At Peace (36 page)

But I knew, the way Joe was, the way he
looked, the way he acted, there were likely a lot of women before
me who knew all about it and tried to fix him.

Joe just couldn’t be fixed.

A one-woman man, like his Dad, Mike said. Did
everything for her. Kept her safe, tried to keep her straight and
was good enough to put her in a taxi instead of slam the door in
her face when she’d killed his baby and essentially killed his
father.

A one-woman man, he’d just picked the
wrong woman, the
really
wrong
one.

Joe was never going to be fixed, he didn’t
want to be and therefore, he never would.

“Violet,” Mike called and I looked at
him.

“
No,” I replied, “I don’t want to fix
Joe.”

That was a lie, I did, I really wanted to, I
wanted to so badly I could taste it in my mouth, feel it hollowing
out my belly, like that hunger I had for him.

I just knew I couldn’t.

Mike’s hand came to my face, his fingers
curving around my jaw, his thumb at my cheek, using it to bring it
close so his mouth could touch mine then he gently pushed me away
an inch but his hand didn’t leave my face.

“Thinkin’ I killed the mood,” he
muttered.

I gave him a weak smile and agreed,
“Yeah.”

“Not a bad thing, sweetheart, ‘cause I’m also
thinkin’ you need time.”

My weak smile died and I agreed again,
“Yeah.”

“You want me around while you take that
time?”

I closed my eyes and dropped my forehead to
his shoulder.

Then selfishly and stupidly, I whispered,
“Yeah, Mike, I do, if you wanna be around.”

I felt his body relax against mine and he
murmured, “Good, ‘cause I wanna be around.”

I lifted my head, needing the mood to shift
again, not back to before but to something normal, sane, that
didn’t include drowned babies or Joe’s broken heart.

Therefore I asked, “You mind if we watch a
movie?”

“I’ll only mind if you don’t cuddle up to me
while we’re doin’ it.”

My smile was less weak when I said, “I think
I can do that.”

“Then go pick what you wanna watch.”

I kept smiling at him and started to pull
away then went back to him.

“Mike?” I called when his eyes caught
mine.

“You’re practically in my lap, honey,” he
answered on a grin.

“Thanks for puttin’ up with my shit,” I
whispered.

His face got soft and his hand came back to
curve around my jaw. “I’m a slow learner, sad but true, but one
thing I learned, there’re women whose shit is worth puttin’ up with
and women whose it isn’t. I’m guessin’ you’re the first
category.”

“I don’t know, I’ve got a bad temper,” I told
him honestly.

“Then I’ll try not to piss you off.”

“That would be advised.”

He grinned, kissed me lightly again, dropped
his hand from my face and said, “Go pick a movie.”

“Okay,” I replied, got up, picked a movie,
Mike put it in and we cuddled on the couch while we watched it.

The movie was good and, since Mike owned it,
he obviously liked it.

The best part was being tucked, my back to
his front on the couch, my head on his bicep, his arm tight at my
waist, our legs entwined, doing a bit of nothing, watching a movie,
in a family room, in a family house, with a dog stretched at the
side of the couch.

That was the best part.

And I loved it. I even had to admit I loved
doing it with Mike just as I admitted that I’d prefer doing it with
Joe.

But Joe didn’t cuddle and watch movies or
make dinner or have a dog.

And Joe never would.

* * * * *

Cal was still on his deck when night had
fallen and he heard Violet’s Mustang in her drive.

As if she was doing it to piss him off, she
didn’t use the garage.

He stayed on the deck taking another swig
of beer, which one he had no clue, he’d lost count, as he heard her
side door open and close.

He stayed where he was, staring into the
dark, knowing she wasn’t going to come to him that night, the first
night he was home in a long time she wasn’t in his bed.

It was awhile later, he was considering
getting another beer or going for the bourbon, when he heard her
side door open then her keys jingle to lock it.

He waited then looked to the side when he
heard her feet hit the steps to his deck.

She walked up to him and stopped by the chair
Colt had vacated hours ago.

