Autumn in the City of Angels (10 page)

The first thing I was conscious of was the metal spring digging into my side.  A musty smell came next.  Then I remembered where I was and opened my eyes.  A strip of light from beneath the door allowed me to see the painfully small room.  My thoughts immediately settled on Ben.  Where was he?  Was he safe?  Did he get back to Rissi?

I sat up and grimaced, feeling the grime that coated me from head to toe.  Most of the dirt was from the hole I’d burrowed through.  I thought of the bag I left there and wished I had it now.  A change of clothes would go a long way to make me feel better.

I heard a noise on the other side of the door, and a heavy knock made me jump.  I scrambled to my feet and pulled on the door, but it wouldn’t budge.  The end of the small mattress was curled up against the door, and I pushed it aside and yanked open the door.

Todd was on the other side, along with a beautiful raven-haired girl who looked a couple years older than me.

“Sorry if I woke you,” Todd said.  “I came back a few hours ago, but you were pretty out of it, so I thought I should let you sleep.”

“Oh, thank you.  And no, you didn’t wake me.”  I looked at the girl beside him, who was very polished and unrumpled compared to the other residents here.  I self-consciously smoothed my hair.

Todd gestured to her.  “This is Lydia.  She’s one of our medical people.”

I thought she looked too young to be a doctor, but it seemed rude to say so.  I’m sure doctors were fairly scarce now, so anyone with even a bit of medical training would be invaluable.  I would normally have offered my hand to shake hers, but as they were both encrusted with dirt and blood, I smiled instead.  “I’m Autumn.”

"Hello,” she replied back, unsmiling, in an accent I couldn’t quite identify.

After an awkward pause, Todd jumped in, “I wanted her to take a look at your hands.  I saw them last night and figured you could use some help cleaning up.  Come on.”

I followed them down the hall, blushing as I realized people were staring at me.  I remained silent, but let my eyes graze over all of the faces, searching for anyone who could be
him
.  I strained to hear the familiar tone of his voice, the voice I’d heard a thousand times in my dreams since that night in the alley.

As we walked, I got a good look at my new surroundings for the first time.  I could tell from the musty air and exposed ductwork that we were in the basement below the school.  Much of the space had been converted to living and sleeping areas and, as we entered a larger room, I was impressed with the number of people who must live here.  This room was a makeshift cafeteria, with at least twenty folding tables and a haphazard array of chairs filled with people eating.

Todd led us to an empty table and pulled out a couple chairs.  Lydia gracefully sat down and flipped a smooth lock of jet black hair over her shoulder.  My chair creaked as I sat down, and I showed her my palms.

She inspected them briefly and pulled a small bottle and a few bandages out of her jacket.  “We’ll need to make sure this doesn’t get infected.  Penicillin is scarce,” she said clinically, as if my hands being infected would be more of an annoyance to her than anything else.

She quickly squirted saline over my palms and set about cleaning and bandaging my wounds.  I winced at her not-so-gentle touch.

She noticed.  “Sorry,” she said flatly.  She wasn’t much for bedside manner.

Todd reappeared suddenly and slid a chipped ceramic bowl in front of me.  “Hope you like instant oatmeal.”

I hadn’t even realized he’d been gone.  I smiled at him.  “Yes, thank you.  And thank you for your hospitality last night.  The bed was very comfortable,” I said.  I put on as gracious a smile as I could muster while Lydia, still unsmiling, wound bandages tightly around my hands.

“Good.”  He sounded genuinely pleased.

“I was also curious about how to get back up to the street.  I don’t think I’d be able to find my way out through the maze you lead me through on the way in.”

“Leaving?  You just got here.”  My question seemed to immediately change his amiable mood.  I was instantly sorry for asking it.

“I know.  And I’m so grateful for the bed I was given, but my friends... we got separated just before the earthquake.  I just need to make sure they’re all right.”

He took a deep breath and looked at me accusingly, all traces of welcome wiped from his face.  “I’m sorry, but you won’t be leaving.”

It took a moment for the sentiment to register.  “You still think The Front sent me.”

“Doesn’t matter what I think.  We have rules here that protect us.  I’m sorry.”

My jaw dropped.  “You can’t... keep me here... against my will,” I tried.

“Done,” Lydia interjected as if she hadn’t heard our conversation.  I looked at my freshly wrapped hands as she stood up.

