Avenger (16 page)

“Go,” Mace said, pointing to Raven. “He kept you alive last night, and I don’t think it was the easiest task. I’m sure he’s anxious to talk.”

When Mace turned to leave, she reached out and grabbed his hand.

He looked down at her grasp, almost surprised. “Don’t worry. I’m not going far. And don’t worry about how long your conversation takes — I get the feeling the two of you have a lot to discuss.”

She watched as he rose into the sky, his wings carrying him over the treetops. Once he disappeared, she walked toward the cave, and whatever awaited her inside. Up close, Raven’s eyes were red-rimmed and framed with dark circles. She’d planned on saying something catchy and cute, but the words died in
her mouth. All she could do was drop to her knees and use her finger to trace the purplish half moon beneath one of his eyes.

“You did good back there.” Raven reached up to grab her hand, his fingers closing around hers.

“You taught me how to fight.”

“Not really. I just stirred up the warrior inside. Good to see Mace?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” His deep voice broke on the word.

She flashed a frown.

“I love you, Nikki.”

She opened her mouth but he stopped her words. “Don’t. Don’t talk. Don’t say anything. You need to hear this and I got one shot at getting it out.” His voice cracked again, and she could feel her own throat closing up as he took in a long intake of air and continued. “This whole mess is twisted, you know? I never wanted to be in it. And until last night I didn’t think I’d be willing to get out of it.”

“You’re sounding kind of morbid, Raven. Can we talk about something else?” His fingers traced a path on her palm.

“I’m not sure why it took me so long to see.”

“See what?”

“Mace loves you more than I ever will.”

She felt like she’d been punched directly in the stomach.

“Sorry.” He shrugged. “But look at it. I went after you because it’s what I wanted. I pursued you because it was best for me. I never thought about what was best for you. I told myself I did, but it tasted like a lie every time I swallowed it. Of the three of us, Mace is the only one who repeatedly put his desire aside to give you what you need. That in itself proves he’s the one.”

“I do love Mace, but you’ve always been there for me.”

“That’s not enough to base lifelong love on, Nikki. You deserve better than that. Mace will challenge you. He’ll expect you to continue to grow, to become a real warrior for the battle ahead. But he will do it the right way, with what you need as the center focus.”

Her emotions felt like a tangled mess. “You’re the one who’s always challenging me.”

“No. I was doing whatever was opposite of Mace. I don’t really know how to love sacrificially.”

“That’s not true.” Her grip tightened on him; she would hold him here forever if she had to.

“Mace is your match. I didn’t see it until last night. But now it’s crystal clear.”

“Why does everyone keep talking about last night?
What happened last night?
”

“You don’t remember?”

“No!”

“Last night your heart spoke what your mind hasn’t let you. Mace is the one.”

With horrible clarity, she remembered talking about Mace. To Raven. Nausea roiled in her gut. Nikki was going to throw up.

“Calm down.”

“Oh, Raven, I’m so, so sorry.” And that sounded so, so lame. Memories spiked into her mind, each one a scalpel, cutting away her clouded emotions, cutting away Raven. The night’s conversation rang with more and more clarity. She’d talked about Mace. How she felt, how she loved him. This was horrible.

Time stretched out before them as the words she’d spoken filled her head, sitting there like guilty little children. Trees fluttered in the breeze, water crashed on rocks. “Nikki, I’m headed in a different direction.”

Her grip on his hand tightened as if the will in her fingers could stop him. “Please don’t run away again, Raven.”

He blinked away the hint of moisture. “That’s not what I mean. After last night …” He made circles on her hand with his thumb. “When I realized, I felt like dying.”

Nikki forced her eyes to focus. How could she have been so cruel — even if she was fighting poison? What kind of a monster does that?

He gave her hand a squeeze. “Let me finish, okay?”

She nodded.

“But then it was like the part of me that had just died made way for something fresh. There was a new —”

“Freedom?” she asked, barely getting the word out before she choked on it.

“Yeah.” He smiled and pulled her closer, making a place for her to sit beside him. She tucked her shoulder beneath his arm, head against his chest. “There was a new freedom. You belong with Mace. And I
belong
somewhere else.”

