Arian (30 page)

He was infuriatingly slow with his meal but at last he put down his knife and fork. ‘I had decided already that you should open your own emporium, that you should sell boots and shoes from a variety of sources which it would be your place to find. What I don’t want is you thinking small; selling stock just supplied by William Davies isn’t good enough, you must approach the big concerns as well. I told you I could present you with a new future if only you would give me the chance, didn’t I?’

‘It has nothing new about it,’ Arian said slowly. ‘It’s an idea that has been used by Emily Miller and by Hari Grenfell, both of them talented ladies in their own right.’

‘It will be a fresh departure for you, a fine opportunity. Are you afraid of the competition?’ Gerald asked bluntly. ‘Will you give up before you have begun?’

‘No,’ some of Arian’s old spirit returned, ‘I am not afraid of anything about the scheme but neither will I take on something that I feel is doomed to failure.’

‘What do you suggest then?’ Gerald leaned back in his chair. She knew that he was testing her, wanting to learn how committed she was to succeeding in business which meant, inevitably, remaining with him.

‘On my rounds in Clydach, I thought about the future quite a lot, had plenty of ideas, and one of them I think is very good indeed. If you are willing to fund me then I wish to start up an agency.’

Arian paused and seeing she had Gerald’s full attention continued speaking. ‘I’ll go to people’s homes demonstrating the kind of boots and shoes I want to sell. I will make up a catalogue of designs, of various styles so that the customer can choose what he or she wants without leaving the house.’

She stopped talking, her breath had left her as she suddenly realized how good her idea sounded put into words.

‘I would make some of the shoes myself,’ she continued. ‘I’m not brilliant but I am a good worker and I have learned a lot from my time with Eline. I
will
make a success of this, it’s something I can really believe in.’

‘Better idea than my own, I’ll admit. You have imagination and flair, you also have enthusiasm. I like that.’ He rose to his feet. ‘Shall we go to our bed, Mrs Simples? It’s high time.’

She tensed. She knew what his words meant, knew just what she had committed herself to. She looked at him for a long moment and then she rose to her feet.

In their room, he undressed unhurriedly and then, naked, slid beneath the sheets. He watched as she slowly removed her own clothing and then he held the sheets back for her to climb in beside him. He made no move in her direction and Arian realized he was not going to make matters easy for her – that was not his way, she had learned that lesson once.

She lay rigid for a moment then turned towards him and put her arm around his shoulder. ‘I’m ready,’ she whispered and Gerald stretched and sighed in the darkness.

‘Well I am not,’ he said. ‘I am not a machine any more than you are.’

Reluctantly, she began to caress him. She closed her eyes as he began to touch her, his fingers familiar with her body. She suppressed a sigh, dreading his passion. But then, didn’t most wives feel exactly the same thing? How many women loved their men? How many wives sighed over the chore of submitting to their menfolk between the sheets?

He seemed to rise above her and then he was pressing her back against the bed. He slipped his hands beneath her, pressing her close to him as though he might penetrate into her very soul.

She longed to push him away from her, to cry out in protest but she did none of those things. She had sold herself to him, sold herself for the price of a business. Catering to Gerald’s needs was a part of that life; the bargain was made and she would not shrink from doing her duty.

Fon O’Conner set the table for her visitors with a strange premonition that nothing was as it seemed. She’d been pleased when she’d heard from Arian – pleased, if rather surprised, to know that she was married. Her husband, Fon assumed, was a man of means. He’d set up a business in Arian’s name so he must be generous and very much in love with her.

Fon paused, her hand resting absently on the cutlery, straightening a fork without really seeing it. The feeling persisted that something was awry in Arian’s life. She knew Arian well enough to read between the lines of the carefully phrased letter, which was brief, explanatory in a practical way but there was no mention in it of love or happiness.

It was quiet in the kitchen, the children were in bed and the silence that settled like a mantle around Fon was refreshing in its rarity. Well, Arian would be here soon, and then Fon would know a little more.

She put her best plates on the pristine cloth and stood back to admire the table that she had made bright and welcoming. She was proud of the sparkling china and polished cutlery. It was her way of supporting Arian, making a good impression on that new husband of hers.

