Awaken (3 page)

“Weren't expecting that, were you?” she said between giggles.

“No. Not in the nonchalant way you put it.”

Penelope shrugged. “Well, that's me. Nonchalant.”

She took my hand and said in caring tone, “Listen, I know this came out of the blue, but I was thinking about you last night. You’re not seeing anybody, are you?”

I was surprised by the question. I slowly shook my head. “No.”

“That's what I thought,” said Penelope. Then she leaned in. “When my mom got cancer, I did a lot of research. I know the cancer treatment and drugs can really rob you of your libido. It's hard to get it back, especially when you don't have someone in your life. This club is called Nectar, and it's the best in the city. Nico and I go whenever we can. It's run by this really cool woman named Savannah. She keeps all the freaks out. Think of it as a bunch of sex positive people having fun in a relaxed environment. I thought it might be a nice way for you to rekindle the flame, so to speak. And since you don't have anyone who can help you in that department right now…”

I didn't know what to say.

Penelope must have sensed my hesitation. “Hey, it's cool if you don't want to come. It might not be your thing. I didn't think it was my thing either, until Nico introduced me to it. Now I go whenever there's a party. I love it. I just thought I'd ask.”

Suddenly, I felt nervous. A sex club? Lacey Winters doesn't go to sex clubs, does she?

“Well, I'm really wiped…”
 

“Say no more.” Penelope held up her hands. “Like I said, I just wanted to see if you were interested.”

“Yeah, I think I'll pass,” I said. “Thanks for thinking of me though.” I felt really stupid for saying that.

I wish I could be more like Penelope. She's so comfortable with who she is. Watching her walk around naked, during the photo-shoot, made me think about the last time I was naked in front of someone, other than a doctor. I think it was Ryan. He was the bartender at the Viceroy, who I foolishly slept with that one night, over three years ago. Has it really been that long? I miss feeling sexy, attractive, wanted.

I tried masturbating again. What a dismal failure – just like all the other times. I'm as dry as the Sahara. Penelope was right. Cancer didn't just take my breasts, it took my sex drive too. The drugs I take, to make sure it doesn't come back, have really impacted my libido. Every time I try masturbating, I can't seem to get aroused. I cried this time when it didn't work. What if I never feel anything down there again?

Why did I say no to Penelope's invitation to the sex club? If I'm being honest, I know why. I felt uncomfortable. The old me, the pre-cancer me, would never go to a sex club. That was for a different kind of person. The old me was too conservative for a place like that. But it's been three long years since I’ve felt anything sexual…

 
I remember the promise I made to myself. The new me vowed to take risks and try new things. I could have gone to the club with Penelope and just watched. I have to admit, watching people have sex in front of me sounds kind of exciting. Maybe it could help me feel a sensation between my legs again. It's been so long. Maybe Penelope was right: Going to a sex club might help me get my sex drive back. Damn it! I should have gone! What do I have to be afraid of?

I wasn't sure if she’d be home, so I waited till about noon before I knocked on Penelope's door. I had been up all night angry with myself for not going with her to Nectar. I was surprised when a gorgeous, well-built black man opened the door. His shirt was off, and I could see his sculpted torso and chest.

“Hey, how's it going?” he asked.

I felt slightly embarrassed for some reason. “Great. Thank you. I'm sorry to interrupt. Is Penelope around? I'm her neighbor, Lacey.”

He extended his hand. “Nice to finally meet you. I'm Nico,” he said with a grin. “Penelope’s really happy you’re her neighbor. I saw those shots you took of her. She looks hot.”

“Thank you,” I said.

“Nico, who is it?” I heard Penelope's voice ask. Penelope then stepped into view, completely naked. “Oh hey, Lacey, what's up?”

“Sorry to bother you, I just wanted to ask you something.”

Lacey wrapped her arms around Nico's waist and kissed his shoulder. “Sure thing.”

“Well, it was about your invitation to the club.”

“You missed a really fun time. Right, Nico?”
 

Nico turned and they shared a kiss.

I summoned up my courage and spoke. “Well, that's the thing. Next time you go, I'd like to come. I was thrown off guard when you asked me, and I guess I just chickened out.”

Penelope smiled. “No worries. We're planning on going next Friday. Isn't that right, Babe?”

Nico nodded.

“Well, then I'll join you two, if you don't mind?” I said. “But I'm not going to do anything. I just want to watch.”

Nico grinned. “Watching's cool. The more the merrier.” He turned to Penelope. “I guess we should give Savannah a heads up, since she'll probably want to interview her.”

“What do you mean by interview?” I asked, confused.

“Oh, it's no big deal,” said Penelope, reassuringly. “Savannah will want to make sure you're a good fit for the club. She meets with all prospective members. She'll ask you why you want to join and want to know a little about you. You don’t have anything to worry about. Plus you're hot, so that always helps. Right, Nico?”

Nico nodded again. “Definitely hot,” he said, as he looked me up and down with a sexy grin.

