Read Aunt Effie and the Island That Sank Online
Authors: Jack Lasenby
Aunt Effie and the Island That Sank (11 page)
Tears
of
Gratitude; Home
on the
Rotorua Express;
the
Rat Trap
and the
Bugaboo; Frittering Away
the
Treasure.
With tears
of gratitude in her eyes, the Prime Minister took off in her Zeppelin for Wellington. As she revved up the engines, she leaned out and yelled to Aunt Effie, “I’ve decided to rename Rangitoto after you!”
Aunt Effie turned a somersault on the deck and, before Daisy could put her hands over our eyes, we all saw she was wearing green witch’s britches. We waved goodbye, sailed into St Marys Bay, and picked up our old mooring.
“It’s not every day you have an island named after you,” said Aunt Effie. “Give us a diamond,” she told Colleen who was in charge of Wicked Nancy’s treasure. “We’re going to eat all the fish and chips we can!”
As we rowed ashore, Greasy Mick was already waiting on the beach with a barrow-load of fish and chips wrapped in the Waharoa Herald. “Go back and get us another lot!” Aunt Effie ordered. “And when you’ve brung them, you’d better nick back and bring another.”
“I think it’s brought, not brung,” said Daisy.
“Brung not brought,” said Alwyn, as a seagull pooped on
Daisy’s head.
We slept for a couple of days after our big feed of fish and chips. Yawning, we worked the Margery Daw into her mud berth among the mangroves of the Kumeu River for winter. Masts struck, the rudder and centre-board swung on deck. Humpty and Dumpty coated in grease, and tampions bunged home in their barrels. The rigging flaked, and hawsers carried out and made fast to a big mangrove ahead and another astern.
“She looks all ahoo,” Aunt Effie said. “The fresh water up here will kill all the weed on her bottom.”
“Ooha! Ooha!” Alwyn hooted dismally.
We sewed Humpty and Dumpty and the wheel into their winter tarpaulins of heavy green canvas. The Margery Daw looked like part of the mangroves and mud.
As we turned the dinghy upside-down on the beach in Freemans Bay, a postman handed Jessie a letter from the Prime Minister. It said she and the rest of the little ones could have free chocolate fish and ice-creams for the rest of their lives. “I’ve promised Parliament I’ll never gamble at the Casino again,” wrote the Prime Minister. “And I gave my husband a good clip over the ear to remind him I said so!”
“It’s time we caught the Rotorua Express home,” said Aunt Effie. “Winter coming on, we’ll have to start feeding out. We’d better get the hay inside out of the weather. And there’s the bottling to do. And the jam to make. And there’ll just be time to make chutney with the last of the green tomatoes.”
“Caligula-Nero-Brutus-Kaiser-Genghis-Boris!” The dogs came swaggering. Each wore a thick leather belt round his waist, a cutlass stuck through one side, a pair of pistols in the other. Each gripped a dagger between his teeth.
They hoisted our huge chests of treasure on their shoulders and loaded them on to the same horse-tram that had brought us to Freemans Bay. As we drove under the sanctuary sign, Lizzie said, “What about the school inspectors?”
“The Prime Minister told them not to bother us!” said Aunt Effie. Trams, trolleybuses, and cars stopped to let us go by, people got out of our way, but nobody seemed to see us. As we crossed Queen Street, three school inspectors were putting handcuffs on a couple of kids playing the wag from school, but none of them came running at us with his butterfly net. Daisy was disappointed.
We stood on the platform of the Auckland Railway Station. There was a whistle, Owhooooohoooowhooooo!, the steam, the roar and rush of the Rotorua Express. We jumped on board, Whooo-whooo! and we were waking up back home, sitting on the foot of Aunt Effie’s enormous bed. The dogs finished shoving the chests of treasure under the bed, jumped, and sprawled beside us.
Wearing her heavy green canvas invalid’s pyjamas, Aunt Effie lay on a pile of pillows, a sou-wester tied under her chin, an oilskin coat around her shoulders, her feet on a stone hot-water bottle. “I’ve got a cold!” she shivered. “Stir up the fire!”
