Askance (3 page)

“He would have seen my scars.” Her voice came out in a whisper.

Niiko sighed. “I am sure that you are aware that I have a different criterion for attraction. I want to see joy in Maksuan’s soul. He had a few flickers of that this afternoon.”

“It was probably when Thira had her hand in his lap.”

Niiko snorted. “No, it was when he saw you caressing the flowers. The Yeruan are attracted to women who like to take things slowly. It woke any number of instincts in him and not one of them was linked to pity.”

“Do you honestly think that he will not be disgusted by the marks on me?” Silari needed an honest answer.

“I think he will pity you for the pain that you were put through and admire you for surviving. He has his own issues that he can explain to you in time, but for now, know that he is definitely more interested in you than any of the others.” Niiko lifted her hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to her wrist where her scars started.

Light cascaded and painted her marks on her skin in a glow that lit the night. Her belly, calves and arms all wore the designs carved into her physical body.

“This is much prettier than the real thing.”

“If I promised that it could be the everyday appearance of your marks, would you be more favourable?” Niiko led her to the quartz wall and showed her how to enter the cavern behind it.

A huge chamber waited for them once they slipped through the narrow and well-hidden hallway.

“Wow. I know that this is of your doing, because I have never seen anything remotely like it.” Silari looked around at the images carefully carved onto the quartz walls by expert and ancient hands.

Columns of images depicting what she imagined to be the first Avatar of Niiko covered every surface.

“She was Caragial, a lovely woman who had an open heart and a generous spirit. When I walked within her, Caragial’s people listened and obeyed both my words and her knowledge of their customs. We walked together for one thousand and one hundred years before she asked to rest.”

Silari stared at the walls and moved on to the next Avatar. “Who was he?”

“Orac. He was killed before we could completely bond.” Niiko was grim.

It didn’t take much for Silari to figure it out. “You destroyed him.”

Niiko nodded shortly. “He wanted power, eternal life and the opportunity to take advantage of his own people. This was hidden from me until we started to bond. When I read his true intent, I simply gave him everything without building him up before I did it.”

“Is that what normally happens?” She bit her lip as she proceeded to the next set of images.

“Yes, most planets take an Avatar in a series of stages. The first stage strengthens the Avatar, gives them power to survive the changes. The second stage alters their bodies, creates new nerve channels and locks their physical state. The third stage is moving into their minds. Once the first few changes have been enacted, the third can take place over an extended period of time.”

Silari walked to the next set of carved images. A woman about to be executed but she stood and green light flared out of her eyes, killing the invading army.

“You took her during a battle.”

“I did. I had to give her only enough power to help subdue the invading army, but once she was mine, they stood back. They didn’t know that she wasn’t fully mine at that point, but Ukani was a treasure. She was my Avatar for eight hundred years. She met a male, fell in love and wanted a family. I carefully released her and she got to live out her life as she chose to.”

A singular image of another male made her frown. “How long did he last?”

“Parkalo was only my Avatar for eighty years. When Ukani came to visit me for the last time, she brought her grandson, Maksuan. Parkalo and I had never been a perfect fit and he was only too happy to resign and begin a normal life of his own. That was over three hundred years ago and Maksuan and I have been together since then.”

“It sounds like you are happy with the pairing.”

“I am, but I fear that he will wish to leave me as his grandmother did. If he has a mate of his own, this is less likely.”

“You don’t want him to leave you.” Unable to control herself, she reached up to trace the relief carving of Maksuan in the rock. She also knew another thing—Niiko carved these images himself.

“I want to keep him with me and I will provide him with everything I can think of to keep him happy. He has not been happy for a very long time.”

Silari smiled and looked up at Niiko. “If he is waiting for someone in particular, I don’t think I will fit the bill.”

Niiko smiled and pressed another kiss to her wrist. “I think you are far closer to his match than you think.”

