Away From the Spotlight (16 page)

He had given me a lot of information to digest.  Since he talked about the
Midnight
films, I thought that I would tell him what I had done before he saw me last night. 
“I have to admit something now,” I said as I bit my lip.  “I watched the first
Midnight
film
last night with
Kelly
.”

“
Really
?
”  He seemed genuinely surprised.  “
I thought you were
angry with
me
.  W
hy would you watch it?”

I couldn’t look at him as I said,
“I wanted to see what the fuss was all about, I guess
,
and to see how you interacted with Katherine.  It really upset me that you looked at her the way you sometimes look at me.  It convinced me that you were faking it with me
.
”

“No, I was faking it with
her
.”

I felt uncomfortable as I added,
“I also thought it was ironic that it was about a perfect man falling in love with an ordinary girl.
  Katherine is not so ordinary, but
I am
.”

“Would you
stop
it with that?  I’m not the only one by a long
shot who thinks you’re gorgeous.  Stephen and Colin agree, and I remember that
the
O’Neills
were pretty impressed as well.  And we won’t get into your friends at work.”

He was definitely overstating things. 
“Now,
you
stop it.  They
’
re just friends.  They think of me as their little sister.”

“I
f
it makes you feel more comfortable to think that.”

“So are you saying that from personal experience
,
like maybe when it comes to Katherine?”

“That’s different.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Trust me on this.  It
is
,” he said seriously.

Will and I strolled slowly hand-in-hand through campus after lunch to my car.  I really didn’t want to go to work and was trying
to draw out our time together.

When we arrived at my car, Will asked, “
What are you doing after work?”

Considering we had just declared our love for each other the night before and Will didn’t appear to be going out-of-town again, I figured that we would be together.  Thinking that, I smiled, responding, “I don’t know.  What am I doing after work?”

“Good answer.”  Will laughed and his
green
eyes sparkled as he did so.  “Would you plan on staying with me at least for the next few nights?”

I
was hoping that
“at least”
meant more than
just
the next few nights
.

“What did you have in mind?”

“On
week
nights, nothing much, other than being with you when you’ve finished studying.  On the weekends, I promise that we can have real dates.”

“You promise to let me study?”

Of course, I knew that I was as likely to allow myself to get distracted from that with him as he was of distracting me.

“Yes.  I know how important this is to you.  I won’t interfere.” 
He was convincing
.

“Then count me in.” 
I was so excited and happy that I couldn’t help myself.  I
kissed
him as passionately as I could
.
  I didn’t care who would see us.

He kissed my neck and whispered in my ear,
“I love you, yo
u know.”

If it was possible, I
kissed
him
even harder
. 
When
we finally disengaged, I
said, “I love you too.  See you later.” 
I
kissed
him again
quickly and
left for work, still breathing heavily and trying to calm myself down so that I could focus when I got there.

It was difficult to concentrate at work as I kept daydreaming about Will and recalling h
im telling me that he loved me.

John came in to check on me and noticed that my mood had changed considerably.

“You’re back together with Will,” he said matter-of-factly after sitting down in one of the client chairs
facing me
and reading what was likely a dreamy expression on my face.  He looked disappointed.

“Yes,” I replied and smiled.

“He doesn’t have another girlfriend?”

“No.”

“You forgave him for lying to you?”

“Yes.”  I realized
that
I wasn’t volunteering much, and added, “He wanted to be normal for a while and for me to get to know the real him.  I can’t really blame him for that.  Besides, I love him and he loves me.”

John’s face registered his
shock as if he couldn’t contemplate that Will and I were that serious. 
He tried to compose himself,
but
continued to
look unhappy.

There was silence for a few minutes and I
finally
said, “Thanks, John, for cheering me up the other day.  I really appreciate it.  You
’
re a really good friend.”

He
got up and
walked around my
desk to hug me.  “I’ll always be there for you when you need me
,
”
he said quietly.

I let go
, feeling a little awkward
. 
John
looked down and walked out the door of my office,
closing
it behind him.

When I got home from work, I left a note for
Kelly
telling her
that
Will and I were back together and that
I would be away for a few days
.  I then
packed quickly, anxious to
get across town and
be with Will again.

Later t
hat night, when we were
spooning in bed
, I asked a question I had forgotten to ask at lunch.

“Do you remember when you told me that you liked L.A., but something was missing?”

“Yes.”

“You promised you would tell me what that was sometime.”

“I remember.”