None of us moved. We knew what a coward Aunt Effie was when she had a cold. And we also knew who lived under her bed, ready to grab us round the ankles when we jumped off.
“My feet are like ice. Who’s going to refill my hot-water bottle?”
None of us moved.
“Somebody’s got to pick the late apples,” Aunt Effie said, “and the pears and quinces. Reach under the bed, Daisy, and hand me another bottle of Old Puckeroo.”
“Watch out for the Bugaboo,” said Alwyn.
“Nonsense!” said Daisy. She reached under the bed. “Ahhh!” she screamed. “Something’s got me by the hand!”
“It’s just the rat trap,” said Aunt Effie. “I set it to keep burglars away from our treasure. I feel much better!” She sprang out of bed. “We’d better pick the fruit, and feed the stock, and get in a load of firewood for winter.”
“Can we have a look at the treasure?” asked Lizzie.
Aunt Effie frowned. “Just look at the clock!” she said. “You’ll be late for school if you don’t hurry!”
“School!” Daisy stopped rubbing the red mark on her fingers and looked pleased. “I must press my uniform!” She ran downstairs, and we heard the clanking as she put the irons on the stove to heat.
“You said we didn’t have to go to school! Because we got to Freemans Bay! It’s not fair!” the rest of us whined. And the little ones bawled, “The Prime Minister gave us a holiday.”
“But you left Freemans Bay,” said Aunt Effie. “You left the sanctuary. You were only safe till you got home. The moment you put a foot across the cattle-stop, there’ll be school inspectors waiting with butterfly nets and handcuffs.”
“When we go to school,” asked Jessie. “Can we have a diamond?”
“What ever for?”
“To buy a chocolate fish from Mrs Doleman’s for playtime.”
“Certainly not!” said Aunt Effie. “Haven’t I warned you about frittering away the treasure?”
“Can we have a pie for lunch?” asked Jared.
“Pies cost money,” said Aunt Effie. “Oh, for goodness’ sake, shut up! You know I can’t bear people boo-hooing at me. All
right, we’ll see. But first we’ve got to bottle the fruit.”
And somewhere in the distance, we heard the whistle of the Rotorua Express: Whooo-whooo!
The End
“Come off it, Daisy. You had a glossary in the first two books.”
Â
“You will use those difficult words,”
Daisy told Aunt Effie.
“It's not surprising if the little ones can't make sense of half of what you say.”
Â
“
Watch out for that seagull, Daisy â oops! Don't say I didn't warn you.
”
abattoir
the place where stock are slaughtered for the butchers' shops
acetylene
old-fashioned headlamps dripped water on carbide making a gas called acetylene which burnt brightly “
Isaac put carbide in my inkwell at school, and it bubbled and stunk worse than rotten eggs
.” âJane.
ahoo
okay, in its right place “
Everything's ahoo
.” âPeter.
backstay
a supporting rope from the mast towards the stern “
Something to prop your back against
.” âDavid.
beam
the breadth of a boat
bend on new canvas
to attach new sails
bitts
a pair of heavy posts on the deck, for fastening cables and hawsers
boa constrictor
a huge snake that crushes and swallows you whole
boom
a spar along the bottom of a sail
boot
a lining fitted inside a torn tyre to protect the inner tube
borborygm
stomach rumbling “
I got borborygms from eating too many greasies
.” âJared.
bowsprit
a spar that sticks out from the bows
breaker
a small cask of drinking water in a lifeboat
bulwarks
the sides of a ship above the deck
camomile
tea
a herbal tea “Poisonous muck that pongs like rotten hay!” âAunt Effie.
camp oven
a round iron pot for cooking over an open fire or in the embers
capstan
a vertical drum around which ropes are wound to kedge the ship and raise the anchor; the capstan is turned by the crew heaving on bars
careen
to tip a boat on its side for cleaning and painting the bottom
centre-board
a moveable keel that lifts and drops
chain
an old measurement for about twenty metres “
You shake a chain and go
â
Whooo-oooh' to make people think you're a ghost
.” âLizzie.
chaperon
an older woman who sees that a young woman behaves herself “
Like Daisy!
