Atticus Claw Breaks the Law (7 page)

‘I’m the worst detective in the world!’ Inspector Cheddar sobbed. ‘I’m awful. Rubbish. A waste of space. I’m rotten, like a mouldy bit of mousetrap.’

Atticus was amazed. Wasn’t Inspector Cheddar
happy
he had crimes to investigate?

‘No, you’re not, Dad!’ Michael cried. ‘You’re the best detective in the world!’

Inspector Cheddar shook his head. ‘The Tofflys think I stink. So does the Chief Inspector of Bigsworth,’ he howled. ‘He’s threatened to put me back on traffic duty if I don’t catch whoever it is soon!’

Atticus was flabbergasted. This was the first time it had occurred to him that Inspector Cheddar actually expected to
catch
someone for the burglaries, or that he might be upset if he didn’t.

‘Don’t listen to those people,’ Callie cried,
throwing
her arms round Inspector Cheddar’s neck. ‘They don’t know anything.’

‘Really?’ Inspector Cheddar sniffed.

‘Definitely,’ Michael agreed. ‘You’ll catch the
villain
, Dad. Don’t worry. We know you will.’

Atticus was listening closely. He’d got it all mixed up! Now he understood. Michael only wanted there to be burglaries so that his dad would look good when he solved them!

‘How?’ Inspector Cheddar tried to smile. ‘He doesn’t leave any clues.’

‘He’ll make a mistake,’ Michael said. ‘Criminals always do, don’t they, Atticus?’

Atticus purred weakly. Most criminals might make mistakes. But
he
never did. Inspector Cheddar didn’t stand a chance against him and Jimmy Magpie’s gang. He’d never solve the crimes. The Tofflys would call him mean names. People would laugh at him in the street. The Chief Inspector of Bigsworth would put him on traffic duty. Worst of
all, Michael would be disappointed and Callie would be sad.

Mrs Tucker came in with a steaming cup of fish tea. ‘Here, this will put hairs on your chest,’ she beamed. ‘I always give it to Mr Tucker before he sets sail in case he meets a
you-know-what
.’

Inspector Cheddar sniffed it suspiciously. His eyes watered.

‘Any chance of a biscuit?’ he asked.

‘I might have some plankton-and-cod cookies.’ Mrs Cheddar went off to look for them.

Inspector Cheddar took a sip of tea. ‘YUK!’ he spluttered. He poured it out of the window.

Atticus thought he heard a faint squawk but the children were giggling and he couldn’t be sure. Besides, his mind was on other things.

‘Don’t tell Mrs Tucker I did that,’ Inspector Cheddar whispered.

Mrs Tucker came back with some green-looking biscuits. She eyed the empty cup. ‘You’ll be running around like one of those superheroes in a minute – Crabman, or whatever his name is,’ she said, looking pleased.

Michael stifled a laugh.

Callie pretended to cough.

Inspector Cheddar sprang off the sofa. The fish tea seemed to have worked. Suddenly he
did
feel much better. ‘Thank you, kids. Thank you, Mrs Tucker. Thank you, Atticus.’

‘Where are you going?’ the children wanted to know.

‘I’m going back to the station.’ Inspector Cheddar stuck his cap on jauntily. ‘To catch a burglar.’

‘Good luck, Dad!’ Callie shouted after him.

‘Yeah, go get him, Dad!’ Michael yelled. He picked up Atticus lumpily and waved one of his paws
towards
Inspector Cheddar. ‘Atticus says good luck too!’

The door slammed.

Feeling miserable, Atticus meowed to get down.

‘What’s wrong, Atticus?’ Michael sounded
concerned
. ‘You normally love being picked up.’

‘Tummy-ache, probably.’ Mrs Tucker said briskly. ‘Now let’s get your reading done.’ She took the
children
into the kitchen.

Atticus slunk upstairs. He wriggled under the bed, wondering what on earth he was going to do.

12

‘Chaka-chaka-chaka-chaka!’

Thug and Slasher were having fun. Jimmy was out and they were trying on some of the stolen
jewellery
. The sunlight, which came in bright stripes through the wooden planks of the old pier, made the precious stones sparkle like fireworks.

‘What do you think?’ Thug chattered, parading up and down the metal beams with a bracelet over one wing. ‘Do emeralds suit me?’

‘Without a doubt, Thug,’ Slasher said. ‘They go with your plumage.’

‘I like you in rubies,’ Thug returned the
compliment
. ‘They suit your complexion.’

‘Nah … you’re just being polite.’ Slasher grinned. ‘You know what they say, Thug …’ He threw the ruby necklace carelessly on to the brimming nest and picked out a ring with his beak. ‘… Diamonds
are a bird’s best friend.’