She heard footsteps outside and looked up with a smile as Jamie entered the room. He kissed her upturned mouth and held her close for a moment before sniffing appreciatively.

‘Something smells good.’ He took in the neat kitchen and well-laid table at a glance. ‘Sure and it’s a lot of trouble you’re going to, colleen, trying to impress Arian, is it?’

‘
Duw
, there’s soft you are.’ Fon smiled up at her husband, loving him more now than she did when she’d married him. ‘I don’t have to worry about Arian, she’s like a sister to me, you know that.’

‘Then it’s the husband you’ll be out to please, is that it?’ He put his arm around her waist. ‘I won’t have you making eyes at any man but me, remember.’

‘Shut up.’ Fon pushed him away playfully. ‘Fat chance I’d have of looking at anyone else with you around. A bossy, domineering man you are, mind.’

He drew her closer and kissed her mouth. ‘Well, I can say the same about you. Boss me something terrible, make my life a misery with your nagging. Still an’ all, you’re not a bad wife, sure I’ll grant you that.’

Fon put her hands on her hips. ‘Kind of you to throw in a good word.’

‘Don’t get uppity, though.’ Jamie touched her mouth with his fingertip. ‘There’s a little too much of the lip from you on times, but I’ll forgive you, cos you’re not slow when it comes to caring for your man.’

‘Fine to have such watery compliments from a man who’s supposed to love his wife to distraction.’ Fon shook back a stray lock of hair. ‘Can’t you think of any sweet words to whisper to me, Jamie?’

‘Well, I don’t have to put anything into words, not with you, colleen. You know when you’re well off. Won’t get a better husband than me this side of the Irish sea, not if you looked from now till doomsday.’

‘Well, I’ve got no intention of looking anywhere, so hush your nonsense and help me put the food on the table. Arian will be here at any minute now.’

‘There you go, bossing me again. Sometimes I think it’s a good hiding you need, my girl. Comes to something when a man can’t so much as be master in his own house.’

Fon rested her hand on her stomach. ‘Not master, eh? Then how come you filled me with child again so quickly after the last one?’ Happiness flared through her, a son she’d given him this time, a brother to Cathie.

‘Keep a woman well filled and poor shod and she’ll never leave you, that’s what they say.’ Jamie moved to the pantry and brought out a crispy loaf of bread.

Fon dreamed for a moment, watching him deftly cut thin slices from the loaf. She was enjoying the moment of intimacy between them, the banter, the carefree affection they shared. These moments were becoming all too few.

The house was becoming full of children, fine and healthy they were too. Patrick was the big boy now. He was not her own son but she loved him as dearly as if she’d given birth to him. And April, well April was sometimes a thorn in the flesh, not an O’Conner at all but trusted to Fon’s care, but was a dear child in spite of her tantrums. April, however difficult she could be, was part of the household.

‘We’ll have to build on to the farmhouse if this continues,’ she said softly.

Jamie put down the bread knife and took her into his arms, holding her close, his chin against the softness of her hair. ‘If you mean us having babies then building on is imperative. I have no intention of refraining from making love to you.’ He tipped her face up to his. ‘And if the result of that is you giving me fine sons and daughters, then I’m happy.’

Fon closed her eyes and pressed her head against Jamie’s chest, listening to the strong throb of his heart. She was so lucky that sometimes she was afraid something might happen to take all her joy away from her.

The gate at the end of the path clicked open and, reluctantly, Fon moved out of Jamie’s arms, patted down her apron and brushed back her hair.

‘They’re here,’ she said. ‘Now Jamie, be on your best behaviour, mind.’

Arian looked well, even to Fon’s critical eye. She was neatly dressed, her skin shone and her hair was as if alight with silver and gold. What a contrast, Fon thought, to the girl who used to wander barefoot in rags around the countryside.

‘Come here.’ She hugged Arian and kissed her cheek and then stood back shyly to be introduced to Arian’s husband.

Gerald Simples was handsome, there was no denying that. His manner was charming, open and friendly as he shook hands with first herself and then with Jamie, and yet Fon had her reservations – he was, perhaps a little too charming.

It seemed, however, that the two men had a great deal in common. Gerald Simples was knowledgeable about the land, asking all the right questions, interspersing intelligent comments whenever there was a silence.