” âCasey.
cheroot
an Indian cigar
chronometer
a very accurate ship's clock
climbing irons
spiked footwear for climbing trees
crank-handle
a cranky looking handle for starting cars and
lorries
Crimean shirt
blue or grey flannel shirt often worn loose
cross-cut
a long saw for cutting down trees
crow's-nest
a lookout barrel or platform high on a mast “
You can all take six weeks in the crow's-nest!
” âAunt Effie.
doldrums
a place with no winds
dry district
a place with no pubs
equator
the great circle around the waist of the world “
Banana Bob's belt
.” âAlwyn.
fid
a pointed tool used to separate strands in splicing rope
Firth, J.C.
a famous European settler of the Matamata district (see The Dictionary of New Zealand Biography;
www. dnzb.govt.nz/dnzb/
)
flake
to coil rope flat on deck
flukes
an anchor's sharp ends that dig in “
Ann's got fingernails like flukes
.” âJazz.
forestay
a supporting rope going forward from a mast
freeboard
the ship's side between the water and the deck
gun-tackle
ropes and blocks (pulleys) for shifting guns and heavy things
gybe
(Americans, who don't know any better, spell it
jibe
) the sail swinging across to the other side when running before the wind “
We gybed, and I got clouted by the boom
.” âJared.
Gypsy Day
1 June, the day when share-milkers shift to new farms
halyard
a rope for pulling up a sail or flag
handsomely
carefully “
Hand me my Old Puckeroo. Handsomely, now!
” âAunt Effie.
harden the sheet
tighten the rope controlling a sail
hawser
a heavy rope
headsails (heads'ls)
sails ahead of the foremast, e.g., jib, staysail
heave to
to stop the ship
hibernation
sleeping all winter
holystone
a block of sandstone used to rub the deck white
honky-tonk
a tinny-sounding piano
hove to
past tense of heave to “
We hove to outside the Auckland Casino
.” âCasey.
hundredweight
an old weight measurement, about 51 kilograms
inch
an old length measurement, about 2.5 centimetres
jib
a small triangular headsail
jigger-board
a board jammed into a slot in the trunk that a bushman stands on to fell a tree
jill
to sail idly to and fro
kahikatea, kike, white pine
a very tall New Zealand tree “
Kike's a sinker. It won't float
.” âJessie.
kauri
the biggest New Zealand tree
kedge
a light anchor carried out and set so the ship can be pulled (kedged) towards it
Lane's Emulsion
a nasty medicine “
It looks like condensed milk and tastes as if it's gone bad
.” â Jared.
latitude and longitude
lines across and up and down a map that show sailors where they are
leading dog
a responsible dog that leads and controls a mob of sheep or cattle “
Peter would make a good leading dog
.” âAunt Effie.
leeward
the side of the ship sheltered from the wind
logarithm
a clever shortcut to doing arithmetic
long acre
the grass along the side of a road “
A famous firm of publishers in Dunedin
.” âJack.
loopholes
a slit or hole in the wall for firing arrows, spears, and guns through “
Every house should have plenty of loopholes
.” âAunt Effie.
mahogany
beautiful red-brown tropical hardwood “
Mahogany is what my knee does when it hurts
.” â Jazz.
mainsheet
the rope controlling the boom and mainsail
mangrove
a tree that seems to grow out of the water at high tide
maul
a bushman's heavy hammer for driving wedges
mizzen
the sail on the mizzen-mast
mizzen-mast
the mast nearest the stern
motor spirits
petrol
Old Puckeroo
Aunt Effie's favourite tonic “
Waipiro
⦔ â Daisy.
