Ashes of Roses (Tales of the Latter Kingdoms Book 4) (7 page)

In the meantime, though, I could at least enjoy wearing fine gowns…even if they were no more substantial than my hopes of an imperial match…and also enjoy being away from my stepmother’s house. The smile that had been playing about my lips faded then, as I wondered what my poor aunt had been forced to suffer while wearing my guise. Not too much, I hoped; with both my stepsisters out of the house for a good portion of the day, the workload had to have been reduced somewhat.

That led me to wonder what would be the best way to sneak back in and trade places with my aunt, so she might slip away without anyone noticing that aught was amiss. At least now dusk was upon us, and the dimmer light would afford me a better opportunity to enter the property. Through the back gates, I decided, which were latched but never locked. It would be close enough to suppertime that Janks should be indoors, and not out in his room next to the stables. Since that was where we had met this morning, I guessed it was also where my aunt would attempt to see me…if she were allowed a free moment.

Well
, I told myself,
she seems to have planned all this out more or less, so you will have to hope that she has her own means of knowing when you are back
.

More magic, no doubt…

The carriage stopped more or less where it had picked me up earlier in the day, around the curve of the street from the house, in a spot where I would not be easily seen. The coachman came around to help me out, and said, “I’ll be here again tomorrow evening, my lady. Your aunt said an hour after dusk. Is that correct?”

I nodded, hoping the time was right. I had no real idea, since the Emperor had not given an exact hour for his dinner. Everyone seemed to know; perhaps there was always a set time for formal dinners in the palace, something all those noble-born girls would already be aware of. How my aunt had access to that information, I was not sure, but as she seemed to know a great many things, once again I would have to trust her intelligence on this matter as well.

After that, the coach clattered away, and I was left to huddle in the shadows along the wall, and move quickly and quietly to the back gate, my shaking fingers finding the leather thong that would lift the latch. All the while I feared this would be the one time Claris sent Janks out back to fetch something, and he would find me, and all would be lost.

But he did not come, and I was able to make my way without incident across the uneven flagstones of the courtyard and into the stables, where I shut the door quietly and then leaned against the wall, taking in deep breaths of air that still smelled faintly of straw, and wondering how on earth I could possibly go through all these machinations four more times.

“You look so wearied, one would think it was you who had been scrubbing floors and beating rugs all day,” came my aunt’s wry voice.

I started, and turned to see her standing in the doorway, her arms crossed and an amused expression on her — on
my
— face. Even as I watched, however, I saw her features seem to shift and melt, and then it was my aunt looking back at me, now in a simple but well-made gown of dark grey silk…silk which now appeared to have several fresh spots on it, though I could not tell for sure, with only the faint light from the kitchen windows to keep the rapidly approaching night at bay.

She seemed to notice where I was looking, and reached down and spread her stained skirts. “Oh, bother,” she said in rueful tones. “I hadn’t even stopped to think about that. I shall have to make sure I wear my oldest gowns the rest of this week. But never mind — how was it? Did you meet
him
?”

I nodded. “Yes, and you were right, for he was so very handsome — and kind, too — and he even said I was lovely, when I did not hear him give a compliment to any of the other girls!”

Her face lit up at my words. “Oh, that is excellent news, and precisely what I was hoping for. I can only imagine that it will get even better from here, for now he seems to have noticed you particularly, and will no doubt seek you out tomorrow as well.” She went past me and into one of the empty stalls, where apparently she had hidden her cloak, for she plucked it off a hook there and placed it on her shoulders, then pulled up the hood. “I will be back tomorrow just before dusk. I know it will be difficult, what with the way your stepmother manufactures work for you where there is no need, but do what you can to preserve your strength, for a dinner at the palace can go quite late.”

None too sanguine at the prospect of avoiding my stepmother’s innumerable tasks, I nonetheless nodded. “I will do what I can. Truly, just the thought of being able to see
him
again will be enough to keep my energy up, I am sure.”

My aunt patted me on the shoulder. “That’s my girl. Then, until tomorrow — and do take what care of yourself you can.”