“Don’t say it,” she warned.

He had no idea what she didn’t want him to
say but he replied, “Buddy, I didn’t say a word.”

She hesitated then sat down next to him,
cocking her legs and putting her feet up on the railing.

She was in her clothes, a jeans skirt,
tighter than the other one, in fact, it was tight all the way down
the sides of her thighs, a slit up the front. She had on a little
purple blouse, the neckline was wide, showed her chest not her
cleavage and it was loose but cinched at her waist. She was
barefoot.

He didn’t have to ask if she had a good
night, not that he would have. She left at a quarter to six, it had
to be close to midnight, maybe after. Plenty of time to eat and do
all sorts of shit if you were having a good time. He knew what he’d
be doing if Vi was at his house that long, exactly what he
did
do when Vi was at his house
that long. He reckoned Haines wouldn’t be far off that mark, what
he knew was, if Vi had let him fuck her, she wouldn’t be sitting
beside him right now.

Cal didn’t want to feel relieved but that
didn’t mean he fucking wasn’t.

For once she seemed happy to be silent but
Cal was not.

He downed the last of the beer and dropped
his hand.

“Should give Haines a clean run.”

He felt rather than saw her head turn in his
direction but she didn’t speak.

“Not gonna do that, buddy,” he told his dark
yard. “You might not like what we got, but I do.”

“Joe,” she said softly and when she did he
wondered why they were sitting on his deck rather than in his
bed.

He turned to her. “You don’t like it, you’re
the one’s gonna have to end it.”

She didn’t say anything, not for awhile then
she said quietly, “I’m tired, Joe.”

He turned back to face his yard.

“Then go to bed.”

She hesitated then moved but he didn’t hear
her feet padding down his steps, he heard his sliding glass door
open then close.

He sat where he was, staring at his yard and
he did this for a long time. Then he reached down, grabbed the two
beer bottles that had collected by his chair when he stopped
bothering to take them in when he went to get another. He went into
his house, to his kitchen, dumped the bottles in his trash and he
went to his room.

Violet was in his bed. She didn’t move when
he came in, didn’t move when he took off his clothes but she made a
noise low in her throat and shifted when he got in bed. Then he
settled on his back, she was curled with her back to him and she
again didn’t move.

He listened to her steady breathing.

Fuck, she was asleep in his bed, not waiting
for him, not about to turn around and have a conversation, suck his
cock or ride him. She was asleep.

You wouldn’t believe how sweet
it is, knowin’ at the end of the day, she’ll crawl right back into
my bed,
Colt had
said.

Cal closed his eyes then rolled into Vi,
curling an arm around her stomach and pulling her into his body,
noting she was wearing one of his tees.

He smelled her hair as he bent his neck and
the bridge of his nose rested against her crown.

“Joe?” she called, he’d woken her but she
still sounded half-asleep.

“Go back to sleep, baby.”

“Okay,” she whispered and her body settled
into his.

He didn’t know why she was there, didn’t know
why she kept coming back, didn’t know, she could have a good man
like Haines, why she left Haines’s house and ended her night in
Cal’s bed.

And he didn’t care.

She was there.

Cal pressed into her and, within minutes, he
was asleep.

Big Purple Bow

I woke up, opened my eyes, lifted my head and
looked up at Joe.

When I did, he dipped his chin and his
beautiful, clear, sky blue eyes locked with mine.

He was wide awake.

I was pressed to his side, my thigh thrown
over his and his arm was curled around my waist. His other arm was
cocked, his head resting on his hand.

“Hi,” I whispered.

He looked at the clock then at me.

“I’m on my back, buddy.”

I closed my eyes and dropped my head,
planting my face in his chest.

What the hell was I doing?

I didn’t know but I knew what I was going to
be doing.

I moved my face so my mouth was on him. Then
I moved my body so it was straddling his. I slid down, enjoying
what I was doing more and more, got close to my goal but he pulled
me up so I was face-to-face with him.

“You gonna wrap your mouth around me?” he
asked.

“Yeah,” I answered.

