Ashes of Roses (Tales of the Latter Kingdoms Book 4) (13 page)

My heart was wrung upon hearing such revelations. The gods knew my life had not been a happy one these past ten years, but before that I had had my father, had known that he loved me and wished only the best for me. And my mother had loved me as well, in those scant few years we had together before she was taken from us so prematurely. It was hard, but how much harder must it be to have a mother who had never loved you, who only saw you as the offspring of a man she despised?

Silently I went to Torric and put my arms around him. He was no longer the Emperor, but a man who had seen his own share of hurt, a man I hoped to comfort. Almost at once he returned the embrace, folding me against him, his lips brushing against my hair just past the brim of the jaunty little cap I wore.

“I am so sorry,” I murmured, and I felt his arms tighten about me.

“No need. I am a grown man, and have long since resigned myself to the situation. But you see now why I wanted to choose my wife, to make my marriage something more than a sham created by politics.”

“I do see,” I told him. “And glad I am that by some miracle you found me amongst all those other young women.”

“That was not hard — you shine forth among them like a diamond in a mountain of coal.”

Those words brought a flush to my cheeks, though of course he could not see it with my face buried against his chest as it was. “Ah, well, you must still shine a light on a diamond to see its sparkle, must you not?”

“True enough.” He released me then, and took my hands in his. “Ashara, I wish we could return and tell everyone what has passed between us here. But we have two more days to go ere these festivities are done and I can finally name my bride. Can you manage to keep a secret for those two days?”

Oh, I was good enough at keeping secrets. Not trusting myself to speak, I nodded.

“Excellent. And do not be jealous if you see me paying attention to some of those other girls, for I must pretend enough to keep people from guessing. Know that my heart is yours and yours alone.”

I understood the reasons for this, and although I did not care for them overmuch, I hoped I could be brave enough to accept them. Two days was not such a span of time after all. We had only met two days ago, and yet now I could barely imagine a world without Torric. “I shall not be jealous,” I told him, then shot him a sly smile and added, “As long as you do not mind if perhaps I flirt with other young men?”

He put a hand to his breast and mock-staggered backward. “Ah, Ashara, you wound me! Very well, flirt if you must. It will keep people guessing.”

To be sure, I did not think I cared much for the idea of leading on young men in whom I had no real interest. However, if such subterfuges would help to keep the true nature of my relationship with Torric a secret, then so be it. I opened my mouth to say as much, but then I heard the pounding of approaching hoofbeats, and the baying of the hounds, and I knew that our idyll here in the forest was about to be cut short.

Torric heard them, too, of course — his head went up, and he turned away from me, his mouth tightening. In an undertone he said to me, “I will find a way to be alone with you tomorrow night. Be ready.”

“I will,” I said, and wondered what he had planned. I supposed I would find out soon enough.

He moved away from me, toward my horse, and made rather a fuss of adjusting the girth on my saddle. I wondered what he was doing…until I realized he was putting on a show for the men who even now burst into the clearing, a harried-looking Lord Hein at their head. No doubt Torric wanted the search party to think my horse had bolted and brought us here, and he was only trying to assist me so that we might rejoin the others. Quickly I leaned up against a tree, and put a hand to my brow as if distressed by what had just occurred.

As I did so, he caught the gesture and winked at me, even as some ten mounted guards burst into the little glade. Despite everything, I felt a little rush of relief.

Whatever happened next, at least I would not have to face it alone.

T
orric

T
o say
Lord Hein was displeased would be a severe understatement, and Renwell Blane, the leader of my guards, was even more incensed.

“Your Majesty, anything could have happened!” he said, as I helped Ashara back into her saddle and then got back up on my own horse. “It is not safe — ”

“On the contrary, Blane, it is perfectly safe. These woods are an imperial preserve. There is nothing here more dangerous than a few foxes. Indeed, it is the foxes who should be in fear of their lives, not I.”