She tilted her head to look up at him, but he stopped her by holding her snug against his chest. The muscles beneath were rock hard, and she wondered if this was as difficult for him to say as it was for her to hear. A drop landed on her scalp in response. “Where, Raven?”

“There’s still a journey for me that involves Dr. Richmond. I’ve known it since the beginning, and now it feels imminent.”

Her science teacher. And the man who worked for Omega Corporation and Damon Vessler years ago.

She pressed closer into him. “Will you really go away?” She didn’t think she could bear it. And yet, she knew she couldn’t bear watching him hurt while she spent time with Mace.

“Who knows? Vessler’s reach is far. Maybe we’ll all be expected to help Richmond.”

Nikki pushed back to look at him. “You think Dr. Richmond is in danger?”

“If not now, soon. But Halflings never work alone, so if the Throne is expecting me to get more involved in Richmond’s life, the rest of the team is sure to follow.”

“The other Halflings and Will?”

He nodded. “And you.”

She hadn’t considered that.

“You’re a Halfling, Nikki. You’ve been drafted by the Throne, and have some pretty mind-blowing wings to prove it. You’ll be expected to fight.”

Her heart whooshed in her ears. For so long, everything had centered around her — keeping her safe, keeping her alive. Now, she was one more player on the field, and it was others whose lives were in danger. She couldn’t decide if she wanted to whoop or scream.

“That’s if pretty boy will let you fight.”

Nikki frowned. “He’s not in charge of me.”

“Ah, that’s the warrior I love to see.”

She rolled her eyes. He’d baited her. Easily. “You said Mace would challenge me.”

“He will, Nikki. He’ll make sure you stay at the top of your game. Don’t forget, you’re not out of danger yet. Vessler is still out there. He still wants you.”

She shrugged. “He gave his best shot and he didn’t break me. I’m not a dark creature like he planned.” A new feeling rose within her, a sense of supremacy, a strength she’d never known before. She
wasn’t
dark. “He can’t touch me.”

Raven flashed a scowl. “Don’t get cocky.”

She shook her head. “Not cocky, just sure. What can he do to me? He tried everything in his power to get me to turn. I beat the seeker, Raven. That means I beat Vessler.”

Concern closed over his features.

Nikki pushed off him, irritated that he’d be so quick to warn her after she’d just experienced such a victory.

Raven didn’t speak. He reached out and stopped her from moving away. Then he gripped her arms and looked at her as if he stared into her soul. For a long time, they stayed like that, and Nikki felt her irritation melting. Once the last shreds had peeled away, Raven pulled her into his arms.

And there he held her for a long, long time.

Chapter 13

A
re you okay?” Mace asked as she folded the sleeping bag and tucked it into the backpack. She’d been cleaning ever since Raven broke their embrace.

Her hair bobbed in front of her as she nodded, but she didn’t trust her voice to speak. Mace crossed the cave to where she stood and gently took the backpack. He dropped it on the ground and cupped her face.

“Your eyes are red from crying.” He kissed her cheek on one side, then the other, and she melted into him. She didn’t want to. She wanted to feel nothing. It seemed an even worse betrayal to Raven to relish Mace’s touch.
Raven
. Her heart cracked yet again.
How could one girl cause so much damage?

Mace glanced down the rock corridor leading deeper into the cavern. “Where is he?”

“Gone.” She hated her voice. “He said he’d let Will and the others know the seeker is dead.”

Mace’s face troubled. “Is he —”

“Okay? I don’t know.” Nikki pressed her lips together, wanting, needing to tell Mace what happened. “He spent last night listening to me talk about you. How much I love you, how much I need you. And whenever he’d try to bring the conversation back to himself, I got angry.” She watched as the horror registered on Mace’s face. Raven must not have given him all the details.

He pulled her into his arms and rested his chin on her head. “Oh, Nikki. I’m so sorry. You didn’t mean to hurt him.”

She wrenched herself from him and attacked the backpack again. “I didn’t mean to hurt him, but I did.” She grabbed the empty can of fruit cocktail and took it to the mouth of the cave. Outside, the forest was a blur. She held the can beneath the rushing water then shook off the excess before dropping it into the pack. “Does it matter that I didn’t mean to? Oh, sorry, did I just split that atom? Didn’t mean to. Oops, did I just press the button and start World War Three? I didn’t mean to.”