With that she drew the hood even further over her face and hurried out of the stables. I went to the doorway and watched her as she seemed to melt into the shadows — seemed almost to
become
one of the shadows. Perhaps it was more of her magic. A useful trick, one I wished I might be able to employ myself.

No such luck, however. I heard Claris calling my name out the kitchen door, and looked down to see that my rich russet gown was now gone, and the familiar greyish-brown linen, much faded and patched, in its place.

Sighing, I shut the stable door behind me and hurried toward the kitchen, calling out as I did so, “Coming, Claris!”

Truly, it would be a very long night, and day, to follow. I would have to hold his face in my mind, and hope it would be enough to help me through to tomorrow evening, and my next chance to see him again.

T
orric

“
S
o who was this paragon
?” my sister inquired, setting down her goblet of wine and slanting me an amused look.

“Her name is Ashara Millende, and she is the daughter of a baronet. I cannot say if she is a ‘paragon’ upon such short acquaintance, but I do think she is certainly the loveliest of the girls I met today. Her voice is sweet, too, and there is something in her eyes that tells me she has a quick mind as well.”

“A paragon indeed!” Lyarris sat back in her chair, ignoring her roast pheasant for the moment. “I am surprised you did not send all the other girls home at once, since it seems clear that you have already made your choice.”

Of course I knew she was teasing, but even so I frowned a little. Would that I had such an option! However, even an emperor must follow the rules…especially if they are rules he invented in the first place.

My sister and I dined alone — or as alone as we could be, with no fewer than five servants waiting to accommodate our every whim. But I had already decreed that I wanted a quiet supper this evening, as such an elaborate one was planned for the following evening. By the good grace of the gods, my mother pleaded a sick headache from being out of doors for too long, and retired to her rooms as soon as we entered the palace. Her absence meant that Lyarris and I could more or less converse freely; I had long since stopped worrying about whether the servants would gossip. Of course they would, amongst themselves, but over the years enough servitors with loose tongues had lost their positions…or worse…that they knew better than to spread their stories any further than the palace walls.

“Ashara Millende,” my sister mused. “’Tis a pretty name, albeit one I have not heard before. Has she never been to court?”

“I think not, or I would have recalled her. No doubt she’s from a family who keeps to the country. I shall have Keldryn look into it on the morrow, to see what he can learn of her and her people.” I lifted my own neglected wine before asking, “And what of you, sister? I was gone for some hours — did you have the opportunity to spend any of that time with Lord Sorthannic?”

“I did not,” she replied calmly. “He did not attend the reception at all, but went home directly after the tournament. Although he was the victor, he feared that his horse had pulled a muscle, and wanted it seen to as soon as possible. Or at least that is what I heard,” she added, in a casual tone that did not fool me at all.

“Poor luck…for you and the horse.”

She shook her head and lifted a forkful of roast fowl, though she did not put it in her mouth at once. Instead she remarked, “I think it would be better, Torric, if you focused your energies on your own future spouse. I most certainly do not need you playing matchmaker.”

Fine words. However, that was precisely what I would have to play at some point, for I was the only one with the power to oversee such an undertaking. A decision would have to be made one day, of course. Oddly, the thought of marrying off my sister did not cause quite as much of a pang as it had even a few days ago. Perhaps it was that I had seen the woman I wanted, envisioned now a future with someone by my side, and therefore did not need to cling as tightly to my one sympathetic companion as I once did.

But in one thing Lyarris was right. Now was the time for me to focus on my future wife, and that meant finding out as much about her as possible.

“
T
here is not much
, Your Majesty,” Lord Keldryn said, spreading his hands in apology. “Yes, there was an Allyn Millende, who died some ten years ago. His second wife has the management of his estate, by all accounts, although she has her primary residence here in the capital, and has let out the holdings in the country. There was a daughter — or rather, daughters. I believe the second wife had at least one, but it is difficult to tell for sure, as records concerning daughters are often not as complete as those involving sons.”

“But are they a good family, Keldryn?” I asked, folding my hands on my desktop and fixing him with an expectant stare.