I wasn't sure what to say, so I thought it best to make an exit. “Well, that sounds good then. So next Friday it is. Sorry to bother you.”

“No bother,” said Nico. “Penelope and I were just about to take a shower. Have you showered yet?”

Penelope smacked Nico's arm. “Stop it. He's just joking.”

Nico laughed.

“Well, I'll let you two get to that shower, then,” I said.

When I came home, I closed the door behind me. I leaned against it and exhaled. Next Friday I’m going to my first sex club. What am I going to wear?

Where do I begin? First of all, Savannah looked like the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, not the owner of the hottest, most exclusive sex club in the city. She was striking, with long blonde hair and clear blue eyes. Dressed in a black pantsuit, she looked to be in her mid-forties. I felt uncomfortable as she asked me several questions about my sex life.

“So, you're not an exhibitionist?” she asked, studying me from behind her mahogany desk.

“No.”

“You've never had a threesome?”

I shook my head. “Nope.”

“And you've never been to a strip club or sex party before?”

I shook my head again.

She leaned across her desk and folded her hands together. She looked at me and slowly smiled. “I have to be honest with you, Miss Winters, I'm surprised you want to pay our membership fee considering your profile.”

I shrugged. “Penelope said Nectar was a really great club. She's my neighbor.”

“Penelope's very sweet,” said Savannha. “Full of life.”

I nodded.

Savannah then leaned back in her chair and shot me a skeptical look. “I feel like you're not telling me the whole story, Miss Winters.”

I looked at the floor avoiding her gaze. I took a deep breath then finally looked at her. “I’m a cancer survivor, and I haven't felt anything remotely sexual for the last three years. I also don't have anyone in my life right now. So, I thought being a member of your club might help me…I don’t know…find my sex drive, I guess. Penelope told me you run a very safe and friendly club.”

Savannah nodded. “I do. But that's mostly due to our members. That's why I like to meet everyone in person. I want to make sure you're a good fit before I agree to let you join.”

I looked at her slightly nervous. I was surprised by how much I wanted her approval.
 

Savannah looked at me and smirked. “Miss Winters, I think you're very attractive. A little shy but that might change as you continue your journey of self-discovery. The first thing you should know about Nectar is that we require all our members practice safe sex.”

“Oh, I don't want to have sex, I just want to watch,” I said.

“I see,” said Savannah. “Well, that might change with time. How about this, why don't I show you around the club? If you like what you see and still want to join, then you can pay the membership fee. You'll get your membership card in the mail within a week. The next time you come, just present it at the door. Sound good?”

I nodded. “Yes.”

Savannah then stood up and circled her desk. “Follow me, and let me show you the world of Nectar.”

“Thank you,” I said, getting up.

We left her office and headed toward the elevator. When we stepped in, she pressed the button to the first floor and turned to me as the elevator began its descent. “Nectar has been a fixture in Manhattan for over fifteen years. I started it to provide a safe and relaxed atmosphere where members can explore their sexuality. But there are certain rules,” said Savannah. “For example, men aren't allowed to approach women; women must initiate all interaction. No cellphones, cameras, or recording devices are allowed on the premises. No drugs are allowed. We do serve alcohol in the bar area, which is where we are headed now. We urge our members to dress-to-impress. Sexy outfits are encouraged, like what you're wearing now.”

I looked at my outfit, a short crimson leather skirt and fitted black top. “You think this is sexy enough?” I asked.

“It's fine,” said Savannah with a smile. “But if you want to get some attention,” she said with a mischievous look, “you might want to show a little more cleavage.”

“But I'm just here to watch,” I reminded her.

“Of course you are, Miss Winters,” said Savannah with a playful smile.

The elevator stopped and the door opened. We stepped into a cocktail reception room, with a bar at the far end. I scanned the room. It was filled with gorgeous looking people, dressed primarily in black – black suits, black leather, black dresses. Soothing music played through the speakers. A few people at the bar were wearing Venetian masks. I should have brought a mask, I thought to myself.

As Savannah led me through the room, I noticed several people eyeing me.

“Guests usually interact in the cocktail room until around midnight,” said Savannah. “Then things start to get kinky.”

I looked for Penelope and Nico but couldn't see them anywhere. I assumed they were already enjoying themselves.

I followed Savannah out of the lounge, and we took a flight of stairs to the second floor. We walked down a hallway and entered a large room. My jaw dropped. I saw several people writhing on top of a massive black bed. Moans of pleasure filled the room. Immediately, I looked away and glanced toward the ceiling, but that did me no good. The ceiling was mirrored and reflected the orgy taking place on the bed.

“I believe that's your friend Penelope, isn't it?” asked Savannah.

I squinted my eyes and saw Penelope at the far end of the bed. She was naked, riding a man who wasn't Nico. Her eyes were closed. And as she rode the stranger's cock, her face radiated pure bliss. Then I saw Nico, a few feet from her, passionately kissing one woman, as his cock was buried inside another.