Read Asa (Marked Men #6) Online
Authors: Jay Crownover
“Look, I appreciate the offer and I would jump at the chance, but I can’t, and I can’t let you give me a free pass like that.”
He opened his mouth to argue with me but I cut him off by putting a hand on his massive shoulder and shaking my head.
“I’ve always taken any shortcut I could find. When I didn’t get shit handed to me, I took it because I thought I was entitled to it. I can’t do that with you. Not after everything you’ve done for me, Rome. If I ever get in a place where I can legitimately buy my way into a partnership with you, and the offer is still there I’ll jump on board. Until then, you just let me know if you need help with anything. I can be your go-to guy.”
“You’ve been that since the first day you started work here.”
I cleared my throat as heavy gratitude pressed in on me from all directions. “Thanks for trusting me enough to even consider getting into some kind of business with me.”
He grunted and we both left the office. “You’ve never given me a reason
not
to trust you. I know there was ugly shit before, but that doesn’t have anything to do with now. I’ve had to learn to leave the past where it belongs or it really fucks up the good stuff happening in the here and now.”
We were both pretty solemn as we walked back into the front of the Bar. Brite was gone and Dixie was standing behind the bar watching Dash, who insisted we all just call him Church like Rome did, as he walked around straightening tables. Rome gave the cocktail waitress a one-armed hug and stuck his head in the kitchen to let Darcy know he was leaving. He also gave Church a fist bump as the other dark-skinned ex-military man walked up to the bar and then looked at me with lifted eyebrows as he turned to go. “Lemme know if you change your mind, Opie.”
“Will do.” The nickname was ridiculous. I was so far from being the innocent southern kid in overalls at the water hole it was laughable, but a drunk kid had once lobbed the name as an insult, and not surprisingly it stuck.
Since it was a Saturday night I ran through what we were looking at business-wise for the night and told both Dixie and Church that Rome wanted to look for some more staff. I told them if they had any recommendations to send them my way and then went into the kitchen to make sure Avett had at least showed up for her shift. She was standing by the big walk-in cooler and Darcy was in front of her.
The older woman had her daughter’s chin in her hand and was screaming at her, “I know goddamn well you did not trip and fall and give yourself that black eye, Avett.”
Avett’s gaze darted anywhere but at her infuriated mother and landed on me. I saw her bottom lip tremble and I frowned at her over the top of Darcy’s head.
“If he’s putting marks on you that other people can see, it’s only gonna get worse. Not only does that mean he doesn’t give a shit about you, it means he doesn’t give a shit that you actually have people that might not want to see you hurt. That’s dangerous. You should cut ties and run like a rabbit with its tail on fire.”
Avett’s swirly eyes narrowed at me and she jerked away from her mom. “You don’t know anything. Neither one of you do. Jared was drunk. It was an accident. Leave me alone or I’ll walk out and you won’t have anyone to work the busiest night of the week.”
She was shaking and I knew she didn’t believe her own words. I could see it as she bit the inside of her cheek. You had to be able to lie to yourself before you could lie expertly to other people. Avett wasn’t quite there yet, and maybe there was time to stop her before she got there. I was done playing babysitter; it was time to let the bad guy out and maybe he could get results where coddling this troubled girl had failed.
I told her flatly, “You walk out, you aren’t walking back in. I’m done playing your spoiled-brat games. You don’t wanna be here, well, guess what, I really fucking don’t want you here either, but I owe your dad and your mom is a good lady, so I endure working with you. This”—I waved a hand around the kitchen to encompass the dramatic scene I had interrupted—“is the threshold for my bullshit tolerance.” I made sure I looked at Darcy so she could see how dead serious I was before I walked back out of the kitchen.
It was a busy Saturday night even without a band, but all the patrons seemed to be on their best behavior. There was one little squabble among some girls, but as soon as they saw Church making his way over to where they were causing a ruckus, they quieted down and went immediately into flirt mode. I stayed busy until midnight, when a scraggly-looking dude walked in looking strung out and shifty. I had the sinking suspicion he was here for Avett. He totally looked like the kind of scumbag that had no issue hitting women or asking them to steal from work.
