B0038M1ADS EBOK (19 page)

If you marked "yes" to any of questions 1 through 3, particularly if you
also checked "yes" to any of questions 4 through 12, then this suggests that
you should get a more-thorough screening. Having an alcohol problem
is a medical issue, not something that you can control through willpower, and it's important to get assessed if you have these indications. If you have
problems cutting down on your alcohol use or experience jitteriness, the
shakes, or an inability to sleep when you stop drinking, then you need
medical help. You can find out more through Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)
(go to www.aa.org to find a meeting near you, including information for
online meetings), or looking up information at the National Institute on
Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) Web site (www.niaaa.nih.gov).
You can also speak with your primary care doctor.

Even if you don't have an alcohol problem, but like to drink from time
to time, make sure that you drink responsibly. This means not drinking
excessively alone or with others, not driving after drinking any amount, and
not allowing others to drive after drinking. If you're having any ongoing
sleep problems, consider that alcohol is contributing to this. Stop drinking
to see if the problem improves, but don't expect improvement quickly. If
you've been using alcohol (or drugs) regularly for any amount of time, it
can take weeks or months for the normal sleep cycle to restore itself.

SUMMARY

To summarize, the first letter, "L," of the LANDNAV acronym refers to life
survival skills-learning how the body responds to stress, and how your
reactions have been influenced by combat. There are five skills recommended, including keeping a journal of your reactions, accepting your
reactions without making them worse by judging or becoming angry at
yourself, exercising regularly, improving your sleep, and learning the
effects that alcohol (or drugs) may be having on your reactions.

First Sergeant Schindler provides some further advice based on his
experience:

Combat skills don't adapt well to the "real" world, and are the hardest skills
to keep control of when home from the battlefield. Without help I would
never have understood the reasons why I did not like crowds or standing
in lines, why I ducked when I heard loud noises, got angry because my beer was served warm, felt a sense of dread on a dark rainy summer night ("I
can feel the pricks sneaking up on my ass from a click away'), or freaked
out when I heard mosquitoes buzzing around me.

These feelings, images, and noises triggered my combat skills automatically and caused great anxiety, which in turn made me want to hide from
the world. Hyperawareness, rage, hate, fear, and hiding your emotions are
the combat skills we warriors need every second of every day to survive.

In 1972, after returning from Vietnam, I moved to Maui, a small,
quiet, beautiful laid-back island about 3, 000 miles away in any direction
from the rest of the world, where I tried (unsuccessfully) to not feel, see, or
hear anything that would remind me of war ever again. However, no matter how fart went or what I did, my inner demon white tiger seemed always
ready and willing to rip somebody's heart out. Time passed, and it wasn't
until 2002 when I really began my "transition" back.

Sometime in 1974 or '75, after a couple of years of coming and going
between Maui and Michigan, I moved back to my hometown ofAnn Arbor,
Michigan, and attempted to live a "normal" life. I rejoined the active U. S.
Army Reserves in 1976, and in 1977 managed for the second time in my
fledgling Army career to become a "buck" Sergeant E-5.

A pattern of repeating ranks went on for the next twenty plus years,
during which time I held several ranks more than once. My lack of respect
for military authority, regulations, and other "minor" military requirements stemmed directly from my combat experiences in Vietnam. "If one
more rear echelon motherfucker (REMF) tells me how to act, I swear I'm
gonna shove my fist up his left nostril and pull his REMF brains out. "
This attitude caused great consternation for my immediate bosses, ranking
NCOs, and officers, who knew I could have been an outstanding soldier if
I wasn't so damn stubborn or stupid-usually both.

I eventually met a single mom with a son, and began to love them
both very much. This connection felt good. I had an instant family, which
seemed to fill a void. We married in 1978. I adopted our son and welcomed
a baby daughter into our wonderful life. My job as a construction inspector
was okay, almost tolerable. I had a truly outstanding family, and life was
good-or so it seemed.

From 1978 to 1988, the Army Reserves allowed me to have a buffer
zone between my warrior spirit and my family. But my civilian work slowly
became intolerable, and I hated my supervisor and job. I became depressed.
I felt like something wasn't right inside me, and family life went down the
tubes. By 1988, I was just surviving.

