Bad as in Good (18 page)

“What were you doing there, Louis?”

“She was texting me.”

“And?”

He took another deep breath and tied his dreads up. We were both hot, and I wasn't letting up. “Ever since I left, she's been texting me, callin' me. Talkin' 'bout how she wants me back. I've been ignoring her. A few nights ago, she started talkin' 'bout committing suicide. I called her back, but she never responded. I got a lil' worried.”

“Well, aren't you a good boyfriend, huh?”

“I was never really her boyfriend, Erin. C'mon, I'm sorry you had to be in the middle of all that. I didn't know if she was serious. I had to be sure.”

“Why didn't you tell me you knew her? You were here when she drug her triflin' ass in here one night.”

“I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what you'd think.” I shook my head and poured another glass of wine. “I know you don't believe me, but I'm being honest.”

I took a deep breath and then sipped my wine. Louis pulled out his phone and handed it to me. “What am I supposed to do with this?”

“I can show you the texts she sent me; I can prove to you that things were over with us before we started dating. I didn't wanna
go into all that at the house. As you can see, Teona knows how to put up a big front. I ain't want you in the middle of all that. But I can prove to you what's been goin' on. I can show you the emails, text messages, whatever you need to see so you can trust me. I love you, Erin. I'm not tryna let a girl like Teona stand between you and me. If you wanna call her over, I can prove it to you that way, too.”

“Why didn't you say anything while we were there? If you're willing to confront her now, why weren't you willin' to confront her then?”

“I was blindsided. I wasn't expectin' you there. And then you stopped talkin' to me, avoiding me. Babe, I've been dying without you. You gotta let me prove it to you.”

I stared at Louis and questioned his motives. The last person I expected any of this from was Louis. I hated it. I wanted him to prove it to me. I wanted to believe in the man I considered loving back. I didn't appreciate a little girl claiming my man in front of me while my man did nothing. “I didn't expect this from you, Louis.”

There was a knock at my door. I wasn't mentally prepared to deal with anyone's nonsense. I walked past Louis and opened the door. When Teona's overly made-up face stared back at me, I wanted to the slam the door shut in her face. But I realized that this was my chance to get real answers. She wore a sheer blouse that was tied above her navel and liquid tights. Her hair was gelled back, and she wore more makeup than a clown college.

She said, “We need to talk, Erin.”

I let her in. When Teona saw Louis, she chuckled and dropped her purse on my kitchen table.

I closed the door behind me and stared at Louis. “Here's your chance.”

Louis wiped his face and rubbed the back of his neck. “You need to stop following me, Teona.”

Teona rolled her eyes. “Boy, ain't nobody followin' you. I came here to talk to Erin, and here you are.”

“You know what you're doin', Teona. Stop.”

“Why are you talkin' to me like this, Louis? You're actin' like you haven't been contactin' me, too.”

“Are you serious? You know we're not together. Stop blowin' me up and puttin' me through this high school nonsense.”

“You told me you loved me. What happened to all that?”

Louis looked at me and back at Teona. “Teona, you fucked like four dudes when we were together. I left. You gotta let that shit go.”

“Why? For
her?”
She pointed at me without looking at me. “You wanna let what we had go for
her?
It wasn't that long ago you were singin' a whole different tune. You're the one playin' games.”

“Teona, I'm a grown-ass man. You lied about your age; you lied about how many men you slept wit'; you've been lying since I met you. I love Erin. I don't love you. I need you to let me go, so I can move on wit' my life.”

“Grown-ass man? Louis, you were chasin' after me for months, actin' like a sad puppy when I ain't return yo' calls. All of a sudden, you're a grown-ass man in love with Erin?” She scoffed and put her hands on her hips. “You pick up a rebound, an' I'm supposed to believe you really have somethin' special? Puh-lease, Louis. I bet yo' top lip still smells like my pussy.”

“Teona!” Louis snapped. I pulled in my lips and shook my head. Louis, sensing my frustration, took in a hard breath. “I'm done. You need to go with all this bull.”

