Bachelor Unforgiving (18 page)

She had gotten into her car and buckled up her seat belt when her cell phone rang. She figured it was probably Marti, but she didn't want to talk to anyone right now, not even her sister. Since Marti shared her story with Kara, she had tried to talk Marti into getting counseling. Her sister had waved off the notion, saying it was too late, but Kara didn't agree. She felt there were issues Marti still needed to resolve so that one day she could enjoy a loving relationship with a man.

Kara figured she was a good one to talk when she didn't have that kind of relationship for herself. What was more pathetic than being in love with a man who didn't love you back? A man who couldn't forgive and let go? A man who refused to love her even though she believed that he could if he just allowed himself to do so. But he wouldn't and he had proven that. So now she had to move on. She'd done it before and would do it again.

She felt bad about not taking Marti's call. She hadn't spoken to her sister in a couple of days, but Kara had texted her, claiming she was extremely busy working on an important job-related project. She didn't want Marti to think something was wrong. The last thing she wanted was for her sister to know about her current situation with Virgil. Marti would blame herself for everything, and she needed to move on, as well.

Marti had shared with her that she had sought Virgil out and apologized. For her sister to do what she did and face Virgil was a start. It didn't surprise Kara that he hadn't been receptive. She knew all too well that he was not a forgiving man.

Like she'd told Virgil two days ago, today all her stuff would be gone when he came home. It hadn't taken more than three hours that morning for her to pack up, load the car and make two trips to her place. She hadn't realized how much extra stuff she'd purchased, assuming she was there to stay.

And when she had walked out the door of his house, she hadn't looked back. Nor had she looked around to see if Flo's posse was about. At the moment she truly didn't care.

* * *

Virgil entered his home and immediately felt a sense of loss when he glanced around. True to her word, Kara had made sure any traces of her were gone. It was as if she'd never been there. The pillows she had put on his living room sofa, the green plants she'd placed by his fireplace and that rug that had been on the floor near the breakfast bar were no longer there.

Needing a beer, he headed for the refrigerator and paused when he saw she'd left his extra key on the breakfast bar. His gut clenched. Why did he suddenly feel so lonely? It wasn't as if he'd never been alone before. For him, that was the name of the game. The only reason he could think of for his melancholy mood was that, during the days she'd been there, Kara had made her presence known, not just in his kitchen, but in every single room in his house.

It had become a common thing to come home and find her here in his kitchen, standing by the stove in her bare feet, smiling when she saw him, and then crossing the room to give him a big hug. Why had that hug been so easy to get used to? Why did he feel the need for one now?

Opening the refrigerator, he pulled out a beer, popped the tab and took a swig, needing it. Lowering the can from his lips, he thought about other times, not only in this kitchen, but throughout his house...both recent and when they'd been together years before. He doubted there was any room where they hadn't made love. Hell, he even remembered them making out in several of the closets, so overcome with desire for each other that they couldn't even get dressed without more heated kisses.

He couldn't help smiling at those memories. Then another memory suddenly flared in his mind. The one of how she'd looked when she'd realized he was ready for her to leave and go back to her place. He felt a tightening in his gut. He had hurt her and he'd known at that moment she'd been hoping things would turn out differently between them.

In his defense, that had been her assumption, not his. But then he couldn't help but think of how things would be without her in his life. Being the professional she was, she would honor the terms of the contract between her company and his. That meant they would still be seen together around town. Nothing had really changed. If questions came up as to why she'd moved back to her home he would just say it was closer to her job, which wasn't a lie. As long as he and Kara continued to see each other on a regular basis, no one would have reason to question their relationship.

He took another swig of his beer, knowing he was wrong about that. A lot had changed. But he refused to deal with that now. He had something else on his mind that should be taking precedence. His business deal with the Nelson Group. He would be flying to Toronto next week to finalize the paperwork between him and Stan Nelson. And earlier that day Pam had reminded him of the charity 5k walk for cancer research next weekend. In a way he was looking forward to it as a way to relieve his stress.

He frowned. When had he ever been stressed? He had a feeling he was beginning to find out just how it felt.

Chapter 20

M
arti looked over at her sister. “Are you sure things are okay between you and Virgil?”

Kara paused in the middle of sipping her tea. She and Marti were having lunch at the Racetrack Café. She would have chosen another place but dining here had been Marti's idea. The last thing she needed was to run into Virgil like they'd done the last time she and her sister had been here together.

It was hard to believe but it had almost been a week since she'd seen or talked to him, although he had sent her a text message a couple of days ago to let her know of his trip to Canada. She knew the only reason he'd gone to the trouble was because of the ruse of them pretending to be lovers. It wouldn't look good if she didn't know his whereabouts if someone were to ask. She figured he was probably counting the days until he would no longer have to pretend interest in her.

She forced a smile as she answered her sister's question. “I'm positive. What makes you think otherwise?”

Marti shrugged as she picked up a French fry off her plate. “He hasn't been around.”

Kara lifted a brow. “How do you know that?”

“Because you haven't mentioned him. You said you moved back to your place and didn't say why, so I assumed the two of you had a disagreement or something.”

