Page 106

Later, she drifted off to sleep, smiling to herself.

I remained tense and awake, gazing at the fire patterns on the ceiling.

Tigellinus was murdered.

I had done the deed.

Was there anyone left alive who knew?

|Go to Table of Contents |

THE EVENTSof the following days only strengthened my desire to escape from Rome. It became freshly clear that the Emperor’s chief claim to fame lay in the depth of his deceit. And the one joy of the populace had become the practice of public cruelty.

In the wake of the widespread rumors that Nero was responsible for the fire — a fable no sane person believed — scores of slaves and courtiers testified to his presence at Antium on the night in question. The blame was laid on the peculiar Christian sect. Nero denounced the cult in high-pitched screams one morning in the Senate.

By nightfall mass arrests were underway. Groups of Christians were harried through the streets on their way to the courts, pelted with rocks and animal dung by outraged citizens.

The persecution was absurd. Whatever the worth of their beliefs, if the Christians as a group resembled the man Paulus at all, it should have been apparent that wholesale arson was not a method they would choose to cleanse Rome of its alleged wickedness. Yet scapegoats had to be found.

Women and even young children were hauled before magistrates and ordered to burn incense to Nero’s genius. When they refused, prison was their lot, followed by a series of hastily arranged games at the Circus of Nero. The Christians were thrust unarmed into the arena to face packs of lions and leopards while the crowd jeered.

Though I had in no way become a convert to even a fraction of their beliefs, yet I respected the courage of the Christians. While the rabble ran this way, then that, following each shift of the political wind off the Palatine, the Christians remained steadfast. I remembered that once I too had danced — and gladly — to whatever crazy tune the Princeps chose to play on his lute. The glow of torches burning at night over Nero’s Circus across the Tiber depressed me.

While the city’s attention was focused on daily outbursts against the cultists, I was able to move here and there about the city virtually unnoticed. I set my three servants free after gaining their promise that they would leave Rome instantly. I visited the Cassian School, which had escaped damage, and put on a show of grief over the loss of my partner. It was assumed he’d died like so many others in the fire.

I told the lanista Ramor that after a suitable period of mourning, I would return and try to put the school’s affairs in order. Meantime, he would be in charge. He was pleased. He would have been overjoyed, I suspect, had I told him that within days, he would find himself the owner by default of the entire establishment.

At the House of Probi I discreetly withdrew enough cash from my accounts to take Acte and me to Africa and maintain us for a few months. To withdraw more, I felt, would immediately excite suspicion. Of the sharp-eyed clerk who had been in Syrax’s pay I saw nothing. Perhaps he was another who had perished in the burning.

In a seedy shop in the Field of Mars, near the acres of ramshackle huts where the fire refugees lived, I arranged for passage for two persons out of Ostia to Iol Caesaria. I told the pox-cheeked man who handled matters that I was taking a certain married lady away from her husband. Thus my name, which I never gave, and hers, must be protected.

The man laughed and winked in lewd sympathy. Adultery was another subject for fun these days.

When I called on him again, he had obtained accommodations on a grain galley leaving Ostia in seven days.

“Seven days!” Acte exclaimed, hugging me. “It’ll seem like a lifetime. But once it’s over —”

“We shall finally be free,” I finished.

Page 107

We were in the barred chamber, the only room in the house we used, apart from the scullery.

The windows elsewhere were shuttered. Cobwebs gathered everywhere. The quiet unnerved me a little.

“I wish we were leaving tonight. I want to be gone from here so badly, my mind invents a hundred different circumstances that will stop us.”

Acte smiled and kissed me. “Nothing will stop us, my darling. I feel it.”

I held her tightly and told her I hoped this was so. But even when I slept that night, I had wild nightmares in which the shade of Tigellinus rose from the place of the dead to accuse me of murder.

At sunrise there was a loud hammering on the gate. Acte and I waited tensely, hoping it was some tradesman who would go away.

The hammering continued.

Acte’s eyes grew fearful. I picked up the sword I kept beside the bed. With false confidence I told her, “Wearing this old tunic, I can pass for a household slave. I’ll send whoever it is away.” I slid off the gold ring of my eques rank as I left the room.

In the pale first light, a grumpy Imperial herald waited on the doorstep. I rubbed my eyes and mumbled, “Who’s rousing a decent household at this ungodly hour?”

“Watch your tongue, slave. And put that sword away. I’m one of three hundred emissaries sent from the Palatine with a proclamation for every eques in Rome.”

From under his cloak he produced a heavy scroll adorned with wax seals impressed with the Imperial eagles. “This is the home of —” He consulted the scroll. “— Splendidi Cassius Flamma, is it not?”

“That’s correct. But my master has gone to the seashore for a holiday.”

“Then you’d better send someone to fetch him. Four days hence, the annual summer review of the equites is to be held in the Forum.”

I blinked and feigned stupidity. “How can that be? It was canceled by Imperial order while the fire still raged. I thought the Emperor had dispensed with all ceremonies and rituals because of the chaos in the city.”

