Ava Comes Home (29 page)

She gave his hand a squeeze. “Well, why don't we find out?”

He looked at her then. She smiled.

“Okay.”

He drove her to his house and they went inside. He wasn't sure what to do next, but she seemed to know exactly what she was doing. She took his hand and led him to bedroom, closing the door behind him.

“You don't have to say anything,” she said. “We'll go as slow as you want.”

He nodded.

She reached out with her arms and touched his chest through his shirt. She left her hands there for a few moments before she came closer and put them around his waist. She spread her palms across his back and brought her face close to his. She kissed him softly, once, twice, three times, before he kissed her back.

As soon as he did, she pulled him to the bed and made him sit down on the edge of it. “Stay very still,” she said.

He swallowed. He stopped thinking with his mind and started to listen to his body. She stood in front of him and did a slow strip tease. She somehow knew this was best. She didn't touch him, didn't demand anything from him, just slowly took off her clothes only inches away from him.

When he reached out and pulled her down onto the bed with him, he wasn't frightened anymore. She helped him remove his clothes and when their bodies came together, the touch of skin on skin was one he remembered. It did feel nice to hold a woman in his arms again. She smelled good. That was something he missed the most—the scent of a woman, how her hair and her skin and her lips all seemed to have their own perfect perfume.

But as soon as he started to make love to her, his neglected body betrayed him and it was over much too soon. Seamus was embarrassed. She told him to hush, that it was only natural. He was reassured by her quiet manner. She talked to him in the dark and after a while she reached for him again. This time he was able to make her feel good—his own small victory.

They fell asleep then, but some time a few hours later, Seamus woke up. He wasn't sure where he was at first—he felt a body beside him and for one delirious moment he thought it was Libby. But because he thought of her and not his wife, he felt he betrayed Sally. Here he was in their bed, making love to a stranger, yet dreaming of his first sweetheart.

He groped on the floor for his jeans, put them on and walked out of the bedroom. Closing the door behind him so as not to wake Jennifer, he walked into the living room, where the moonlight over the still water of the bay cast a dreamy glow. He thought how beautiful it looked. A night for lovers.

Seamus sat on the couch and tears came unbidden. As much as his body had released its energy, so now did his heart. He thought of the women in his life, the wasted years, the happy years, the unbearable sad years. It was too much.

He was gradually aware that he wasn't alone. Jennifer stood in the doorway with a sheet around her. He turned to her.

“I'm sorry.”

She looked sad. “I understand. I wish it was different, but I understand. I can't compete with a memory.”

He didn't correct her.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

One morning in early August, Lola got a phone call. She took it upstairs. When she didn't come back downstairs after forty minutes, Ava crept up the steps to listen and see if she was still talking. She heard Lola crying instead.

Ava opened the bedroom door slowly. “Are you alright? What's wrong?”

“That was my Dad,” Lola sniffed. “Mom's been told she has breast cancer.”

Ava went to her and took her in her arms. Lola cried on her shoulder as they rocked back and forth. After awhile, Lola calmed down long enough to wipe away her tears.

“I'm sorry. Here I am crying my eyes out and my mother is still alive.”

“Well, of course you're crying. You have every right.”

“I've seen firsthand what it's like for someone to lose their mother and I don't think I can stand it.”

“Sweetheart, I think you're jumping the gun. There are a million things they can do to help women these days. It's not an automatic death sentence anymore.”

“You're right,” Lola nodded. “But Dad was so upset.”

“Well, of course he was. He needs you. Your mother needs you. You have to go, Lola.”

Lola looked at her friend. “I don't want to leave you, but…”

“Don't be ridiculous. As you can see, I'm well taken care of. You should get home to your parents right away.”

“Well, it's still almost a month before you have to go to New York. If things work out, I'll be able to meet you there.”

“Of course. But if you need to stay longer, do it. If there's one thing I've learned in the last couple of months, it's never to squander time with your family. It's the most important thing in life.”