Something that sounded suspiciously like a muffled snort came from Ashara’s direction. I dared not look at her, for I wanted to make sure all attention was centered on me, and kept away from her. I could imagine her expression, however — those amber-hazel eyes dancing with mischief, her lovely lips pursed in an attempt to hold in her laughter.

“Your Majesty — ”

“Enough. I understand your concern, even though I believe it is entirely unwarranted. Now, Blane, since Lady Ashara’s horse has been stopped, and we are all safe and sound, I suggest we go back to the reception before we miss it entirely.”

Blane and Hein exchanged knowing looks, but of course they knew better than to pursue the debate any further.

“As you wish, Your Majesty,” said the captain of my guard, and wheeled his horse around. Lord Hein fell in behind him, and the rest of the troupe surrounded Ashara and me. No more daring escapes for us; I sensed that the men would ride as close to us as propriety allowed so that we might not have another chance to leave them behind.

Ah, well. I could not ask for anything more, really. I had had my time with Ashara, had tasted her sweet lips and felt her slim form pressed up against mine, and it seemed greedy to wish for more of her. Not yet, anyway. Perhaps the cynical observer would have said it was a foregone conclusion that she would accept my offer of marriage, but I was not so sure. I had spent too much of my life surrounded by those currying favor and saying that which they thought I expected to hear to not perceive the ring of truth when I heard it. Ashara had said she loved me for me, and not my rank, and I believed her.

Truly, it would be difficult to pretend, to make the world think I had not yet made up my mind, but I would do my best. It would be better for Ashara, I thought, if I spread my attentions around somewhat, for I had already seen that many of the other girls had cast malicious glances in her direction when she rode up today. That we had disappeared into the woods together would make tongues wag even more, I wagered, and so I must do what I could to stop their wagging, if only briefly.

I did not look back at her, but I was keenly aware of her presence there, almost fancied I could smell a sweet drift of perfume from her hair. Foolishness, really — there were many scents here in the forest, not all of them pleasant, so to think I could sense the flowery scent of her hair rinse was merely fancy on my part.

It would have been a grand thing for me to slow my horse so I rode parallel with her, so I could reach out and take her in my arms and ride far, far away, someplace where I need not have guards surrounding me everywhere I went, someplace where I would not have to look at Lord Hein’s frown or the scowl the captain of my guard still wore. But since I knew such a maneuver would be blocked before it even began, I merely rode on, my head high, a smile born of long practice on my lips.

And so it was that we cantered back to the edge of the forest, to the green field where the pavilions had been set up and a crowd awaited us. It appeared that the other young women who had participated in the hunt had long since dismounted, their horses led away. The murmur of their voices grew louder as we approached, drowning out the sweet strains of a group of musicians in the largest of the pavilions.

I dismounted and handed off the reins to a waiting groom. As much as I wished to go back to Ashara, to help her down from her horse, I knew that would only be showing the sort of regard I was attempting to conceal. So I marched toward the imperial pavilion as if I did not have a care in the world, leaving Ashara to manage on her own — and hoping she would understand the motivations for my actions.

Lyarris greeted me with a rueful smile. “I hear you have had quite the adventure.”

“Oh, nothing much. The young lady’s horse bolted, and I followed, to make sure she came to no harm.”

“Is that what happened?” My sister’s dark eyes danced as she gave acknowledged the lie; she knew of my feelings for Ashara, even if she did not realize how serious things had become between us. “Well, I am glad the ‘young lady’ is all right, and you as well. Mother was furious, as you can imagine.”

I could, unfortunately. “Where is she? I must do my best to avoid her.”

“Oh, she has gone off to one of the other pavilions, for she thought it too crowded in here. I daresay she will be back soon enough, once she has wearied of a new batch of people bowing and scraping to her.”

“Careful, sister — you are beginning to sound a bit too much like me.”

