Ashes of Twilight (10 page)

“I know what I saw and what I heard. It’s something I will never forget.” I look around the cave, at the faces I’ve known my entire life. I see the doubt and the betrayal they think I’ve committed. “I have not lied to you.” There is nothing else for me to say, so I go. I stop in the tunnel when I realize I’ve left my lunch pail behind. I dare not go back in, the humiliation is too strong. I am tempted to listen and see what is said about me, to know if anyone will stand up for me.

James’s revenge, which I could never imagine, is complete. At least Peggy still feels some compassion for me, as she comes out with my pail and leads me to a small alcove off the tunnel. Dim light pours out from the meeting place and we are nothing but shadows, grays and browns against the dark earth. It is hard to see her face but I know her so well that I realize her intent. She wants to make things better. She wants to make the hurt go away and go back to the way things were when we were children and believed the best of everything.

“You could have told me about the boy,” she says. “I would have understood.”

“There was nothing to tell…”

“I always wondered where you went.” Peggy has always been single-minded. I know her well enough to let her talk it out, even though I shake with anger and disappointment. “You didn’t talk to me as much once you started going topside after your shifts…”

I want to answer her. And tell her we grew apart because of Adam, and her engagement. Because we worked in different places. Because when we did manage to talk she was full of plans for a future beneath the ground and I was looking at the dome, wondering if there was a way out.

“I don’t understand why you don’t want to be with James,” she continues. “You know he’ll be on the council someday, which means you’ll get to live in one of the nicer homes…”

The meeting is over. The seekers come out in small groups, their heads together, talking about me and my betrayal. A few look our way and shush the others so I will not overhear their words. I watch for James over Peggy’s shoulder. He’s the last one to come out. He stops and stares at me while Peggy continues, oblivious to what’s going on behind us. I think he will stop her and make her come with him, but he doesn’t. He just turns and walks away.

I realize while she is speaking that in one way James is right. I may not have taken a lover in the world above, but I have looked outside my world for something more, just as Lucy did. Our motives were different, but our desires the same. My leanings, while not a conscious decision, are still made, nonetheless. I will never be the same to the shiners, and I will never look at them in the same way again.

I no longer belong. Yet I have no place else to go. I realize that Peggy has stopped talking. Her eyes are upon me, shining in the dim light, nothing more than a reflection of her hopes for me.

“You’re thinking about him now, aren’t you? You’re planning to leave, just like Lucy.” She grabs my arm. “You can’t go, Wren. He’s wanted for murder and the filchers will be after you. You’ve got to stay here. You’ve got to stay safe.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” I say. “Except to work.”

“It’s going to be harder now,” Peggy says. “For us to be friends. I have to think of Adam, and James … and their futures. I ca—”

I cut her off before she can say anything else. “I understand. Don’t worry about it.”

She smiles brightly. “I can walk back with you.”

“I’d like that.”

We walk on, without conversation, back to the main tunnels, and then we part ways, me to the stables and Peggy back to the village. I keep my head down as I work with the ponies, hoping beyond hope that James’s accusations have not been voiced down in the mines. It’s a lot to hope for but still I do. I don’t want to cause my grandfather any more pain than he’s already felt. It isn’t until I lead the first cart down into the mine that I realize Peggy and I were the last ones out. And we left the canary behind.

8

The library is
one of the most sacred places in the dome. Only on rare occasions are the shiners allowed to enter, and this is after we’ve been inspected to make sure our bodies are clean so we will not contaminate the books. We’re not allowed to take them out as the royals are. Books are one of our most precious commodities. As a child I could barely contain my excitement when we were allowed to go in. I would listen with rapt attention to the stories my grandfather read to me, and later, when I was older, and able to turn the pages carefully, I would study the drawings of faraway places, all made before the comet came and burned up the world.

