Baby It's Cold Outside (25 page)

‘Makes sense,' Harry said. ‘He's a smart kid but all this stuff with Jamie and now Michael turning up – no offence,' she nodded at Michael and he nodded back. ‘He's bound to be confused. Maybe he just needed some time out.'

‘We need to go,' Tansy said. ‘Tell us where it is.'

‘I'll go,' I said. ‘I know where it is and he might talk to me. I'm a bit removed from it all.'

Tansy protested but Michael put his arm round her.

‘It makes sense,' he said. ‘Let Esme go and we can follow. Where is the cave?'

‘It's on the shore,' I said, gabbling a bit. ‘Along from the café. Dad, can you drive me down the hill? I can cut through by the church – it's quicker than going all the way along.'

Dad nodded.

‘Harry,' I said. ‘Can you please sort everything out? Get hold of Jamie and explain what's happening? And speak to Kirsty and tell her we've been held up?'

‘I'm on it,' Harry said.

Lou had appeared back in the kitchen.

‘The Claddach police are doing a search down in town,' she said. ‘Did I hear you say he could be by the loch?'

‘I think he's in my cave,' I said. ‘I'm going to find him.'

I looked down at myself – still wearing my snuggly dressing gown.

‘I need to change,' I said.

‘Don't mess your hair up,' Harry warned. I gave her a withering look.

‘I'll let the station know,' Lou said. ‘But I'll get them to keep looking just in case.'

Tansy let out a little moan, and Michael pulled her close.

‘The cars will be here in a minute,' Mum pointed out. ‘When they arrive we can all go down. Don't worry, Tansy. We'll find him.'

I ran upstairs – not caring a jot about my lovely hair – and threw on some jeans. Then I ran back down again, grabbed my phone, my keys and one of Suky's brightly coloured blankets, and followed Dad to the car where I sat jiggling my legs impatiently and ringing Jamie over and over. He didn't answer. It was nearly three p.m. though – he'd be waiting for me in the gallery by now. I wondered if he'd left his phone at his parents' house or if he'd just switched it off.

‘Where is the cut through,' Dad asked as he drove into the town square.

‘Just at the end here,' I pointed through the windscreen. ‘By the church.'

He pulled up and I undid my seatbelt.

‘Can you go to the gallery and see Jamie?' I begged him. ‘Tell him what's happening and tell him, just tell him I am coming.'

Dad leaned over and gave me a kiss.

‘Feeling like a step-mum now?' he said.

‘I just can't bear to think of him scared and cold and thinking no one cares about him,' I said, my voice catching.

‘That's it,' Dad said. ‘That's parenthood, right there. Go on. Find that little lad and then go and get married.'

Chapter 39

I ran along the shore, as fast as I could in my bulky snow boots on the slippery surface. Once or twice I stumbled and once I actually fell, tripping over a rock hidden under the snow and ending up sprawling on the rough ground. I got up without pausing and wiped my bleeding hands on my jeans, then carried on until I saw the opening to the cave.

You wouldn't necessarily know it was there, I thought. Parker was clever to have found it. If he had found it. I hoped with every bone of my body that he had, because if he wasn't there I couldn't begin to imagine where he was. Should I call out? No, I decided. I didn't want to startle him. Instead I walked normally, crunching through the snow, towards the entrance. He would hear me coming and then my arrival wouldn't be a surprise.

I skirted the big rock that hid the cave's opening and went inside, ducking my head to avoid hitting the low rocks that made a sort of doorframe.

Parker was sitting on the sandy floor, back against the wall, hugging his knees with one arm and digging in the ground with a stick with the other.

He didn't look up at me as I came in.

‘Hi Esme,' he said, his teeth chattering. ‘I hoped you'd come and not Mommy.'

I draped Suky's blanket round his shoulders and tucked it in tightly, then I sat down next to him and put my arm around him.

‘Your mummy is very worried about you,' I said.

Parker snuggled into me.

‘I know,' he said. ‘She worries about me all the time. I worry about her too.'

‘You do?'

He nodded.

‘You're a kind boy,' I said.

We sat together in silence for a little while.

