Bad (12 page)
Only one person deserved to hear about what she'd done and thanks to her friend's pep talk, she may just tell him.
She owed him that much after all he'd done for her.
Wyatt had made her feel alive for the first time in years. He'd broken through her barriers and made her
feel
. In a way she'd never thought she could again.
She loved him. And he'd been the one to open her up to the possibility of loving again.
Yeah, she owed him.
Telling him the truth would be the least she could do after the way she'd treated him. And then she could leave, knowing she'd done her best to make things right despite doing everything so wrong.
"Thanks, sweetie, you're the best." Ashlin hugged Miranda.
"And don't you forget it." Miranda dabbed at the corners of her eyes with her pinkies. "Now go sort things out with your hot man."
Ashlin didn't need to be told twice.
Wyatt stayed true to his word. He stuck around for an hour at the cocktail party, with Zane, Steele and Kurt hovering over him.
They'd plied him with sodas between the occasional beer, monitoring his alcohol intake like the frigging police. They'd made sure he ate his body weight in smoked chicken wings and curly fries. They'd told tall tales to make him laugh. They'd miraculously stayed clear of the beautiful women buzzing around. Even Zane, who couldn't resist the occasional glance in Chantal's direction, stuck to his side.
Wyatt should've felt smothered. He didn't. For a guy who didn't believe in emotional attachments he’d sure turned into a sentimental schmuck.
He appreciated the effort his brothers had gone to in getting him to man up. If they hadn’t, he'd still be moping around his hotel suite. At least this way, he could ditch them with a clear conscience and go finish up some work before he wrapped up this job tomorrow.
"Thanks guys, but I'm outta here." He tapped his watch. "I've hung around for sixty minutes on the dot and now I've got some work I want to finish."
Kurt slugged him on the arm. "You're a sad case."
"But we kinda like you anyway." Steele punched his other arm. "If anyone can understand the urge to finish off business before midnight, I do, so you're off the hook."
Zane nodded. "But if you need us, we're here for the next few hours, okay?"
"Thanks," Wyatt said, grateful for his brothers and the way they’d rallied around him when he’d needed them most. "For everything."
Kurt rolled his eyes. "Fuck, let him go before he drags us all down with the mushy shit."
They laughed and as Wyatt walked away he felt lighter than he had in years.
He'd closed himself off from any kind of in-depth human contact for a long time and letting his brothers in made him feel whole.
While he didn't need a mood spoiler right now, he couldn't help but wonder if there was hope for his father. If Kurt could change, maybe Christopher could too?
He couldn't see it happening but considering the lengths Zane had gone to, travelling to the US to meet the family he'd never known, maybe Wyatt could make an overture toward his father? Pave the way for Zane and Steele?
His father was a cocky, blustering bastard, but maybe he was all front? Kurt had a similar brash personality and maybe that's why they'd gotten on so well, while Wyatt had deliberately erected barriers because he felt inferior somehow?
Whatever made his father behave like a callous prick, now wasn't the time. He'd consider reaching out to Christopher when he felt less vulnerable. Being metaphorically kicked in the balls by the woman he loved wasn't conducive to building emotional bridges with his aloof father.
Thankfully, the guys hadn't brought up the subject of Ashlin again. Either Chantal had warned Zane not to mention it, and he'd told Steele and Kurt, or his brothers had bought his lie about the freelance job falling through and accepted his short-term fling excuse.
Regardless, he needed to get this work done and put Bombshells, and Ashlin, behind him.
However, that seemed impossible as he entered Chantal's office and came face to face with the woman he couldn’t forget no matter how hard he tried.
"What the hell are you doing here?" He inadvertently slammed the door, shock making his hand shake as he rubbed it over his face. Maybe he hadn't sobered up as much as he'd thought and he'd conjured her up out of thin air. "I thought you left for London last week?"
She shook her head, her glorious red hair tumbling over her shoulders and making his fingers itch to touch it. "I've been around, avoiding you."
Bile rose in his throat and he swallowed it. What had he done wrong for her to hate him this much? Love really was for suckers.
"So what's this? An aberration?" He sneered, anger making his gut clench. "Because I've got work to do and I'd appreciate you leaving me the hell alone so I can get on with it."
She blinked rapidly, as if trying to stave off the animosity that rolled off him in waves. "Not before I tell you the truth."
"Didn't you do that already?" He snapped his fingers. "About how you used me to get off, then lied about loving me, and accepted a job overseas without considering a long distance relationship?" He pretended to stagger a little. "The truth hurts, babe, but I'm over it. Over you." He spat the last two words, injecting enough venom to make her flinch.
She nodded, slowly, like her neck hurt. "I'm glad, because it'll make this easier."
She perched on the edge of his desk, oblivious when she nudged several USBs and they tumbled to the floor. "I lied to you. Pushed you away deliberately. Because you're too good for me and ultimately that would've ended things between us."
"What the fuck?" Incredulous, he gaped, before snapping his jaw shut. "I'm too
good
for you? Are you for real?"
"Let me explain." She took a deep breath and he silently cursed himself for staring at her boobs and remembering how they felt in his hands.
"I'm fickle. I ran away from my family in Ireland when I was eighteen and they basically disowned me. They wanted me to study teaching at university, I wanted to dance."
So far she hadn't told him anything he didn't already know and he was tempted to turn around and head out the door without looking back.
"So I went to London, met Dougal, fell in love," she huffed out a long breath, "and got pregnant."
That captured his attention. "You had a kid?"
Her mouth compressed with sorrow. "I had an abortion."
Shit. She'd gone through a lot as a teen.
