At Knit's End (19 page)

Let's never speak of this again.

Difficult patterns are not necessarily a personal issue. I will not mail this letter.

 

As I work among my flowers, I find myself
talking to them, reasoning and remonstrating
with them, and adoring them as if they were
human beings. Much laughter I provoke
among my friends by so doing, but that is of
no consequence. We are on such good terms,
my flowers and I.

— C
ELIA
T
HAXTER

S
ome knitters say that they buy yarn with no project in mind and wait patiently for the yarn to “speak” to them. This reminds me of Michelangelo, who believed that every block of stone he carved had the statue waiting inside and that all he did was reveal it. I think I've had yarn speak to me during the knitting process, and I've definitely spoken to it. Perhaps I'm doing it wrong, or maybe my yarn and I aren't on such good terms, but it really seems to me that all I say is “please” and all it ever says is “no.”

 

Friendship is a strong and
habitual inclination in two persons
to promote the good and
happiness of one another.

— E
USTACE
B
UDGELL

I
have a friend named Laurie. She lives very far away from me, and I have to content myself with e-mails and letters and the occasional surprise package. Besides being a clever and thoughtful woman, Laurie is a genius. She spins and knits and dyes the most beautiful things, and there is not a day that I don't think of her and wish that I lived closer to her, just so that I could have the pleasure of her company and the comfortable reassurance that there is someone else out there who is definitely as insane about knitting as I am. Some time ago, Laurie dyed some wool, spun it into sock yarn,
and mailed it to me. I knit it up into the most beautiful and comfortable socks I have ever owned. The heels are a little bit wonky (I screwed them up a little), but they remain the best things I can put on my feet. They feel like a joint effort, Laurie's spinning and my knitting, and whenever the world gets a little bit tough I put them on. They are tangible evidence that I am never alone and friendless.

I will never diminish the magical powers of knitting, where friendship can be mailed in 200 yards of homespun.

 

Better three hours too soon
than a minute too late.

— W
ILLIAM
S
HAKESPEARE

M
y husband, an otherwise wonderful human being, has a fairly loose relationship with time. He is seldom punctual, and even less often aware that he is late. If I added up all the time that I spend waiting for him, 15 minutes here, 10 minutes there … I would probably have to divorce him instantly in a fit of outrage. Instead, because I have the miracle of knitting to save my marriage, I sit happily each time, patiently knitting until he arrives.

I will consider that my husband might work harder to be on time if I would stop rewarding him with the socks that I knit while waiting.

 

Always remember you're unique,
just like everyone else.

— A
LISON
B
OULTER

O
ne time when I was at a party the conversation turned to knitting and how much fun it is and how everybody should do it. (I may have been the only one talking right then.) A woman stood right across from me, looked me in the eye, and told me that she had tried knitting and that it wasn't fun, it was sort of dumb and boring. She hadn't liked it at all.

I stared at her like she had a third eye. I've always thought that if somebody didn't care for knitting it was because they hadn't tried it. To have done it and not be captivated by the wonder of it was inconceivable.

I will try to accept that knitting is not for everyone, but really know that if she didn't like knitting … she wasn't doing it right.

 

I don't believe in stereotypes,
I prefer to hate people on
a more personal basis.

— A
NONYMOUS

T
here are those who believe that knitting is still the province of elderly women with nothing better to do. They think that it is a rocking chair activity that a young lady might participate in only if she is expecting a baby or is a little more boring, lonely, or friendless than we had all hoped for. Simple proof that knitting has broken free of the bonds of this stereotype can be had by anyone with access to the Internet. A two-minute search will reveal patterns for willie warmers, thongs, and lingerie, definitely intended for knitters who leave their houses and have active social lives.

By acknowledging the diversity of knitters, I can celebrate it without needing to knit a really itchy thong.

 

I didn't do very well in math — I could never
seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't
meant my answers literally.

— C
ALVIN
T
RILLIN

M
yriad ways have been devised to help knitters keep track of how many rows they have knit or where they are in a pattern. Some knitters use a row counter; others use a clicker. Many make marks on a piece of paper, and some cross out instructions on the pattern as they complete them. Being somewhat numerically challenged, the best idea I ever heard was to use M&Ms. If you have 32 rows to knit, then you make a pile of 32 candies beside you. At the end of each row, you eat one. When they are gone, you are done. Brilliant in its simplicity, isn't it?

Remember that this technique can result in screwy socks and really short sweaters if you have children and leave your knitting unattended.

 

You know you
knit too much when …

You take knitting to a
wedding, in case there's a
little time before the bride
comes down the aisle.

Double points if you are
the bride.

 

The nice thing about being a celebrity
is that when you bore people,
they think it's their fault.

— H
ENRY
K
ISSINGER

S
ally Fields, Daryl Hannah, Julianne Moore, Brooke Shields, Bridget Fonda, Tyra Banks, Debra Messing, Caroline Rhea, Laurence Fishburne, Justine Bateman, Russell Crowe, Uma Thurman, Madonna, Cameron Diaz, Madeleine Albright, Kate Moss, Eartha Kitt, Sandra Bullock, Hilary Swank, Karen Allen, Sarah Jessica Parker, Joanne Woodward, Elizabeth Taylor, Stu Bloomberg, Goldie Hawn, and Jennifer Aniston all knit and buy yarn.