Teona stood there. She looked down at her platform pumps and up at Louis. “Fine.” She turned around and glowered at me. “You can have him.”

She grabbed her purse and walked out my door, slammin' it shut behind her. Louis sighed and smiled. “See.”

“See what?” I scratched the back of my neck. The relationship between Teona and Louis was unfolding, and I didn't like what I saw. She was more than a fling. She was someone he had possession of. At one point, he was her man. I realized that I didn't know the man he was. I was the rebound for one of
Teona's
men; I didn't like the feeling. Licking my lips, I said, “You need to go, Louis.”

“Erin, what else do you want me to do?”

“Did you love her?”

Louis swallowed the lump of air in his throat. He took a step back and quickly answered. “Why would you ask me somethin' like that? I'm tryna be wit' you, but you keep bringin' her up like she's a factor in our relationship. I love you, not her.”

“I want you to leave.”

“Why? I did what you asked!”

“I ask you questions about her, and you dance around them like you're hiding things. I'm through asking unanswered questions. I didn't ask you to resolve your relationship between you and your ex-girlfriend in my apartment. You even talk different when you're around her. You're another person, and…I don't wanna be your rebound.”

“You're not my rebound. What I feel for you is genuine. Teona was…nothin'.”

“She must have been somethin' if you're banging on Loraine's door worried about her. Louis, you need to go home and resolve some unfinished business. The way you looked at her…” I shook my head as I remembered the passion they shared in my kitchen. I felt like a dirty voyeur watching them have it out in front of me in the raw. “You need to go home, right now.”

“Erin, what else do you want me to do to prove to you that what
I had wit' Teona was a thing to do, nothin' special? What we have is special, Erin. Can we—?”

“Louis, I'm not gettin' into this. Can you respect my feelings enough to leave and let me sort things out?”

He moved closer to me, but I moved back. I pointed at my door and waited for him to leave. Realizing that I wasn't letting up, he nodded and walked to the door. “Call me later?”

“Go, Louis.”

He walked out quietly, his silence begging me for a second chance. I disregarded his plea and locked the door behind him. Standing at the door for a while, I pulled out my vibrating phone. When Tariq's name flashed across, I sent him to voicemail and headed for bed.

•  •  •

I finally called Loraine. When she told me that Teona went back to their mother's house, I realized it was safe for me to see Loraine and get some things off my chest. Tomorrow was her off day, and she'd be willing to spend the night dishing. When I got there, twenty minutes after she cursed me out for ignoring her for the past few days, she was more than willing to dish.

“I can't believe she came over. What was she thinkin'?”

“She was thinkin' she had my man.”

We both chuckled at the idea of an immature girl taking any man from me. I left the wine at home and brought over a bottle of Ciroc for our late-night gab session. “I thought you were gonna whoop her butt at my house the other day.”

“I was. You kept holdin' me back.”

Loraine laughed. “I'm glad I did then.” We traded shots of vodka as I tried not to think about Louis. Loraine wasn't having that, though. “You need to give Louis a chance.”

I wrenched Loraine's glass from her hand and slammed it down on her coffee table. “You must've had too much to drink.”

Loraine picked her glass back up and shook her head. “I'm serious. I know how bad it looked, but he cursed Teona out after you left.”

“Is that right? What did he say?”

“It was obvious he was tryna get rid of her. He cursed her out for blowin' his phone up, and she begged him to take her back. Girl, it was a sight.”

“I dunno if I can be with a man who had sex wit' your sister. How would you feel if she had sex with Lorenz?”

Loraine cringed. “Don't even get that image in my head. Listen, I know how bad it sounds, but he was agitated over it all. You could tell he was torn up after you left. He wanted to run after you, but Teona kept gettin' in his face.”

“Why couldn't he shut her down when it was happenin'?”

“Did you see how that girl was actin'? He was probably embarrassed. I would be. I can understand you being mad, but Louis genuinely cares for you. Whateva he and my sister had, it wasn't anything.”

“You didn't see how he acted when they were together. When he's with me, he's a gentleman, sweet and earnest. With her, he's passionate, gritty and raw. She brings something else out of him, and I don't think I like what I saw. I already get gritty and raw from Tariq.”

