Authors: JJ Black
Tags: #Erotic Romance eBooks Totally Bound eBooks Books Romance
“Tell me why you would betray Dreo like this. Why, Balen?”
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“You wouldn’t understand,” the blond Demon snarled.
“Try me.”
“My whole life has been a lie. I couldn’t live with it anymore. I had do to something—
change something.”
“By killing the Lord of the Underworld? Are you out of your mind?”
Balen looked away, but not before Gray caught a glimpse of something that looked a lot
like regret on his handsome face. “Lord Lucifer’s death was unfortunate. It was an
unplanned inconvenience. I just wanted to speak with him—make him admit what he had
done. He needed to take responsibility. His death has made that impossible.”
“Responsibility for what?”
“For his crime,” Balen said simply, a faraway look on his face.
“What was his crime?” Gray probed, confusion warring with his sense of self-
preservation. If he could understand the reasoning behind Balen’s defection, maybe Gray
could convince him to turn himself in to Dreo without any more violence.
Balen watched him, head cocked curiously. “You’d like to know his crime, Oracle? Why
don’t I show you?”
Before Gray had a chance to process his words, Balen grabbed his wrist in a near-
crushing grip. Gray didn’t understand his action until he felt his vision start to blur.
What the
hell!
It seemed that Balen had picked up a few things from working with an Oracle.
Somehow, he had learned how to force a vision and had decided to demonstrate his skill.
Whatever Balen wanted Gray to see must have been pretty important to him because forcing
a vision took an incredible amount of energy. He had to be desperate to go this route.
Questioning the other man’s mental status, Gray was sure he didn’t want to see anything
Balen wanted to show him. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem that Gray was going to get a choice.
Gray’s vision continued to blur then darken. He waited for the oily sensation that
always accompanied his truly horrific visions, but it never came. He was both surprised and
relieved. Maybe the vision wouldn’t be as bad had he had expected. As his vision went black,
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Balen’s grip gentled slightly but remained firmly around his wrist. The heavy weight was
surprisingly comforting in the face of what was to come.
When the images started, Gray was surprised by the normalcy of what he was seeing.
A stunning young woman smiled, her long platinum hair swirling around her as she danced to
an unheard melody. The same woman, walking through the streets of the Underworld, arm in arm
with a young Lord Lucifer, a shy smile playing on her lips. Lucifer, again embracing the woman before
taking her mouth in a passionate kiss. The woman again, this time heavily pregnant, pleading with
Lord Lucifer’s personal advisor for a chance to speak with the Demon king, only to be forcibly removed
by the sneering little man with an order never to return. The woman, her once luminous smile now
only a small, tired mockery of what it had once been. She held the hand of a small, beautiful blond boy
as they made their way through crowded streets to the small, rundown apartment they called home.
And finally, an adult Balen, hunched over the bedside of the woman, her face drawn and pale. No
longer the beauty she had once been, she appeared to be wasting away before Gray’s eyes. Small hints
of the woman she had once been still lingered, making it clear that Balen could be none other than her
son. She raised a wasted hand to his face, gently cupping his rugged jaw and graced him with a small
smile, an act that seemed to take much more effort than should have been possible. She whispered quiet
words of love and regret to the adult Balen. She spoke until both her words and strength failed her.
Only then did she finally succumb to the death she had been forced to fight for much too long.
As Gray’s vision returned, he was surprised at the wetness on his cheeks. He had
learned a long time ago to separate himself from what he was seeing or risk losing himself to
the devastation that accompanied most of his visions. The woman’s story—her courage and
sacrifice—tore through him, becoming a throbbing pain in his chest.
Looking up, Gray met Balen’s red-rimmed eyes, the pain in them no longer muted, but
fresh and all-consuming in its intensity. Gray wanted to reach out and comfort the man who
had loved her and suffered by her side for so long. The man who had once been that sweet,
blond-haired boy who’d loved his mother more than anything else in the world. The boy
whose greatest wish was that one day, if he tried hard enough—could be good enough—
maybe his mother would smile at him, just once, with real joy in her eyes. His greatest
sorrow was that he had never seen that dream become a reality.
Gray wanted to wrap that boy in his arms and tell him that it hadn’t been his fault. He
wanted to explain that sometimes a loss is too great—too consuming—to ever really come
back from. Gray wanted to explain to the boy that an evil man, thirsty for power, had played
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games with his life and destroyed what should have been. Even now, after riding along on
the vision, Gray didn’t think Balen truly understood what had happened all those years ago
to cause so much devastation in the woman he’d loved more than his own life. Emotion and
false information clouded his judgement, keeping him from being able to see that he, his
mother and even his father had been used as pawns in one man’s desperate attempt to gain
power.
“Balen,” Gray rasped, his throat thick with tears. “I’m so sorry—”
“No!” Balen choked out. His voice had an edge that told Gray the other man was on the
verge of losing it. “You don’t understand. I don’t want to hear that you’re sorry. I don’t want
your pity. I need you to witness his crime. People have to see that the great Lord Lucifer
wasn’t the man everyone always believed him to be. They need to know what he did to her.”
