Awake (3 page)

Noah

I SAT THROUGH
another un-insightful English Literature lesson, bored out of my mind. We had yet to leave the classroom in my two weeks in mainstream school. Learning wasn’t just about reading from textbooks.

Scarlett sat beside me. I’d made sure to sit next to her enough that now her friends leave a space open for me if I don’t make it to class first. She didn’t seem to have any issue with it.

Unsurprisingly, we were reading Shakespeare. What I didn’t understand was once we’d finished Romeo and Juliet we’d be watching the film. It was as if the teachers had given up.

Imogen turned around and said, “Movies and arcade tonight?”

“I do hope your interruption to the lesson has something to do with the Montague’s and Capulet’s, Miss Forest,” Mr Stevenson said.

Imogen turned back, scowling and muttered, “Sorry, sir.”

“You want to come tonight, too?” Scarlett whispered when Mr Stevenson went back to whatever he was doing at his desk.

“I thought that maybe we could do something together instead.”

She blinked three times before replying, “We went together last time.”

“I know, but everyone was there, too.”

Scarlett was awful at concealing how she felt. Her eyes widened a fraction, and her posture lifted. “What do you want to do?”

“I’d like to take you on a walk.”

“A walk?”

“Yes,” I replied smiling. So far we’d not spent time alone, her friends were always with us. I needed to get her alone. “I promise you’ll enjoy it.”

She turned her nose up. “Doubt it but I’ll go.”

Of course she would. “Great, I’ll pick you up at four to give you time to change after school.”

Nodding her head, she went back to reading. It was obvious that she didn’t want to walk, but she did want to spend time with me. I needed to be able to get her to do things.

The bell rang, signalling lunchtime. I closed the book, which I’d already read when I was nine and put it in my bag. “You hungry?” I asked Scarlett as we left the classroom.

“Starving. I’m getting chips today for sure.”

“You know they’re cooked in a lot of oil don’t you?”

“Yep,” she replied.

That was another thing I didn’t understand. Far too many people didn’t care about what they put
inside
their body. They ate things they
knew
were bad for them.

“What’re you having? Another salad?”

“Probably,” I replied. It was about the only thing I knew wasn’t crawling with chemicals and additives. “It’s nice, you should try it.”

She halted. “You think I need to swap chips for a salad?”

“What the hell, Noah?” Imogen snapped. “How dare you call her fat!”

“What? I never called her fat.” I turned to Scarlett. “You know that’s not what I meant.” She frowned, and I panicked. Touching her arm, I smiled. “Come on, you don’t think that’s what I was saying. There’s not one part of you that needs to change. I was just talking on a health level, not weight loss.”

“Scarlett, come with me,” Imogen said, glaring at me.

“Why does she need to take you away? I’ve explained the misunderstanding,” I said, stroking Scarlett’s forearm with my thumb.

“It’s fine, Im, I know what he meant.”

“Seriously? I know you’re not used to a lot of attention from a boy, but this is ridiculous.”

Scarlett shrank and bit the inside of her lip. I wanted bite back and tell Imogen exactly what I thought of her, but that probably wouldn’t do me many favours with Scarlett.

“I think maybe you should go and find Bobby and Chris before you hurt your
best friend’s
feelings even more,” I said.

“This is a joke. Why are you letting him walk all over you?” Imogen said.

“I’m not walking all over her, Imogen, you are.”

She held her hands up. “Whatever.”

I waited until she left to say, “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” she replied. “Think she’ll talk to me again anytime soon?”

“Honestly, I think she’s the one that should be worrying about that. She had no right to talk to you that way.”

Scarlett shrugged. “She gets like that sometimes.”

I gritted my teeth and let go of her arm. Why didn’t she stand up for herself more?

“Well, I’m sorry for my part in it,” I said, sidestepping so I was in front of her.