I do not need the endorsement of celebrities to make me think knitting is cool. I think it's pretty neat that they all want to be like me.

 

There's a fine line between genius and
insanity. I have erased this line.

— O
SCAR
L
EVANT

I
t takes a special kind of knitter to truly understand knitting. These knitters can be identified by their advanced knitting skills, the evolved and cunning nature of their work, and a deep understanding of the knitter's art. Other subtle hints include round-the-clock stitching, yarn in every room of the house, and an unnatural interest in the reverse side of store-bought sweaters.

I am not obsessed. I am gaining experience.

 

If you knew what I know about the power
of giving, you would not let a single meal
pass without sharing it in some way.

— B
UDDHA

I
taught all my children to knit, and mostly I am glad that I did. It's a double-edged sword, though. On the one hand, I now live with delightful daughters who enjoy one of the same things that I do, and it's not often that you get to have that kind of common ground with a teenager. On the other hand, they think we should all share my yarn.

I will try to be generous about giving my children my wool, even though I have already given them a place to live, food to eat, and the best years of my life.

 

It is very difficult to live among people you
love and hold back from offering them advice.

— A
NNE
T
YLER

I
n the early spring I knit my daughter a beautiful pair of green and yellow socks. They reminded me of sunshine on the new leaves in the garden. I imagined my willowy young daughter in the socks and it made me happy. Part of the joy of knitting is imagining the items in use, and while I was knitting them I loved the idea that she would look so beautiful and elegant, especially when she wore them with her new spring coat.

I will remember that they belong to her once given, and that I have no right to rip the socks right off her ungrateful little feet when she puts them on with hot-pink tights and combat boots.

 

Creativity is allowing yourself to make
mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

— S
COTT
A
DAMS

M
istakes in knitting are inevitable. Don't panic; you have options. Some patient knitters unknit their work one stitch at a time until they reach the mistake, unknit that, and have a do-over. This is time-consuming, but it works very well. Other experienced knitters choose to drop the stitches in the offending section, unravel them until they reach the error, then carefully retrieve the stitches and knit them back up correctly. A crochet hook can help. Bold knitters take the work off the needles completely, rip the work back, replace the needle, and go onward. The cleverest knitters ask themselves, “Is there any way I could repeat this error on the other side to make this a design feature?”

I will allow myself to consider “nontraditional” solutions to a knitting error.

 

Being defeated is often a temporary condition.
Giving up is what makes it permanent.

— M
ARILYN
V
OS
S
AVANT

E
ntrelac is a technique in knitting whereby a knitter creates a fascinating and beautiful multidirectional fabric by knitting little squares in opposite directions. Some knitters enjoy this to no end and advocate learning to knit backward to simplify the knitting of the millions of little squares. These knitters are patient and talented. In my experience, however, if you enjoy knitting entrelac, you may also want to try pulling all your nose hair out with tweezers.

I will feel free to dump a knitting technique that threatens my sanity and happiness.

 

An idea can turn to dust or magic,
depending on the talent that rubs against it.

— W
ILLIAM
B
ERNBACH

F
or Christmas one year I made my sister-in-law Kate a “magic scarf.” The general idea is that you knit a scarf about one-third the length you would like it to be, then drop every other stitch as you cast off. This done, you pull both ends of the scarf, the dropped stitches run freely to the cast-on edge, and poof!, the scarf lengthens by about two-thirds. I imagined that working this magic would be sort of fun for Kate, so I left the scarf unpulled, tucked the instructions into the box, and sent it off. A year later I found out that Kate had missed the instruction sheet but had appreciated the stumpy little scarf and worn it dutifully for a year, even though it practically strangled her.

We can remember to look for the subtle signs that people appreciate our knitting.

 

Many men have been capable of doing
a wise thing, more a cunning thing,
but very few a generous thing.

— A
LEXANDER
P
OPE

M
y sister-in-law Kelly is a knitter and a generous person. Like many knitters, she gives away most of what all that she knits. Kelly had her eye on these beautiful one-of-a-kind hanks of yarn, imagining (finally) the most beautiful shawl for herself, and when the right color came along, she snapped it up. Weeks were spent on the shawl, and she ultimately finished her masterpiece while traveling to a friend's home. When she arrived, she found a birthday party in full swing. Kelly was horrified for a minute that she had no gift; then it all became terribly clear. She brokenheartedly wrapped up her dream shawl and handed it over.

I will strive to accept that my knitting may have a destiny separate from my own.

 

Hardy folks don't run from change;
they exult in its challenges.

— A
NONYMOUS

K
nitters have been devastated that, in some places, security restrictions have resulted in knitting needles being banned from planes. A knitter I know was taking a very long flight and simply couldn't imagine not knitting. She and her husband put their heads together and came up with paper knitting needles. Tightly coil thin strips of paper, then pull out the center to make a long, pointed taper. Coat it with ordinary white glue to make it a little tougher, and you have a knitting needle that won't set off X-ray machines or be considered dangerous like wood, metal, or plastic. She happily knit all the way to Australia.