Back-Up (19 page)

Looking down he turns his hand so we are palm to palm, and slowly runs him thumb across my mom’s wedding band on my right hand. His touch causes the sparks to fly through my body, and causes my logical side to scream for me to pull my hand away immediately.

I can’t.

Jack continues to play with the ring on my finger. “This looks like a wedding band.” He says, surprising me once again with his candor.

“It was my mom’s.”

Jack searches my face. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

“…Don’t worry about it.” I interrupt, smili
ng to ease his discomfort. Jack squeezes my hand affectionately.

“Let’s relax.”
He drags me over to the couch while still holding my hand. I sit next to him and consciously keep a safe distance between our bodies. I did not invite him here to worsen our complicated situation…at least I don’t think I did.  But the yearning to touch him is unbearable now that he is here. Tucking my legs under my body, clasping my hands in my lap, I practically cocoon myself on the couch to prevent any accidental or intentional contact.

Jack doesn’t seem to notice my shielding defense, and immediately makes himself at home, flipping around on the remote until he finds a Met game on TV. Side note, my dad will not be happy that Jack is a Met fan.

“The Yankees are playing Boston tonight, and it is my TV.” Reluctantly I hold my hand out, waiting for him to relinquish the remote.

“We’ll compromise. Next inning we’ll watch the bums from the Bronx.” Sneaking a sideways glance at me he says, “What? They suck.”

“Spoken like a true Met fan.”  I fold my arms to pretend to be angry, yet the look on his face causes me to laugh.

“And a Yankee hater.” He leans over and places a chaste kiss on my cheek, leaving a tingly sensation behind.

We fall into a comfortable conversation as the games move on inning by inning.  He tells me about his childhood. He wasn’t a jock and preferred school glee club and school musicals to football, plus he was smart. He admits he should have gotten his ass kicked in school.  But because he was so popular that everyone thought it was cool.

I relay stories of all the trouble Evan and I would get into and the many girlfriends
he lost because of me. He wants to know what my dad’s like, and he tells me about his parents. He talks about Lizzy and how gorgeous she is, but more importantly how smart she is. We discuss how Lori and Trey hit it off. He wondered why Trey said to say hi to her. Of course Trey hadn’t mentioned it to him but he could see them together. She was definitely his type. I laugh and admit the same.

He brings up Matt once again. I act all cool when it comes to
him but truth is he hurt me. I promised myself I would never let that happen again. I fell hard for Matt and that was why I gave him another chance. I was convinced he had matured and changed. All I admit to Jack is that Matt was a dick and he didn’t know the first thing about relationships. Surprisingly he defends Matt, and says that he doesn’t know all that much about relationships either. I guess he is right. What the hell do I know about relationships?

I confess
that I was not happy with his offer at the lunch with Dylan regarding car service. I tell him he made me feel helpless and pathetic. He is a bit amused at first, but then backs off and says it wouldn’t happen again. I then forgive him for being a jackass.

I ask him about the scar on his hand. He says when he was a kid he fell off his skateboard and landed on a broken bottle in the street. I laugh and he says he is glad his injury amuses me. I explain I had a more exciting scenario in my head where he got into a bar brawl, or punched a window in a fit of rage. Now it’s his turn to laugh.

He suddenly becomes serious and asks, “What was your mom like?”

“She was perfect.” I lean back on the sofa, closing my eyes.

He reaches over and places his hand on my knee. “I didn’t mean to upset you.” His touch affects me and I stiffen slightly.  Jack interprets my reaction as discomfort and quickly removes his hand, turning his attention back to the Met game.

“You didn’t upset me. It’s just still hard to talk about her. I miss her every damn day. She would have been so proud of me right now. She always was, but this would have really made her happy because I’m following my dream.”

He shifts slightly to face me and smiles warmly. “What did she look like?”

Returning his smile I stand and say, “Come, I’ll show you.” Jack follows me down the hall to my room. Flipping on the light, he steps in behind me and
looks around.

For a few seconds, I watch Jack as he takes in my room.

“Nice room.” He smirks. “Very girlie.”

He’s right. M
y room is a typical girlie room. I have a pretty white wrought iron headboard with floral patterns on the duvet, shams and sheets, lacy curtains, and a retro princess phone. I tried to duplicate my room at home when I was a little girl because it reminds me of my mom so much.