She gazed up and bit her lip. Her dark blue eyes shone. She really was incredibly beautiful. The longer I stared at her, the harder my heart beat. “It wasn’t your fault,” she whispered, her eyes flicking to my lips and then back up.

Heat flooded through my body. I wanted to kiss her, too. She was so alluring, so sweet and pure. I couldn’t kiss her. Not yet. I had to remember what I was doing here.

I exhaled hard. “Let’s get you those chips.”

Grinning she replied, “Nah, I might try a salad since I have it on good authority that they don’t suck.”

Laughing, I put my hand on her back and led her into the canteen towards the salad bar. “They definitely don’t
suck
.”

After school, I went home to change into some warmer clothes and my walking boots and left to get Scarlett.

She opened her front door and pouted. “Is this appropriate walking wear?”

“Yes, you look great.” She had on a fleece zip up jacket, slim jeans and boots.

“Okay, let’s go walking then.”

“Are your parents in? Shouldn’t I talk to them about where we’re going first?”

Giggling, she shook her head. “They’re both at work still. I’ve told Jeremy, though.”

“Alright, let’s go.”

“Where exactly are we going?”

“You have a great countryside here, so we’re going to explore it a little. I promise to have you back before dark.”

As we walked along the path, I took her hand. She was warm and inviting and so unable to hide her smile that it almost made me laugh. I liked the feel of her hand in mine far too much.

“Okay. I’ve not really explored where I live before.”

“Why not?”

“Well, we moved around a lot growing up. We’ve been here about three years now, and it’s the longest we’ve stayed in the same place.”

“Really? Why do you move so often?”

“Dad’s work.”

“Oh,” I replied, looking away. I wondered if they would ever give her the true reason. “Do you think you’ll move again?”

“Not sure. They seem settled so hopefully not. I have friends now.”

“You didn’t before?”

“No, there was no point. We’d move on and lose contact, so I stopped trying to get to know people.”

That sounded so painfully lonely. If she had never been taken she wouldn’t have ever had to know what loneliness felt like.

“The people I’m friends with back home I’ve known since I was little. We’re a close community. I can’t imagine what it was like to grow up with just your brother.”

She lazily lifted a shoulder in a shrug. “I didn’t know any different, so it was fine.”

“You may have. Did you move a lot before the fire?”

“I…I don’t think so, but I’m not sure. We could have.”

“Do you not know much about that time?”

“I remember nothing,” she said.

“But your parents must have told you all about it.”

“I guess.”

Why doesn’t she want to remember? I wanted her to,
needed
her to.

“Perhaps you’ll get those memories back one day.”

She would. I was determined to push gently and often to get her to try to remember.

We took a public footpath and followed it through fields and past forests. The familiarity of it settled something inside. I missed my community so much but when I was outside I felt a connection to them through nature and being among elements.

Soon Scarlett would understand how that felt, too.

Noah

I HAD NEVER
been excited to see a girl before. Scarlett made me feel things I didn’t think I’d experience until I was a lot older. I wasn’t supposed to feel
anything
for her. That shouldn’t be possible.

The doorbell rang, and I wiped my hands on my jeans. That was her. My parents were sitting reading on the sofa opposite. They looked up and smiled.

“Are you ready, Noah?” Dad asked.

I nodded once and stood. “I’m always ready.”

There was a lot riding on my ability to win over Scarlett. I had to make this work. Taking a look in the mirror in the hallway, I took a deep breath and gave myself a silent pep talk. Thinking of home gave me strength. There was a lot of distance between me and my people but knowing they were all behind me spurred me on.

I opened the door, and she was standing holding a carrier bag and grinning as much as I probably was. Being around her was euphoric.

April had rolled around quickly. I loved spring; everything was coming to life again, and the air was considerably warmer.

“Ready for our movie night? I can’t believe you’ve not had a movie night in with friends before.”

I shrugged and moved to let her inside. “I prefer to be outside.”

“Well, you’ve been missing out on something great.”