As she looked up into his face, he leaned forward and put a slow kiss on her lips. She was up on her toes with her heart pounding for a moment and then…

Silari sat up in the predawn gloom and looked at her arms. The glow was no longer visible, but her memory replayed the glowing details over and over again.

She got up and watched the light bring life and colour to the panorama offered to her by her windows. Morning was coming to Niiko and she couldn’t help but feel changed by the night before.

With a calm certainty, she took a shower and brushed her hair before getting dressed again. It was a new day for her and if Maksuan was amenable, she was prepared to accept his advances. She just hoped that she had not scared him off the previous evening when she dodged his kiss.

Chapter Five

Ten women were waiting in uncomfortable silence when Maksuan came in. Silari let her lips twitch into a grin as he took in the tense atmosphere with surprise.

“Good morning, ladies. Please come this way. We are to have breakfast and then a tour of some of the more interesting surrounding areas.” He gestured for them to follow him and turned on his heel to leave them behind.

Snorting and keeping away from the Selna, who was glaring daggers at her, Silari joined Linorial the Oefric and kept close to Ydella the Azon. They were interested in Maksuan, but they were not aggressive enough to try to destroy a competitor.

Breakfast was a quiet affair, Thira and Rashharna snuggled up next to their host once again, but he made an effort to speak to the other women at his table.

Servants ebbed and flowed around them while they ate and the moment that the dishes were cleared, Maksuan got to his feet.

“I have a skimmer waiting for us. Please, follow me.”

She caught that it was the second time that he had said
please
to the women who were under obligation to make themselves more attractive to him. There was no need for him to curry their favour. It was completely the other way around.

Silari took her position in the skimmer, choosing her seat for the best vantage point of the surroundings. While the others formed a semicircle around Maksuan, she was alone on the upper level of the open vehicle, enjoying the sights of Niiko.

The grasses were green with a hint of blue. The lakes and rivers were slightly more purple than those on Earth, but there was a definite similarity. Silari found that she had a smile on her face as they travelled and she didn’t care who was watching. To be out in the wild feeling air that had not been over processed by populations and industry was refreshing.

Her assignments had often taken her to the lowest areas of cities on worlds without Avatars. While several of the worlds were in a holding pattern, many had simply felt dead and the species living there had simply used what little life force it had until there was nothing left but buildings and highways. It was a strange system that killed the planet the populations lived on until there was nothing left and they had to move to another world. Criminal elements flourished on worlds that lacked a soul and Silari had apprehended quite a few of them.

To be on a planet that was fresh and alive was relaxing. The smile continued as the wind whipped through her hair and she felt the sun on her face.

When the skimmer stopped, she was disappointed but followed Maksuan and the others to a waterfall that reminded her of her dreams.

There was a wide meadow that was bracketed on either side by the quartz cliffs. The waterfall was much larger in reality than it had been in her dreams, but it was the same in every other respect.

Silari took a seat on the grass as the others stretched their legs. She wrapped her arms around her knees and stared at the waterfall, wishing that she had the nerve to see behind it.

The part of her that accepted that it was genuinely the waterfall in her dreams fought letting the other women in on her secret. If Niiko had visited any of them, there was no sign of it in their body language.

Maksuan eventually got away from Rashharna and he gracefully sat next to her on the grass. “You are staring very intently at that waterfall, Silari.”

“It reminds me of a dream I had once, Avatar.”

He gave her a surprised look and she turned her head to meet his gaze.

“You dreamed of this?”

She smiled slowly. “I dreamed of this, of the black sands of the Arekur Mountains and the oceans of the Perrigan continent. Looking at it, one could almost imagine what lay behind it.”

His mouth opened slightly in amazement. “This was a dream, you say?”

“It was. Sometime between midnight and dawn, my mind wandered the hills of Niiko.” She rested her cheek on her knees.

He nodded and blinked. “Why do you wear the concealing clothing? The others are all so minimally clothed that a good wind would render them indecent.”