My wife and I separated during the summer of 1988. In February
of 1989, I was fired from my construction-engineering job. I tried to work
again as a construction materials tester. Didn't take, lost that job also.
In October of 1989 my first divorce was finalized, and then I experienced
years of mental crash-and-burn (a second marriage in 1998 also ended in
divorce in 2004). The healing for me began in 2002 when I started my
commitment to therapy and began to understand my combat reflexes and
reactions to situations in the civilian world.

I just didn't give a damn anymore,- "Fuck it-don't mean nothing,
not a damn thing. " I shut my emotions and most feelings down for years
in order to survive another day. I felt always on guard, on the outside
looking in on life. By 2002, I hadn't found much to stop my intrusive combat thoughts and was displaying a more-combative attitude (short temper)
towards family, friends, and people in general. After many years I did not
yet understand my feelings and hid them from all.

The single best piece of advice that I can give to any warrior who feels
alone, angry, detached, afraid of crowds, suffers from lack of sleep, dislikes
loud noises, or is just not feeling right, is to talk, talk, talk about how you
feel with someone you feel safe with. Understanding why you react to situations will set you free and allow you to begin healing. Start by committing,
forgiving yourself, and loving yourself-then later on you can work on
finding some of those same feelings for the rest of the human race. When I
learned that my reflex actions are directly the result of combat experiences
and training, I began to see myself as a "normal" person.

The main "tool" that I use for a negative or unpleasant situation is
to repeat to myself the words `frequency, intensity, and duration. " I try to
keep these three actions "low, mild, and short. " This "tool" is now a reflex,
and helps me to control my reactions in most situations. Combat skills can
become a life-changing positive force that you can trust and depend on; I found that I could deal with situations much better and be a lot happier
when I reminded myself to keep the `frequency, intensity, and duration" of
my reactions "low, mild, and short. "

What we are trying to do is not always have to "hit the dirt" and get
low because we hear firecrackers that sound like a machine gun on the
Fourth ofJuly. Another of my classic at-home combat moves was to swiftly
throw my best friend on his backside and begin to drive his nose through
his skull with my fist if he tried to shake me awake.

Needless to say, these over-the-top reactions involving my reflexes taking over-not to mention looking pretty strange and having a lot of friends
saying, "What the fuck?"-eventually subsided with my knowledge of their
root causes.

My family and friends are no longer afraid to wake me up, and I
set off the family fireworks on the Fourth of July-big fun. I am "supervised" by my adult son and daughter for my own safety at all family events
involving pyrotechnics. They see humor in the likelihood that I will kaboom myself in some sick kind of entertaining way, which is okay. I have
a well-developed sense of humor. Laughter is good medicine. I say all this
because being able to find a positive in any situation, good or bad, is a
vital part of the design to your survival "blueprint. "

What I remember about combat is the feeling of hyperawareness,
the ability to see and feel everything around you. I felt a kind
of high, or being super-alive. My physical reactions included feeling no pain, body rushes, and a feeling of white lava running
through my veins. The only two things that I gave a shit about in
combat were my platoon and squad members' safety and to kill
the enemy-nothing else. I did not care about myself, pain, the
weather, other units, God, or country. I mean the President, my
senator, my congressman, and my general were not with me in the
mud and blood of combat-so fuck them all. The only thing that I
could count on was my combat skills and my battle buddies.

I didn't know that my combat skills stayed on automaticfor thirtyplus years after coming home. I was combat-ready and battle-alert at
all times. For years my feelings fluctuated between anger, rage, bloodlust, laughing, and somewhat happy. A combat-ready lifestyle led to
many not-so-pleasant situations for me personally.

FIRST SERGEANT MIKE SCHINDLER

This chapter will provide exercises to assist you in learning to modulate
your reactions. Your warrior knowledge and skills are just as useful to you
at home as they are during combat, but like all skills, they need to be practiced and fine-tuned depending on the circumstances. This means becoming aware of physiological sensations in your body that relate to stress or
your perception of threat or danger, how angry you feel, and other feelings existing under the surface.