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"Why?’ I asked.

"Something that Iida said,” he said thoughtfully. “About Wolf not liking some of the players in the Game."

"The man was mad."

"I don't think that he was a man at all,” Keno said. “He was something evil, worse than the monsters that live here."

"Like myself?” I asked lightly.

"You and Tamazusa-sama aren't evil,” Keno asserted. “If you were, you would have told me about my ancestor."

Before I could say anything, he leaned up and kissed me. I wasn't surprised when it became more involved, because I believed he was using his body to tell me something that he couldn't. He rolled me over on my back and started kissing his way down my neck, making the most amazing sounds as he did. He licked my chest, worshiping it almost, making small nips occasionally, causing me to writhe and gasp in pleasure. When he got to my staff, he licked it, twirling his tongue around it, and then licked and sucked on my sac. He eased me for a time, and then I lifted him up for a kiss. I tasted my sweat and seed on him, and it was more intoxicating than the headiest sake. “I want you,” I groaned.

"Take me,” he whispered, rolling gracefully onto his back and spreading his legs.

I studied him, hating the traces of Iida's scratches on his legs, but there was also an innocent wantonness about him. His staff was erect and curling toward his stomach, his sac was hard. I leaned over to taste him, smelling of his desire and herbs. He smiled at me and poured some oil on his fingers. I watched, enthralled, as he prepared himself for me, because I was afraid I would hurt him. He was moaning and whimpering as he worked three fingers into his opening slowly. His eyes were half-open, and all I could see was love in them. “I can't,” he husked out.

"Prepare me,” I said.

He dreamily withdrew his fingers and poured more oil on them, then caressed my shaft, oiling it thoroughly. I loomed above him and guided his left leg onto my shoulder, marveling at how flexible he was even as I pushed into him. I was in no hurry to end this, so I made sure that my pace was fast enough for him to enjoy, but not to bring him to climax. I held his wrists down by his sides so he couldn't touch himself and proceeded to kiss him breathless as I rocked in and out of him.

"Please,” he begged, sounding needy and shameless. I marveled at the changes a year had wrought in him. I knew that he wouldn't have been this way in the beginning, even after we had become intimate.

"Please what?” I asked lazily.

"Please... I'm close,” he whined, begging delightfully.

"So am I,” I told him, getting a bit breathless myself. “And I will not be hurried."

He whimpered deliciously until he came, a soft moan deep in his throat as he spilled. I relaxed then, coming with him, delighting in the fact that we had come together.

I collapsed gently upon him, eventually shifting so that he was curled in my arms.

"You don't have to go,” he murmured.

I thought about that. I didn't have to
now
, but I would soon. The
Hakkenshi
were gathering forces across Nippon to drive the invaders out. I just hoped it would be enough to save it from what I had learned from Iida.

I did something so cowardly I should have been ashamed of myself. I kept silent and didn't remind my lover that while I might not be leaving now, I would leave him eventually.

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Tamazusa

I was surprised to see Mason return with Aboshi from Inumura's castle.

"Just wanted to make sure that you're all right,” he said, trying to sit down gracefully in a kimono. All he managed to do was not expose himself to me. I've seen drunken merchants who were more graceful. But he was trying, and that was what was important.

"And why wouldn't I be?” I asked. “Iida's forces have melted away, like the snow in spring."

They had. His troops had fled in the night, returning to the sea, it seemed to me. Mawatari had committed
seppuku
. Okita had found his body in their camp. It looked like the man had not had a second and had died in agony after he opened his stomach.

Now the
Hakkenshi
and I had to rally the other lords of Nippon to chase the Trust and the Southerners out of Kyushu.

"It was you who seems to have been in trouble,” I teased.

"Fuck, that was embarrassing,” he said. “Just don't give the kid shit about it. He kicked ass."

"So I have been told,” I said, stepping closer to him, smiling coyly at him. “And you have nothing to be ashamed about either."

Mason grinned. “I knew there was a reason that I liked you.” He sobered. “Iida was bugfuck insane. And shit, I think that there's something nasty hidden on Kyushu."

"We will deal with that when we have to,” I said. Then I sighed. “And now I have to convince the other lords that unifying under one banner is the only way we can save ourselves."

"Hinaginu-san tried to explain that crap to me,” Mason said. “I still don't understand shit about it. But are you going to be the big boss?"

I laughed and shook my head. “I will leave that honor to Inusuka Shino. The
Hakkenshi
are clever strategists and are thought of as honorable men. I have a reputation for being none of those things. I will support whatever they decide."

Mason nodded. “While I want Wolf to watch your ass, he lost it again, and that ain't good.” He hesitated for a second. “Shit, I'm not supposed to tell you this, but I think that Wolf would if he knew how. I think that the Trust shrink at Waltham really fucked him up. Stupid shit too. Something about Keno and bein’ in love with him. I know that he don't swing that way, but he lost it when McGann got hurt and then when Keno got hurt. Before that? Fuck, he was like the iceman in a fight. So I don't know what to think. I know that he wouldn't want to tell you this, ‘cause you still ain't his favorite person. But he's smart enough to know that you're able to take care of McGann. So, while he would be willing to protect you, I think that it's better that he stay with McGann and get his head on straight. I'm willing to cover you, but I know that everyone else here can kick my ass, including Sakura, probably with his makeup brush too."

"I will think about what you have told me,” I promised gravely. “And I am honored by your offer of protection.” He looked so serious I couldn't help adding, “Because I know that all you want to watch is my ass."

He gaped at me, shocked that I had used such language, I thought. He started laughing after a moment, amused by something else besides what I had said.