“Well
, I am a girl.”

Turning towards me, Jack sweeps my body with his smoky gaze. “That you are.”

Damn it! He can’t look at me like that with a bed two feet away. In an alternate universe, there is a Leila Marino who pushes a Jack Lair down on his back and has her wicked way with him over and over again.  But I want more than hot, sweaty sex with Jack. I also want to connect with him in the most intimate of ways.

All this from one look in my bedroom?

Remembering why we are in here, I walk over to a framed photo of my mom hanging on the wall. Jack follows me and leans in to closely examine the picture.

“
You are practically twins.”

“A little. She was gorgeous.”

“So are you.” We turn to face each other.

“
Thank you.”

He nods at my response. I look up at my mom’s picture again to break the connection between us. “
You haven’t met my dad. I look a little like him too. I also have my dad’s personality. Mom was such a free spirit. She was so much fun.”

“I wish I could have met her.”

“Me too. She would have liked you. Believe it or not, dropping out of law school to pursue your dream would have impressed her.”

“Really?”

“Yep. She felt you only live once. Everyone should live his or her lives without regret. I think she’s the only parent on earth that could care less how I did in school. I take that back, she did care, but if I failed a test she would take me for ice cream.” With a small smile, I remember the day my mom did just that. She dried my tears and told me it was no big deal.

Jack focuses on my mom’s picture, and then focuses on me. The seriousness in his expression has me wondering what he’s thinking.

“What?”

He shakes his head and
smiles. “Nothing. You know, I’m really glad we did this.”

“Me too.”

“I should get going, it’s late. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yep…nine
sharp
!”

Jack laughs out loud.
“You sounded just like her. That’s awesome.”

“I didn’t mean to say that out loud.”

“Don’t apologize. That was spot on. Promise me you’ll do that for Hunter.”

“What? No
way. She’s your agent.”

“Our agent.”

“Even more of a reason not to.” Jack follows me out of my room towards my apartment door.

“Do you want to take the rest of the brownies home?”

“Don’t tease me woman.”

Now it’s my turn to laugh. Taking that as a yes, I wrap the rest of the brownies for him and hand them over.

“I love you.”

I shove him towards the door and
he laughs on his way out. “Sweet dreams pretty girl.” He leans in and kisses my cheek, leaving me a quivering mess.

Quivering and clenching
.

Oh boy…I’m in deep shit

It’s just a crush, right? And because my body was denied sexual activity for so long, it took over the cruise controls of my lower half. But it’s just a crush and nothing more. That’s why I feel like I’m young and stupid and giddy. That’s the only explanation for how I act around him. I feel like I’m back in high school.

I lie in bed for hours and
I frantically try to think of a way I can ignore it. As the sunlight starts to filter through my window, I come up empty.

Chapter 14
-Jack

As I drive Hunter’s car back to the city, every street, road, and highway from Hoboken to Brooklyn goes unseen. Autopilot takes over and allows me to twist the steering wheel or accelerate and break when needed. I can handle all the mundane tasks necessary to operate a moving vehicle while completely in a trance, and I spend the entire drive replaying the evening in my mind.

I can’t quite pinpoint why I feel so uneasy and unsettled. I made peace with Leila, and I really enjoyed her company. She is easy to talk to,
and get along with. She’s caring, and also a nurturing person, not to mention gorgeous.

My
head is in chaos and I’m irritated by the time I walk into my apartment. Seeing Hunter and Amanda going at it on the couch further annoys me.

“Hey, how did it go?”

“Hi Amanda.”

She looks up and smiles.
I can see the draw for Hunter. Not only is she very pretty, she’s very shy. She’s basically Hunter’s perfect woman.

“It went well. I think we turned a corner.”
I offer no further explanation, as it wouldn’t matter anyway. Hunter thinks what Hunter thinks. Prior to heading over to Leila’s earlier, I told him that I wanted her to feel more comfortable with me, and for us to become friends.

He didn’t buy it and kept harassing me to leave Leila alone. I swore
I didn’t have a hidden agenda. Well, I lied a little. My agenda isn’t to get into her pants, as Hunter thinks. It’s just to spend time with her.