‘You crack me up, Slasher!’ Thug nearly fell off the beam with
laughing
.

‘CHAKA-CHAKA-CHAKA-CHAKA!’ There was a rush of wings.

Thug froze.

Slasher blinked nervously.

It was Jimmy Magpie.

‘Jimmy!’ Slasher tried to hide the diamond ring under his wing. ‘We was just … er … checking things.’

‘Put the stuff back.’ Jimmy glared at the two
magpies
coldly. ‘Do you want the fuzz to see you?’

‘The fuzz?’ Thug repeated.

‘The cops. The heat. The bill.’

Thug and Slasher looked blank.

‘The police, you idiots!’ Jimmy squawked. ‘They’re out on patrol. Looking for the burglar.’

‘The police!’ gasped Thug.

‘Yeah. I’ve been keeping an eye on them all day while you two have been playing at dressing up.’ His eyes glittered brightly. ‘Inspector Cheddar. He’s in charge.’

‘Cheddar?’ gasped Slasher. ‘Isn’t that the name of
the lady who’s organising the Toffly Hall antiques fair? The one who lives at number 2 Blossom Crescent.’

‘Her husband,’ Jimmy confirmed. ‘I followed him back home this afternoon and listened at the window.’ Jimmy glanced behind him and fanned his luminous-green tail feathers. ‘I nearly got my tail scalded by some foul-smelling brew in the process.’

Thug looked nervous. ‘You don’t think he’s on to us, do you?’

‘Why would he be?’ Jimmy demanded. ‘What have you done?’

‘Slasher tried to steal his badge.’ Thug confessed.

‘YOU DID WHAT?’ Jimmy grabbed the diamond ring off Slasher and whacked him over the head with it. ‘YOU BIRD BRAIN!’

‘It wasn’t me, it was him!’ Slasher pushed Thug violently.

Thug fell off his perch, fluttered unsteadily, then landed on Slasher’s back. ‘No, it wasn’t, it was you!’

Slasher pushed him off.

Thug shoved him back.

‘Cut it out!’ Jimmy snapped. ‘Luckily, Inspector Cheddar’s even more stupid than you two. He’s no threat. Not yet, anyway. He hasn’t got a clue about the burglaries. He’s stumped.’

‘Phew!’ Thug put his wing round Slasher and hugged him. ‘That’s all right, then.’

‘I did learn something interesting though,’ Jimmy went on carefully, examining his tail in the glittering diamond, ‘about our
so-called friend
, Atticus Claw.’

‘What?’ Slasher asked.

‘He’s living with the Cheddars.’

‘No way!’ Thug fell off his perch again.

‘I don’t believe it!’ Slasher gasped.

‘I got a peek through the window,’ Jimmy said. ‘He looked mighty cosy curled up next to the Inspector and a couple of snotty kids. Purring away, he was, like a good little kitty.’

Slasher stared at his boss. ‘What’s he up to?’

Jimmy’s eyes gleamed. ‘I’m not sure. My guess is it’s to do with Toffly Hall antiques fair. Somehow he must have heard about it when he arrived. I reckon he’s sneaked in there with the Cheddars so he can find out if there’s going to be anything worth
stealing
.’ He put his head on one side and looked sharply at the other magpies. ‘You haven’t told him about it, have you?’ His voice was brimming with menace.

‘No!’ squawked Slasher.

‘Definitely not!’ Thug started to tremble. ‘You can trust us!’

‘I hope so,’ Jimmy said icily. ‘Or you know what will happen.’ He tossed the ring back into the nest.

Slasher’s beak twitched.

Thug’s knees knocked.

‘No, Jimmy, please …’

‘Not the crows, Jimmy. Please! We haven’t told the cat anything, I swear.’ Tears were rolling down Thug’s cheeks.

‘Then he’s cleverer than I thought,’ Jimmy spat. ‘Where better to get the lowdown on the antiques fair than in the organiser’s own home? And where better to hide from the police than right under their noses?’

‘What do you think he’s going to do, Boss?’ Thug asked timidly, rubbing his bruised ankle with his wing.

‘He’s after that tiara,’ Jimmy said thoughtfully. ‘Think about it; it could buy him all the mackerel in the Mediterranean.’ He paused, his eyes glittering. ‘What worries me is that the only way he can be sure of getting it is if we’re out of the way …’

‘You mean he’s going to chomp us?’ Thug gulped.

‘Then he’d get everything!’ Slasher fumed.

‘Maybe,’ Jimmy said. ‘But he’d have to catch us first.’

