Authors: Thomas Berger
And therefore she did, and then she asked when Sir Gawaine would marry her, and she seemed to grow even more ugly by the minute.
“We shall go now to the felonious Sir Gromer Somir Joure,” said Gawaine, “and if the answer you have provided be the correct one, and Excalibur is returned to King Arthur, then come to Camelot a fortnight hence and I shall marry you as promised.”
“Then I have your word as knight of the Round Table!” cried the hag.
“Indeed,” said Sir Gawaine, and then he said to King Arthur, “Uncle, come let us hie. Excalibur hath been gone too long from you.”
Now as they rode King Arthur said, “Gawaine, I thank thee for this sacrifice. Long have I wished thou wouldst marry, but never in this fashion, thou who couldst have had the most beautiful maid in Britain.”
But Sir Gawaine made an effort towards good cheer. “’Tis little enough, Uncle, and perhaps God would have me atone for mine old ways, when comeliness was all I sought in a woman. No doubt this mine intended wife hath a strength of soul, a richness of spirit, for doth not God distribute human gifts so as to maintain a balance in the world?”
“Surely she is virtuous,” said King Arthur, “and her wisdom must be remarkable, for she hath given us the answer to this question.”
“Well,” said Sir Gawaine, “let us determine whether it is indeed the correct one.”
And soon they reached the castle which Sir Gromer Somir Joure seemed to hold illegally (though we know that it actually belonged to Morgan la Fey and she had installed him there).
Now the wicked knight awaited them in the middle of the drawbridge, and he held Excalibur across his saddle.
“Hail, royal Arthur and noble Gawaine!” said he. “The time for answering the question is come at last. And if you have not the correct answer, King Arthur, then I shall strike off your head so that it will tumble into the moat and feed the serpents who live there.” And to stir their appetites he now flung a piece of meat into the water below and it soon boiled with writhing reptiles which had red eyes and yellow fangs.
Now there was nothing in the world more loathly to King Arthur than serpents, for they had figured in the nightmare he had suffered after bedding with his sister Margawse. And his other sister Morgan la Fey had divined this through her art of nigromancy, and she had put these snakes into the moat for just that reason.
“Then put thy question, sir knight,” said King Arthur, “and I shall try to answer it.”
“What do women most desire in this world?” asked Sir Gromer Somir Joure.
But King Arthur would not first give the answer provided by the hag, because if he did not use it, then Gawaine would not be forced to marry the repulsive creature. Rather he began by repeating the divers answers he had got from women, “To obey their husbands... to care for men,” &tc., and then he gave the answer he had got from male persons, “To be desirable to men,” but at each of the answers the wicked knight shook his head and he raised Excalibur ever higher, until finally it was high as he could lift it.
And then Sir Gromer Somir Joure said, “King Arthur, you may give but one more answer, and if it is as wrong as these (and I expect it to be) your head will feed the serpents. Therefore I ask you to remove your crown and give it me.”
And notwithstanding that he should have to marry the loathsome hag, Sir Gawaine prayed that her answer be the correct one.
“Nay, caitiff, do not be precipitate,” said King Arthur. “I shall keep my crown so long as I am king of Britain, even if that be for but one moment more. Now, repeat thy question.”
“What do women most desire in this world?”
cried Sir Gromer Somir Joure, this knight who might have been a fine man had not his detestable lust caused him to surrender to Morgan la Fey his self-command.
And King Arthur gave the answer which the hag had given him in exchange for Sir Gawaine’s promise to wed her: “What women most desire in this world is...
to rule over men.”
And with a terrible howl of chagrin Sir Gromer Somir Joure dropped Excalibur onto the drawbridge and he toppled from his saddle into the moat, where there was a terrible seething of the surface as the serpents tore all the flesh from his bones and the water turned bright red from his blood.
Then King Arthur took up his sword and he and Sir Gawaine voided this pestilent place.
“Well, dear Gawaine,” said King Arthur when they had ridden for several leagues, “thou hast delivered Excalibur and preserved me, and I am most grateful to thee.”
“Any knight would have done the same,” said Gawaine.