The
ir make-out session on the couch resumes and is once again grating on my nerves. “I’ll leave you kids alone.”

Normally
I would head right for the roof but I haven’t spent a lot of time up there since our party. Instead, I lock myself in my room and start pacing like a caged animal. I can’t figure out what the fuck my problem is.

It’s late,
and sleep is the last thing on my mind. The unsettled feelings I had earlier morph into complete irritation. A realization hits me full force like a tidal wave just as I grab my notebook to work on some of the songs I’ve started. I’m jealous of Hunter. I want to be with Leila at this moment on her couch kissing every inch of her.

Fuck…Fuck…F
uck
!

While still
holding my notebook, I abandon all my current projects to start a new one fueled by the thoughts that are consuming me. Like a man possessed, I frantically scribble down lyrics that pour out of me uncontrolled. My hand cramps from all the writing and my head hurts from thinking too much. I even go as far as strumming some basic chords to the words that validate my feelings.

The result is a
heart-felt ballad. I most likely will never let another person hear it because it’s way too personal, but it needed to be released from my head.

Surprisingly, even after a sleepless night filled with nothing but tortured romance crap, I’m still wired. What the fuck? I don’t
do
tortured romance crap.

I jump
into the shower to get ready for the day and the song gets stuck in my head on an endless loop. It continues to play even as I prepare my first cup of coffee.

“You ok?” Hunter
stands directly in front of me without Amanda. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts, I never even heard him approach.

I ignore his question and
ask, “Amanda’s not here?” I don’t want to get into this with him. I don’t even know what “this” is at the moment.

“Nope, she left last night.”
He replies as he grabs his breakfast of choice. Hunter helps me forget my own issues by being a romantic sap. I should bet Scott on how long it will take for those two to screw each other’s brains out. 

Hunter immediately knows what I’m thinking
when I shake my head and smirk. “Back off, I know what I’m doing.”

“Ok. I
t’s your dick. Just make sure your constant hard on doesn’t interfere with playing drums.” I laugh at the visual in my head.

“Fuck off.” He says while smiling. I’m guessing
he envisioned the same image. Even so, he becomes serious all of a sudden and asks, “What the hell were you playing your guitar all night for?”

“Just working on something.
I couldn’t sleep.”

“Just make sure your constant hard on doesn’t interfere with singing on stage.”

The dickhead is so onto me!

Fuck off.” I repeat his words. He laughs annoyingly as I flip him off.

***

Leila is already
sitting on a stool when we arrive to the studio. It’s before nine, and she looks like she’s been here a while. She’s texting someone on her phone and barely notices our entrance.

She looks adorable with her hair in a ponytail, tight Levi’s, converse sneakers, and a tiny little
Born to Run
concert shirt that hugs all her curves. She definitely wore it on purpose. Watching her for a few seconds does things to my insides.

“Good Mornin’.” 
She beams once she notices me checking her out and effectively takes my breath away.

“Hi guys. I brought coffee and donuts.” She points towards a table laid out with a mini breakfast buffet.

“Awesome.” Hunter makes a beeline to the box. He grabs one and shoves it whole into his mouth.

“Fanks, Laywa.”
Crumbs shoot like bullets directly at my head.

I glare at him and
punch his arm.

“Owf.”

Leila laughs out loud. I love the way it sounds.

“He is such a Jackass.”  I
point out while she still giggles.

“Thanks for the coffee.” Walking over to where she is sitting, I look down at her chest. “Nice shirt.”

“You like it? I can hook you up with one if you want.” She winks.

Leila winking
? Who is this girl and what has she done with the real Leila? There is no way she could feel comfortable enough to wink at me after just one night of bonding? This is a huge difference from the bundle of nerves that walked in here a few weeks ago.

I think I like it.

Jennifer strolls in like she owns the place. Leila sits up straighter on her stool making it pretty obvious she is intimidated by Jen.

“Good morning everyone.” She surveys the room. “
Ready to rehearse your asses off?” She looks like she is about to walk a runway and not to sit in a stuffy studio for the next ten hours. 

From the corner of my eye, I watch as Leila measures her up from head to toe with a very envious look in her eye. I want to shake some sense into her. Leila looks more in place with a pair of jeans and
a Springsteen t-shirt, not to mention she is striking.

