B008GMVYA4 EBOK (9 page)

“Room 2B, down the hall to your left and it’s the fifth door
along” Tracey said standing up from her chair and pointing towards the corridor
to Madison’s left.

“Thanks” Madison smiled weakly. Her eyes throbbed and her
chest was tighter than before, she had to force the words out as grief and
emotion began to rise within her.

“Enjoy your stay” Tracey said happily.

Madison nodded picking up her handbag from the desk,
grabbing the handle of her suitcase and walking towards the corridor to the
left. Five mahogany doors lined each side of the corridor, brass numbers sat
central on each door labeling the rooms. Madison scanned the numbers of the
door as she pasted them, lugging the heavy suitcase behind her. She stopped
when she reached the last door on the left,
2B
the brass door number
read. Madison fiddled with the plastic key card for a second. A momentarily
wave of doubt washed over her, she couldn’t help but wonder for a second
whether she had done the right thing. Regret questioned whether leaving Phil
had been the right decision? After all, Phil had over stepped the line tonight
by striking Madison, there was nothing to suggest that he may over step the
line again at some point - possibly start a fight with someone in a bar and end
up in hospital or worse. These were all things Phil had done in the past, he
always found his way home eventually whether it was a day or a week later, but
over the years he had become more lazy and rarely left the house for anything
less than a bottle of Whiskey.

Guilt was something Madison felt often, but she wondered
whether she should really feel guilty for someone that only noticed she was
there when he wanted money for alcohol. She pushed the thoughts to the back of
her head and inserted the key card into the lock. It buzzed and the small light
on the door lock lit up green to symbolize the door had unlocked. Madison took
the card out of the lock and pushed down on the handle of the door forcing it
open. She dragged her suitcase into the pitch black room and let the heavy door
close behind her. She fumbled around on the wall for a light switch, her
fingers met the cold hard plastic and she flicked it on. The room was dim at
first but the light soon became brighter, as the energy saving light bulbs
warmed up. The room was cream with a chocolate brown carpet - newly decorated
like the lobby. A double bed sat against the wall in the middle of the room,
the bed sheets were white, fresh looking and clean. A dressing table stood to
the right of the door, a kettle, two cups and arrangement of different teas and
coffee placed neatly on top. A small flat screen TV sat next to the kettle and
arrangements of beverages. On the far wall to the right were a small dresser
and a door which lead through to the bathroom. Madison checked the room door
was shut properly and turned the lock. Slowly she turned back to the empty
room. Her body swayed for a second before she became consumed by her own
thoughts. It was only for a brief moment but it was long enough for every tiny
aspect of today to be repeated in her mind. The distance she had travelled to
get away from Phil and the length she had gone to ensure no one knew where she
was had been necessary. It would only be a matter of time before she would tell
Stephanie where she was.  

Madison forced herself out of her mind and back into the
world of the living. Her body was limp, her arms and legs shook like jelly and
it was only a matter of time before the pain that gripped her broke free.
Inside she had been destroyed and there was nothing but an empty pit inside her
now. The darkness had always been there since her Mother’s passing, but now she
had lost her Father completely there wasn’t worth anything to hold onto.

Madison stumbled to the bathroom door and slipped inside.
The bathroom was small and cramped – it was furnished white. The toilet stood
at the end of the room, a basin to the left and bath/shower along from the
basin. She headed to the mirror above the small white basin. She stared at
herself in the mirror, she hardly recognise her own reflection. She had become
a stranger to herself – she didn’t know who she was anymore. Madison had become
completely lost in herself, moving to London would give her the opportunity to
become someone new – find herself again.

She examined the damage on her cheek carefully, touching it
gently with her finger tips. It was bright red and looked angry underneath the
many thick layers of foundation. Seeing the damage visually made the bruising
throb harder, before had been just a dull ache, now it pounded on Madison’s
cheek causing her eyes to water.