Silari took in a deep breath. “I am scarred. My body bears the marks of a twisted soul who worked out his rage on my flesh. I hide the marks that I try to forget.”

A concerned frown crossed his brow. “May I see?”

Steeling herself, she extended her arm to him, tugging up her sleeve with her opposite hand.

Maksuan took her hand in his and gently trailed his fingers along the scars. “Do they hurt?”

“No. The medical centres were able to patch me up almost completely, but there was a chemical component that was added to the open wounds that changed my genetic composition within the cuts. This is as healed as they will ever be.”

Thira glided up and watched jealously as Maksuan caressed Silari’s hand. “Oh, that is disgusting. Are those marks all over your body?”

The loud voice got the attention of the other women and soon, women trying to look at her scars surrounded Silari and Maksuan. Maksuan swiftly tugged her sleeve back into place, but he kept her hand.

“They were acquired in the line of duty, ladies. I don’t regret the events that created them. I simply don’t show them off. Your repulsion is the exact reason why.” Her own repulsion was the other reason why, but they didn’t need to know that.

She tugged lightly at her hand, but Maksuan kept her fingers in his grip. He got to his feet and pulled her with him.

They walked to the skimmer and the other females drifted after them.

“Why are you holding my hand, Maksuan?” She bit her lip as soon as the words were out of her mouth.

“Because I believe that you need it, Silari. Now shush and have a seat. There is a challenge that I am certain you will be very interested in.”

“A challenge?” She breathed in and sighed as he settled her next to him in the front of the skimmer and the others silently took their places in the seats behind them.

“Yes. It seems that the remaining candidates all have much to offer and I wish them to take an active role in the Yeruan society. Tonight, we will have a gathering and it will be seen which of you can adapt best.” He released her hand and took the controls.

She nodded and tried to hide the flutter of fear. Formal gatherings meant formal clothing and she didn’t have anything concealing enough to wear with confidence.

Her nervous anticipation was boiling inside her by the time they were back at the residence.

The other women quietly filed out of the skimmer and into the building, but Maksuan caught her hand before she left. “You seem afraid.”

She swallowed the lump in her throat. “My wrists are not my only marks.”

“Then, I believe it is time to get them out in the open where they cannot hurt you anymore.” He ran his thumb along the shining skin at her wrist and she shivered at the gentleness in that small motion.

“Fine, but I don’t have anything to wear.”

“I will take care of it. All of the candidates will be wearing clothing provided, but it will be to simply make you a little more comfortable. Will you do it?” He raised a dark eyebrow and smiled.

She sighed at the sincerity in his dark eyes. “I will do it. It is what I am here for after all.”

His lips twisted in a sarcastic smile. “That’s the spirit, but I will take it. I am off to make arrangements, don’t get lost in the gardens again.”

Silari stifled any of the nineteen epithets that sprang to mind and instead, she walked back to the residence with as much dignity as she could muster. It wasn’t nearly as much as she would have hoped.

Chapter Six

When the box was delivered to her room, she blinked in surprise. It was larger than she thought it would be.

Wrapped only in a towel after her long soak, she opened the box carefully. “Oh wow.”

She was going to be embarrassed, but this clothing was far more interesting than it was exposing.

The skirt and top were simple rectangles of fabric and they were hung from a framework of dark gold in a swirling pattern that precisely matched her scars. The delicate silk framed against the dark metal gave her a peculiar sensation. She felt pretty, sensual and strong all at the same time. The matching cuffs and greaves that wrapped around her calves covered and highlighted her scars in turn. They were oddly comfortable.

The final accent to the outfit was a tiara that settled on her head and sparkled with a pattern of stars outlined in gems.

Silari looked in the mirror and saw all of her flaws marked and accentuated by the clothing. Surprisingly, she didn’t mind nearly as much as she thought she would.

Her feet were bare and the contact with the floor gave her a sensation of being anchored to the world below them.