I want nothing more than to be in a faraway place when my shift starts and everyone I come into contact with looks at me with doubt. James’s accusations, like everything else in our world, travel quickly, whispered from mouth to ear and moving into the tunnels as quickly as the water runs through our village. Whether by his choice, or happenstance, I do not see my grandfather and for that I am grateful.

I have to clear my name. The only way I can is with the truth. The only one who knows the truth is Pace. I have to meet him. I can only pray that he can avoid capture until then. He knows what happened to Alex.

The sky is blue …

I have to admit to myself that it’s about more than just clearing my name. I need to know what it was Alex saw.

Things are not always what they seem …
They aren’t for me either.

According to the flyer the filchers are after me. Riding the lift to the surface would be a sure way to be caught, so I hurry through the older tunnels that run closer to the surface. I search for an escape hatch, one that will lead me close to the library. I did not take the time to grab a lamp and they are few and far between in this part; still I move quickly, my eyes seeing the different hues of darkness that make up the twists and turns.

The tunnels in this part of the mines have been reinforced, multiple times. The air is stale and old. There is a watery trail down the center of the tunnel that stinks of waste. That is not a good sign. I hear a drip off to the side. I don’t want to think about where it comes from.

Suddenly another noise echoes through the dark quiet. A rock skittering through the water? I freeze in my tracks, every part of my body straining to hear something recognizable. Could someone be following me? Moments pass in which I feel as if my heart is going to pound through my chest. It is so loud that I can’t hear anything but the beating, so I take a deep breath and will my body to calm down. If I’m this frightened in the tunnels how can I possibly hope to avoid the filchers?

I have to move. I told Pace to meet me at dawn and I know it is coming. I can feel it inside me, a pulling in my body and a craving for the soft morning light. I move onward, quietly and carefully, in case someone is following me.

It’s just a rat …
Why would anyone want to follow me? I convince myself that my imagination has run away and created threats that simply aren’t there as I come to the ladder that will carry me up to dome level. The struts are old and weak and I can only pray that they hold me as I climb ever upward. If I fall I would lay forever in the darkness, waiting for someone to find me.

The rats would find me …

My fears are getting the best of me. I cannot allow it. To do so will compromise me when I go above. I convince myself that my imagination is once more running away as I steadily climb. Suddenly a strut breaks beneath my foot and I dangle precariously in the air for what seems like an eternity before my foot finds the next step and I hold on for dear life, too far up to go back and too frightened to go on.

Is this worth dying over?
I should be home, in our little house, in the cavern below. I should be in my bed, with the covers pulled up to my chin and a cat curled up next to me. As I press my forehead against the cool dark dirt of the access tunnel I cannot help but think of all the things I’d rather be doing.

But then what will happen? Does the prospect of getting up every evening, going to the mines, coming home and going to bed, and then repeating it again and again until I die, suffocated by the death of my lungs, give meaning to my life? After James’s accusations I am destined to be alone. I see my future stretching out ahead of me, dark and lonely. Shouldn’t there be more to life than this? Is that what drove Alex? To show Lucy that there could be more?

My life, whatever it was, is forever changed. I can never go back to that innocence, not after James’s accusations. Not after Alex’s death. I have to move upward and onward. I have to go above. It’s either that or die right here, lost and without hope.

I take a deep breath and climb. It’s a long way but finally I see the wooden hatch above me, growing closer with every step up the ladder. The latch is rusty and it takes every bit of my strength to slide it open and push the hatch upward. I climb out and lie on the smooth dirt for a moment, taking the time to catch my breath and contemplate what I am about to do.

I am in one of the access tunnels for the subterranean part of the dome. Our hatch opens into a storage area. From here I move into the channel that holds the vents and lines that bring power to the royals. Below me are the sewers. I hear the rush of water running beneath the wooden boards that creak as I crawl on all fours toward the service entrance. I listen to make sure no one is around before I cautiously emerge in a dark alley.