“However he acts, I'm sure he's no Tariq.”

“What do you think I should do?”

“You can let Louis suffer for like another day or two, but let it go. He really cares about you.”

I took another shot and reluctantly agreed. “Okay.”

“Look on the bright side.”

“And what side is that?”

“At least you get some awesome make-up sex out of this.”

“I better.” We laughed as I fantasized about the make-up sex Louis would have planned for me. Once the liquor began to kick in, I decided to switch gears. “How have you been since that day?”

Loraine shrugged her shoulders. “I've been fine, I guess.”

“Have you spoken to her?”

“Nope. She's with who she needs to be with right now, my mama. There's nothing for us to discuss right now.”

“Have you spoken to Lorenz since?”

Loraine screwed the top off the Ciroc and quickly poured another glass. “Why would I speak to him?” She gulped down her glass and continued. “I mean, he came by the next day to check on the status of Teona.”

“How was that? Teona was gone at that point, right?”

“Yep. I still let him in, although my better judgment told me to let his bastard ass stay outside.”

“You didn't kill him and bury the body somewhere, did you?”

Loraine's initial hesitation worried me. Her eyes were vacant and disturbed, but then she smiled. “No, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't contemplate that before.”

“What did you guys discuss? The tension between you two was crazy. I can only imagine how crazy you two get when your mother isn't there to mediate.”

“It can get pretty crazy, but that's how it goes with us. He gets under my skin. Every time I see him, all that anger resurfaces, and I have to hold myself back from putting my hands on him.” Loraine sipped on her vodka. “We didn't discuss anything new. I cursed him out for being an asshole, and he defended himself. Eventually, we couldn't stand to be around each other for much longer.”

“When did he leave?”

“You're sure asking a lot of questions,” she barked.

I paused in confusion. “What do you mean? I'm tryna keep the conversation going. I can't ask questions?”

“He left when he left. It's not that serious.”

Loraine's defensiveness clued me into the reality that she wasn't telling me everything about her and Lorenz's encounter the other day. I opened my mouth to say something and stopped. When I noticed the gold condom wrapper hiding underneath her loveseat, I chuckled. “What happened with you two, Loraine? Be honest.”

Loraine poured another glass and sighed. It looked like she wanted to lie again, but she caught a glimpse of her poorly hidden condom wrapper as well. “You're right. We do have a lot of tension between us. And without my mother to mediate, we go all in. There we were, having it out. I seriously wanted to punch that fool in his face. One minute I hated him, and the next minute I was on my back remembering all the reasons why I loved him.” Loraine gulped down her vodka again and took a deep breath. “It was so good, too.”

I wanted to be angry with her for backsliding, but I didn't see the point. She'd been lonely and yearning for a man's attention. With all that was happening in her life, she was owed a little
ex-sex.
“I can't even be mad at you.”

Loraine cocked her head back. “I'm surprised. I was afraid I'd get it worse from you.”

“Who am I to judge? I was sleepin' around wit' a married man. All you did was have sex with a single man.”

“A single man that put me through hell.”

“Do you miss him?”

Loraine paused and stared at her wall. She twirled her dreads as she breathed steadily. She opened her mouth to speak and shook her head. “I miss what we had. I sometimes wonder if it was my fault. I cheated on him before we got married. I didn't appreciate
him. When we got married, things changed. He wasn't as sweet as he once was. He stopped opening doors for me, taking me out, and buying me flowers. Soon, I felt underappreciated. Instead of fighting to fix things, I nagged him. The more I nagged, the less he did. Then one day, I woke up and the roles were reversed. I tried my hardest to give my all to a relationship that seemed to have run its course.” She took a sip of her alcohol. “I was working on us while he worked on other women. He lied, cheated, and abused the love I gave him. And a part of me didn't try to fix things because I felt like I deserved it for doing it to him first. I could've said something, but I felt that he'd know I cheated or worse. It turned out he already knew and was waiting on me to tell him only for him to finally get up and leave.”