The shower was appealing to her, the hot water running over
her body would wash away some of the pain. She wobbled to the side of the bath
and turned on the water, gently pulling the shower curtain across.
Lethargically, Madison pulled off her black jumper and white shirt, she sighed
as the cool air tingled her naked skin. Reaching around she unclipped the hook
of her bra, letting her small perk breasts relax against her chest. Madison
kicked off her shoes unzipped her jeans and pulled them down along with her
black pants, stepping out of them onto the cold titled floor. She popped one
leg over the side of the bath, followed by the other until she was completely
submerged under the hot water. Her whole body quaked as a shiver trembled down
her spine. She stood in bath motionless, letting the hot water run down over
her face onto her body. The hot water streaked through her thick foundation,
allowing the true colour of the bruising to break through. She ran her finger
through her long tangled hair, washing away any dirt that might be lodge within
the matted hair. The hot water lifted the gate of emotions Madison had tightly
sealed up until now. Every emotion she had locked inside came tumbling out. The
anger, betrayal, pain, hopelessness and abandonment gushed out causing her legs
to buckle beneath her. She fell to her knees on the floor of the bath tub with
a loud thud. The hot water surrounded Madison in a cloud of steam; it bounced
off her frail body into the bath. The tears flowed instantly, the barriers came
down and she had no strength left inside her.  Dry sobs erupted from her
throat, she croaked as she whaled releasing some of the pain she had kept
locked up until now. The sound of the water pouring from the electric shower,
echoed throughout the bathroom. Her heart was broken. She struggled to breathe
through the crippling pain in her chest. Madison took in large gulps of air
trying to catch her breath, the thickness of the stream only made her cough and
struggle further.  Her body was damaged, her mind empty and her heart
broken. She could deal with the pain; pain was something she had struggled with
her entire life. Losing her Mother was a pain that would never truly go away.
It was something that would stay with Madison for the rest of her life – an
emptiness that would be always be there which could never be filled by anyone
else than her Mother. A part of Madison was terrified by this darkness,
emptiness inside her – if she allowed it, it would consume her entirely. There
was also another part of Madison which imagined she would end up like Phil, a
drunken wreck too broken hearted to deal with the simplest of everyday tasks –
like simply living. Every day’s challenge was to reduce the pain by achieving
the bottom of every whisky bottle, while sitting motionless hypnotized by the
TV, before returning to the sweat and drink infested pit where you would wake
up every day in your own vomit.

 Madison had seen what unleashing the pain could do to
a person, and she wouldn’t allow that to ever happen to her. She knew how to
cope with the pain, push it down until she convinced herself it didn’t exist
any longer. Phil had never been there for Madison, she had learnt not to rely
on him a long time ago. Drink had always been more important to Phil than
Madison had been, her whole life he had abandoned her. So now she was out on
her own, she felt no different. The feeling that Madison struggled to deal with
was the feeling of hopelessness. The feeling of hopelessness sucked all her
energy and life from inside, destroying every aspect which made Madison,
Madison until she was an empty shell. This had become a feeling that Madison
was not quite equipped to deal with.

The mass infliction of feelings consumed her. She lay
motionless on the floor of the bath tub, the hot water running over her
shivering naked body. Her tears ran thick and fast, but were disguised by the
flowing water that rained down upon her. This would be the only and last time
Madison would allow the pain to surface. After tonight Madison vowed she would
not shed a single tear for Phil or her life before London.

                                                                                                                                                                                   
                                                                                                                                                                       
*          
*                                                                                                                                                           
*

Madison couldn’t remember how long she had been on the floor
of the bath tub, but it was long enough for her toes and fingers to wrinkle.
She managed to somehow pull her lifeless body up out of the bath tub and turn
off the shower, wrap a towel around her naked body and get into one side of the
double bed. The digital clock of the bedside table read
2.55am
. It was
earlier what Madison thought, her mind was exhausted – she had been up for
nearly 24 hours and was emotionally exhausted. The pain that had consumed her
in the bathroom room had now passed, but it had left her with emptiness in her
pit of her stomach. She lay in the bed staring into the thick darkness of the
room, the duvet pulled up under her chin -her body still shaking violently
beneath the covers. Her mind was blank. She was in a catatonic state staring
blankly into the empty space like Phil did when he had one of his episodes.
Madison remained still for what felt like a few minutes before casually
glancing at the digital clock once again,
3.23am
it read. Time moved
more quickly when there was nothing to think about.