In the flurry of serving the
cawl
, then the rich potato and beef roast Fon was not able to catch much of the conversation that flowed around the table but she was, covertly, able to study Arian closely. There was a droop about her mouth, a lack of light in her eyes that confirmed Fon’s feeling that Arian was not happy. But later, when the men took a turn in the garden in order to smoke, she and Arian would be able to talk. Then she might learn the truth about the sudden marriage.

‘So, tell me all about your business venture. I’m dying to hear what exactly you’re doing.’ Fon took her seat after serving a pudding of milk, rice and honey, glad that the meal had been a success, and happy that her obligations were over because now she could concentrate her attention on Arian. ‘Something to do with leather, I expect.’

It was Gerald Simples who replied. ‘My wife had this wonderful idea …’ He sounded as enthusiastic as a man in love with his wife should be and Fon wondered if she was misjudging him. ‘She has produced a catalogue – it’s brilliantly written. Arian really has a gift for words.’ He paused to smile at his wife. ‘Our distribution covers the entire Swansea area and some of the outlying villages advertising Arian’s own brand of boots and shoes.’

He smiled proudly. His gaze, meeting Fon’s, was open and enthusiastic and she felt herself warm to him.

‘So what you do is to take orders and then make bespoke shoes to any size, is that it?’

‘That’s right but it’s not all,’ Arian said quickly. ‘The customers are given time to pay, six weeks in all.’ Her excitement with the scheme shone in her eyes. ‘This gives the poorer families time to get the money together. That people with a few children are taking up the offer is not surprising but, happily, we’re also getting business from the rich.’ She made a wry face, ‘They like to hold on to their money as long as possible.’

‘My wife is an astute business woman, you see, as well as being an industrious worker.’ Gerald looked at his wife but Fon couldn’t help noticing Arian was avoiding direct contact with him, even going so far as to ignore him.

‘The idea seems to be working well but we need a bit more time yet to really get the scheme launched.’ Arian’s tone was brisk as though she’d talked enough about her business. She sat back in her chair, her hands resting on her lap like a prim child at a party.

‘That was a lovely meal, Fon. No wonder your husband looks so well. My compliments to you, you can cook for me any time.’

Fon rose to her feet. ‘You men can move to the garden if you want to smoke.’ She began to clear the dishes from the table and stacked them in an enamel bowl.

The men wandered outside, their voices muted on the evening air. Arian made a move towards the dishes but Fon shook her head.

‘I’ll do those later when I’ve boiled up plenty of hot water.’ She swept up the cloth and folded it away in the drawer and then, as there was nothing left to occupy her hands, she turned to face Arian.

‘Right now,’ she said, ‘there’s no-one here but me and you. Are you happy? That’s what I want to know.’

‘Happy enough,’ Arian said and it was clear she was reluctant to be drawn.

‘But you don’t love your husband.’ It was not a question, it was something that Fon knew instinctively.

‘No, I don’t love Gerald. I even left him once but he fetched me home again.’ She shrugged. ‘I can’t say in the end that I was unwilling, in a way I was ready to come home I couldn’t go on living the way I was. I was smothering, vegetating up in Clydach.’

‘And do you share anything with him?’ Fon was concerned. ‘I don’t mean to pry but you look so lost.’

Arian didn’t dissemble. ‘Oh, I sleep in his bed but there is no joy and no love in it.’

Fon reached out and took her hand. ‘Come on, sit down by the fire with me. Look love, you were ill treated by one man and it’ll take some time to get over it but it doesn’t mean they are all beasts. Gerald seems good to you. He really cares about you, I can tell, and love might grow if you give it time.’

‘Our marriage is only a bargain,’ Arian said flatly. ‘Gerald wants me, so he pays for me to live comfortably and is financing my business.’ She smiled wryly. ‘You see, I’m no better than the whore some folk have always believed me to be.’

‘Rubbish! You’re no whore. You have respectability, the chance to make something of yourself, don’t decry it.’ She paused. ‘Many women do not like their husbands to … to possess them, it is no strange thing in a marriage but women endure it for many reasons.’

‘You do not like Jamie to make love to you?’ Arian looked her full in the face and Fon smiled.