Todd motioned to my untouched bowl of oatmeal.  “Eat it now before it gets cold.  You won’t get another bowl until noon.  We pass out rations three times a day: seven, noon and six.  You get two water rations a day.  Reuse your bottles.  The bathrooms are down that hall.”  He pointed in the direction of another entrance to the large room.  When I looked back at him, he was striding toward the door we’d come in.  I jumped up and raced after him.

I made one last plea.  “Surely there’s some way to at least get them a message?  They don’t even know if I’m alive.  I don’t know if they’re alive.  Marissa is seven years old.  Ben and I left her to find water.  If he didn’t make it back, he could be in trouble.  She’s our responsibility.  Don’t you understand?”

I jumped in front of him to block the doorway.  Todd stopped and sighed.  “I do, and I’m sorry, Autumn, but the answer is no.  You’re not going anywhere for now.”

“Why?!”  I almost shouted at him.  People sitting near the door began to stare.

Todd brushed past me into the hallway and pulled me out after him.  “Even if you’re trustworthy, and I’m going to pretend you are, what if you’re taken?”

“I wouldn’t tell them about you!”

“You say that now.  But they can be persuasive.  Trust me.  This is our second hiding place.  We just can’t take the risk.”

“I’ll do whatever you need me to do.  Take every precaution.  I promise.  You can send people with me.  Tell them they can kill me on sight if they suspect anything.  I don’t care!  Please, I just have to get back.”

“No,” he said and walked away.

I stared at his back as he disappeared.  How could he be so uncaring?  What right did he have to keep me here?

My resentment for Todd grew over the next few days as I developed a new routine.  I’d been given a few chores to earn my keep.  I helped beat out dusty mattresses and washed the remnants of oatmeal out of bowl after bowl.  They must have an overstock of Quaker Oats, I thought miserably to myself.  I spoke to practically no one.

I saw Lydia in the halls a couple times.  She always ignored me.  It was just as well; I didn’t see myself ever connecting with her.  And I ignored the only other person I knew, Todd.  All I could think was that his rash decision sentenced Rissi to an eternity alone in that apartment, just like I thought I’d been for the first month after the Crimson Fever.  I worried about Ben and what had become of him.  My heart ached as I thought of Rissi sitting alone by the window, watching for us to come home.

I started to detest my current surroundings.  The minor damage from the earthquake was repaired, food was served, and basic needs were met, but it was still a dim, musty basement existence.  A high price for “safety,” I thought.

The one bright spot in my new dank and dusty life was that I was one of the few people with a private room.  Most weren’t so fortunate.  However, some of them had formed pseudo-family units with their roommates and didn’t seem to mind their sleeping arrangements.  They might even draw some level of comfort from them, like I had with Ben and Rissi.

In the days that followed my arrival, I kept my ears pricked, listening for the familiar voice that haunted me.  Just as I began thinking he’d been a ghost, I heard rumors the supply runners were due back soon.  I suddenly remembered what he’d said that night in the alley – that he was out scouting for supplies.  He had to be one of the supply runners.  The thought gave me hope again.

It was in the middle of the night when I woke to the sounds of rushing footsteps in the hall outside my door.  My heart jumped, wondering if The Front had found us, and then I realized — the supply runners were back.

I pushed myself into the rush of traffic down the hall, figuring the masses would lead the way.  No doubt, they had all done this countless times before.  We turned an unfamiliar corner, and suddenly we were inside a room larger than the makeshift cafeteria.  Based on the canned goods, gas canisters, barrels, boxes, clothes and extra mattresses stacked along the walls, I assumed this was the supply room.  The nearest corner was cordoned off, separated by sheets draped on strings.  There was rubble toward the back wall of the room from a partially collapsed wall, probably damage from the earthquake.  It was a shocking sight, but not enough to take my mind off my goal of finding
him
.

I was toward the back of the pack and could barely see any of the returning faces over the thirty or so people crammed into the room ahead of me.  I wished I was a foot taller. Though I shouldn’t be able to identify his face, I felt that I might instinctively know it.

It took a moment before I heard the sobbing.  It sounded like a woman near the front of the room.  I couldn’t stand not seeing, so I used my one asset, my small stature, and started slipping between the taller people, pushing my way to the front.