"Not because I was too young, but because it would've interfered with my dreams of being a top dancer. Plus having an illegitimate child would've proved my family right, that I wasn't prepared to take on the world." She said it defiantly, like she expected him to judge her, but he remained silent. "According to Dougal, I was a selfish, heartless bitch and he left me."
She pressed her fingers into her eyes before lowering them. "The irony was, I had complications that mucked me up pretty bad internally and the time I had off ensured I missed out on my dream job as a dancer. So I danced small parts through Europe, ended up in Paris, fell in love with burlesque and became a choreographer instead."
Wyatt could understand why she had self-esteem issues, believing he was better than her, but it still didn't explain the rest. "Are you expecting me to judge you? Is that why you said all that bullshit about me being too good for you?"
Her eyebrows rose, as she absentmindedly wrung her hands. "You seriously don't think I'm selfish for what I did?"
He shrugged. "You were young. Naive. And you did what was right for you at the time. No one has the right to judge you on a decision you made back then."
That's when it hit him, the reason for her inability to achieve physical satisfaction. "Is that why you couldn't come all these years? You've been beating yourself up over it, because you feel guilty and undeserving?"
She bit her bottom lip, nodded. "I figured that out after the last time we…when you said you loved me…guess I felt deserving in that moment and I let myself go…"
He wanted to go to her then. Wanted to bundle her into his arms and soothe her and make it all better. But he'd already hung himself out to dry once with her and he'd be damned if he did it again.
"Why didn't you tell me all this then?"
"Because I did what I do best, running away." Her hands finally stilled, clasped in front of her. "And I didn't want you trying to talk me out of leaving."
"I wouldn't do that," he said, disgusted that she thought so little of him despite her heartfelt confession. "For someone you think is better than you, you sure don't know me at all."
Her head cocked to the side. "I’m confused."
She wasn’t the only one.
"I'm a freelancer. I move around the world for work. It's what I do." He crossed the room to Chantal's desk and spun the small globe perched beside her PC. "I could've accepted more jobs in London. We could've tried long distance." He pinned her with an accusatory glare that he hoped encapsulated the antagonism reverberating through his body. "But you gave up on us."
Her mouth opened. Closed. Before she wrapped her arms around her middle. "You live in a small town. You love it there. It's your home. For me, being stuck in a small town is my biggest nightmare. I ran away from that life because it breeds resentment and boredom in a relationship."
She laughed, a bitter, hysterical sound devoid of amusement. "My parents were desperately unhappy, both having affairs while maintaining the facade of a perfect marriage. It was a joke. And who knows, if I was confined to that kind of life, I might end up a cheater too."
Okay, so there was more to Ashlin than the guilt over the abortion. Man, and he thought he had a lot of emotional fallout from his folks.
"Is there anything else?" He crossed the office and stood in front of her, using all his willpower to keep his arms by his sides and not reach for her. "Because so far you've lied to me about not loving me, used a job in London, an abortion that happened a lifetime ago, small town life, and your parents' bogus marriage as excuses to push me away."
He paused, pretending to think. "And let's not forget that crap about me being too good for you. Because babe? From where I'm standing, we've got it made. We love each other. We're honest with each other. And we're willing to compromise."
He smiled at her gob-smacked expression. "Well, one of us is willing to compromise. Don’t you get it? I don't have to live in New Orleans. I chose small town life because I'm a hermit. I shut myself off from everyone emotionally because it was easier that way. But the way you make me feel?"
He took a risk in snagging her hand and pressing it against his heart. "I love you. I'll always love you. And I don't care where my home is, as long as it's with you."
She started crying. Huge, ugly sobs that made her shake and he quickly bundled her into his arms.
He held her: stroked her back, smoothed her hair, whispered how much he loved her and eventually the tears stopped. When she eased back, her eyes resembled pandas’, her lipstick had smudged and her skin was blotchy. He'd still never seen anything so beautiful.
"So we're good?" He ran his thumb along her jaw.
Her lower lip wobbled. "Define good."
"We're working in London for the foreseeable future. You love me. And you want to be with me forever."
Her mouth eased into a breathtaking smile. "That's not good. That's fan-freaking-tastic."
She cupped his face, her joy mirroring his. "I love you and I always will," she said, a second before kissing him into oblivion.
When they finally came up for air, Wyatt grinned. "You know we'll need to rent a massive house so my dorky brothers and your gorgeous friends can visit?"
Ashlin smiled. "You think they'll come all the way to London?"
"Hell, Zane and Steele already traveled here from Australia, and Kurt is finally acknowledging he has siblings, so yeah, they'll come."
Ashlin nodded, thoughtful. "Chantal's plastered to Zane these days and something tells me Miranda and Steele may not be far behind."
"Miranda and Steele?" From what he'd seen, they'd be the least likely couple imaginable. His sedate, reserved brother and the fiery, bold brunette? Not a chance in hell. "Care to take a bet on them getting it on?"
Ashlin screwed up her nose. "No bet." Her smile turned crafty. "But I'll bet on something else."
"What?"
"You and me getting it on for a long time to come." Grabbing his hand, she tugged him toward the door, where she flicked the lock. "Starting now…"
Have you read the Bombshells series?
Out now, available from all retailers.
BEFORE
(prequel, FREE!)
BAD
BEG (Steele’s story, releasing 2015)
BURN (Kurt’s story, releasing early 2016)
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Have you read
BOLD
, introducing the sexy Harrison brothers?
Here’s a snippet:
CHAPTER ONE
“Marriage is for suckers.” Chantal Kramer raised her glass to the hottest guy she’d had the pleasure of drinking with in a long time. A sexy Aussie footballer that had landed in Vegas yesterday and had been a fellow witness at her BFF’s wedding today. “An outdated institution for romantic schmucks hell-bent on ruining their lives.”