Parrish's Chemical Food
a nasty medicine “
It tastes like chewing old railway lines
.” âJared. “
And it leaves your teeth all furry
.” âCasey.
perdition
hell
pilot light
the little light that stays on for starting the burner on a steam car
pit-saw
a long saw used for sawing into planks a log pulled over a pit
pohutukawa
the magnificent red-flowered New Zealand coastal tree with the splendid botanical name: metrosideros excelsa “
Say it aloud!
” âJessie.
poley
a polled or hornless cattle-beast
ponga
a New Zealand tree fern
port
the left side of a ship looking ahead “
Aunt Effie likes a dollop of port in her Old Puckeroo
.” âLizzie.
pound
an old weight measurement of about half a kilogram
quoin
a wedge for raising and lowering the barrel when aiming a cannon
ratlines
(pronounced
rattlins
) a ladder of ropes tied between the shrouds
rimu, red pine
a tall, beautiful, New Zealand tree “
Droopy as a rimu
.” âJared.
reaching
sailing with the wind abeam, that is, at right angles to the scow “
Aunt Effie says it's important to know the difference between reaching and retching
.” â Lizzie.
ringbolt
a bolt with a ring through its head
royal topgallant mast
the royal is the very high mast above the topgallant mast which is above the topmast which is above the mainmast
running rigging
ship's ropes such as halyards and sheets which run through eyes and blocks when pulled
Sargasso Sea
a stagnant sea of weed and confusion
sanctuary
a safe place “
A dreadful place where you can't go to school
.” âDaisy.
scow
flat-bottomed sailing vessels built in New Zealand for the coastal trade from 1873 to the 1920s “
If we'd stuck to scows, we wouldn't need half the roads in New Zealand!
” âAunt Effie.
scuppers
openings in the bulwarks that let water run off the deck “
We scuppered that Rangi and his red
schooner!
” âCasey.
scurvy
what you get when you don't eat enough fruit and vegies “
And it serves you right!
” âDaisy.
send down
to lower the masts
sextant
an instrument which helps you find latitude and longitude, so telling you where you are on the map
shammy
a car polishing cloth made from chamois leather
share-milker
somebody who works another's dairy farm for a share of the profits
shear-legs
a tripod of three legs joined at the top for raising and lowering heavy things
sheet
a rope controlling a sail
sinker
a tree such as kahikatea which doesn't float
sloven
the jagged splintered part of the stump left when a tree is felled
slow-match
a slow wick or match which burns slowly without a flame, used for firing cannons
smoke-oh
morning and afternoon tea
snarlers
sausages
splice the main brace
the command to issue a special ration of rum
standing rigging
fixed ship's ropes such as stays and shrouds
starboard
the right side of a ship looking ahead
staysail (stays'l)
triangular sail set inside the jib
stow your gab
shut up!
stringers
tree trunks used as main bearers for a bridge
tack
to change the direction of a sailing ship
taihoa
hold on, take it easy, in a while
tally on
take or catch hold of a rope
Tamihana, Wiremu
a great 19th Century Maori leader of
Ngati Haua (see The Dictionary of New Zealand Biography;
www.dnzb.govt.nz/dnzb/
)
tampion
a plug in the mouth of a cannon, to keep it clean and dry
tawa
a New Zealand tree
tea-tree
a New Zealand scrub with sharp-tasting berries and leaves “
It might be called tea-tree, but it tastes like yuk!
” âCasey.
thigh waders
very long gumboots
transom
part of the stern
truncheon
a policeman's short cudgel
wad
a disc of cloth or paper that holds the charge and the cannonball in the barrel
waipiro
stinking water, swamp water, or alcohol
weather helm
a ship's tendency to come up into the wind
wharfinger
somebody in charge of a wharf
whim
a bush winch or windlass like a capstan, used to haul logs and heavy loads
wideawake
a broad-brimmed, low-crowned felt hat
Wind in the Willows, The
“
If you want to know more of messing about in boats, and driving magnificent cars, read The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame
.” âJessie.
Zeppelin
a German-designed airship “
I'm going to fly a Zeppelin when I grow up
.” âLizzie.