Kara didn't say anything for a minute as she took another sip of her tea, knowing Marti was watching her closely. She couldn't let Marti or anyone else know her relationship with Virgil wasn't for real. Or that she'd tried winning his heart back and failed miserably. So she said, “Everything is fine, Marti. Virgil is in Toronto finalizing an important business deal.”

“I'm surprised you didn't go with him.”

She wasn't. Kara knew she was the last person he would have taken, even for appearances' sake. “I have a business to run here, besides I knew he would be busy most of the time.”

She knew Marti still had her suspicions, but at least she hadn't asked any more questions. Kara was glad of that. Virgil had mentioned he would be back in time for the walk on Saturday and she had to prepare herself to see him again. That was one meeting she wasn't particularly looking forward to.

* * *

Virgil entered his hotel room thinking his meeting with the Nelson Group had gone off without a hitch. All the necessary papers had been signed and it was a great day for Bougard Enterprises. He had talked to his father on his way back to the hotel, and Matthew had made plans to take Rhona out to celebrate.

Speaking of celebration, Nelson had invited him out on the town, stating he knew where they could meet up with a couple of beautiful women. But Virgil hadn't been interested and had turned him down. For some reason, he wanted to be alone tonight.

Removing his jacket, he tossed it aside and that was when he noticed the bottle of champagne that had been delivered to his room. He read the card and smiled. It was from his five godbrothers. They'd known about his trip to Toronto and were happy for him. He appreciated that.

He slid down into the chair, thinking he needed a woman. But not just any woman. He needed Kara. He'd gotten her text message that morning letting him know that, due to an impending rainstorm, Saturday's 5k walk had been postponed.

He had texted her back and thanked her for the information and she hadn't responded. There was no reason for her to have done so, but a part of him was aching and it was an ache that wouldn't go away. His eyes lit on the bottle of champagne on the coffee table. Why was he thinking about the day he'd brought champagne home to share with Kara? Champagne they'd never gotten around to drinking because she had left that evening.

She had left because he was too stubborn, too bullheaded, too damn full of himself to accept that nobody was perfect. People made mistakes, even the people you hadn't counted on making them. Sometimes those mistakes hurt. You forgave and forgot. Life moved on. No one should live in the past.

Then why was he?

Why did the thought of what he was not allowing himself to share with Kara leave an emptiness in his stomach? A hard ache in his chest and an intense longing in his heart? Closing his eyes, he thought of her—all those times she had smiled at him, made him laugh. He realized he had shared more good times with her than bad. And those good times had been the best. He smiled as he thought about them, but he couldn't help the tightening in his groin when he especially thought of their bedtime activities.

He thought of how he would make love to her, ease into her body, feel the way her muscles would clench him in possession, how her hands would stroke him with love. Love...

Although she hadn't said it, he believed she still loved him. And Marti believed it, too, not that he gave much credit to her opinion. Still...

What about him? He'd wanted to believe all there was between them was sex. He'd held on to that conviction steadfastly...till now. Now he knew it had been more than that. He had only been fooling himself by claiming there was no emotional component to their lovemaking. Now was the time to admit the truth. He was in love with her.

He opened his eyes as he remembered his father's words.
My point, Virgil Matthew Bougard, is that I don't want it to take twenty years for you to realize that Kara Goshay is the best thing that's ever happened to you.

Virgil drew in a deep breath. His father was right. She was best thing to ever happen to him. A deep sensation stirred in his gut when he remembered the pain he'd seen in her eyes the day she had left his home. Pain he had caused when he'd allowed her to believe it had only been sex between them. Now he had to convince her otherwise. He had to prove to Kara that he loved her.

He wanted to go back to Charlotte and not only tell her but show her what she meant to him. Then after spending time together rekindling what they once had and never lost, he wanted them to plan their future. He wanted to offer what he'd planned the last time. Marriage. He wanted Kara as his wife.

It didn't bother him that in making that happen he would no longer be a bachelor. He hoped Zion would understand since that would make him the lone bachelor in the club. But he figured Z could handle it.

But what he himself couldn't handle was not having Kara be a permanent part of his life. Now he understood how U, W, X and Y felt about the women they'd married. Now, more than anything, he wanted to be included in that group.

Standing, he headed toward the bathroom to take a shower and to plan. He would do whatever he had to do in order to make sure he was no longer a man who held a grudge. He was no longer a bachelor who couldn't forgive.

* * *

The forecasters had been right, Kara thought, glancing out the window. She'd awoken to the sound of pouring rain and it was still going strong. She wondered if it would lighten up any. Not that she had anywhere to go, which was why it was close to noon and she was still in her PJs. She intended to make this a lazy weekend. She'd downloaded a new book on her e-reader and, if she finished the novel in record time, she would check out a flick on the movie channel.

She refused to think about Virgil. Unless his plans had changed, he should have gotten back into town last night. Now that the walk was postponed, he had no reason to call or text to let her know. They didn't have that kind of relationship. He'd made that clear.

An hour later, after eating a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch, she was about to settle on her couch with her e-reader when she heard her doorbell. Who would be visiting her in this weather? As much as she loved her sister, she didn't need Marti right now. She had a feeling her sister still suspected something was up and that Kara wasn't being completely honest with her about her relationship with Virgil.