He stayed just inside the front door and was twitchy enough that Church hovered close by. I was getting ready to round the bar and ask him what his deal was when Avett came barreling out of the kitchen and rushed to the guy’s side. He scowled at her and shrugged her off, all while hauling her body out the front door. I saw Church’s eyebrows snap down in a fierce V, and without me saying anything, he followed the young couple into the parking lot. At least we could stop the idiot from pounding on her while she was at work. I made a mental note to mention something to Brite. He was the baddest of the bad and anything he would have to say to his daughter’s loser boyfriend would be far more effective and terrifying than anything I came up with.
“Can I have another lemon drop, please?”
My attention shifted back to the smiling lady that had been sitting at the bar since ten. She was a tad bit older, probably in her midforties, but she was a looker. I wasn’t sure how much was natural versus how much was man-made, but she had an amazing face and sleek blond hair, and a look in her dark eyes that let me know she would like me to serve her more than a martini. I thought it was funny since she was with a guy that looked younger than me and he was bending over backward to keep not only her attention but her obvious wealth focused on him. He was glaring at me every time she tried to engage me in conversation, so of course I had played it up all night.
I smiled back, made sure to flex when I shook her drink, and kissed the back of her fingers when she handed me a twenty for a tip. I laughed under my breath when the guy turned beet red and looked like he was going to explode. She was a classy-looking chick, but I wasn’t into being man-candy, so I took her money and fucked with her boy toy for my own amusement. They weren’t our normal type of customer and I wondered where in the world they had wandered in from. I was going to ask but got distracted by a blown keg I needed to change and by a couple that thought they could walk out on Dixie without paying their tab.
I was tired by the time the bar was shut down and Church was getting ready to walk Dixie to her car. They asked if I wanted them to wait for me but I needed a minute to decompress. I had so much stuff floating around in my head: Rome’s offer, Avett’s crappy boyfriend, where my life really was going, and of course Royal. I hadn’t seen her since the hospital, but she was back at work now, so maybe that was enough to have her acting right instead of acting out. I didn’t want her to be all tangled up in my mind and my confusion, but when I closed my eyes to go to bed at night, I still tasted her winter-cold lips against my own.
It was after three by the time I hit the lights and locked everything up. I drank a couple fingers of scotch while listening to the Raconteurs on the digital jukebox before hitting the back door, then I shrugged into my coat for the walk home. I was lucky it was close because I really didn’t love Colorado winter weather. How February managed to be so much colder than either December or January still amazed my inherently southern bones. With my hands in my pockets I put my head down against the bitter wind and started across the parking lot. A soft feminine voice dropping really ugly swearwords brought me up short.
I blinked because I couldn’t believe she was back at my bar in the middle of the night. Once again in gym clothes and looking all too delectable. She was pacing in a very agitated manner and stopping to alternately kick the tire of her SUV and thunk her forehead on the driver’s window.
“Royal?”
She jerked around when I said her name and gazed at me with dark and hypnotic eyes.
“I’m not stalking you.” She stiffened as I made my way over to her. She seemed automatically defensive.
“I didn’t think you were.”
She sighed and let her head roll back to hit the window. “I couldn’t sleep, so I went to the gym. That didn’t help, so I thought I’d stop and have a drink, then I remembered you don’t want me here. So then I had to sit in the car for a few minutes and decide what I wanted to do, but while I was doing that a really drunk girl came out of the convenience store over there.” She pointed to the little corner store across the street. “She was going to drive, so I had to go over and say something.” Her pretty mouth quirked up in a tiny grin. “I took her keys and waited until she got a cab, only as usual I left my purse inside the 4Runner along with my keys and phone.” She thunked her head back again and I wanted to reach out to pull her into a hug. “I locked myself out of my car.”
I blew out a breath and it fogged in the air between us. It was much like the last time we had been here, only her hand wasn’t around my dick and I wasn’t pawing at her like a crazy person.
“You don’t keep a spare?”
She rolled her eyes. “Of course I do. But not on the car. I’m a cop. That would just be asking for trouble or a pissed-off perp waiting for me in my backseat after a shift. Saint has one, Dom has one, Nash even has one, but it’s three in the morning and I don’t exactly want to make that call and piss everyone off. Besides Dom is the one I would call and he can’t exactly ride to my rescue right now.” I saw her gulp as she said it and her eyes darted away from mine.