I finally got there, and just as soon wished I hadn’t.  Canned food was scattered on the floor around the feet of an unconscious boy, whose torso was bleeding badly.  The sobbing woman knelt over him.  A man with shaggy auburn hair, whose freckles showed even through the dirt on his face, stood over her trying to pull her away, while at the same time, keeping others back.  I stared at the hurt boy on the floor.  He was about my age and handsome, even though his face was a deathly shade of white against his brown hair.  My heart sank into my stomach, and I dug my fingernails into my healing palms.  As I watched, I couldn’t help but wonder if I might be witnessing the death of the boy I’d spent months dreaming about.

“Everyone stand back.”  A voice crashed against me like a cold ocean swell.  That was the voice,
his
voice.

Everyone pushed back to make room for a boy carrying a stretcher.  I stared at him as he prepared to move the injured boy onto the board.  My first thought was simply that he was beautiful.  He had short, blonde hair and a dirty, but perfectly sculpted face.  It was his eyes, though, that captured and held my attention.  They were so blue, like aqua crystals, and they had a luminance I’d never seen before, making his face seem to glow even though it was coated in a thin layer of dust and dirt.  I was suddenly thankful I hadn’t known what he looked like that first night.  I probably would have been too shy to even speak.

I noticed Lydia helping him and realized that of course they would know each other; they both had medical training.  Seeing him work next to the elegant Lydia, I felt every speck of dirt clinging to me like a barnacle on a pier.  All too soon, they had the boy secured on the stretcher and disappeared with him into the curtained area, which I realized was the medical area.  I was surprised when I felt a moment of panic as he disappeared.

“Everyone!  Hello... Let’s calm down folks.”  The crowd turned toward Todd, who towered above everyone near the door.  The room quieted except for the crying woman.  Her sobs echoed around the supply room.  A red haired man led her near the collapsed wall and found her a place to sit on a wooden crate, which seemed to help.  She didn’t take her eyes off the curtain to the medical area, though.

Todd continued, “Let’s give our medical people a little time to work their magic.  I know we’re all worried about Shad.  I was told he was injured protecting the crawlspace from The Front’s scouts.  We all owe him a debt of gratitude.”  Todd paused and offered a smile to the woman, who was now trying to collect herself.  He continued.  “Recovered rations weren’t quite as plentiful as we’d hoped for, so we’re going to have to cut back again...”

The crowd began to grumble, but Todd’s booming voice drowned them out.  “We’ll make it work.  We always do.  There’s going to have to be another supply run ahead of schedule, though.  We’ll have to start sending two groups at a time from now on to cover more area, at least until we find a new place to live.”

That got even more grumbles and questions.  Todd kept his voice level and reassuring.  “We’re all doing the best we can.  We’ll take this one step at a time.  Having said that, if you’re not here to help with inventory, then I suggest you clear out.”

Slowly, people turned and started to file out.  I heard a few mumbled comments about the supplies on the ground.  One man was particularly excited to see a Snickers bar poking out of one of the bags, but most of the people wondered about Shad and just how close The Front had come to discovering us.  They were already calling him a hero.  I thought they were probably right.

I hung back as long as I could, hoping to get one more glimpse of the handsome blonde boy before I left, but it never came.  I was ushered out of the room along with the rest of the crowd.

I walked quietly back to my room and sat in the darkness for a few minutes.  Then I heard sniffling and peeked into the hall.  There was a larger room adjacent to mine that I knew held three small mattresses like my own.  I had only made my way to the edge of the doorway when she spotted me.  It was the woman who was upset over the injured boy.

She quickly blotted her eyes.  “Oh, I’m sorry!  Did I wake you?”  She was very pretty with her light blonde hair pulled back into a short ponytail.  I guessed her to be in her late twenties.  She seemed truly distressed by the idea that she might have been keeping me awake.

“No, no,” I reassured her.  “I... just thought you might like some company?”  It was lame, but it was all I could think to say in the moment.  But to my surprise, she smiled gratefully at me.

“That would be nice, thank you.  Please have a seat.”  She gestured at the mattress next to her, and I sat down.  “So you’re the new girl.”

I nodded and introduced myself.  “I’m Connie,” she replied, tucking some blonde wisps behind her ears as she studied me.  “Todd said you’ve been on your own since it happened.”

She looked so concerned, I felt the need to reassure her.  “I was only alone for the first two and a half months, then I met Ben and Rissi.  Ben’s my age and his sister, Rissi, is seven... well, almost eight,” I corrected, recalling her birthday was soon.  Remembering that fact made me more anxious about getting a chance to talk to the boy from the alley.  He might be able to help me find a way out of here.

