Awakening (35 page)

“I have no idea, because you don’t talk to me! You only see me on the weekends, and you don’t even take my calls during the week. If any of that bullshit was true, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now.” I’m shaking with fury. How dare he try that crap with me! I am not 12 fucking years old.

“Fuck!” he yells at the wall. “Fuck fuck fuck!”

“There we go. Now, why don’t you tell me what the hell is going on? No bullshit this time!” I scream back at him.

“God damn it, Nora, what the hell do you want from me?” he growls while pacing.

“What do I want from you? I think I’ve made that pretty damn clear,” I scream.

“No. You didn’t.” He stops and stares at me.

“Okay fine. I’ll tell you what I don’t want. I don’t want to be your weekend bone. I don’t want to be shoved into some corner of your life, like a doll. You’re either here or you’re not.”

We stare at each other for a beat.

“What about the rest of it?” He asks, almost defiantly.

“What rest of it?” I pause and then I get it. “Jesus. Ryan, you mean the fucking in public. Is that what this is about? You think I’m freaking over that?”

He nods his head.

“Ahhhhhh!” I yell at the top of my lungs. “Ryan. I liked The Phoenix. I liked camping, In fact, so far, there hasn’t been one thing we have done—aside from last night—that I didn’t like. You’re projecting some scared little girl on me, and I’m not that. That was my issue with Darren. He was the fucking scared little girl, and he lost it when I wanted more out of the box. Out of the box doesn’t scare me. You being a prick scares me.”

Ryan’s eyes go wide at my last comment. “Me being a prick?”

I stifle a laugh. “Yes. You being a prick. Like getting pissy when I call you once in three days. Like right now, all uppity.”

“Uppity?” He says again, this time with more humor.

“Look. Let’s cut to the chase. Are you in or out?” I stare at him, my eyes are hard. He could walk out right now. He could leave and this could be over. I never thought that far ahead, I never thought it would come to this. I brace myself.

He watches me for minute, then walks closer to me, this time gently touching my shoulders. “I’m in, Young. I’m in.” His mouth hovers just over my face, then he tenderly brushes his lips against mine. It’s so unexpected.

I kiss him back, tentatively at first, then harder. He responds with a deep, passionate kiss. My knees buckle. His fingers move under my shirt, running along the waistline of my sweats, while his other hand cups the back of my head, pressing my mouth deeper into his.

“You have no idea, do you,” he murmurs into my mouth.

“No idea about what?” I ask, slightly alarmed.

“That’s what is so amazing about you,” he says, kissing me along my neck and shoulder, sending shivers down my spine.

“I’m amazing, am I?”

“You have no idea,” he says again, his hand reaching my breast, gently caressing me.

I’m wide awake now, awake and wet with desire. All that anger and fear that he was about to walk out the door seems to have transformed into lust. I’m completely seduced by his hesitation and his gentleness.

He lifts my shirt over my head and stares, wide eyed, letting out a long breath.

“You just have no idea how fucking beautiful you are,” he says, in awe.

I start to tense under his intense gaze and close the space between us.

“So far you’ve told me that I really don’t have any idea about a lot of things. Should I be worried that I’m missing something?” I say, embarrassed at the compliments.

He encircles me with his arms and presses his pelvis into mine. I feel his large bulge in his pants. Kissing me deeply, he lifts me up and carries me back to my bed. I wrap my legs around his waist. His mouth is mashed into my throat, but that doesn’t stop him from kissing me and licking the hollow of my neck.

His touch leaves a fire trail leading to the deepest part of me. I’ve got a burning desire to have him naked. As he puts me down on the bed I claw at his shirt, I need it off. He steps back and lifts his shirt over his head while toe-pushing his shoes off. He undoes his jeans and lets them fall to the ground. He’s standing over me in his underwear, his large cock straining against the cotton.