The herald’s eyes narrowed. “For a slave you’re certainly conversant with many things.”

Hastily I backtracked. “Oh, that’s because I’m my master’s steward.”

“If so, make certain your master is present for the review. The Emperor has also scheduled a new series of games in his Circus immediately following the parade. Details are being posted on theActa Diurna this morning.”

His rough face assumed a more tolerant cast. In spite of his splendid attire, he was a slave like I was supposed to be.

“If you want my opinion, friend, I think Nero decided to schedule the parade and these special games to take people’s minds off the nasty stories circulating about who started the fire. Well, be sure to pass along the news. The Emperor wants every last eques in attendance, as always. Now I must be off. Let’s see, who’s next on my list?”

He hurried away down the street. I shut the gate with a cold and heavy hand.

When I told Acte the news, she didn’t seem disturbed.

“We’ll simply have to leave for Ostia early. Wait there rather than here until the ship sails.”

I shook my head. “Impossible.”

“Oh, Cassius, no.”

“Yes. I must arrange for a horse and ride in the review.”

“Why? Among several thousands, you’ll never be missed.”

“Perhaps. On the other hand, the chief marshal of the parade carefully checks off each eques’

name. Not to appear would draw attention to me. If I go I’ll be just another face, but my name will be checked off.”

As I gathered her into my arms I felt her faint trembling. Indeed, I was a little uneasy too. But I tried not to show it.

Page 108

“Two or three hours and I’ll be done. I can slip away immediately after the parade and join you in Ostia. No one will notice the absence of Cassius Flamma once the review’s over, perhaps not for months. Hush, now. No arguments. And no tears.”

“I suppose I am being silly, Cassius.” She wiped her eyes. “But so many things came between us for so long. I’m afraid something else may —”

“Nothing will happen,” I assured her. “Beyond my making certain we’ll be safer than ever once we’re on that ship.”

“Then let me stay with you. Wait for you here during the review.”

“No.”

“I’ll watch from the Forum then.”

“No. It’s better you go to Ostia. Some of the less savory elements make a practice of breaking into large houses like this one when the city turns out for the parade. And if you went to the Forum, that would be just the time you’d meet some slave from Tigellinus’ house. I’d rather have you settled safely at the port. I’ll arrange for quarters at an inn. You’ll be well protected, I promise.”

“I see what you mean. But I think you’re being overly cautious.”

“Acte, a man is not careless with the treasure he prizes most. He guards it against any eventuality. That’s one lesson I’ve learned from harsh experience.”

My words broke her resistance, and she came into my arms eagerly.

Later that day I put on a cloak and went out again. At nightfall a hired litter arrived for her.

The bearers had been led to believe she was some cuckolded noble’s wife I was spiriting away. I had dressed her in an expensive stola and many gaudy, if relatively worthless, baubles. Quarters had been secured in Ostia by the same seedy criminal who booked our passage. I’d paid him well. I had no worry that he would betray me, turn my imitation Senator’s wife over to wharf thieves to be robbed. In fact I’d made a point of promising that I would search him out and personally wring his neck in such an event.

In the dusky evening light, with torches blowing in the windy street, I took leave of the woman I loved.

“Be careful, darling,” she said as she held my hand from the litter.

“There’s nothing to worry about, sweetest.” I made the fatuous remark loudly, as though I’d been drinking. “Your stupid husband will never even suspect what’s happened.”

The litter bearers exchanged sly glances and promptly forgot the whole affair. I kissed Acte on the mouth. Her cheek was cold. She smiled, but without heart. The curtains dropped into place.

The bearers trotted off down the street, linkboys before and behind, torches flickering. I returned to the empty house.

As the day of the review approached I visited a leading stable to rent my horse. A holiday mood prevailed in the city, despite the ruin left by the fire. On the appointed morning, the parade assembled on the lower slopes of the Palatine.

The high marshal checked off my name without so much as a blink. Trumpets rang. Timbrels thudded. The highest equites, those whose titles were the most ancient, set off toward the Forum riding six abreast. Their ivory togas shone in the bright sunlight. Gems sparkled and ostrich plumes danced on the manes of their mounts.

My place was far back in the procession, on the right-hand side of the rank of six. Luck was with me. The Emperor’s podium was erected on our left.

I barely had a glimpse of him as we cantered past, togas whipping in the wind. The Forum rang with the cheers of the hundreds of thousands who jammed every corner to watch. Nero’s flushed face was turned toward his painted Empress. Then my horse was past. I was astonished that it had been so quick and simple.

“Cassius Flamma!”

High-pitched and angry, the voice rang out again.

“Cassius Flamma!”

Page 109

“Ho, that’s you, isn’t it?” said the spindly old knight riding alongside me.

“Someone must have called from the crowd,” I began, chilled. “The Emperor wouldn’t —”

“But he’s standing!” the old man whispered. “Rein up, you fool. Rein up quickly.”