Jennifer’s phone buzzes. “Don’t move.” She barks and walks out of the room to answer the call. Leila visibly relaxes
the minute she is out the door.

“Hey, she doesn’t bite.”

She looks up embarrassed and blushes. “Is it that obvious?” Her words come out in a whisper.

Leaning in close enough to practically touch her ear, I whisper back, “Yes.”

Her eyes widen, and a small gasp escapes her lips causing me to chuckle. “What?”

“She’s scary.”

“She’s harmless.” Unconsciously I rub her back to ease her discomfort. She stiffens slightly at my touch. Well maybe she is still a small bundle of nerves.

“She works for you too. Knock it off.”

“Yes, boss.” She salutes me.

I wave a finger at her and sternly command
, “I mean it.”

She looks up at me
and I freeze. Her lips are totally kissable, her eyes are wide and innocent, and her chest rises with every breath. Damn it. I really,
really
want to kiss her. Imagining the reaction I would get from Leila and Hunter is the only thing stopping me.

This is going to be a long day.

Scott appears next looking fresh as a daisy. I know that he didn’t see Patti last night so he would be in top shape for our first day of rehearsals. He can be such a nerd. 

“Yay, who brought donuts?” He
grabs one from the box as Hunter points to Leila and shoves another into his face.

“Thanks Leila
.” He answers copying Hunter. “I’m starving.”

Ugh. Except for Trey,
sometimes this crew acts like they are five.

Speaking o
f which, of course he is late. While we wait, Hunter bends to pull out a large packet of papers as well as a few CD’s from his duffle bag and hands them to Leila. At least this time he has the decency to pull the donut out of his face before he attempts to speak.

“I printed up all our lyrics as well as our sheet music for each song.
We have been working on adding your backgrounds and keyboards as well. For the next few days we will run through our library, song by song, and add your vocals.” 

Hunter hands Leila the CD’s. “These are all the songs recorded. You can take them home and listen on your spare time to become familiar with them.”

I admit that he sometimes acts like a child, but he really is a good manager. He ran this by me, and I told him it was a great idea.

Leila looks impressed. “Thanks Hunte
r. This is perfect. I really appreciate it.”

Jennifer barges back into the room and looks around like she lost something. She looks at Hunter and
commands, “Hunter, text Trey to see how far away he is.”

“I am two feet away.” Trey says from the doorway. “Calm
down. I’m on time.” He heads for his corner and promptly ignores our stares. Trey is almost half an hour late. His clock runs in half hour increments, so on his clock he is on time.

“Of course you are Mr. Taylor.”
They exchange sarcastic smiles. Watching Leila watch this exchange wide eyed is comical.

Jennifer flips her hair as she
turns and focuses on Leila.

“So Leila, I see Hunter filled you in on what we plan on accomplishing t
his week. It’s important to get you up to speed with the current Devil’s Lair library. Please be sure to listen to their CD’s as often as possible to familiarize yourself with their songs. We will start re-recording each song to include your voice, once we feel you are comfortable with your backgrounds and keyboard additions.”

Leila clears her throat.
“I am pretty familiar with most of their songs. I’ve been a fan for years. I’ll be able to record backgrounds in a few days if you want. Regarding keyboards, I’ll just need one run through to get up to speed.” She sits up even straighter and levels her gaze at Jennifer.

I’m floored.
I had no idea she was a fan. She acted star struck at her audition, but I would never have guessed she was a true fan. Hunter is beaming at Leila’s admission. He’s always been Leila’s biggest supporter…besides me, that is. Right now he couldn’t look prouder.

Jennifer on the other hand looks
skeptical. “Well, that’s good news. That will help us keep to schedule as we have a lot to do before September. We will be working in this studio until we are ready to add your vocals to our tracks. Then we will be moving to Bobby’s bigger studio in the Village.” She glances at her watch as she sits on a stool near the glass partition that separates us from the control room. “I wonder what’s keeping Dylan.”

“Oh, he said something came up.” Leila
responds. “I’m sorry I forgot to tell you. He texted me earlier to tell you to he’ll catch up with you later.” She looks around the room clearly embarrassed.

Jennifer levels her gaze on Leila. “Well then, let’s do this.”

Dylan texted Leila?

What
?

He is so smooth… I didn’t see that coming.