Mason

I didn't know whether I should be shocked or relieved that Tamazusa had used the word “ass” with me. Seriously, that coming out of her mouth made my day.

I knew that we were in deep shit. I wasn't that stupid. The Trust held part of Nippon with the help of the Egyptians, and there were rumors that a couple more nations would be joining the party. From what that fucker Iida had said, that was something that was going to screw over all of the Dreamlands and not just Nippon.

But there were good things too. Wolf and McGann seemed to have hooked up, even if he hadn't taken the big step of moving in with her at Inumura's place. I liked that, they were both nice kids, and I thought that she could help him with his little going-bug-fuck-in-a-fight issue, along with whatever other damage that asshole had done to him. That also got Helga off his ass, because the bitch seemed absolutely terrified of him now. Tholf wasn't quite treating him like he was dynamite, but it was damned close. In their culture, being a berserker was a big thing. Me, I was waiting for the day he moved out of my room and into McGann's.

Keno and Samojirou seemed to be doing all right. I didn't know how either of them were going to handle the issue with the Trust fucking up Wolf and making him think that he was playing for their team now, at least in regards with Keno. Shit, Keno and Samojirou were so in love, they were having a hard time keeping their hands off each other. They'd figure out something to do. They both were smart guys.

And I liked it here. Granted, the beer was crap, and there were no sports teams, but the sake and having a family again made up for it. I think that Fuse got a kick out of me calling her “Mom.” I wasn't so ballsy that I called Yatsufusa “Dad,” but I was working up to it.

I really didn't want to go back to working for the Trust, and not because the assholes tried to kill me. People here were good people and not the monsters I had been told they were. They thought the Hakarl were vermin to be taken care of, just like I did. I wanted to help them, as odd as that sounded, help them in this war and with those fucking monsters. What the Trustees were trying to do needed to be stopped. Because the organization that had been created to fight monsters had turned into a monster itself. And fuck, that was what I did, what I was supposed to do: fight monsters. So I was going to fight them in any way that I could.

Keno

Mason, McGann, Wolf, and I stayed at Inumura's castle in Edo. Tamazusa didn't want us to move back to her
kuni
until the war was over. She wants us—me—to be safe in Edo.

I didn't know what I was going to do with the information that Wolf might like me more than he realized. As in “thinks that I'm an adult and wants to have sex with me” like. Now that it could happen, I wasn't interested anymore. Wolf would always be my first love, as one sided as it had been, and the man I had hoped I would share my first kiss with, my first time with, instead of Heiseg raping me. But I realized that while I loved Wolf, and still did in a way, it was a child's love or a dream. What I had with Samojirou was real. It was the love between two men. And I was the man that I was today because of Samojirou.

I thought Mason was supposed to babysit me, but I seemed to be taking care of him. I was starting to teach him how to fight with a
bokken
. That kept me busy and amused the samurai who are assigned here. I guessed that was because when I wasn't on the field with them during morning practice, I was in Sakura's female persona. I was doing that so that everyone in Nippon would forget Inuzaka Keno had ever existed. I knew that was a cowardly thing to do, but I didn't want to be him ever again. My ancestor and I had caused me more trouble and pain than I ever wanted to think about. I just wanted to be Samojirou's Sakura. Samojirou claimed that he understood the way I felt, but I knew he didn't.

Nippon was gathering their forces together, going to Kyushu to drive the Trust and the Southerners out. The fighting was going to be horrific, and I knew Samojirou would be in the middle of it. That filled me with fear, and I hated that I could not...
would
not join him on the battlefield. As much as I wanted to, I knew that should never happen. I knew I would never put down a katana again, were I to pick one up to fight. And it would not be because of my ancestor's reputation, but because I would not want to stop, because I would become a mad dog that needed to be put down. And it would break Samojirou's heart, something that I would never do again.

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...a fantastic read, sure to thrill readers of the genre.

—Literary Nymphs

This debut novel from a new author is a stunning piece of work. Intricately plotted with fascinating world building and creative characters, this story captures interest immediately and carries it through to the end.

—Rainbow Reviews

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Felicitas Ivey is the pen name of a very frazzled helpdesk drone at a Boston-area university. She's an eternal student even with a BA in anthropology and history, since free classes are part of the benefits. She's taken courses on gothic architecture, premodern Japanese literature, and witchcraft, just because they sounded like fun. She has traveled to Japan and Europe and hopes to return to both in the future.

She knits and cross-stitches avidly, much to the disgust of her cat, Smaugu, who wants her undivided attention. He's also peeved that she spends so much time writing instead of petting him. She writes urban fantasy and horror of a Lovecraftian nature, monsters beyond space and time that think that humans are the tastiest things in the multiverse.

Felicitas lives in Boston with her beloved husband, known to all as The Husband, and the aforementioned cat, whom the husband swears is a demon, even though it's his fault that they have the cat. The husband also is worried about Felicitas's anime habit, her love for J-Pop music, and her extensive collection of yaoi manga and Gundam Wing doujinshi, which has turned her library into a Very Scary Place for him.

Visit her blogs at IveysTales.livejournal.com and felicitas ivey.dreamwidth.org, and her web site at felicitasivey.com. You can e-mail her at [email protected].

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Dreamspinner Press

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www.dreamspinnerpress.com/

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Back to the Dream

Copyright (C) 2010 by Felicitas Ivey

Cover Art by Anne Cain [email protected]

Cover Design by Mara McKennen

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without the written permission of the Publisher, except where permitted by law. To request permission and all other inquiries, contact Dreamspinner Press, 4760 Preston Road, Suite 244-149, Frisco, TX 75034

www.dreamspinnerpress.com/

ISBN: 978-1-61581-620-0