Arrest-Proof Yourself (37 page)

Drive slowly and reasonably. Do not screech the tires or speed away.

Simple, huh? Stay free, my friends. Stay free.

15

IF YOU LIE, THE COPS WILL PRY

T
he reason I so strongly advise you to make all reasonable efforts to avoid being stopped and questioned by police is that once you’re stopped, even if you’re completely innocent, you can commit crimes right in front of cops that can get you arrested. You can go from innocent to guilty in minutes by doing things that you don’t even realize are crimes.

The most common of these is lying. That’s right, lying to a police officer is a crime. It’s not a major crime, but it’s enough to get you busted, and it’s an excellent add-on charge. Remember, once a cop has stopped you, he doesn’t score a point unless he makes an arrest. By now you know you don’t want even a single arrest.

WHY LYING TO ORDINARY PEOPLE WORKS

When you lie to most people, it often works because ordinary people

assume that you are telling the truth

do not ask follow-up questions because to do so is rude

are busy and generally do not take time to verify what you say

Let’s take a hypothetical example of an ordinary lie, no doubt repeated a million times a day between a mother and a teen-aged son.

MOM:
Where’re you going, Joey?

JOEY:
I’m going to play ball with my buddies. (Mom doesn’t say anything more. Joey strolls out of the house with a little weed in his pocket.)

Now, in reality, Joey is not going to play ball. He’s going to sneak over to his girlfriend’s place, get high, and have some fun. As long as he actually does play ball now and then with his buddies, and is smart enough to wash off the lipstick, perfume, and dope smell before he comes home, he’s likely to get away with this little lie. His mother is busy, and she’s not going to drop what she’s doing and go to the baseball field or basketball court to verify this statement. Also, she doesn’t ask follow-up questions because this generates distrust and can start an argument.

WHY LYING TO COPS DOESN’T WORK

Lying to cops is more difficult because

cops
assume
that people will lie to them

cops always ask follow-up questions

cops have resources to verify what you say

cops don’t mind being rude and nosy because they’re paid and trained to be that way

the way cops ask questions will cause you to hesitate and give yourself away

cops are scary and will exert subtle and not-so-subtle psychological pressure while they question you

Let
^’
s take a typical street stop, and an interview with the same hypothetical teenaged guy as he walks down the street and attracts the attention of a police officer.

COP:
Hey, you. C’mere.

JOEY:
Huh?

COP:
You got some ID?

JOEY:
Uh, no.

COP:
What’s your name?

JOEY:
Uh, Fred.

COP:
What’s your last name, Fred?

JOEY:
Uh, Smith.

COP:
So where do you live,
Fred Smith
? It is
Fred Smith
, isn’t it?

JOEY:
Uh, yeah. Where do I live? Uh, 123 Main Street. Yeah.

COP:
(Writing all this down) Where’re you going, Fred?

JOEY:
Uh, I’m going to play ball with my buddies.

COP:
Where are you and your buddies playing ball today?

JOEY:
Uh, well, we play, uh, at Downtown Park.

COP:
Hold on a second. Stay right there.

JOEY:
OK.