“They were living in the office of the building I was living in.  Ben was out looking for supplies when I discovered Rissi hiding in an air vent in the wall,” I chuckled at the memory.  “You should have seen her stuffed in there with her fairy wings.  I was so glad to find them.”

“Two and a half months,” she repeated.  “You must have been so scared.  How old are you?”

“Seventeen.”  The number felt foreign on my tongue, as if my aging had ceased to exist along with the rest of society.

“Wow, seventeen.  I remember seventeen.  Seems like a long time ago.”

It struck me as odd that she made herself sound so old.  “You’re not much older than me.”

That really brought her a smile.  “Twenty-nine.”  Her tears had stopped, and she brushed away the last of the moisture on her high cheekbone.  “Would you believe I used to be a mother of three?”  She raised her eyebrows and continued, “Three boys, all under the age of seven.  I had one of those double strollers.  It even had a cup holder for my Starbucks.  Oh, what I wouldn’t give for a caramel macchiato.”  She chuckled and then sighed.  “I miss my boys so much.  Dallas, Kent and Critter.”

“Critter!” I exclaimed.

“Well, Christopher.  Critter was his nickname.  He loved bugs.  He was always bringing something home in his pocket from the park.”  She shuddered and laughed sadly.

“Wow, you must have been like supermom or something.  I once volunteered in a daycare, and by the end of the day, I knew I’d never have more than one.”  We shared a laugh together.

“I never thought I’d have so many, honestly.  In my early twenties, a doctor told me and my husband, Ray, we’d never have children.  Then, a couple years later, I was pregnant with twins!”

“Wow.  That had to be a shock.”

“It was, and then two years later I was pregnant again.”  She reflected a moment, no doubt remembering her family.  Then her tone changed.  “I lost them
all
on the second day of The Plague.  I still don’t understand.”

I didn’t know what to say, so I remained silent, reminded of my own first month.

She continued, “Then I met Shad.  He broke into my house looking for food and supplies.  He was shocked to find someone else alive.  I was shocked, too, so shocked I nearly gave him a concussion with one of Ray’s golf clubs.  He’d lost his mom and four sisters.  He never seemed to mind me playing mother to him.  He’d been so used to living with women, I guess, with his mom and sisters.  We lived for a little while with another group, but they were very disorganized.  Then Todd found us, and we came here together shortly after that.  I don’t know how I’d have gotten through without Shad.”

“So, are there a lot of groups out there like this one, then?”  I had suspected there were others around who hadn’t joined The Front, but never had any real evidence.

“Oh, several.  None as big as this, though.  At least, none I’m aware of.  I know the people Shad and I were with were evenly split.  Some of them were tired of hiding from The Front and were planning on joining up.  The rest of us were holding out hope it wouldn’t come to that.  And then we met Todd.  Thank God.  I think he might have saved mine and Shad’s lives when he came along.”

This time the pause was longer, but I let the silence linger, suspecting she hadn’t quite finished.  Finally, she stared at her hands and said, “When I saw Shad lying there, covered in blood, next to death... it was like seeing my children dying all over again.”

“He’ll be okay.  The doctors will take good care of him.”

Connie nodded.  “Oh yes, Grey and Lydia are amazing.”

My heart skipped a beat.  Was that his name?  Grey?  Something clicked into place.  He’d given me his name all along.  He hadn’t been referring to a gray metro line in his note.  I suddenly felt silly for not realizing it sooner.

She smiled.  “Him and his girlfriend have been so good to all of us.”

I felt like I’d just been punched in the gut.  His girlfriend?  Could she really mean Lydia?  I thought back on the moment when I’d first met her, trying to picture her more clearly in my mind.  She was a stunning girl.  Black hair, at least two years older than myself, taller and by far more filled out.  I cringed inwardly.  There was no world in which I could compete with her.

I felt a pang of shame for allowing myself to dwell on my feelings for this mysterious boy.  I had so many more important things to focus on, the main thing being to find a way out of this school basement.  I had to get back to Ben and Rissi, no matter what.  I took a deep breath and tried to put Grey out of my mind.  It helped, but only a little.

“I wonder how much longer they’ll be?” Connie said with a sigh.  All I could do was reach out and hold her hand.  We sat in silence for a while.

Though she was anxious in waiting for news of Shad, I still felt maternal vibes flowing from her.  I closed my eyes, and I could have sworn I smelled my mother’s flowery perfume.