‘You did well to find the cave,' I said. ‘What do you think of it?'

‘It's smaller than I expected,' he said. ‘But it's cool.'

‘And did you come to do some thinking?'

‘I did,' Parker said. He looked very small sitting there, wrapped in Suky's bright blanket.

‘What about?'

‘Family,' he said. ‘My family's all messed up.'

I paused.

‘What do you think a family is?' I asked.

‘A mom, a dad and some kids,' Parker said straightaway. ‘Maybe a dog.'

‘Where do you see families like that?'

‘On TV,' Parker said. ‘In books.'

‘What about your friends from after-school club? Are their families like that?'

Parker thought for a minute, then he shook his head slowly.

‘Some,' he said. ‘Ethan has like five brothers, and a mom and a dad.'

‘What about the others?'

‘Emma has two moms,' he said. ‘I don't know if she has a dad – she never talks about him.'

‘Okay,' I said. ‘Anyone else?'

‘Ryan lives with his mom and his sister but his daddy lives across town. He has two bedrooms and he gets two lots of presents at Christmas.'

He thought some more.

‘Brandon has a mom and dad and a brother,' he said. ‘But his dad has other kids who are grown-ups. They come to collect him from class sometimes. That's a bit strange.'

I nodded.

‘How about my family?' I said. ‘When I was growing up, I lived with my mum and my auntie and my cousin. And my dad lived in a different country with my brothers and my step-mum.'

‘Isn't Harry your sister?' Parker said.

‘Nope,' I said. ‘She's my cousin. When I met your dad, who lived with both his parents, I thought his family was the strange one.'

Parker giggled.

‘Harry's never met her dad,' I went on. ‘She doesn't want to.'

‘Really?' Parker said, obviously horrified at the thought.

‘She says she's got enough family,' I said, ruffling his hair. ‘She's probably right.'

‘Mommy says Harry and Louise are going to adopt a baby,' Parker said. ‘I guess their baby will have two moms.'

‘Right,' I said. ‘They'll still be a family though and do you know why?'

Parker shook his head.

‘Because of love.'

He smiled at me and I noticed he was beginning to go a bit blue round the lips. He must have been outside for ages, poor wee soul. I had to start wrapping things up.

‘Let me tell you something even doctors don't know,' I said. ‘Hearts are amazing.'

Parker looked dubious.

‘Doctors know that,' he said. ‘They pump blood all round our bodies.'

‘They do,' I said. ‘But the really clever thing about hearts is they can just grow and grow. They never get full up. You can just keep finding new people to love and there will always be room for them. So you've got plenty of room in your heart for Mommy, and Daddy Michael, and Daddy Jamie. You mustn't worry that you're going to run out of love because that will never, ever happen.'

Parker looked relieved.

‘I just felt weird that Daddy Jamie is so cool but I love Daddy Michael too,' he said. ‘I didn't know what to do with them both here.'

‘I think the best thing to do is just have double fun with them,' I said. ‘Dads are brilliant – I love my dad to bits. You're extra super lucky to have two dads to love and who love you.'

Parker grinned, even though his shivering was getting more violent.

‘I am,' he said. ‘I've got an extra dad.'

‘Good work,' I said. ‘Are we cool?'

‘We're cool,' he said.

‘Actually we're freezing,' I laughed. ‘We should go. Your mum is so worried about you, and I kind of have to get married.'

Parker got to his feet but his legs were shaky and he stumbled and almost fell. I wrapped his blanket round him again, then picked him up. I walked out of the cave, Parker nestling against my shoulder, and back along the shore.

Chapter 40

It was hard carrying Parker, who was heavier than I thought he'd be, so I was relieved when I saw figures in the distance through the snow.

‘Esme,' I heard. ‘Esme?'

‘Jamie,' I said. I tried to run, Parker's legs banging against my knees. He'd gone very floppy and I thought – hoped – he'd gone to sleep. Worn out with all the emotion and the cold.

The snow was getting so heavy now that I was almost upon Jamie before I could see him. Suddenly he was there, taking Parker from my arms and kissing me, and crying.

‘You found him,' he said. ‘You found my boy.'