I groaned and I knew she heard it. “Come on. You can come crash at my place and call the cavalry in the morning. It’s cold and I’m too tired to try and figure out a smarter solution.”
She cocked her head to the side and considered me for a long moment before asking, “Smarter solution?”
I took her by the elbow and felt her shiver. I took my coat off again and wrapped her up in it. Someone needed to explain to her that it was fucking freezing outside and she needed to wear more than skintight workout gear if she was going to wander the streets at night.
“You and me alone is the dumbest idea I ever had, Red. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
I knew I could just ask him for his phone to call a cab and get a ride back to Capitol Hill. I also knew Nash would be happy to get up and come collect me even if it was well past the middle of the night. But I had been angling for Asa to take me home for weeks, and if this was the only opportunity I was going to get, then I was going to roll with it, even if he looked more annoyed and agitated than amorous. Besides, he had given me his coat again when the temperature was freezing cold and I knew somehow that meant something even if he wasn’t aware of it.
“How was going back to work?” His drawl was honeyed and warm as he guided me along the silent streets. I don’t think I knew anyone else that was a grown-up yet didn’t own a car. It was just one more piece of the puzzle that was Asa Cross.
“It’s been tricky. I’ve never partnered with anyone but Dominic, so it’s strange being on patrol with someone new.”
My temporary partner was a guy named Barrett. He was quite a bit older than me and most definitely the strong, silent type. I was used to letting Dom take the lead, to following his moves, so it was strange trying to adjust to being the more vocal partner. So far my shifts without Dom had been pretty uneventful and I hadn’t had to pull my gun or really wade into any danger. I was dreading the day it happened, even though the department shrink told me that was normal. She was convinced I was suffering from some low-grade PTSD symptoms and that my guilt at being distracted and seeing Dom almost die was tied to the fact that I had escaped the shootout unscathed.
I leaned into Asa’s side when I noticed that he was shivering in the cold. A thrill raced through me when he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and huddled into me. Sure, it was probably for warmth, but my libido didn’t care.
“How is your partner doing?”
I hated to think about Dom being laid up and healing. He was a guy that liked action, that liked to be hands-on, but in his current state all he could do was lie in bed and watch endless hours of Netflix while his sisters hovered over him. It also rankled me every time I put my uniform on that I was the one that got to go to work, that I was the one who ended up all right, while Dom was the one stuck not knowing what his future was going to look like. The unfairness of it all grated across my skin and sat heavy in my gut every single shift.
“He’s getting there. He’s going to need a lot of physical therapy once he’s back in fighting form. That broken femur is no joke.”
“If you need a name, I know a guy.”
I looked up at him from under my eyelashes. “You know a guy?”
We reached a very nondescript and frankly crappy apartment complex and I followed him up a few flights of stairs. This isn’t ever where I’d picture him living.
“Well, Rome knows a guy. He used to date Rome’s younger brother, Rule’s twin, Remy. His name is Orlando Fredrick and he’s some big-shot sports physical therapist. I’ve met him a few times when he popped into the Bar to talk to Rome. He seems like a pretty cool guy, and according to Rome, he knows his shit.”
Rome didn’t strike me as the type that handed out praise or respect lightly, so I made a mental note of the name to pass along to Dom and followed Asa into the apartment. It was tiny, really tiny, and there wasn’t much in it. I mean it was a studio, so there wasn’t a lot of space to keep stuff, but beyond the bed, a decent-sized flat-screen TV, the little bistro set, and a well-worn recliner, there didn’t seem to be any part of him in the apartment.
If he was concerned or interested in my slightly startled reaction to his place, he didn’t show it. He flipped on the lights, tossed his keys and his cell on the itty-bitty little table, and shoved his hands through his thick, blond hair.
“Let me dig out some clean sheets and you can change the bed while I take a shower.” He inclined his head toward the chair. “I’ll crash in the recliner since I can sleep anywhere and you can take the bed.”
