B00BWX9H30 EBOK (5 page)

Shaking his head he thought, “The things I do for…my rightful place in society.”

* * *

Supper was a success. Everyone liked her Yorkshire pudding. Even she was pleased with the way it turned out. It was getting late. She and Nathan retired to the parlor after supper. She told him about her life before the accident.

“I was the belle of the ball. My dance card was always full and I had lots of girlfriends, too. Until the accident. Oh, they came to see me in the hospital and even at home while the bandages were safely on. Once the scars were visible, they stopped coming. Fear kept them away. Fear they would have to be seen with me if they kept coming around.” She was bitter and couldn’t keep it out of her voice, though she tried.

They sat before the fire in two leather covered wing chairs. Nathan held his hand out to her and she put hers in his. “They couldn’t have been very good friends if they let something like scars scare them away.”

“Oh, I agree with you. I thought they were good friends, but I was proved wrong. They were only my friends while I was popular.”

He squeezed her hand. “I won’t let you go because of your scars. They don’t scare me or repulse me. Do you understand? Your scars are a part of you, no different to me than your brandy eyes.”

She’d tried to get the chair on the left so he wouldn’t see her scars while they were sitting. Somehow, he’d known what she was about and sat in the chair first. Her scars faced him the whole time they talked and now when he was being so sweet. But she didn’t dare trust his word. She’d been burned by too many people. People she thought cared for her. Friends. Beaus.

“It’s late and we should go to bed. Morning comes early,” said Nathan.

“I suppose we should.” She got up and headed back to the bedroom. Once she got there, she stopped in the middle of the room as though she’d forgotten what to do.

With her back to him she asked, “Would you help me out of my corset? I don’t have a maid here and I’ve been wearing it for more than a week now.”

“Of course.”

She took off her blouse and kept her back to him.

Warm fingers touched the skin above her corset. Then she felt the laces being undone. Once it was done, he opened it and gasped.

“My God, Ella! How have you been able to wear this? It’s horrible. You have sores where it’s rubbed you raw.”

“It’s been a little uncomfortable, but I didn’t realize there were sores. I’ll have to keep it off until they heal.”

“Until they heal, my ass. You’re never to wear that torture contraption again. You don’t need it anyway.”

He turned her to face him and she realized he was looking at her and the only thing between her and him was her arms covering her breasts.

“Lower your arms. I want to see what other damage has been done.”

“No.”

“Ella. I won’t attack you. Let me see.”

She lowered them.

“Oh, Ella. Such beauty marred by unnecessary damage. Sit on the bed and get off the rest of your clothes. You can put your nightgown on after I’ve treated your sores. I’ll be right back.” He left her standing there half naked in the middle of the room. She needed a bath. Badly. It’d been seven full days since her last one and she hadn’t been able to change clothes in all that time. The little she’d been able to wash up in the train lavatory wasn’t nearly enough.

Ella went to the cheval mirror that stood in the corner of the room by the closet. She looked at her body. Where her corset had ridden up and down under her arms and on the undersides of her breasts were sores, several of them under each arm. Her back had sores all up and down it where the laces pressed into the skin.

She took off her skirt and bloomers. Then she put on her robe but not her nightgown. Nathan wouldn’t be able to get to the sores to clean them with her nightgown on. And they needed cleaning. Now that they were exposed to the air, they hurt. Maybe she’d been too nervous to notice the pain before, but she sure felt it now.

Nathan returned with hot water in a basin and some soft towels. “Here now. Take your robe off and lift your arms.”

She did as he asked. Embarrassment kept her looking away from him.

“I can’t believe that you didn’t feel this. It had to have hurt.”

“I think I was too nervous. I certainly feel it now.”

He gently washed the affected areas with the hot water, soap and a soft cloth. It stung and burned, but she knew it needed to be done.

“Alright. That’s better. I’m going to go get some salve and then you can put on your nightgown.”

She looked down at her lap. “Thank you for taking care of me.”

He gently took her chin between his thumb and forefinger and raised it so she looked at him. “Ella. You’re my wife. I will always take care of you.”

She nodded, but kept her eyes lowered.

“Look at me.”

Raising her lids she met his intense gaze.

“Trust me, Ella. You’re mine now.” he said before lowering his lips to hers. He pulled back, “I’m just angry that you were put through such pain. Promise me you won’t ever wear that thing again.”

“But…”

“No buts. You can’t work in it, you can’t ride in it, the only thing it’s good for is kindling in the fireplace and I don’t know if the damn thing would burn.”

She laughed. “Probably not.”

“Good.” He smiled that devastating smile of his and there was a twinkle in his eye. “It’s nice to hear you laugh. Let me get that salve.”

He left and she realized she’d been sitting there fully naked to the waist. She shook her head in wonder. How could she have not noticed that?

When he returned, she’d pulled her robe up to cover her breasts.

He grinned at her. “Decided to cover those lovelies up, huh? Well, you’ll just have to uncover them again; I have to put salve on the poor beauties.”

Now she was embarrassed. Thoroughly.

“I’m your husband. I’m allowed to see and touch your body Now, raise your arms again.”

She did and he put salve on the sores under her arms, along her back and under her breasts. Wearing the corset for seven days straight without a break had savaged her body. Truth be told, she didn’t want to put the thing back on. Nathan forbidding it, though, did make her want to defy him just for spite. She was being ridiculous. The sores needed to heal and wearing the corset wouldn’t allow that.

When he finished, he gently raised her robe and covered her up. “You don’t know how much it pains me to cover these beauties. You do know you have beautiful breasts don’t you?”