‘We need to hurry,' I said. ‘He's really cold.'

We turned and raced back to the cafe. There were two paramedics – a man and a woman – and a young handsome police officer waiting, and Tansy was standing at the door, her eyes wild and her make-up smudged.

‘Oh thank god,' she said, gathering Parker into her arms. ‘Thank god.'

Parker stirred and I felt a wave of relief that he was okay.

‘Mommy,' he said.

Carefully Tansy lay him down on one of the cafe's sofas and stroked his face.

‘He's freezing,' she said. ‘We need to get him warm.'

The paramedics bent over Parker, taking his pulse and checking his breathing. One of them shook out a silver space blanket and wrapped it round him, then wrapped Suky's blanket on top.

‘He'll be fine,' the female paramedic said. ‘Warm drinks will help, and he'll probably be very tired for a while. Have you got a heater you can bring closer to him?'

‘I'll get it,' Jamie said, heading to the kitchen to find the electric heater we used sometimes.

‘I'll make him some hot chocolate,' I said.

The paramedics and police officer left as I went over to the counter and started preparing a mug. My hands were shaking and I didn't think it was just the cold. If we'd not found Parker in time, what would have happened to him? Could he have died? I had no doubt he would have been in serious trouble – the papers were always full of stories in the winter of men who'd gone out drinking, then dropped their door key in the snow on the way home and been found frozen in the morning, after trying to sleep it off outside. Parker was tiny compared to them.

I put my hand up to my cheek and discovered I was crying. Jamie came up behind me and put his arms round me.

‘It's okay,' he said. ‘He's okay. You did so well to find him as quickly as you did.'

I put my head on Jamie's shoulder and sobbed.

‘I didn't know what to do,' I said. ‘He was so sad and I wanted him to know how much we all love him.'

Jamie stroked my hair gently.

‘He knows,' he said. ‘He knows. You've proved it.'

I took a deep breath and wiped my face.

‘Where is everyone?' I asked. ‘All our wedding guests?'

‘They're all at Millicent's,' Jamie said. ‘She stepped into the breach.'

I smiled. Thank goodness for Millicent.

‘I'll text Harry and let her know we've found Parker,' I said. ‘She can tell everyone else.'

Harry texted back while I was stirring the hot chocolate.

“Great news!” she wrote. I took the mug over to Parker who was beginning to wake up.

‘Here you go, buddy,' I said. ‘Drink this.'

Parker gave me a dazzling smile and my heart lifted a bit. He looked from me, to Jamie then Tansy and finally to Michael who was standing silently with Tansy, holding her hand.

‘Esme says my heart is big enough to love all of you,' he said.

Tansy kissed the top of his head.

‘It certainly is,' she said. ‘Esme is right.'

‘She says I'm extra lucky to have two dads.'

‘That's right,' Jamie said. I squeezed his hand.

‘And I have Mommy, and I have Esme too,' Parker said – a slight questioning lift to his voice.

‘You do,' I said, stepping forward and stroking his cheek. ‘You have me, too.'

We sat there for a while, all of us gazing at Parker and marvelling at how amazing he was. And eventually he stopped shivering and started to look more like himself again.

Her face full of relief, Tansy took my arm and steered me away from Parker.

‘I wanted to say thank you,' she said. ‘For finding him.'

I smiled at her.

‘It wasn't so hard, once I'd worked out where he was.'

Tansy leaned in closer to me.

‘How did you work it out?' she asked in a low voice.

I was slightly confused by the question.

‘Well, like I told you, it was because of a conversation we'd had…'

Tansy looked disappointed.

‘That was it?'

I glanced over at Jamie, hoping to catch his eye, but he was stroking Parker's hair and didn't look up. What was Tansy asking here?

‘That was it,' I said. ‘Why?'

Tansy leaned closer still.

‘I thought you might have done something,' she whispered. ‘A spell.'

I stared at her in horror.

‘A spell,' I said, forcing a shrill laugh. ‘What do you mean, a spell?'

Tansy gave me a stern look.

‘Oh come on, Ez,' she said. ‘How stupid do you think I am?'

Shit, I thought. Shit. What should I say?