Easing off the sofa, Kara padded in her bare feet toward the door, loving the feel of her new floor beneath her feet. She tightened her bathrobe around her waist the minute she glanced through the peep hole. Her breath caught when she saw it was Virgil.

What was he doing here? The obvious answer came to mind and that fired her anger. Did he think it was still the status quo between them? That he could practically ignore her for over a week then show up on her doorstep for a booty call?

Snatching open the door, she glared at him. “What are you doing here, Virgil?”

“May I come in, Kara?”

She noticed then that he was wet. Rain water was dripping off him. “Yes,” she said, moving aside.

Virgil paused to take off his shoes as well as his wet jacket, which he tossed across a chair on her covered porch. “Do you have a towel? I don't want to mess up your new floors,” Virgil asked, not entering her home.

“Okay. I'll be right back.”

* * *

Virgil stood there and watched as Kara walked off. That gave him a chance to pull himself together. How could he not have known he still loved her? And that no matter what happened in the past he was ready to move forward? The thought of not having her in his life was something he couldn't accept. He wouldn't accept.

“Here you are.”

She had returned and was handing him several thick towels. “Thanks.”

He dried himself off while holding her gaze. He could feel the sexual chemistry flowing between them. He also detected something else. Love. He doubted if she could feel it yet because she was returning his stare with apprehension in her gaze.

It was only after he felt he'd sufficiently dried himself off that he crossed over her threshold, handing the towels back to her as he closed the door. When she walked off to take the towels to her laundry room, he looked around at her floors. The workers had done a nice job.

She returned and saw him still standing in the foyer. “You still haven't said why you're here, Virgil.”

“I hope we can talk.”

She rolled her eyes. “Talk? Yeah, right.”

“You don't believe me?”

“Should I? When have you ever come here to just talk?”

Come to think of it, he couldn't recall a time he hadn't come here with sex on his mind. “Well, this time I only want to talk.”

“About what, Virgil? What could we possibly have to talk about? I think you've made it clear—you accept my apology but will never forget how I didn't trust you. That you feel there can never be love without trust. I get that. I believe you're wrong but what you think is your prerogative. I don't care anymore.”

He knew it was his fault she felt that way and it would be up to him to help her care again. He leaned against the closed door. “That might have been true then, but not now. And I think we have a lot to talk about.”

He could tell from the look in her eyes she was slightly confused. “Like what?”

“Like how I've been a fool. How wrong it was to be so unforgiving. How wrong I was to deny the one thing I want and need in my life. You.”

When she didn't say anything and just stared at him, he decided to keep talking, spilling his soul and speaking from his heart. “I love you, Kara. I guess you can say I always have, which is why that episode hurt me so much. I allowed the pain to harden my heart, and I vowed never to love anyone again. Problem was that I loved you too much to stop loving you.”

“You said you'd forgive me but wouldn't forget,” Kara said, tears misting her eyes.

“No more. I'm willing to forgive and to forget,” he said, slowly walking toward her. “I don't want to live in the past anymore, Kara. Instead I want to start planning a future with you. I want to pick up where we left off, to rebuild our lives together, to learn from our mistakes but not dwell on them.”

Coming to a stop in front of her, he added, “I want us to dwell on each other.” He wiped away her tears. “Will you forgive me for being such a stubborn unforgiving ass?”

She nodded. “Yes, I forgive you.”

“And will you accept me as a man who loves you?”

She nodded again. “Only if you accept me as the woman who loves you.”

“Oh, baby.” And then he pulled her into his arms and kissed her.

Virgil tried not to let his hunger for Kara take over, but he loved her so much and he wanted her. It was a deadly combination. When she parted her lips to give his tongue entrance, his arousal went into high gear. But he knew what he had to do. He broke off the kiss.

The confused look in her eyes drove him to sweep her off her feet into his arms and head for the sofa. Sitting down, he cradled her in his lap. “I love you so much, baby. I never stopped loving you. Everybody could see it but me.” He leaned down and brushed a kiss across her lips. “I don't want to lose twenty years with you.”

Kara didn't know what he was talking about with the twenty years, but she didn't want them to lose any more time together, either. Nor was she exactly sure what had brought about this change in Virgil, but she didn't care. He was where he belonged, where she always wanted him to be. With her.

“Will you permanently improve my image by marrying me, Kara?”

She couldn't help but smile as happiness spread through every part of her. “Yes, I will marry you. I love you so much, Virgil.”

“And I love you. Thanks for not giving up on me, baby. Thanks for loving me during those times I didn't deserve to be loved.”

She could hardly believe she was hearing those words from Virgil now. She'd waited so long to hear him say I love you. She leaned up, wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her mouth to his.

Virgil couldn't resist taking over the kiss, deepening it, tangling his tongue with hers. If he didn't pull back, he knew where things would lead and like he'd told her, he only wanted to talk. Pulling his mouth away from her moist lips, he said, “We need to finish talking.”

A smile touched her lips. “I think we've said enough for now. We've said what's most important, don't you think?”

Instead of answering, he stood with her in his arms and headed straight for her bedroom.