They went downstairs and broke the news to Aunt Vi and Uncle Angus.

“Oh, you dear child!” Aunt Vi hobbled across the kitchen to give Lola a hug. “We'll miss you something awful, but your mother needs you.”

Uncle Angus rose from the rocking chair and Lola ran over to him next. He gave her a big hug too. Then he put his hand in his pocket and took out a handful of change. “You're gonna need a couple of loonies for the parking meter at the airport. The bastards are always scrounging money for no goddamn reason.” He picked through his coins and handed her four loonies.

“I'm calling you Uncle Loonie from now on,” Lola said through a grin.

“You can call me whatever you like,” Uncle Angus said. “Just as long as you call me.”

Lola started to tear up again, so she quickly ran upstairs. Ava followed.

She packed her bags and Ava drove her to the airport for the first flight that would take her to Halifax and, from there, to Toronto and on to Chicago. As they waited, they remembered their arrival all those months before.

“I feel as if an entire lifetime has elapsed since we walked through those doors,” Ava said.

“I remember how nervous you were. Nervous and edgy and angry, if the truth be told.”

“You're right, I was. I was afraid of them; afraid that I'd be a disappointment or that they'd hate me.”

“You've been proven very wrong, haven't you?”

“Very.”

“It's at times like this that I wish I was lucky enough to have a brother or sister.”

“You have me. I'm your sister in everything that's important. We don't have to share the same chromosomes.”

Lola grabbed her hand. “Yes, you are. And I thank God for that everyday.”

Her flight was called and they rose to their feet. They hugged each other for a long time.

“Thank you for everything, Lola. I'll miss you so much, but I'm glad you're going.”

“Me too. I'll call you when I get home, after I've talked to Mom.”

“Yes, please. I'll be waiting.”

As Lola went through security, Ava went over to the same window her own relatives had stood in front of the night she arrived. With only one gate at Sydney Airport, she was able to watch Lola walk to the small jet that sat on the runway. Lola went up the steps and turned around to give Ava one last wave, then ducked her head and disappeared.

It was as if the sun had gone behind a cloud.

Lola called later that night to tell them that she arrived safely and her mother felt much better now that her own little family was together again. She promised to call often and keep them up to date on her progress.

When Ava turned in that night, she felt sorry for herself. The bed next to her was empty and she was lonely. Without Lola to distract her, she was aware of how alone she was. She was desperate enough to place a call to Hayden. A woman answered his cell.

“Is Hayden there, please?”

“He's around somewhere. I think he may be in the shower. Can he call you back?”

Rattled, Ava dithered for a moment before the voice said, “Oh never mind. Here he is. Sweetie, it's for you.”

“Yes?”

“Hayden.”

“Babe! How are you?”

“Not as good as you.”

“Why Ava, I didn't know you were the jealous type.”

“I'm not.”

“Doesn't sound like it.”

“Never mind, you're busy.”

“I was busy. Not anymore.”

“You've already screwed her then.”

“Don't be nasty.”

“Sorry.”

“Listen, babe, we both agreed we're free agents when we're away from each other.”

“Did I actually agree to that?”

“Yes, you did.”

“I was nuts.”

“I thought it was quite clever of you.”

“You would,” she laughed.

“What can I do, Ava?” he sighed. “They throw themselves at me all day long. A man can only resist so long.”

“Fine. Go enjoy yourself.”

“Don't be mad at me. I remember a night not long ago when I made you very happy for a quite long time. And I promise you, I don't do that for everyone.”

She didn't say anything.

“I'm right. Say it.”

“You're right.”

“You loved it. Couldn't get enough of it, you sexy thing. Actually, that's what turns me on the most.”

She lay back in bed. “What?”

“How you have this little miss innocent demeanor, but you're a very accomplished lover. Always willing to be just slightly naughty. God, thinking of it now, I'm getting myself quite worked up.”

“Are you?”

“Mmm. What are you wearing?”