My chancellor lifted his shoulders. “As to that, Your Majesty, certainly there is no hint of scandal associated with them, and the lands have been in the family for hundreds of years. Some good connections, as it appears the second wife’s younger sister is married to the Baron of Delanir. Nothing exceptional in any of it, as far as I can tell so far. A quiet household, from what I can ascertain. Their circle is…ahem…not quite elevated enough to have brought them to court ere this time.”

I thought I detected the slightest note of disapproval in his tone but decided not to comment on it. Keldryn had not been pleased that my invitation had extended all the way down to daughters of baronets, and now that it seemed my attention had fixed on one of those undesirables, I surmised he was even less satisfied with the situation. Not that I cared; Ashara Millende was still of gentle birth, if not the daughter of a duke or earl, and her family seemed respectable enough.

“Very good, Keldryn,” I said. “That will be all.”

He bowed, but I noted something reluctant in his manner, and his progress to the door was a good deal slower than usual.

Oh, these games — how I wearied of them. For of course he could not come out and say directly what was bothering him, but had to engage in the sort of foot-dragging one might expect from a reluctant five-year-old. “Out with it,” I said. “What bothers you, Keldryn?”

The droopy hound expression was back with a vengeance. “Only that — perhaps, Your Majesty — perhaps it would be wiser not to show such a preference quite so early in the process. Baron Lhastir Aldrenne was…somewhat disturbed…to hear from his daughter that you singled out this Ashara Millende with a compliment, when you did not pay one to any of the other girls in the pavilion.”

Lhastir Aldrenne. The man was odious, puffed up with his own importance, not only because of the size of his barony, but also because it happened to encompass lands that contained the richest gold mines in Sirlende. Those mines had made his father think he could hold his riches over my own father, in order to fund the campaign to regain the crown from the usurper. And yes, that wealth had come in useful, but the debt had been repaid in more land, and not the elevation to earl or even duke that the current baron’s father had hoped for. Apparently that sting had not been forgotten, even a quarter-century later. No wonder he was nettled by the news that I had preferred someone of lesser birth to his own precious daughter.

“As to that,” I drawled, leaning back in my chair and fixing Keldryn with a hard stare, “I would rather have a viper in my bed than that sharp-tongued daughter of his, so they might as well give up any hopes they may have in that direction. I’ll admit she’s more or less pleasing to the eye — that is, until she opens her mouth. At any rate, if
Baron
Aldrenne has any problems with the way I am comporting myself, then he can bring them to me directly, instead of using you like some schoolgirl carrying tales. That is all, Keldryn.”

He bowed at once and hurried out of the room, no doubt wishing to be gone before I uttered any more choice words on the subject of Lhastir Aldrenne…or his unpleasant daughter.

After my chancellor had shut the door behind him, I sat up abruptly, and then pushed my chair away so I might go to the window. Not that the prospect there was so very pleasing; a grey mist hung heavily on the city, so thick that most likely it would not clear at all. I supposed I should be glad that the weather had stayed fair until the tournament was safely over, but Keldryn’s words had nettled me, and I found myself restless, wishing it were this evening, and not barely two hours past noon.

Many floors below my suite, I had no doubt the palace buzzed and hummed with activity, the kitchens working at a double pace to prepare the food for such a large crowd, even as a veritable army of maids fanned out through the rooms where the gathering would be held, dusting and scrubbing and mopping. In an odd way, I envied them their tasks, although of course I had never held a broom or a mop in my life. At least they had something to occupy them, whereas I…

It is your own fault
, I told myself.
You told Keldryn to clear your calendar for this week, so you might focus on your search for a bride. Is it any wonder that now you find yourself idle?

Not that listening to ambassadors from South Eredor or Farendon droning on about trade agreements and shipping disputes would have been a very attractive alternative.

At least it was good news that Keldryn had brought me. He had not found anything exceptional about the Millende family, so it seemed I was safe enough to pursue this Ashara…if that was what I truly intended to do. Perhaps for once Keldryn was right, and it would be less than wise for me to exhibit such an interest so early in the game.

No, that was foolish. If the girl had taken my fancy, why should I not increase the acquaintance, see where things might lead? I was the Emperor of Sirlende; no one should be dictating to me what I could or could not do.