Now when they reached Camelot the preparations for the wedding were begun, and they were lavish. And all the knights were curious to know who it was that Sir Gawaine was going to marry, but he did not tell them, nor did King Arthur.
And Guinevere, who had fallen ill for want of Sir Launcelot, of whom nothing had been heard in ever so long, determined to be well enough to attend Gawaine’s wedding, for so fond of him was she. And she summoned him to her and she asked whom he was to wed.
“Madam,” said he, “with all respect, I would not tell you now, so that you might be surprised at the appropriate time.”
“Then very well, dear Gawaine,” said the queen. “No doubt thy reason for this secrecy will appear in the sequel and thy bride shall amaze us with her beauty and her grace.” And then her sweet smile did take on another character, and she said, “Alas for thee that thy dear friend Launcelot is not at Camelot now! But perhaps he shall come home in time for the nuptials?”
“Nothing could please me more,” said Sir Gawaine. “But I did search for him throughout the realm for an whole year. Were he not the invincible knight we know him for, I should fear he had been killed.”
And Guinevere did shudder, saying, “Yet he is not immune to treachery.”
“Let us rather think that he hath gone again to some monastery,” said Sir Gawaine, “and there, secretly immured, doth spend his days in pious exercise.”
But to Guinevere this was first a worse thought than if he had been killed, but next she knew an horrid guilt for having had the first thought.
Now the day of Sir Gawaine’s wedding did come, like all anticipated misfortunes, soon enough. And all hope that the bride would not appear were dashed when the hag came a-riding into Camelot on a donkey that was the ugliest beast in the world, and it was lame and covered with sores. And the guards upon the gate sought to turn her away, for it was not seemly that such a pestilent-looking creature be admitted to the castle on such a festive day.
But King Arthur was waiting to escort her, and he gave her gracious welcome and he conducted her to the chapel.
And there Sir Gawaine in a handsome costume of fur and silk awaited her, and he bowed to this loathsome crone who wore a wedding gown of some mean stuff, which had not been white in many years, and it was tattered as well, and her shoes were covered with mire, and her veil was so torn that her hideous face, with its bursting boils, was hardly covered at all.
“Lady,” said Sir Gawaine, “as you can see, I am prepared to keep my promise, for the answer you supplied was the right one, and I am grateful to you for saving King Arthur’s life.”
“Then, handsome Gawaine,” said the hag, “mine husband to be, let us proceed in all haste, for I long to share thy bed!”
And then, her claw upon his arm, King Arthur conducted her to the altar, whilst Sir Gawaine was accompanied by his brother Sir Agravaine, who had known nothing of the hag until he saw her, and when he did he believed that Gawaine had lost his reason.
And all the knights and ladies there assembled did marvel at the sight of the hideous bride, and they could not believe what they saw, and therefore they would have murmured amongst themselves, but King Arthur silenced them with his stern countenance. And Guinevere believed that want of Launcelot had made her so ill that she had been affected in her brain.
Now the ceremony was conducted by the chief of the chaplains of Camelot, and you can be sure that he lost no time in completing it, for the stench of the bride was even more obnoxious than her appearance. And when he was done and he told Sir Gawaine, as he was obliged to do, that the husband should now kiss the wife, never had there been such an awesome silence, except for the gasps of the many ladies who fainted dead away (and a deal of these had first been made women of, from girls, by Sir Gawaine in his robust days, and without exception they loved him yet).
Now Gawaine turned discreetly away for to take one deep breath, and then he turned back to kiss his abominable bride. And with her yellow talons she did lift her torn and filthy veil with all the dead flies in it...
But when her face was fully exposed her skin was white and flawless, and more delicate than sendal, and her eyes were the bluest of gems and her hair was the color of spun gold. And now a sweet perfume came from her, like unto that borne by a spring breeze which hath come through an orchard in blossom. And her rags were magically transformed as well, and now her loveliest of figures was clothed in white lace fine as a cobweb and it was trimmed with perfect pearls!
And when he kissed her Sir Gawaine pressed his mouth against the softest and the sweetest lips he had ever tasted, and they were the color of the most delicate rose, and no diamond was so perfect and white as her teeth.