“What was it?”

“What was missing in my life before you was a girlfriend.  When I said that
to you, and I didn’t mean to,
I knew I wanted you to be my girlfriend
. 
I didn’t w
ant to say it on our first date
, b
ut I knew it then.  I actually knew it when we met.
”

“Seriously?”

“Yes.  It was practically love at first sight for me.”

“I just thought you were being friendly.  When you asked me out, you shocked the hell out of me.”

“I noticed, although I couldn’t imagine you didn’t notice how interested I was.”

“I don’t know
. 
I guess I just don’t think that way.  I assume a lack of interest unless someone beats me over the head with it.  It’s not like you did anything to indicate you were interested.”

“I invited you to come to the back bar to be with me.  Then, we were sitting inches from each other, I was staring into your eyes, and I had a death grip on either my beer or my arm to keep from reaching over and grabbing you.  Did that not make it clear?”

“Again, I thought you were just being friendly
, a
Brit on holiday looking for a little conversation for the evening.  As far as the fact that we were inches apart, we had to sit
that
close in order to hear each other.  As for staring at me, it just seemed that you were looking at me when I spoke.  That’s generally considered to be polite. 
I didn’t notice anything odd about you holding your beer.  It was a pub after all.”

“And I thought I was so obvious.  Stephen and Colin knew I had fallen for you as well.  I’m going to have to remember to not assume you know how I’m feeling.  So I’ll tell you right now.  I love you.
”

I gave a heartfelt smile and asked,
“So how long did it take you to figure out how I felt?
”

“I don’t think I really knew until I saw your face last night when I came to straighten things out.  I
’ve
never seen such a look of utter devastation.  You looked like your heart had been broken.  It killed me to think I had caused it.”

“That was the first time?”

“Well, in the beginning, you seemed so nervous.”

“I
was
nervous because I cared whether you liked me or not.  If I didn’t
care, why would I be nervous?”

“Good point.  It’s just that you didn’t act like I was u
sed to women acting around me.”

“It’s a good thing I didn’t.  If I had, you would have gone running in the other direction, thinking I was some
star-
struck fan.  You don’t like it when people fawn all over you.  The fact that I didn’t is probably why you
asked
me
out
in the first place.”

“I’m not saying that I didn’t like that fact, but that wasn’t it.  Something just clicked into place when I met you.  If you had shown your interest a little more openly and been more enthusiastic, you would not have scared me off
;
q
uite the contrary
,
I don’t think I would
’
ve bee
n able to go home without you.”

“Well, that was the o
ther reason why I was nervous.”

“That I definitely understood.  Why do you think I didn’t try anything?  Why do you think you were t
he one to seduce me initially?”

“I thoug
ht you were being a gentleman.”

“Hardly.  I was afraid I’d scare you away.  I knew you weren’t the
kind of girl
who
would fall into bed with someone so easily
.  I can’t say I didn’t hope you would give me a sign that you were willing, but when you didn’t, I figured it would take a little time.  Then you did what you did and
I could not have been happier.”

“Although it would have been completely out of character for me, if you had pressed the issue earlier, I would
not have been able to resist.”

“So you’re telling me I could have put
one or more
of those sleepless nights
before we were together
to better use?”

“Yes.”

“
Now
you tell me.”

I laughed. 
“Okay, now
I remember
something else I want to ask.  You honestly thought I was at the
Royalist
with
Rachael
last week trying to pick up guys after
we had spent the weekend together and were planning to see each other again the next night?”

“I didn’t think you were looking for it, no.  But there was the thought in the back of my mind that
,
since
you were there surrounded by men, you might find someone better than me.”

“That’s not possible.  I love you.”

He
ki
ssed me and
then
he expressed his love for me
in other ways
.

That Friday
, I was in the process of e-mailing my research memo to one of the senior partners when I heard voices in the hallway a few doors down and thought I recognized one of them as Will
’s
.

I finished my e-mail
and
f
ound
Will standing in the doorway of
Max
’s office.  They both looked a little tense when I walked in, but their expressions turned to smiles when they saw me.  I grabbed Will’s hand, told
Max
that we were going to dinner, and dragged Will gently down the hall toward my office.  As we passed by John’s office, John said “hi” to me
and appeared to glare at Will.

When we got to my office, Will closed the door behind him, grabbed me and kissed me.

I leaned away and asked,
“What was
that
all about?”

“I gather your friends don’t like me much after what happened thi
s week.”