I’m so turned on right now. I want to jump him, to have him touch me everywhere. I’m impatient, but he waits, just admiring me. Slowly, he slides his briefs off, letting his cock jump from his body. Oh, my God.

He kneels down and starts kissing my legs, slowly working his way up my body. He kisses the backside of my knees, then my inner thighs. His hands explore my belly and hips, his fingers circling the space in-between. Just when I think he’s going to get serious, he veers to the left and comes up my side with more tiny kisses.

My head is foggy and my body is on fire. Where ever he touches or licks or kisses, my body sears with pleasure. His mouth comes up from my side to my breast. He kisses my breast and then slowly brings it into his mouth. I can’t stand it and let a moan escape while closing my eyes, letting the sensations wash over me. I feel so cherished in this moment.

Still higher his mouth comes, up my chest, up my neck, over to my ear. Meanwhile, his hand is slowly caressing my other side. His uneven climb is a heady mixture of sensations.
 

“You taste so good. You feel so good,” he says, next to my ear.

“Mmmmmm,” is the only thing that comes out of my mouth.

I feel his fingernails gently slide over my ribs and feel his breath on my neck. I am surrounded by him, enclosed and protected.

His mouth heads over to the other side and he works his way back down my body. He pauses at my breast, spending extra time worshipping me. The sensation pulls deep in my belly, spilling the warm liquid that feels so much like honey.

He plants open mouth wet kisses down my stomach, finally pausing right at my center. His hot breath is on my sex, his fingers are opening me, sliding into me, all while he’s breathing and kissing me. Each kiss sends a wave of pleasure thrashing through my body. I am lost.

His fingers slip out and his mouth covers me, “Ahhhh,” I convulse up off the bed.

“Shhh,” he soothes. I’m so close to completely losing it. His tongue pushes inside of me and that pushes me into the abyss. The orgasm wracks my body, my thighs squeeze his head while his tongue, forever steady, continues its assault. After what seems like forever, he stops and sits up, once again gazing down at me admiringly.

“Jesus, Nora. You are the most amazing woman. You taste so good.” Again, he sounds as if he’s in awe.

He pulls a condom out from under the pillow and slips it on, his eyes focused on the task. I watch from my vantage point. Nothing, not one creature, has ever been as sexy as he is right now.

He’s standing over me, gloriously naked. A sheen of moisture covers his skin, making it glossy and so damn sexy. His huge cock is ready, sheathed; I quiver underneath him.

He pauses, adding to my anticipation.

“How did I ever get so lucky?” he growls at me, his voice deep and husky.

“I could say the same thing about you,” I tease him.

His mood is so different than the other times. Before he has been playful, erotic, even indifferent, but this, I can’t put my finger on it.

Slowly, he moves to hover over me. Everything he does, he does slowly, with precise care. Just when I think I can’t take much more, he enters me. My legs spread, inviting him deeper. Still, he’s agonizingly slow. In and out, long plunges down, and longer still pulling out. I feel the tip of him teasing the folds of my entrance.

His eyes are boring into mine, blazing. He corkscrews one way, then another. I feel the familiar warm honey filling my insides, building up, threatening to drown me.

“Nora. You mean everything to me,” he says, then shuts his eyes tight, picking up his pace. His words and the sudden change in pace throw my equilibrium off. Fire swarms around me, churning the blood that is pounding in my ears. I lift my pelvis just slightly and am swallowed by a sudden and violent orgasm.

As I am writhing underneath him, he stills before unleashing with a new resolve, pounding into me, taking me, possessing me, “Oh God. It’s you.” He screams and empties himself into me.

I squeeze him tightly, over and over again, milking him, keeping his orgasm going for as long as I can. Finally, he collapses, dropping his full weight on me. After a while, he pulls out and walks to the bathroom.

Waiting a minute to steady my breath, I follow him. He’s drinking water and hands me a cup. I look in the mirror and, to my horror, I notice that my hair is back to its frightening state again.