She looked at her ratty old nightgown and lied. “Nothing.”

“Good. Just the way I like you. You do have the most gorgeous body. You are aware of that fact, I hope.”

“It's not getting much attention, I'm afraid.”

“If I was there, I'd be giving it a great deal of attention. Especially my favourite spots.”

“And those are?”

“Well, besides the heavenly obvious ones, that little mole on your bottom right-hand rib has a way of making me dizzy with desire.”

She covered her eyes with her arm. “Oh god, you have no idea how

lonely I am.”

“I don't want you to be lonely. Why don't you come home? I'll make you feel better in no time.”

Her heart sank at the prospect of heading back to Los Angeles. “I'll be there soon enough. Don't mind me, I'm fine.” She changed the subject. “So what's new with you?”

He droned on about himself, as she knew he would. Finally she said she had to go.

“Sweet dreams…of me,” Hayden laughed.

“Good night, Hayden.”

She hung up the phone and curled into a little ball.

It felt different being in the house without a friend or her mother. Aunt Vi and Uncle Angus were slowly getting their lives back and they had their own friends, who dropped by to help or take them somewhere. It was as if the early summer had been a lovely dream with Lola and Maurice and Harold and then, suddenly, it was back to real life.

Her sisters and brothers had their families and some of them were away on vacation or busy with soccer practice and baseball games. Mothers with children to entertain and keep out of trouble were on double duty in the summer when their kids were out of school. They called often and invited her along and she did go on some outings, but the day she went to see her nephew play baseball, the women in the bleachers all wanted her autograph and created a bit of a fuss. She saw her nephew gesture to his mom as if to say, is she here to see me or be a star? She told Bev she had a headache and had to go. Bev almost looked relieved.

After a few days of wandering around like a lost soul, she thought she'd go to the beach by herself. She packed her own lunch and headed out for Kennington Cove, but when she drove by Mira Gut, she was surprised to see the beach not as crowded as usual, so she decided she might as well take advantage of it.

It was a nice day, but not a scorcher. The tide was very low. Ava was content to take her blanket and umbrella and sit in the sand. She had a good book with her and spent a nice couple of hours reading, then ate an apple and got a little drowsy. She wasn't sure how long she was dozing when she felt a cold little finger poke her. Ava lifted her head and saw a small black shadow against the sun. She shielded her eyes from the glare and gradually a little girl came into focus. She was trying to give her something.

“Hello.”

“Ell.” She opened her fist and held out a sandy seashell.

“For me?”

“Yeah.”

Ava took it. “Thank you. It's very pretty.”

Then she heard a man call out, “Sarah?”

“Yeah?”

He ran over. “There you are. You scared me to death.” He took his daughter's hand. “I'm sorry. She likes…”

Ava sat up. “…to give people things.”

He took a step back. “Libby.”

“Seamus.”

He looked like he was having trouble finding something to say, so she helped him. “She's beautiful, especially in that bathing suit.”

Seamus smiled. “Yes, she loves it.”

She had a hard time taking her eyes off his body. It was a man's body. Someone she didn't know. She noticed he never took his eyes off hers.

“Do you come to this beach often?”

“Yes, at low tide. It makes it easier for me to watch them.” He looked a little sheepish. “Although I wasn't doing a very good job a minute ago.” As if he suddenly remembered he had another child, he turned around quickly and called Jack's name. Jack waved. He was digging a big hole and was quite content.

“Are you here by yourself?” he asked her.

“Yes, my friend Lola had to go home, a family emergency.”

“That's too bad.”

“I miss her.”

“I'm sure you do. How are you feeling? Better?”

“Yes. I'm much better.”

Sarah wiggled out of his grasp and ran back to her brother. Without her there, it felt awkward, as if a barrier had been removed and now there was nothing between them. It felt dangerous. Ava closed her eyes and sighed. “I'm tired of this. It's ridiculous. Why do we feel as if we're doing something wrong, just standing here?”