He came at her. “Nikki, stop.” His hands closed on her upper arms; his touch was warm, almost hot against her skin.

She stared past him to the crack in the cave wall where a line of ants marched. “You know the worst part of this?” Nice, straight rows of ants carrying tiny bits of dirt and food. “He said it gave him freedom, letting me go. And instead of being happy about that, I was hurt by it. How horrible am I?”

Mace’s fingers twitched then loosened on her arms. “You’re not horrible. You’re human. Well, you’re not completely human, but you have human emotions. They don’t come with an on and off switch.”

“If they did, this would have been a whole lot easier.”

“You care for Raven, even love him on some levels.” He raised the side of his mouth. “I’ve come to terms with that. So
it’s natural that you’d feel like you’re losing him. And it’s natural that your emotions would react to that.”

She huffed.

“You know, for the very first time, I was beginning to wonder if Raven was the one for you. Then I came here.”

“What a mess the three of us are. You wanting to give me up for Raven, me wanting to let you both go because all I seem to do is hurt you, and Raven giving me up for you.”

“I guess we were all trying to do the right thing.”

Mace caught her chin between his thumb and finger and forced her to look at him.

She tried to break his grip. “How horrible am I for talking to you about this?”

“Nikki,
deep
in my heart, I’ve always known you and I would end up together. Even though earlier, I was doubting it. Fact is, you’re my match. And I’ve always known that you were scared for Raven, thought he wouldn’t be okay if you didn’t choose him.”

“Am I so easy to read?”

“For me, yes.”

She gave him the tiniest smile, her cheeks stretching and cracking after so much salt from the tears she’d cried. “I knew you could be okay without me. But I didn’t know if Raven could.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. I couldn’t live without you, Nikki. You’re air to me.”

In that moment she knew it was all right for her to grieve for Raven, for the loss. That’s what was so remarkable about Mace. His strength, his ability to cut through all the emotions to find the truth. She’d need a little time to heal, and Mace would give her that. No, he’d insist on it. Then he’d challenge her. He’d
make her be a better person than she was. He’d force her to fly. “So, what do we do now?”

He put the backpack on his shoulder. “We can go back to the house on Pine Boulevard. Will had the entire group come to Missouri after the seeker appeared. We have to keep a closer watch on Vessler.”

“Everyone’s staying on Pine?”

“Actually, Will’s going to let the girls sleep at their apartment downtown. Zero’s back at the underground.”

Ah, the underground, the mysterious place in Arkansas where Nikki first met the icy-eyed, sharp-tongued Halfling. “I bet he’s glad to be home.”

“You have no idea. And he’s keeping busy watching Omega Corporation.”

Which meant he was watching Vessler. For the briefest of moments it felt like there was something Mace wasn’t telling her; the way his words clipped at the ends. She tried to brush it off but couldn’t. “You going to tell me what’s going on in that stubborn head of yours or do I have to guess?”

“What?” He seemed surprised.

“Whatever it is, you’re avoiding saying.”

His jaw twitched. “We confirmed Vessler is the one who sent the seeker.”

She’d assumed it, of course, but to hear it said as fact made her a little dizzy. Vessler had tried to make her believe he’d cared about her — and on some insane level, she still believed he had — even though his version of love was twisted. But twisted enough to send such a vile creature to hunt her? She thought about it only a moment. Yes, that’s exactly what Vessler would do. “Why does he want me so badly?”

“Nikki, Will thinks we should be close to Omega, but I disagree.
I think the safest place for you is at Viennesse. We could go there —”

“And what, Mace? Hide until Vessler comes up with some other scheme? Some other monster from the pit? I’m tired of hiding. Will’s right — we need to be close to Vessler and his operation. He can’t get to me anymore. I defeated the seeker.”

“That doesn’t mean you’re out of danger.”

Ugh. Why did he and Raven keep reminding her of that? Couldn’t they just be happy for two minutes that she’d won? “Mace, people have died because of me. To protect me.”

“You mean the Frenchmen.”

“Not just them. And others died by association. I won’t go into hiding. I owe it to them. To avenge them.”