‘I’d biff him in the snout,’ Thug said proudly.

‘And I’d peck him in the eye.’ Slasher sounded
excited
.

‘He’d have you both for breakfast,’ Jimmy said coldly. ‘But I doubt he’d take me on in a hurry.’

‘Who would, Boss?’ Thug agreed. ‘You’re horrible.’

‘Thanks, Thug.’ Jimmy looked pleased. ‘But even if he
does
manage to get rid of us, he’s still got to snatch the tiara. Toffly Hall will be swarming with cops. Nah …’ Jimmy shook his head. ‘I think he’s got something else in mind. Something much more devious.’

‘What?’ Slasher and Thug gawped at him.

‘I think he’s gonna frame us for the burglaries. Then, when Inspector Cheddar thinks the criminals are safely behind bars, he’s going to walk into that antiques fair and steal Lady Toffly’s tiara from under his nose.’ He shrugged. ‘That’s what I’d do, anyway, if I were him.’

‘I don’t want to go to jail!’ Fat tears rolled down Thug’s cheeks. His body shook with sobs.

‘Don’t worry, Thug,’ Jimmy said kindly. ‘It won’t come to that.’ He took a deep breath and let out a satisfied sigh. ‘Thanks to me, you won’t be going to jail. Nor will Slasher …’

‘Thanks, Boss!’ Slasher sounded relieved.

‘… and most importantly, nor will I.’ Jimmy sat back comfortably against the nest and folded his wings. ‘Atticus Claw, on the other hand, can look
forward
to a life sentence at Her Majesty’s pleasure.’

Thug and Slasher looked at him, puzzled. ‘But how, Boss?’

‘We’re going to give that cat a taste of his own medicine.’ Jimmy smiled cruelly. ‘We’re going to turn the tables on him.’ He leaned forward and spread his wings around the two magpies, gathering them close. His voice fell to a whisper. ‘It’s not
him
who’s gonna frame
us
, boys. It’s
us
who are gonna frame
him
!’

13

When the children had finished tea and gone
upstairs
for their baths, Atticus went out for a walk. He wanted to think about things.

After a while he found himself wandering along the beachfront past the shops. The weather had turned much warmer and quite a few families were sitting on the wall, eating ice creams. A boy was
examining
pebbles on the sand while a little girl paddled in the waves.

He made his way along the promenade towards the beach huts. To get there, he had to pass the pier. Luckily a small fairground had sprung up at one end of the car park since his last visit to the seaside. Atticus was glad. He didn’t like the blaring music but at least it made it less likely the magpies would see him. The last thing he wanted right now was to
bump into Jimmy and his gang. He skirted the
fairground
and sneaked past the end of the pier, threading his way round the back of some parked cars.

There was no sign of the magpies.

When he got to the beach huts he bumped into Mimi, the pretty Burmese.

‘There you are!’ she said. ‘I was beginning to think you’d never come!’

Atticus hung his head. ‘Sorry,’ he said gruffly. Secretly, though, he was pleased to see her. ‘You haven’t really been waiting for me all this time, have you?’

‘Of course not,’ Mimi said shortly. ‘I like coming down here to watch the children.’ She began to clean her whiskers with a delicate front paw. ‘Sometimes it gets a bit lonely at home. Aisha, my owner, doesn’t have any kids. And she’s out a lot of the time at work.’

‘What does she do?’ Atticus asked.

‘She’s a florist.’ Mimi told him proudly. ‘She owns a beautiful shop on the High Street. She has to get up really early to go to the market in Bigsworth to collect the flowers to make into bouquets; then in the evenings she delivers them in the van.’ Mimi
sighed. ‘I’d never leave her, of course, but sometimes I think it would be fun to belong to a family.’

Atticus said nothing.

‘Busy week?’ Mimi asked, looking at him
sideways
.

‘Fairly,’ Atticus said non-commitally.

‘Did you know we were burgled the other night?’

‘I … er …’ Atticus felt his whiskers burn.

‘Someone stole Aisha’s best necklace,’ Mimi went on. ‘She was very upset. Her mother gave it to her. It’s made of emeralds.’

Atticus’s good ear drooped.

‘It happened while I was here …’ Mimi paused … ‘waiting for
you
.’

Atticus tried to look away but Mimi’s golden eyes bored into his. ‘You stole it, didn’t you?’

Atticus sighed. Yes,’ he said heavily. ‘I did.’

Mimi stared out to sea. ‘Do you want to tell me why?’ she asked quietly.