Lyarris did not precisely grimace, but I saw her mouth tighten. “Well, it has been one thing after another, you know — first she did not care for what the musicians were playing, and then she complained that her gown was too long to be walking about in this grass, and then the cooks did not make the meat pastries she wanted…even though she told no one of her preference. I expect she thought they should just pick the idea out of her mind, like one of those mages in the old days who were supposed to see your thoughts. Anyway, it has been rather trying, and…” She broke off then, and her gaze strayed to the tall form of Sorthannic Sedassa where he stood on the other side of the pavilion, speaking with Lord Hildar. Yes, I could see why my sister would be put out, when she finally had a chance to steal some time with the Duke of Marric’s Rest, only to be thwarted by the incessant complaints of our mother.

I saw no sign of Lord Hildar’s daughter, the irrepressible Gabrinne, or of her quarry, Lord Senric. “Is the Duke of Gahm here? I thought he was supposed to attend.”

As I had hoped, my question distracted Lyarris from her romantic woes, and she smiled. “Oh, yes, he’s here…pursued by a very determined Lady Gabrinne. I believe she led him over to that stand of oak yonder. Something about helping her determine if the leaves are about to turn.”

“She couldn’t think of anything better than that?”

A shrug. “It seems to have worked, because they went forth a quarter-hour earlier and have not returned. I have to say that he did not seem all that reluctant about going with her.”

“No, I somehow doubt he would. There is something in her aspect that tells me she isn’t above stealing a kiss or two, as long as no one is looking.” Even more than that — the daughter of an earl was watched too closely to be truly wanton, but I had the feeling Gabrinne would have no problem allowing Lord Senric to compromise her just a little, if it meant a speedier trip to the altar.

“And what about you?”

I raised my eyebrows. “I am not sure I understand what you are asking.”

She shook her head. “Oh, play the innocent if you must, but I know you better than that. Tell everyone that Lady Ashara’s horse bolted and you most chivalrously followed to see that she came to no harm…but I rather think there might have been some kiss-stealing involved there as well.”

“And I rather think that perhaps you have been spending too much time writing down people’s stories, and so are inventing them when in fact there are none.”

Being Lyarris, she did not take offense at my words, but only smiled somewhat. “You may tell yourself that, if it makes you feel better. But now I think you had better make your rounds, or the young ladies will be even more restless than they are already. You should have heard the chatter when news came back that you had disappeared into the woods to the gods only knew where!”

Since I had a good idea of how raucous it must have been been, I was very glad I had not been around to hear it. But my sister was right — I needed to walk amongst the young women, smile upon a chosen few, and make it seem as if I had not a care in the world, and specifically no special regard for a certain Ashara Millende.

As I stepped from the pavilion, two guards immediately fell in behind me. It appeared Renwell Blane was taking no chances.

Smothering a grin, I went to the tent where roughly a third of the young women had gathered. At once they fell in around me, filling the air with their babbling: “Your Majesty, is all well with you?” “Your Majesty, you gave us all such a turn!” “Your Majesty, are you going to have another hunt, since this one ended so badly?”

I turned to see who had asked that last question, and looked down into Brinda Aldrenne’s glinting dark eyes. It did not surprise me that she should be so forward; I had heard she was quite the horsewoman, and so of course she would be upset that her chance to shine should be set so awry.

Raising a hand, I said, “Ladies, my deepest apologies if the afternoon has not gone quite the way we all expected. I am here now, and am quite well. And Lady Brinda,” I added, making sure to catch her gaze and hold it, “I do regret that the hunt did not turn out as planned, but unfortunately we have a strict schedule this week, and I cannot ask my seneschal to set up another hunt.”

Her mouth turned down, making what I normally would have considered to be a rather pretty pout…if I did not know how much lovelier Ashara’s mouth was, or what a viper Brinda could be. “I understand, Your Majesty,” she replied, and although her tone was uncharacteristically meek, I saw a flash of anger in her eyes.

