Assassin's Blade (48 page)

“We’re not like that,” he whispered through his fingers.

Celaena sank onto the wooden bench. She knew exactly what he meant. The same thought had been echoing through her head as they walked here. They had been taught how to kill and maim and torture—she knew how to skin a man and keep him alive while doing it. She knew how to keep someone awake and coherent during long hours of torment—knew where to inflict the most pain without having someone bleed out.

Arobynn had been so, so clever about it, too. He’d brought in the most despicable people—rapists, murderers, rogue assassins who had butchered innocents—and he’d made her read all of the information he’d gathered on them. Made her read about all of the awful things they’d done until she was so enraged she couldn’t think straight, until she was
aching
to make them suffer. He’d honed her anger into a lethal blade. And she’d let him.

Before Skull’s Bay, she’d done it all and had rarely questioned it. She’d pretended that she had some moral code, lied to herself and said that since she didn’t
enjoy
it, it meant that she had some excuse, but … she had still stood in that chamber beneath the Assassins’ Keep and seen the blood flow toward the drain in the sloped floor.

“We
can’t
be like that,” Sam said.

She took his hands, easing them away from his face. “We’re not like Farran. We know how to do it, but we don’t enjoy it. That’s the difference.”

His brown eyes were distant as he watched the gentle current of the Avery making its way toward the nearby sea. “When Arobynn ordered us to do things like that, we never said no.”

“We had no choice. But we do now.” Once they left Rifthold,
they’d never have to make a choice like that again—they could create their own codes.

Sam looked at her, his expression so haunted and bleak it made her sick. “But there was always that part. That part that
did
enjoy it when it was someone who truly deserved it.”

“Yes,” she breathed. “Yes, there was always that part. But we still had a line, Sam—we still stayed on the other side of it. Lines don’t exist for someone like Farran.”

They weren’t like Farran—
Sam
wasn’t like Farran. She knew that in her bones. Sam would never be like Farran. He’d never be like
her
, either. She sometimes wondered if he knew just how dark she could turn.

Sam leaned against her, resting his head on her shoulder. “When we die, do you think we’ll be punished for the things we’ve done?”

She looked at the far bank of the river, where a row of ramshackle houses and docks had been built. “When we die,” she said, “I don’t think the gods will even know what to do with us.”

Sam glanced at her, a hint of amusement shining in his eyes.

Celaena smiled at him, and the world, for one flickering heartbeat, felt right.

The dagger whined as Celaena sharpened it, the reverberations shooting through her hands. Seated beside her on the floor of the great room, Sam pored over a map of the city, tracing streets with his fingers. The fireplace before them cast everything into flickering shadows, a welcome warmth on a chill night.

They had returned to the Vaults in time to see Farran entering his carriage again. So they spent the rest of the afternoon stalking him—more trips to the bank and other locations, more stops back at Jayne’s house. She’d gone off on her own for two hours to trail Jayne—to get
another subtle glimpse at the house and see where the Crime Lord went. It was two uneventful hours of figuring out where his spies hid on the streets, since Jayne didn’t emerge from the building at all.

If Sam planned to dispatch Farran tomorrow night, they agreed that the best time to do it would be when he took a carriage from the house to wherever else he had dealings, either for himself or Jayne. After a long day of running errands for Jayne, Farran was sure to be drained, his defenses sloppy. He wouldn’t know what was coming until his lifeblood spilled.

Sam would be wearing the special suit that the Master Tinkerer from Melisande had made for him, which in itself was its own armory. The sleeves possessed concealed built-in swords, the boots were specially designed for climbing, and, thanks to Celaena, Sam’s suit was equipped with an impenetrable patch of Spidersilk right over his heart.

Celaena had her own suit, of course—used only sparingly now that the convoy from Melisande had returned home. If either suit needed repairs, it’d be near impossible to find someone in Rifthold skilled enough. But dispatching Farran was definitely an occasion worth the risk. In addition to the suit’s defenses, Sam would also be equipped with the extra blades and daggers that Celaena was now sharpening. She tested an edge against her hand, smiling grimly as her skin stung. “Sharp enough to cut air,” she said, sheathing it and setting it down beside her.

“Well,” Sam said, eyes still flitting across the map, “let’s hope I don’t have to get close enough to use it.”

If all went according to plan, Sam would only need to fire four arrows: one each to disable the carriage driver and the footman, one for Farran—and one more just to make sure Farran was dead.

Celaena picked up another dagger and began sharpening that as well. She jerked her chin toward the map. “Escape routes?”

“A dozen planned already,” Sam said, and showed her. With Jayne’s house as a starting point, Sam had picked multiple streets in every direction where he could fire his arrows—which led to multiple escape routes that would get Sam away as quickly as possible.

“Remind me again why I’m not going?” The dagger in her hands let out a long whine.

“Because you’ll be here, packing?”

“Packing?” She stilled the sharpening knife in her hand.

He returned his attention to the map. Then he said, very carefully, “I secured us passage on a ship to the southern continent, leaving in five days.”

“The southern continent.”

Sam nodded, still focusing on the map. “If we’re going to get away from Rifthold, then we’re going to get away from this entire continent, too.”