All of a sudden Atticus found himself telling Mimi everything. He told her about Monte Carlo and Milan. He told her about Madrid and Montreal. He told her about Moscow and Miami. He told her about the message from the magpies and how he came to be in Littleton-on-Sea. Finally he told her
about the Cheddars. ‘I really like them,’ he said helplessly, ‘and I’ve let them down. For a few measly sardines. And it’s not just the Cheddars, is it? I didn’t mean to upset your owner, or anyone else for that matter. I just never let myself think about it before. I’ve been a cat burglar all my life. I didn’t want to get involved. Now, I’m not so sure.’

Mimi was quiet for a long time. ‘Poor Atticus,’ she said eventually, taking his paw. ‘What are you going to do?’

Atticus glanced back towards the pier. He pictured the magpies crowing over their nest full of loot. The thought of Jimmy’s cruel black eyes made him shiver.

‘Well?’ Mimi said.

Atticus let go of Mimi’s paw and straightened his handkerchief. He’d made up his mind.

‘I’m going to tell the magpies I want out,’ he said. ‘I’m going to tell them what we’re doing is wrong. I’m going to tell them it has to stop. I’ll go to the pier tomorrow morning when the kids are at school.’

Mimi smiled. ‘And then?’ she prompted.

‘And then I’m going to return the jewellery to its owners – every single last piece of it, starting with Aisha.’

Mimi nuzzled his whiskers. ‘I hoped you’d say that,’ she purred.

They said goodbye. Mimi waved. Atticus tried to smile. It felt good to do the right thing for once. But it didn’t really change anything, he thought sadly. He’d still have to leave. If the Cheddars ever found out what he’d done they’d never forgive him. And he couldn’t forgive himself. He didn’t deserve friends like Mimi. Or a loving family like the Cheddars. He sat alone for a long time watching the sunset until it was completely dark. Then he set out for Blossom Crescent with a heavy heart. Once he’d seen to it that everything had returned to normal in Littleton-on-Sea, he would leave number 2 Blossom Crescent and return to Monte Carlo where he couldn’t cause any more trouble.

Michael and Callie had just had their baths when the doorbell rang.

‘Do your teeth,’ Mrs Tucker ordered, ‘while I see who it is.’

The children waited for her to go downstairs, then they crept out of the bathroom and sat on the stairs in their dressing gowns peering through the banisters.

A lady in a pink sundress and floppy hat was
standing 
on the doorstep next to a small bald man with a moustache. He was wearing sunglasses and carrying a suitcase.

‘We want to talk to Inspector Cheddar,’ the man said abruptly. ‘It’s about the burglaries.’

‘He’s out,’ Mrs Tucker said. ‘You could try the police station.’

The woman shook her head. ‘He’s not there either,’ she said.

‘He’s probably following up an important lead,’ Mrs Tucker said, ‘on the trail of the burglar.’

‘He’d better be,’ the man snapped. ‘My name is Pearson – we were the first victims of that greedy fiend!’

Callie clutched Michael’s hand.

‘Shall I ask the Inspector to call you in the
morning
?’ Mrs Tucker asked.

‘No point,’ Mr Pearson said tersely. ‘We’re going on a cruise. It’s not safe here.’ He looked about
anxiously
, as though he expected the burglar to jump out from behind a bush and steal his moustache. ‘Come on, Elspeth, I told you it was a waste of time.’ He took hold of his wife’s arm.

Mrs Pearson shook him off. ‘No, Stanley. It might be important.’

Mr Pearson gave a grunt.

‘What might?’ Mrs Tucker asked quickly.

‘I remembered something about the burglary,’ Mrs Pearson said. ‘I think it could be a clue.’

Michael and Callie looked at one another
excitedly
. They edged forward.

‘Did you see something?’ Mrs Tucker asked.

‘Well, there was a cat,’ Mrs Pearson said,
frowning
. ‘Just beneath the window.’

‘Ugly-looking brute,’ Mr Pearson added. ‘It looked as if it had been fighting. One of its ears was all chewed.’

Michael and Callie looked at one another. ‘
Atticus
?’ Callie whispered anxiously.

The same thought had obviously occurred to Mrs Tucker. ‘Was it wearing a red handkerchief round its neck?’ she asked sharply.

‘Definitely not,’ Mr Pearson answered curtly.

‘
Phew!
’ Michael sighed with relief.

‘But it wasn’t what I
saw
that might be important, Stanley; it was what I
heard
.’ Mrs Pearson
interrupted
firmly. ‘The window was open a little and there was a strange noise outside. It woke me up.’ She leaned forwards. ‘I think it might have been the burglar,’ she hissed.

‘What did it sound like?’ Mrs Tucker demanded.