I was broken out of my reverie when she said, “I don’t know why, but I feel like I’ve seen you before.  You’re so familiar.”

I smiled.  I used to get that a lot.

“Have you ever been to Bakersfield?” she asked.

“You’re probably thinking of my mother.” I smiled.

“Is she from Bakersfield?” she asked.

I laughed.  My mother was such a city girl.  The thought of her going anywhere with a population under a few million always tickled me.

“No.  She was an actress.”  Her eyes lit up, as most people’s did when they realized who I was.  “You’re Adara O’Neal’s daughter!”  I smiled, my mother’s name like a soft blanket to my ears.  I thought how lucky I was to have other people remember my beloved mother’s legacy.  Most weren’t nearly that lucky.

She continued, “I love her movies.  She’s absolutely captivating.  Her speech at the Oscars a few years ago, when she talked about you and her mother and you were both sitting there in the front row... I cried!”  Connie’s blue eyes glistened with fresh tears, and she laughed, fanning them with her hand.

I smiled at the memory.  I was twelve, and what stuck out the most about that night wasn’t my sparkly dress, or my mother’s award, but the Shirley Temples at the after party, and how the bartender had given me extra cherries.

I looked at Connie, still laughing at herself.  Even through her worry and grief over Shad’s injuries, she was so full of joy.  I saw it in her eyes.  She reminded me of my mother, and I could see why Shad had taken to her.  Suddenly, I started to feel her anxiety over him.

“If you wanted, I could stay here tonight.  So you don’t have to be alone?” I said.  A tear escaped between her fingertips and slid down her face.  “I wouldn’t sleep in Shad’s bed, of course.  He’ll need it when Grey is done with him, but maybe I could stay in the spare bed?”  I hoped she’d pick up on my positive spin.

She nodded happily.  “That would be nice.  Maybe you can tell me what it was like to grow up with a movie star mother.  I love to hear about that stuff... if you don’t mind, that is.”

I laughed and agreed.  Connie and I talked for hours.  With the absence of sunlight, it was difficult to get a good sense of the time of day.  It felt early, but the hall lights were still dimmed to indicate nighttime by the time we both fell asleep.

The sound of the door opening woke me.  I was curled into a fetal position on the mattress closest to Connie.  When I finally gained enough consciousness to realize who our guest was, I was instantly mortified.  It was Grey.  And I was a mess.

“Good morning, Autumn.  I’m glad to see you here,” he said very quietly, his crystal blue eyes watching me intently and a half-smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

His voice echoed in my ears and ran down my spine.  It was even richer than I’d remembered.  I loved the way it felt as it reverberated inside me.  Then I realized I hadn’t answered him yet, and there was a pause that was now bordering on awkward.

“Hi,” I managed.  “Grey, is it?”

He smiled warmly.  “Yes.  Grey Alexander.”  He crept further into the room and knelt next to my mattress, glancing at Connie.  “Have you been keeping Connie company all night?”

I nodded.

“That was very kind of you,” he said with a warm smile.  “She and Shad are very close.  I’m sure this has been hard for her.”  He glanced at Connie’s sleeping form again, a worried expression on his face.  While he was looking away, I let my eyes wander over him, memorizing details.  His gray t-shirt and jeans were clean, and he’d washed his face, though I could still see traces of dirt on the back of his neck.  My eyes fixed on his shoes: Jack Purcells, just like Sarah wore, except his were black.  I already felt like I knew him better than anyone down here.

He looked back at me, and I whipped my head up, hoping he hadn’t caught me looking.

“Do you think she’d mind if I woke her up to tell her about Shad?”

My stomach, which was already in knots from talking to Grey, seemed to get even tighter, making me feel sick. “Did he make it?”  I stumbled over the words, scared of the answer.

He smiled and said, “He did.  He’ll make a full recovery over the next month.  He was very lucky.”  I felt my smile wobble.  I was so relieved, and yet I felt again the weight of anxiety and the exhaustion that went with it.  I didn’t want Grey to see me break, so I put my head in my hands.  After all I’d learned about Shad the night before, I was so glad he’d made it, that Connie would have him back.

“Have I upset you?”  He seemed confused at my reaction.

I couldn’t yet bring myself to look at him.  I didn’t want him to see me blubbering like an idiot.  My head was still in my hands, and I shook it from side to side, and managed to say, “No.”  I felt his warm hand on my back, and tingles bloomed over my skin.