“Hello, Scarlett,” Mum said, conveniently walking out of the living room as Scarlett came in. They were going to have to stop popping up everywhere, or it was going to look weird.

“Hi, Mrs York.”

“Call me Bethan, remember?” Mum said.

Scarlett nodded. “Right.”

“What do you two have planned for today then?”

Holding up the bag, she replied, “Snacks and movies.”

“That sounds fun. Keep your bedroom door open please, Noah.”

I frowned. Supposedly, they trusted me but every time I was told to leave my door open or not to rush things, I felt like I was being judged —that my loyalty was in question. I knew the proper way to handle this. I wasn’t going to mess it up.

I liked her, yes. I could fool my family, but I couldn’t fool myself. That didn’t mean I was going to throw everything away over a teenage crush.

“I will,” I replied a little harder than I would usually talk to my parents.
Trust me.
With a curt nod, Mum retreated to the living room. “Come on then, show me how much fun a movie night is.”

Smiling, she walked past me, heading up the stairs to my bedroom. I couldn’t help watching her. She was petite, but her slim legs and slight frame made her look taller. Her dusty brunette hair cascaded down her back in loose, messy waves.

“Okay,” she said, turning to me once we were in my room. “Which one do you want to watch first?
Batman Begins
or
Spider-Man
?”

I shrugged. “I haven’t seen either, so it’s your choice.”

“What? You’ve
never
seen the
Batman
or
Spider-Man
movies?”

“No.”

“Noah, where have you been living for the last sixteen years!”

I forced out a laugh and took
Batman Begins
from her outstretched hand. “This one first.”

“Well, I know you’ve at least had popcorn but please tell me you’ve also had Oreos before.”

Grinning, I replied, “I was raised on a pretty remote farm on a tiny island, but I am not
that
sheltered.” I was. Until she held the packet up I had no idea what an Oreo was.

“I don’t know, you’ve not watched much TV, never had movie nights, you don’t eat a whole lot of junk and you’ve never had a girlfriend before.”

“Funny how I meet you soon after I’ve corrected all of that.” My heart jumped as I realised what I’d said. I knew I needed the girlfriend/boyfriend title, but that wasn’t exactly how I envisioned it happening. She had to feel special. It had to be romantic. And not just because that’s what I needed in order for her to put every ounce trust in me.

Unfortunately, Scarlett didn’t miss it either. She watched me carefully, silently. “
Have
you done all of them now?”

“Is that what you want?”

She frowned. “No way, I asked you first!”

Laughing, I put the DVD down on the bed, followed by the bag she was still clutching and bent my head level with hers. “Well, I think it’s a pretty good idea.”

“We’ve not known each other long,” she replied. Her voice was low, almost a whisper.

“I know, but I like what I’ve seen so far. I’m not proposing, Scarlett, you’re not forced to be with me forever. Look, this is new to me, but I like you, and I’d like to see what happens.”

She broke into a heart-stopping smile that did nothing to help me control my feelings for her. “In that case, I’m in,” she replied.

We stared at each other like morons as the air thickened. I was supposed to kiss her. I’d never kissed a girl before. She had an ex-boyfriend, so the likelihood of her having kissed someone before was high. I didn’t want to look like an inexperienced fool.

Now was the time, though. I’d let things go on for far too long with very little physical contact. She wanted to take things further, had for a while now, but I couldn’t rush anything with her and risk it burning out.

Reaching out, I gently grabbed her hips and brought her closer. Her hands fell on my chest, and she splayed her fingers, running them over my shoulders. Yes, she had definitely done this before.

I leaned in and my heart went wild as I felt her breath across my lips. This was uncharted territory but being this close to her, having my hands on her and hers on me, felt so natural it scared me. The feelings I had for her were almost so overwhelming I wanted to run and hide from them. I understood love; I felt it for a multitude of people, but this was different. This was confusing, exciting, terrifying and so,
so
strong already.