‘Well, it’s hard to describe …’

Mr Pearson looked at his watch impatiently. ‘Come on, Elspeth, spit it out! We haven’t got all night,’ he grumbled.

‘It was a sort of chattering,’ Mrs Pearson glared at him. ‘… Really loud.’ She paused. ‘I know this sounds daft but …’ She lowered her voice … ‘it was as though someone was
laughing
at us.’

‘Daft is right,’ Mr Pearson said tetchily. ‘I mean, what burglar would start chattering and laughing just after breaking and entering a house and stealing all the jewels?!’

‘I don’t know.’ Mrs Pearson sounded deflated. ‘I just thought I should tell the Inspector anyway, just in case.’

‘Quite right.’ Mrs Tucker glared at Mr Pearson. ‘Otherwise he’d arrest you for withholding
information
and throw you both in jail. Have a nice trip.’ She closed the front door.

‘Chattering.’ She scratched her head. ‘That’s odd.’ She started up the stairs.

Michael and Callie jumped up. They hurried back into the bathroom and grabbed their toothbrushes.

Mrs Tucker reached the bathroom door and surveyed
them critically. ‘What do you two make of all that?’

The children tried to look innocent.

‘Make of what?’ Michael spat toothpaste into the basin.

‘Don’t try that on me, Michael Cheddar,’ Mrs Tucker said firmly. ‘I know you were eavesdropping. Your teeth would have fallen out by now if you’d been brushing them that long.’ She bustled them into the bedroom and started to plait Callie’s hair. ‘Well?’ She repeated.

‘I don’t understand.’ Callie was the first to speak. ‘I mean why would the burglar start chatting?’

‘It wasn’t
chatting
Mrs Pearson heard,’ Mrs Tucker said carefully, securing Callie’s plait with an elastic. ‘It was chatt-
er
-ing.’

‘You mean like the magpies when they tried to steal Dad’s badge?’ Michael said without thinking.

Mrs Tucker stared at him. ‘Holy coley, Michael Cheddar!’ she whispered. ‘You’re a genius.’

‘Wait a minute …’ Michael stared at her,
astonished
. ‘You don’t really think the burglar could be a
bird
, do you?’

‘Not just
any
bird,’ Mrs Tucker told him sternly. ‘A
magpie
. They’re different. I told you the other day. They
love stealing things. You saw what they’re capable of. I wouldn’t put anything past them. Flying round
burgling
houses sounds exactly like the sort of thing they’d get up to after dark.’

‘Are they really clever enough to open safes?’ Callie’s eyes were round.

‘Definitely,’ Mrs Tucker replied. ‘Those magpies are criminal masterminds, you can bet your barnacles.’

‘But how do they get in?’ Michael demanded. ‘Dad said the windows in some of the houses were closed.’

‘They must have found another way.’ Mrs Tucker rubbed her chin. ‘Something a magpie could get through but a human couldn’t.’

‘What about a cat flap?’ Callie suggested. ‘Like Atticus uses?’

‘Brilliant, Callie Cheddar!’ Mrs Tucker shouted. ‘You’re a chip off the old block. Magpies. Cat flaps. It all fits. What a team of super sleuths we are!’ She gave them both a bear hug. ‘I can’t wait to tell your dad. He’ll be as happy as a hake when he finds out we’ve solved the case.’ She glanced at her watch. It was nine o’clock. ‘Now, into bed! You’ve got your school trip tomorrow. I’d better get down to the kitchen and make you a packed lunch. Goodnight!’

The children got into bed.

‘Where’s Atticus?’ Callie asked sleepily.

‘He went out.’ Michael yawned. ‘I don’t think he’s back yet.’

‘Maybe he’s gone to catch the magpies …’ Callie hardly managed to finish the sentence before she fell asleep.

Michael lay awake. He wondered if the two
magpies
that had tried to steal Dad’s badge really could be responsible for the spate of burglaries – the scrawny one with the hooked foot and the fat one with feathers missing from its tail. If it came to an identity parade he was pretty sure he’d recognise them again. He imagined them hopping into houses through the cat flap and picking safes with their beaks, then flying away into the night with the
jewellery
in their claws.

If Mrs Tucker was right, somewhere in
Littleton-on
-Sea was a magpie nest stuffed with necklaces and bracelets, watches and rings. All Dad had to do was find it and arrest the birds. He’d be a hero. Everyone would be proud of him, especially the Chief Inspector of Bigsworth. The Tofflys would shut up. The antiques fair would go ahead. Mum would have
a chance of getting the job she wanted. Dad might even get a call from Scotland Yard.