His hands tugged at the tee I was
wearing.

“You suck my dick, baby, you do it
naked.”

I shifted, excitement gathering tight between
my legs at his words then I sat up, still straddling him and pulled
off his tee while he watched. Then I slid to the side, pulling down
and kicking off my panties then I straddled him again, looking
down.

“Happy?” I asked.

His hands spanned my ribs and he grinned.

“Yeah.”

“Do you mind if I carry on?” I asked.

“Have at it,” Joe invited.

I shook my head.

Then I had at him with my mouth then, when I
knew he was close because his hands holding back my hair so he
could watch became fists, I released him and positioned myself over
him. Wrapping my hand around his cock, I guided it inside and then
I rode him, one hand in the bed for leverage, one at his chest for
contact. Both of his hands were at my hips, coaxing,
encouraging.

“You don’t hurry, Vi, I’m takin’ over,” he
warned, his deep voice hoarse.

“No you aren’t, this is my turn.”

“Your turn’s gonna come with my fingers or my
mouth not my cock, you don’t hurry.”

I wanted it from his cock so I rode him
harder and he groaned.

“Christ, buddy, that ain’t helpin’.”

I leaned down and kissed him, still moving,
Joe slid a hand between us and pressed a finger hard against my
clit then that finger rolled.

I came instantly, moaning his name into his
mouth.

“Thank Christ,” he groaned back and then his
hips surged up and he came too.

I collapsed on top of him and both his arms
wrapped around me, one going to my hair, pulling it away from my
face then tangling in it and staying there.

“You gotta go home, baby,” he told me but he
kept me locked in his arms.

“In a minute.”

“Vi, the girls.”

“They sleep late in the summer. Sometimes
Keira sleeps until eleven.”

His arms gave me a squeeze. “Honey, the
neighbors.”

I blinked and my eyes with a view to his
neck saw nothing.

He’d never called me “honey”.

I pulled myself together and whispered, “Joe,
baby, in a minute.”

His arms gave me another squeeze and he
muttered, “Not me who gives a shit.”

I couldn’t help it, I grinned.

Then I thought I was lying with Joe in his
bed in the house where his son died, his father died and his
ex-junkie-wife had committed criminally negligent involuntary
manslaughter.

How he could be here, I didn’t know, I
couldn’t imagine.

But I hated him there. He should sell that
house. Why he didn’t and then never came back, I had no
clue.

Then I wondered what
I
was doing there.

But I knew. Stupid me, coming home last
night after a great night with Mike, great, the
best
, dumping my purse, going to my room, slipping off
my shoes and lying on top of my covers, staring at the ceiling and
thinking of Mike then my mind shifted against my will and I started
thinking of Joe over here, in this house, this goddamned house,
filled with memories of tragedy, and he was all alone.

I couldn’t fix him, I knew it, but here I was
trying to do it.

Joe’s hand sifted through my hair then his
fingertips came to my hairline and did it again, holding it back as
he twisted his neck so his mouth could get to my ear.

“You’re stayin’, buddy, got a mind to eat
you,” he murmured.

I shivered.

He never quit but I didn’t mind, not at all,
I was freaking addicted to it.

I lifted my head but Joe’s hand didn’t leave
my hair.

“I should go back,” I said, not moving.

“
Yeah,” Joe replied, “you
should.”

I still didn’t move. Neither did Joe.

“Vi,” he called.

“What?” I asked.

Slowly, he smiled.

Then he rolled me to my back.

After awhile, I didn’t know why I was always
whining to be on top.

Being on my back was just fine.

* * * * *

I slid out of Joe’s bed and pulled on his
tee.

“Buddy, you keep stealin’ my tees, I won’t
have any left.”

I nabbed my undies and stepped into them, my
head up looking at him as I did.

“You gave me the first,” I reminded him.

“You stole the next two,” he returned.

“I only stole one.”

“You’re wearin’ number two.”

I couldn’t believe he was keeping track.

“I’ll send Keira and Kate to the mall to buy
you new ones.”