And now the entire assemblage could gasp as one, in joy, and you can be sure that they did, for they all loved Sir Gawaine. Nor was anyone (except Gawaine himself) so happy as King Arthur!
“Well, lady,” said Sir Gawaine when he had finished kissing her, “this is some change.”
“Yea, and it is not an illusion,” said his bride, whose name was Ragnell. “For this is my proper aspect, as the other was altogether false, and I was condemned to show ugliness to the world by a wicked queen who cast a spell upon me. Nor could this enchantment be altered in any way until one of King Arthur’s knights would take me in marriage.”
“Then,” said Sir Gawaine, “how fortunate it was for both of us that this happened as it did!” And he displayed the greatest feelings of bliss.
“Thou hast nobly kept thy promise,” said Ragnell, “but I fear that thou hast been rewarded but by half. For even though I am married, I must yet assume the beastly guise at times—indeed, I am sorry to say, for half the time, dear Gawaine! And now thou must choose whether this is to be by day or by night.”
And so was Gawaine plunged into half-despair, and he asked, “Whether day or night?”
“Think carefully of the consequences,” said Ragnell. “If I am loathsome by day, then I shall be an obnoxious sight to all at Camelot, shaming thee before thy friends, but at night I shall be beautiful for thee to hold me in thine arms. But reversing this, if I am comely throughout the day I shall bring thee much honor in court, yet in the nights I shall be so foul as to sicken thee when we are chambered together.”
And they stood yet before the altar, and all the persons gathered in that chapel wondered at their delay in going to the wedding feast.
Now Sir Gawaine pondered on this matter, and then he said, “My dear sweet Ragnell, when thou art plain I shall not forget that thou wert beautiful not long before and that it will never be long before thou art beautiful once more.”
And Ragnell was overjoyed to hear him say this, for another kind of man, less noble than Sir Gawaine, would instead have brooded always, even when beauty was present, on the ugliness to come (and life in general is always half of each).
And she said, “Dearest Gawaine, I love thee with all mine heart. Nevertheless I am obliged to ask thee to make a choice. Forgetting the ugliness, then when wouldst thou see the beauty, by day or by night?”
“Love of my life,” said Gawaine, embracing her, “this can never be mine own decision, for thou art not an object which I possess like unto a suit of armor. Thou art one of God’s creatures, and in all fundamental matters thou must answer only to Him. This choice therefore must be thine alone.”
And Ragnell did cry joyfully, “Gawaine, mine own dear love! Hereby thou hast broken the curse altogether!”
And Sir Gawaine’s heart did rise though as yet he did not understand this matter, and seeing his puzzlement Ragnell was in haste to explain.
“I shall never again be ugly at any time,” said she, “but I shall be beautiful for thee always. For it was the condition of the wicked enchantment that had been put upon me that, first, I should be hideous at all times unless a knight of King Arthur would wed me regardless, and that thou didst. But then I should be ugly half the day, the which half would be chosen by mine husband as my lord and master. But thou, dearest Gawaine, hath refused to use that power over me. And in allowing me mine own choice, thou hast liberated me in more ways than one. No free will can be held in the captivity of any enchantment, and no woman can be ugly who retaineth the mastery of herself.”
And Sir Gawaine was overjoyed in his amazement, for he did not see that as a reformed lecher he could have done otherwise than he had!
And King Arthur had grown impatient to begin the wedding feast whilst Gawaine and his bride had been talking privately, and now he came and he took them each on a royal arm and so he walked with them to a dining hall, which was in another place than the Round Table (to which women were not admitted).
And the king gave them many costly gifts, and Sir Kay had had the bakers prepare a great cake which was twenty feet across and surmounted by the figures of a knight and a lady cunningly fashioned from spun sugar and as large as life. And great cheer was made that day by all the company at Camelot, and even Guinevere almost forgot her anguish.
And when they prepared for bed that night Sir Gawaine said to the fair Ragnell, who had in his eyes ever increased in beauty, “And who was the evil queen who put the terrible spell upon thee? For her name should be known to all, so that all may be on guard against her.”
“Morgan la Fey,” said his lovely bride, who did not know of his relationship to her.
“Ah,” said Sir Gawaine, “then we must never make it public, for alas! she is the sister of King Arthur.”