I knew better than to acknowledge that anger, however. Still smiling, I said, “Be of good cheer, Brinda. Perhaps I can assuage your disappointment by asking you to sit by me at the musicale tomorrow evening?”

The anger was gone immediately, replaced by a bright avaricious glint. “Oh, Your Majesty, I would be so honored!”

“Excellent,” I told her, and went on to smile and even laugh as best I could as I made my way through the pavilion before moving on to the next. Gods, what a sacrifice I was making. To have to endure Brinda Aldrenne’s loathsome company all the next evening! But I could think of no better way to pacify her, and it was only for a few hours. Besides, I had already told Ashara I would find a way to slip off and be alone with her, so I did have something to look forward to. How precisely I was going to manage such a feat, I did not know. Ah, well, I had some hours in which to formulate a plan.

In the meantime, I would just have to suffer the company of all these importunate young women, and hope none of them would notice how weary I already was of all of them.

T
ruly
, the rest of the afternoon proved to be as tedious as I had expected, with two exceptions. As I returned to the royal pavilion after dutifully making my rounds, I spied Lord Senric and Gabrinne Nelandre standing very close to one another, their fingers entwined. Probably no one else noticed, or cared; he was not the prize all those girls sought. Well, save one. But I smiled a little as I entered the pavilion, a smile that only broadened as I saw my sister and Lord Sorthannic apparently deep in conversation, oblivious to the jaundiced stare my mother was sending their way.

“You look displeased,” I said casually, signaling one of the servants for a goblet of wine. All that talking to all those young women had dried out my throat most uncomfortably. “I thought you did not disapprove of such a match.”

She lifted her shoulders. “My daughter should be marrying a prince. But since there are none to be had, I suppose she must settle for a mere duke. I just wish the duke in question were someone else.”

Good thing the two subjects of our discussion were so engrossed in their own conversation that they seemed not to notice my mother’s words, for she took no care to keep her voice down. A servant handed me my wine and bowed. I took a sip before saying, “Why? Sorthannic Sedassa seems like a very worthy person.”

“Oh, he is handsome enough, I will grant you that. And he does seem to have some skill on the tourney field. I just wish his father had had the sense to marry a good Sirlendian nobleman’s daughter instead of some commoner from South Eredor!” She uttered the word “commoner” with such bile she might as well have said “whore.”

I did not know why I should be surprised; I had heard much worse from her over the years. Even so, I found myself defending the woman in question, though I had never met her and doubted I ever would. “I have heard that her family is quite prosperous, and in fact owns extensive vineyards in South Eredor. So I do believe there are commoners and commoners, Mother.”

She gave me a blank look. “But they are involved in
trade
, Torric.”

At that point I decided to abandon the argument. I knew I would never win, and expending the energy seemed a useless exercise. For all her complaining, she would not openly oppose the match, if it were to happen at all, simply because she knew there were few candidates of acceptable rank and age to take Lyarris’ hand in marriage. Lucky for Lyarris, only I as the Emperor had the power to outright forbid her the match, and of course I would do no such thing. If the Dowager Empress envisioned Lord Sorthannic’s mother as some common wench not above stomping the grapes from her family’s vineyard, well, so be it. I did not know the Duke of Marric’s Rest all that well, but I rather imagined he would only laugh if word of such spiteful fancies came to his ears.

Wishing to turn the conversation away from Lord Sorthannic’s relations, I asked, “And how is the work progressing on your gown for the ball on Friday evening? Lyarris told me it was going to be quite magnificent. Everyone else will pale beside you.”

“I rather doubt that,” she said, “seeing as I am far past the prime of my youth. But thank you for distracting me.” She cast a disapproving glance toward the Duke of Marric’s Rest and my sister, and then at the denizens of the pavilion as a whole. “Since you have done your duty and walked amongst your adoring crowds once again, how much longer must this farce go on? I am becoming weary and wish to lie down and rest before supper.”