Madison pulled the towel off her naked body from underneath
the covers and dropped it on the bedroom floor. The sheet on the mattress felt
damp against her bare skin, but she didn’t care. Her hair was still wet and
clung to the pillow making it damp. A few tears streaked down her cheeks and
dropped onto the already dampen pillow. She lay motionless in the bed unable to
sleep, the tears continued to flow, but she did not cry out. Without warning
her eyelids slowly began to shut, sleep sucking her into the black hole of
unconsciousness.

Madison’s legs bucked beneath her, she almost fell but she
managed to stagger up straight and carry on running. The alleyway seemed even
darker then it had in her first dream. Her feet slipped on the wet concert
floor as she powered through with every stride, trying to keep ahead of the
unknown danger that pursued her. The calves of her legs screamed painfully as
she pushed her herself faster and faster – increasing her speed. The sound of
footsteps echoed the alleyway from behind her; they were not the footsteps of
someone running or moving with any pace, but the footsteps of someone taking
slow and heavy footsteps. This terrified Madison more than being chased - the
knowledge that her pursuer was still gaining on her without even breaking a
sweat. All her strength wouldn’t make a difference; she knew it would only be a
matter of time before the danger caught up with her. All her efforts were
worthless and she knew it. Madison couldn’t help but feel hopeless, her mind
had come to terms with death, but her heart wouldn’t let her give up. It pushed
her onwards through the thick blackness towards the small flicker of light at
the end of the alleyway. The darkness which clung to the alley was they
blackest darkness Madison had ever seen, too dark to see through and consuming
as it closed in around her. Madison had little choice but to run into the
unknown, there was nowhere else to escape to. Her heart was beating so loud it
drowned out the sound of her feet thumping against the concrete as she sprinted
down the long alleyway. The beating of her heart began to synchronise with the
heavy footsteps from behind, becoming louder and more pronounce. The palms of
her hands were wet and clammy as she made a fist in an attempt to force herself
further down the alleyway. Madison passed a large green dumpster, wet
newspapers scattered on the floor around the dumpster like the dream she had
had in the taxi on the way to the Travel Lodge. Her heart jumped into her mouth
and sweat poured from her forehead as she realised as she passed the dumpster that
it would not be long until she was grabbed by the unknown danger – pulling her
backwards into the darkness. Tears spilled out over her cheeks. Hopelessness
and fear thundered through her, there was nothing she would do to escape. Using
what strength she had left, Madison pushed her legs harder - ordering them to
move faster. Panic erupted causing her to whimper hysterically as she tried
frantically to put distance between herself and the thing that intended to hurt
her. It was as if she was running on the spot, never gaining any distance or
building up any real speed. Everything Madison tried was useless there was no
escape. The footsteps grew louder, they echoed around the alley sending
vibrations up Madison’s legs deep into her bones. The pursuer was now hot on
her heels. She had already played this scene out once before and she knew what
was about to occur, it was just the decision to either stop and allow the
inevitable  to happen or try to push forwards to achieve a different
outcome. Madison spun her head around trying to catch a glimpse of the danger
as it grabbed her this time. The alleyway was empty, darkness closed all around
her. Pale arms flew at Madison from the front, she screamed as it knocked her
off her feet onto the damp littered concrete. Hands grabbed her legs and sharp
fingernails tore into her fresh causing small beads of blood to spill down her
calves and drop onto the black concrete. Madison howled in pain, screaming at
the top of her lungs, fear consumed her as gravel cut into her arms and back as
she was pulled swiftly backwards into the darkness.