“That wasn’t what we discussed. We decided to move to another city on
this
continent. And what if there’s
another
Assassins’ Guild on the southern continent?”

“Then we’ll ask to join them.”

“I’m not going to grovel to join some no-name guild and be subservient to some would-be infamous assassins!”

Sam looked up. “Is this really about your pride, or is it because of the distance?”

“Both!” She slammed down the dagger and the honing stone on the rug. “I was willing to move to a place like Banjali or Bellhaven or Anielle. Not to an entirely new continent—a place we hardly know
anything
about! That wasn’t part of the plan.”

“At least we’d be out of Adarlan’s empire.”

“I don’t give a damn about the empire!”

He sat back, propping himself on his hands. “Can’t you just admit that this is about Arobynn?”

“No. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Because if we sail for the southern continent, then he will
never
find us again—and I don’t think you’re quite ready to accept that.”

“My relationship with Arobynn is—”

“Is
what
? Over? Is that why you didn’t tell me that he came to visit yesterday?”

Her heart skipped a beat.

Sam went on. “While you were trailing Jayne today, he approached me in the street, and seemed surprised that you hadn’t said anything about his visit. He also told me to ask about what really happened before he found you half-dead on that riverbank when we were children.” Sam leaned forward, bracing a hand on the floor as he brought his face close to hers. “And you know what I told him?” His breath was hot on her mouth. “That I didn’t care. But he just kept trying to bait me, to make me not trust you. So after he walked away, I went right to the docks and found the first ship that would take us away from this damned continent. Away from
him
, because even though we’re out of the Guild, he will
never
leave us alone.”

She swallowed hard. “He said those things to you? About … about where I came from?”

Sam must have seen something like fear in her eyes, because he suddenly shook his head, his shoulders slumping. “Celaena, when you’re good and ready to tell me the truth, you’ll do it. And no matter what it is, when that day comes, I’ll be honored that you trust me enough to do so. But until then, it’s not my business, and it’s not Arobynn’s business. It’s not anyone’s business but your own.”

Celaena leaned her forehead against his, and some of the tightness in his body—and hers—melted away. “What if moving to the southern continent is a mistake?”

“Then we’ll move somewhere else. We’ll keep moving until we find the place where we’re meant to be.”

She shut her eyes and took a steadying breath. “Will you laugh if I say that I’m scared?”

“No,” he said softly, “never.”

“Maybe I should try your little trick.” She took another breath. “My name is Celaena Sardothien, and I will not be afraid.”

He did laugh then, a tickle of breath on her mouth. “I think you have to say it with a bit more conviction than that.”

She opened her eyes and found him watching her, his face a mixture of pride and wonder and such open affection that she could see that far-off land where they’d find a home, see that future that awaited them, and that glimmer of hope that promised happiness she’d never considered or dared yearn for. And even though the southern continent was a drastic change in their plans … Sam was right. A new continent for a new beginning.

“I love you,” Sam said.

Celaena wrapped her arms around him and held him close, breathing in his scent. Her only reply was, “I hate packing.”

CHAPTER
6

The next night, the clock on the mantel seemed to be stuck at nine o’clock. It had to be, because there was no way in hell that a minute could take
this
long.

She been trying to read for the past two hours—trying and failing. Even an utterly sinful romance novel hadn’t held her interest. And neither had playing cards, or digging out her atlas and reading about the southern continent, or eating all the candy she’d hidden from Sam in the kitchen. Of course, she was
supposed
to be organizing the belongings she wanted to pack. When she’d complained to Sam about what a chore it’d be, he’d even gone so far as to take all their empty trunks out of the closet. And then pointed out that he would
not
be traveling with her dozens of shoes, and she could have them shipped to her once they found their home. After saying
that
, he’d wisely left the apartment to kill Farran.

She didn’t know why she hesitated to pack—she’d contacted
the solicitor that morning. He had told her the apartment might be hard to sell, but she was glad to do the dealings over a long distance, and she told him she’d contact him as soon as she found her new home.

A new home.

Celaena sighed as the clock arms shifted. A whole minute had passed.

Of course, with Farran’s schedule being somewhat erratic, Sam might have to wait a few hours for him to leave the house. Or maybe he’d already done the job and needed to lie low for a while, just in case someone traced him back here.

Celaena checked the dagger beside her on the couch, then glanced around the room for the hundredth time that evening, making sure all the concealed weapons were in their proper places.

She wouldn’t check on Sam. He’d wanted to do this on his own. And he could be anywhere now.

The trunks lay by the window.

Maybe she
should
start packing. Once they dispatched Jayne tomorrow night, they’d need to be ready to leave the city as soon as that ship was available to board. Because while she certainly wanted the world to know that Celaena Sardothien had made the kill, getting far from Rifthold would be in their best interest.

Not that she was running away.

The clock arms shifted again. Another minute.

Groaning, Celaena stood and walked to the bookshelf along the wall, where she began pulling out books and stacking them into the nearest empty trunk. She’d have to leave her furniture and most of her shoes behind for now, but there was no way in hell she was going to move to the southern continent without all of her books.