Balen was right. Gray didn’t understand. His vision had been heartbreaking, true, but
there hadn’t been any crime—at least not one that Gray had been aware of. He was just about
to tell the Demon as much, when he saw the raw desperation in Balen’s eyes. Despite his
erratic behaviour, it was clear that Balen truly believed what he was saying. In Gray’s
opinion, that unwavering belief justified another look. Reaching out, he placed a comforting
hand on Balen’s arm and gave it a squeeze.
“You’re going to have to explain it to me, Balen. What is it that I’m supposed to see?”
Balen eyed him warily, as if he was expecting Gray to mock him for his belief. Gray
gave him a reassuring smile, hoping the other man could see that he really did want to help
him if he could. After a moment’s hesitation, Balen’s shoulders relaxed marginally and his
eyes softened. Gray was going to take it as a good sign.
“What do you know of Demon matings?”
“Honestly, not much. I haven’t had a lot of experience with Demons until recently. The
only information I know is what Dreo mentioned in passing.” Balen watched him
expectantly but said nothing. Gray shrugged, confused by the new direction of their
conversation. “He just told me was that it was extremely rare for a Demon to find their true
mate.”
“He told you nothing else?”
Frustrated with Balen’s ambiguity, Gray struggled to remember details from his earlier
conversation with Dreo. If he was being honest, Gray hadn’t really paid that much attention,
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deeming the information unnecessary since it had nothing to do with him.
Funny how things
change
, he thought, chagrined. A flash of memory hit him, then, bringing back more of their
conversation, as well as a growing understanding of what Balen was trying to make him see.
“He said that Demons are sterile until they meet their true mate. That’s why it’s so rare
to see a Demon child and why many Demons choose to convert humans. It’s the closest
many will have to ever having a child of their own.” Gray’s mind was spinning, his thoughts
running in a million different directions, trying to process what he thought he knew until
they coalesced into one cohesive thought.
“Lord Lucifer was your mother’s true mate.”
If Gray had thought his understanding would make Balen happy, he was destined for
disappointment. Balen’s brows drew together and a frown formed on his lips, marring the
normal beauty of his otherwise handsome face. Gray could understand his anger. Balen’s
mother’s love for the Demon Lord had ultimately led to her depression and subsequent
death. She hadn’t been able to cope with the loss of her mate, holding on long enough for her
son to reach adulthood before succumbing to the mercy of death. It was a tragedy.
Gray’s mind raced as he digested what he had learned. While he didn’t know much
about Demon matings, he knew a lot about the bond between Shifter mates and assumed
many of the aspects would carry over. Most para matings had a similar core structure. Right
away he was struck with a blaring warning sign.
“I don’t understand. If they were mates, how was he able to leave your mother? With
Shifters, once they meet their mate that’s it. They will never love another and it would be
impossible for them to leave their mate.”
“You understand perfectly,” Balen sneered. “Demon matings are not so different from
other para matings. As my mother’s true mate, Lucifer should never have been able to walk
away from her. When Demons mate, there is a blood bond that essentially ties two lives
together. It increases the strength of the mated pair, while also making it necessary for mates
to stay together or face illness and possible death.”
“If that’s the case, how did Lord Lucifer manage to stay away from your mother all
those years?”
“I don’t know,” Balen answered solemnly. “It should have been impossible. The only
answer I have been able to come up with is that Lucifer had to have found a way to mute or
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destroy his side of the bond. Otherwise, there would have been no way he could have left my
mother without suffering from similar side effects. I’ve done my research. At the very least,
he would have suffered from lethargy, mood swings and a general weakening of his powers.
At worst, he would have suffered the same fate as my mother,” Balen snarled, anger and loss
rolling off him in waves.
Gray pondered Balen’s words. No matter how he tried to spin the facts, the situation
still didn’t make sense to him. Why would a powerful man, the leader of his people, choose
to weaken himself rather than claim the woman fate had chosen to be his alone? The simplest
answer was—he wouldn’t. There would have been no benefit in it and, in Gray’s experience,
powerful men didn’t make decisions where there was no benefit for themselves. That being
said, it begged the question—who would have benefitted from Lord Lucifer’s weakness?
“Tricky, tricky, tricky,” Gray murmured.
“Excuse me?”
Gray jolted, not realising he had spoken aloud. “Sorry,” he stammered, “I was just
thinking.”
“What were you thinking?” Balen asked sceptically.
“I was thinking—either Lord Lucifer was really stupid, or someone else was very
smart.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Balen asked, his irritation clear.
“If Lord Lucifer had become too weak to rule, who would have been next in line for the
throne?”
Balen jerked, his expression startled. “Why would that matter? I don’t see what that has
to do with anything.”
“Well, think about it. In your scenario, Lord Lucifer gives up his mate, his child, a
chunk of his power and is also suffering physical side effects. Where does it get good for
him? I see him losing everything good in his life and getting nothing back in return. Why
would anyone do that?” Gray raised a brow in challenge.
“Maybe it wasn’t about what he would gain,” Balen shot back belligerently. “Maybe he
just didn’t want to be saddled with a mate and a kid and he was willing to give up anything
to get rid of us.” It was clear in his tone, not even Balen believed that explanation. That being
the case, they were back to Gray’s original question—who had the most to gain?
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Gray was so busy considering the possibilities that by the time he sensed an additional
presence, it was already too late. Gray noticed a displacement in the air behind him a
moment before something cold and hard snapped into place around his neck.