I opened my mouth to argue. It wasn’t a king-sized bed but it was definitely big enough for both of us to share. Yet there was a glow in his gold eyes, a warning light that had me clicking my teeth together in frustrated silence. I always felt like he was trying to say something to me without words, like he had an unspoken message for me I was just too thick to pick up on. Something was working behind those jungle-cat eyes and there was a coiled tension in him that I could feel vibrating and waiting to spring loose. I shrugged out of his coat and hung it on the back of one of the chairs that sat at the table. I took the sheets and blanket he shoved at me before he turned and headed to what I assumed was the bathroom.
I sank to the edge of the bed and stared blankly at the cracked-open door. I set the bundle in my arms down next to me and tried to get my head around what was happening. This was absolutely not what I had pictured coming home with the sexy southerner to be like. I was sure once it was just the two of us, alone, the undeniable heat and chemistry that popped and sizzled between us would reach a bursting point. Then I would finally get all that I knew Asa had to offer directed at me. I wanted that smooth charm, that effortless sexiness, and all the turbulent desire I knew was lurking just below the surface of his good-ol’-boy façade. I sighed and looked at his abandoned cell phone, wondering if I really should call someone to rescue me. It was starting to seem like Asa’s desire to save me from what he clearly thought was going to be a mistake was far stronger than my desire to make that mistake.
I got up and went to crack open the door to the bathroom enough that I could tell him I was going to call a cab and head home. I wasn’t going to kick him out of his bed when he obviously didn’t want me here. I already had enough things in my life making me feel bad about myself; I didn’t need to chase after more rejection from Asa.
“Hey, I’m just gonna …” I trailed off as my tongue suddenly forgot how to work and all thought fled.
Of course there wouldn’t be a full-sized bath and shower in this tiny apartment. Just a shower stall enclosed in barely frosted glass that hid nothing. The steam from the shower wasn’t enough to obscure the sight before me, and my hand pushed the door open the rest of the way like it was operating independently from the rest of me.
He had one arm bent above his head with his forehead resting on it as the water cascaded down around him. He turned to look at me as the door opened. Even with the shower steam and the hazy glass between us, I could see his brilliant gaze lock on mine as his other arm moved to work his fist up and down an impressive erection that was obviously meant for me.
I knew I should shut the door and turn away. It was his space, his private moment, but I couldn’t do it and I was equal parts turned on and furious watching him as he worked himself over all while he watched me unblinkingly. He was beautiful; it was beautiful. Yet I was so mad that after all the ways in which I had made it clear to him that he could have me, he would rather self-gratify than take me to bed, that I was having a hard time appreciating all that beauty even if I was transfixed by the sight. He was wasting something that was rightfully mine and I wanted to scream at him to stop, to ask me to join him under the water and put that throbbing evidence of his arousal to better use, but I was stunned into silence, rooted to the spot by twin spikes of passion and fury.
He was all long, lean lines and taut golden skin. His blond hair was slick, shades darker from the water, and his eyes shone out of his face like something was lighting them up from deep within him. The muscles in his arm and across his broad shoulders flexed and danced as his hand moved over the thick, impatient-looking arousal that hung prominently between his legs. His defined abs contracted then released as he let out a long groan after a few more purposeful strokes brought him to completion. His entire body jerked just a little and I could swear he mouthed my name as he came, but that might have been wishful thinking on my part. His fist relaxed and he blinked slowly at me while reaching out with a hand to push open the shower door. We stared at each other for a long silent moment and I put a hand up to my throat because I felt like everything I wanted to say to him was stuck there.
“You suck and I kind of hate you a lot right now.” My words were raspy and rough as I turned on my heel and stormed out of the bathroom, making sure to slam the door behind me.
I wanted to choke him and fuck him, not sure which desire was stronger. I stalked to the table and snatched up the phone with every intention of getting out of this apartment. Away from him. It was an emotional overload that I didn’t want to make me do something I would end up regretting later when I was thinking more clearly. The fact of the matter was I knew he had set me up, had wanted me to walk in on him and see what he was doing. The door was left open for a reason; he had left me to stew as soon as we walked in the front door on purpose. He was a calculating son of a bitch and I was really starting to see who he was under all the gloss and charm he hid behind most of the time.
Asa wanted me to know that even though he wanted me, he wasn’t ever going to go there even when it was just us, alone in his apartment. His point had been made in a startlingly clear and vivid way, and now I had to get away even if I would never, ever forget the images he had imprinted on my mind forever.