My original plan had been to go to my usual spot and watch to see if Pace showed up. Now, with the warrant issued for me, I decide that I should stay to the shadows, as I am certain the filchers more than likely know my usual haunts. I pull my scarf up over the lower part of my face and loosen my hair from its band so it will fall forward and around my face. For once I am happy for the unruly curliness as it will help cover me and hopefully obscure the shine of my eyes. My goggles will identify me as a shiner for certain so I stuff them into my pants pocket.

I see no one except for a lonely cat investigating an overturned can of trash as I make my way to the library. The light is already filtering in from above and I know Max and his coworkers are more than likely already above. I realize I should not risk going to the roof of the library. If I can find a safe enough place, I can wait and watch for Pace.

I am lucky as the smoke is thick this morning. With the shortage of coal the ruling committee has had to turn the fans back at night. I think it is a stupid ruling as the fans will only have to work harder when they are turned up to disperse the gathered smoke. But as no one has asked my opinion on such things I keep the thought to myself. Still, it won’t be long until it is light and the smoke and fog will clear and I will be vulnerable. As will Pace.

I refuse to think that he has been captured. It is certainly a possibility. A full day has gone by since I saw him and so much has happened in my life. I don’t want to think about what I will do if he does not appear. It has come down to this. My very life depends on what he knows. On what I hope he will tell me.

I find a spot in the alley behind the library. I fade into the shadows of a doorway that leads into a basement and keep an eye on the network of stairs that lead to the roof of the building. I do not have long to wait, as a figure appears out of the smoke and stares upward.

Is it Pace? I cannot tell. His head is covered with a hood. He is not wearing his uniform. He’s dressed more like a scarab and the thought that it could be a filcher sends me back into the shadows with a gasp. He turns toward the sound and once more I feel that burning sensation and know that his eyes are upon me. The one thing I had not considered when I dropped into my hiding place was the prospect of a quick escape. I can only pray that he is alone as I dart my eyes back and forth in hopes of finding some sort of weapon.

“Wren?” He takes a step toward me.

It’s Pace. Even with his face hidden in the shadow of his hood, I recognize the fall of his dark hair across his forehead, the lean angle of his jaw, and the bright blue blaze of his eyes as he takes another step.

“Shhh,” I say as I climb out of my hiding place. I hear the creak of the dome washers moving their baskets above us. Footsteps sound on the street beyond but they are distorted in swirling smoke and fog. I cannot tell if it is close or far away, if it is one, or many.

He shakes his head as he comes to me. What I thought before were shadows on his face turn out to be bruises. There is a cut over one of his eyes that fades into the slash of his brow. Dark circles show beneath his eyes and I realize that, like me, he has had no rest since Alex died.

And he is wanted for murder.

“I didn’t do it,” he says, as if reading my mind. “I need a place to hide. I need time to figure this out.”

A thousand thoughts fall through my mind as I look at his face. It is forbidden to bring anyone below, especially a bluecoat. What will my grandfather say? What will the council say? Where will I hide him? More thoughts follow, each one piling upon the last until I fear the weight of them will crush me. With a sudden burst of clarity I realize I’ve already made the decision. I made it when I decided to come to the surface. The only thing I need to decide now is where to hide him.

I hold out my hand. Pace looks at it as if it’s something he’s never seen before. Then a look of such intense relief washes over his face and he takes it. I realize that he is shaking. I give his fingers a squeeze and he squeezes mine back.

“Thank you.”

I nod. I even manage to smile. Beyond Pace I see two men walk into the alleyway. The smoke is so thick that I’m not certain if they are real or some sort of ghostly apparition. Then the fans suddenly start and they stop and look and their faces are covered with the filchers’ masks. The fear must show on my face because Pace turns to see what I am staring at.

We run.

*   *   *

I always thought I knew what fear was. Before today fear was worrying about being late for my shift. Wondering if I’d get caught and disciplined for going to the rooftops. The possibility of a cave-in down in the mines. Now I know exactly what fear is. It’s the bone-chilling, sick-to-your-stomach knowledge that if you get caught you are going to die a slow and horrible death.