He grins, a spicy, ‘I know your secrets’ grin. I feel a big stupid smile split across my face. Couldn’t stop it if I wanted to! He takes my hand and leads me out of the bathroom and back to the bed.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Ryan crawls out from deep in the closet, dragging a large duffel bag with him. I watch from the corner of my bedroom, wondering what on earth he’s doing. The afternoon sun is throwing long shadows across the bed. It’s been a perfect lazy Saturday.

He stands up and heads to my dresser, opening drawers and pulling out socks and underwear and tossing them into the bag.

“Pray tell, what are we doing?” Not sure whether to be alarmed or laugh.

“Packing,” he says matter-of-factly. “You can’t stay here. At least, not until we get the locks changed. Even then, it’s dicey.”

He goes back to my drawers.

“Okay. But I certainly don’t need long johns, and you just put those in that bag. Can I help?” I’m working hard to not outright laugh at him. And then I remember he has no idea that I’m moving. “You know, I’m moving in a few weeks anyway.”

He stops and stares at me, mouth open. “Moving?”

“Well.” I pause. Come to think of it, he has no idea about any of last week’s decisions; moving, LSAT prep classes, law school, possibly quitting my job. This could be fun. “Yeah. This place is big and expensive, and I don’t want to spend the extra money any more. I found some possibilities last week.”

His eyes go wide and a smile plays around his lips. “Did you, now?”

“Yeah. On Thursday,” I say, knowing that was the day he stopped by.

“Oh. That’s where you were? Damn, I could have come with you.” He seems genuine.

“Do you really want to go there?” I ask, standing akimbo, head cocked, eyebrow raised.

“No, ma’am!” he says, hands in the air.

He slowly goes back to his packing and nods his head.

I push my way into my own closet and start pulling out work clothes.

“How long am I packing for?”

“At least three or four nights,” he says, urgently.

“Okay, then.” I pull out my real suitcase and start moving around the room, gathering my belongings.

Ryan moves out of my way and starts to organize the reading material on the table next to my bed. I’m going through the bag he ‘packed’ for me, making a note never to let this man pack for me for real. He has packed my entire underwear drawer, from long underwear and wool socks to my skimpy two-piece bikini, only to be worn on a tropical island.

“Holy shit. What’s this?” Ryan’s astonished voice breaks my concentration.

“What’s what?” I ask, wondering what he has found.

Looking up, I see he is holding my LSAT prep workbook.

“This is what? Is this old or new?”

“Oh. Well, that’s another thing. I’ve decided that I do want to go to law school, so I started a prep class on Tuesday and Thursday nights.”

“No way! Are you kidding me?” He stares at me.

“Nope. Not kidding.” I smile back at him, completely smitten by his reaction.

“Wow. That is huge. A move, law school, prep class. You know, I can help you prepare.” He’s flipping through the book. “Man, I remember this stuff.”

“Thanks. I’ll take you up on that.” I move to the bathroom, having finished repairing his packing job.

Ryan follows me. “Have you thought about what schools to apply to?”

“Not really. But if I do well the first time I sit for the LSAT, I can apply next January for the early rounds. I’ll have a much better chance of getting in wherever I apply.” I scoop up my scattered makeup.

“This is awesome. I think you’d make a great lawyer.”

I freeze.

“Really?” I ask, shocked. That is the first time he’s shared his opinion.

“Yeah, really. You’re tenacious, smart, and quick.” He looks right at me when he says this. My heart skips.

“Thanks,” I say, and can’t stop the smile spreading across my face.

I go back to cleaning up and organizing, and Ryan wanders out of the bedroom. When the last of it is buttoned up in the suitcase and the bed is made, I wheel my stuff to the front of the apartment. I find Ryan in the kitchen, cleaning out the refrigerator.

“Now what are you doing?” I ask him, embarrassed at what he might find in there.

“Well, Young, the fridge was starting to stink, and if we’re not going be here anyway, thought I’d help you out and toss everything before we leave.”