She shook her head. “I’d never thought about it. I don’t know what other women’s look like so I don’t have anything to reference them to.”

“Trust me. They’re gorgeous.”

“You say that a lot.”

“What?”

“Trust me.”

He picked up the dirty towels and the basin. Then he just grinned at her and left the room.

CHAPTER 3

It was her first night as a married woman. She believed Nathan when he said he wouldn’t take her until she asked him to. But she also knew there was only one way to have children and she wanted children more than anything else.

She was sitting on the bed when Nathan came back.

He unbuttoned his shirt and took it off, dropping it to the floor. Ella was greeted by a broad expanse of male chest. Beautiful, caramel colored male chest. He was not unmarred. Above each of his nipples were straight horizontal scars about two inches long. He stopped in front of her.

She reached up and traced them with her fingers.

“Who did this to you?” She was indignant that someone would have wounded him. She was unprepared for the answer.

“I did.”

Her gaze snapped up and locked with his. “But why?”

“It is part of a ceremony.”

“A ceremony where you harm yourself? That’s barbaric.” The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. She slapped her hands over the offending orifice.

His eyes shuttered.

“Nathan. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I….”

He held up his hand. “No, don’t apologize. We need to get this out. The ceremony I went through is a religious ceremony. The most sacred of all ceremonies to the Arapaho. It is a right of passage. All young Arapaho men go through the Sun Dance ceremony upon entering manhood. It is hoped that you will get a vision during the hanging.”

“Hanging?”

“Yes. The skin is pierced with bone. Then a rope is attached to them and the warrior is lifted until he is hanging by the bone. To liberate himself he must tear the skewers through the skin.”

She covered her mouth again, this time to control her gag reflex and to stop her from saying something she shouldn’t. That didn’t stop a quiet whimper from escaping.

He sat next to her on the bed. “Don’t be concerned. I got my vision.”

“What did you see?”

“You. I saw you.”

She was taken aback. “Me? But we just met.”

He nodded. “I know. I didn’t actually see you, but I saw that I married a beautiful white woman. I didn’t believe it was possible so I discarded the message.”

“What else did you see in your vision?”

“I saw children and…,” he got very quiet. “I saw someone trying to kill you.”

“I take it by your silence, they were successful.”

“It was just a vision. Nothing more. Part of it came true. I will keep you safe, Ella. But who could want you dead?”

“Just MacGregor. I told you about him.”

“This was someone closer to you. Perhaps a family member.”

“There is only me and Joshua now. And Joshua is worried about MacGregor as much as I am. He’s hired two bodyguards. They’re with him day and night.”

He put his arm around her shoulder. “You must be tired. It’s been a long day for both of us.”

She was tired. Her eyelids felt like an anchor was weighing them down. “It has been.”

“Then let’s go to bed.”

“I uh…,”

“Don’t worry, you’re much too sore for anything other than sleep. But you will sleep in my arms.”

Her eyes popped open. “What?”

He smiled. “I may not get to feast on your body tonight, but I can at least hold you.”

She swallowed hard as he shed the rest of his clothes and she couldn’t help but stare. He was male perfection. His skin was smooth and taunt over hard muscles. She’d already seen his wide shoulders and flat stomach but he also had strong muscular legs and though he might not want to take her, part of his body looked like it was ready to.

He looked down. “Don’t worry. I’m in control. You have no need to fear.”

She shook her head. “You’re beautiful.”

“Thank you, but men are supposed to be handsome not beautiful.”

“You are that too, but there is no other way to describe your body.” Just looking at him made her warm all over.

“I’m glad you think so. A man’s wife should always find him attractive. Just as he finds her.”

Now she did lower her eyes to her lap.

“Why should that embarrass you?

“Until you, no one has found me attractive in a long time.”

“Because they were blind and did not see the treasure in front of them.” He came to her on the bed and took her into his arms, “and thank the Gods they didn’t or you wouldn’t have come to me.”

With those words his lips met hers in a scorching kiss. Her tongue automatically came out to duel with his. When they came apart both were breathless.

“When you’re healed, we’re going to have a wonderful time. If your kiss is any indication, you have untapped passion in you my lovely little wife.”

She didn’t have any idea what he was talking about, but his words left her pleased and full of desire.

“I’ll teach you, Ella. We’ll explore and come to know each other’s bodies as well as we know our own. But now I want you to rest. Tomorrow will come too soon and it’ll be as busy as this one.”

* * *

She’d left Nathan asleep in their bed. As quietly as she could, Ella pulled the long tin tub off the porch and into the center of the kitchen. She already had two metal buckets full of water heating on the stove. When the water was hot she poured one into the tub and set one to the side. She filled the empty bucket again from the pump at the sink and added the cold water to the tub. Thank God for small favors, at least she didn’t have to lug it in from the pump out in the yard.

She added a little more hot water from the bucket beside the tub until the temperature was perfect. She placed a towel and a clean night gown on a chair she brought over from the table and then she undressed leaving her old nightgown in a pile on the floor.

Climbing into the hot water she couldn’t stop the small moan of pleasure. She reached up and removed the pins from her hair letting the thick mass fall to the floor. She leaned back and let the hot water relax her. After a few minutes she scooted forward bringing her hair into the water. Then she lay back until her hair was completely submerged and stayed that way, relaxing the tight muscles in her back that were still stiff from the ride in the buckboard from the train station and all the work today that she wasn’t used to. Sitting back up she took her precious rose soap she brought with her from New York and scrubbed her hair. She closed her eyes laid back again submerging her hair and rinsing most of the soap from it.