Then I let out a bitter laugh. Once, when I was very young, I might have believed such a fairy tale, but nearly five years on the throne had taught me otherwise.

A knock at the door to my suite, and Kraine, the burly guard-cum-footman who was on duty that day, went to it to reveal my sister. She nodded at him and smiled, then came further into the room and paused a few feet away from me, one eyebrow arched.

“Goodness, Torric, you’re looking positively sour. Should I check to see if any of the lemons are missing from one of the trees in the kitchen gardens?”

“Very amusing.”

She hesitated, and cast a quick glance at Kraine. He bowed immediately and stepped outside, giving us as much privacy as we would ever have.

“Truly,” she said, once he had shut the door behind him, “I thought to see you brimming with excitement over this evening, and yet you appear instead to have the aspect of someone awaiting an appointment with the tooth surgeon.”

I made an offhand gesture, then turned away from her and stared out the window once more. “It is nothing. I am merely impatient for this afternoon to be done with, so that I might be at the dinner.”

“And see her again?”

“I suppose that will depend on the seating arrangements,” I said, my tone deliberately indifferent.

“And of course you have no say in those.”

My sister had me there, for of course all I had to do was drop a word in Lord Hein’s ear, and Ashara Millende would be seated as close to me as propriety allowed. Not beside me — no, those places of honor were reserved for my sister and my mother. But the young woman might be ensconced very near, even directly across from me, if I made my wishes known. I could only imagine the expression on Baron Aldrenne’s face at such a maneuver, and almost sent for my seneschal then and there, so I might let him make the arrangements.

But no, that would not be wise. The baron was doomed to disappointment in this matter, for his daughter was the very last I would ever wish to choose. Even so, there was no need to purposely antagonize him. I would let fate decide. There were so very many young women, and there would be many tables set up besides the high table at which I, my family, and certain high-ranked lords and their wives would be seated. If, in spite of all that, Ashara Millende still was seated within speaking distance, then I would know there was some greater power at work here, and I would let it do as it willed.

“Apparently my conduct toward the Lady Ashara has already been noted in certain quarters, so I will have to be more circumspect in the future. And that means leaving the seating arrangements strictly alone.”

A slight shake of her head, and my sister replied, “Circumspect? That is so unlike you.”

I shot her a pained look. “Truly, I have very little opportunity to be anything but circumspect, as my entire life is governed by etiquette and tradition. As is yours.”

The amused glint disappeared from her eyes, and she watched me carefully. “Too well I know that, even if I try to forget it as best I can.”

“And does it ever weary you? Do you ever long to escape?”

She smiled then, but it was a small, sad smile. “I think everyone does, from time to time. The bricklayer must weary of his labor in the warm sun, and the seamstress must tire of staring at row upon row of stitches, ruining her eyesight to make sure they are all even. And when I think of them, or people like them, then I think I should not be overly dissatisfied with my lot. I never have to worry about being hungry, or cold, or whether I shall earn enough to put food in the mouths of my children. So perhaps we have our own prison, but it is a very fine one, a cell that most people would happily be confined within.”

I could not recall ever hearing her speak in such a fashion before, and I stared at her in some surprise. “And have you spoken with these bricklayers and seamstresses, so you might know their minds?”

“I have spoken to more people than you might imagine, Torric. I speak to my maids and my wardrobe mistress and the cooks and the footmen. You see me writing all the time, but have you ever asked me what it is that I am writing?”

To my shame, I had not. I thought perhaps she was writing letters — although to whom, I did not know — or perhaps was setting down some sort of memoir.

My silence seemed to be the only answer she required. “I am writing the stories they tell me, Torric. Sometimes it is tales their mothers or grandmothers have told them, and sometimes it is accounts of things which have occurred in their own lives. They are not merely servants, but people with their own lives and hopes and fears. They speak to me, because I encourage it, and hearing their stories allows me to live a life beyond what I have here in the palace. And so I write them down, that they may not be forgotten.”

I reflected then how it was that I could spend so much time with her, speak of so many things, and yet never have discussed this with her before. I said as much, and she lifted her shoulders.