Of course the phone had a password on it, which just amped up my frustration even further. I stared at it blankly, trying to figure out my next move, when his fingers wrapped around my wrist and he pulled the useless device out of my hand. He spun me around and absently tossed the phone back onto the table. He was glaring down at me, which maybe would have been intimidating—after all, I didn’t really know Asa that well—but he hadn’t bothered to put anything on, not even a towel. He was standing way too close and was way too naked for me to feel anything other than the damn lust he seemed to own as it rushed back to the surface.
We glowered at each other, his fingers wrapped around my pulse where it thundered under his touch. His mouth was in a hard line and water was running down his temples and across the smooth plane of his chest. Asa was a beautiful man when he was wearing worn jeans and an old T-shirt; naked and angry, he looked like an ancient Greek god visiting amongst us mere humans.
I jolted in surprise when he used his other hand to reach up and pull out the tie that was holding all my hair on top of my head in a messy knot. The tangled strands fell haphazardly around my shoulders and I tilted my head back to look at him.
“You have no idea what you’re getting into with me, Royal.” His voice was always so rich and full of warm southern tones. Right now he sounded gruff and there was a tremor in it that made my heart stumble over itself.
“Yeah, well, I’m a big girl, Asa. I should get the option to figure that out without you deciding it for me.”
His fingers fluttered over my wrist, then moved up to my elbow, traveling farther up so that his palm smothered my shoulder, and then he was cupping my jaw in his hand while rubbing his thumb along my bottom lip.
“You’re a cop.” Like that was reason enough for him to keep fighting against this vortex of want and need that pulled at both of us.
I blew out a breath and lifted my own hand to wrap around his wrist. “I know, but that’s not all that I am.” The surrealness of having this conversation, finally, while he was naked and while I was still pretty pissed off at him, made me dizzy. Maybe he was right. Maybe I didn’t really understand what I was trying to get into with him.
A smirk kicked up the corner of his mouth and he took a step back from me. He looked devilish and far too tempting. “You’re mad at me.”
I nodded in agreement. “I am. That stunt in the shower was a dirty trick. I know you planned it out. You wanted me to see you. You wanted me to know that even though I’ve been chasing you, have made it clear that I want you … that you aren’t going to cross that line with me. That was a total dick move.”
At first I wanted him because he seemed like the perfect distraction to all the other stuff going wrong in my life. Then I had wanted him more because he was making it impossible to get him. Now I just wanted. That was a whole lot of sexy, naked man standing in front of me, and any reason I might once have had for wanting to be with him seemed frivolous when faced with all his ridiculous masculine beauty.
He tilted his chin down just a hint, just enough to let me know that I had hit his motivations right on the mark. He held his arms out to the side, lifted up both of his blond eyebrows in challenge, and told me in a silky and seductive tone, “It should’ve been enough. Too bad it wasn’t, because I was thinking about you the entire time. I don’t know if we’re lucky or doomed that I never seem to be able to do the right thing for very long. You’ve been after me for a minute, Red. I’m not gonna cross the line, but if you want to, I’m not going to stop you anymore.”
I bit my bottom lip and watched his reaction flare in his eyes. “What happens after I do?” There were threads of hesitation in my voice and I knew he could hear them. He let his arms fall and he turned back to the unmade bed.
I hadn’t really thought very far ahead when I had my hands down his pants in the parking lot or when I was purposely pulling my clothes off in front of him on the dance floor at the Bar. All I knew was that he was the first guy to ever make me want, really want, and he was the first man to ever make me chase him. I never stopped to consider what was going to happen if I actually caught him.
“I can’t answer that, but if I had to guess I’d say it’s probably going to end in destruction and heartbreak. That’s usually what happens when I get something good in my life.”
He crawled up on the bed and then turned on his back and stacked his hands behind his head. “If you want the code on my phone, I’ll give it to you so you can leave. If you want to stay, hit the lights and crawl up here. I promise to behave … for now.”
I looked at him, looked at the phone on the table, and sighed. Really there was only one option and it had nothing to do with him behaving or me leaving. He told me the line was mine to cross and that’s exactly what I intended to do even if it did indeed lead to destruction and heartbreak.