Bad Boy - A Stepbrother Romance (55 page)

2 years ago

Chicago is a big fucking city, bigger than any of the ones I’ve lived in before. I can’t help but feel intimidated when I arrive, but the excitement of attending the Culinary Institute takes over. I feel jittery, like I have butterflies in my stomach as I explore the campus.

Everyone’s nice, which is a little shocking. Sure, there’s definitely some competitiveness between the students, as I’ve learned so far in the few weeks I’ve spent in school. I’m still trying to learn the ropes, but I can see it’s going to be a battle of the best.

I’ve made a few friends that have managed to ease the homesickness I’ve been feeling. Or maybe I should just call it the Tessa sickness, as that’s basically what it is.

I wasn’t supposed to miss her. I wasn’t supposed to even think about her, because I’ve known she’s totally off limits from the very start.

Yet my stepsister claims my mind night and day, just like I claimed her mouth on the night before I left.

That fucking kiss never should’ve happened…but I can’t bring myself to regret it. It felt so fucking good to finally feel her plump lips against mine, to have her bending her body, melting into my own.

I never should’ve left the room, because she was asleep when I came back, and I didn’t have it in me to wake her up. It’s probably best that way, that we ended our relationship on a high. Tessa’s a gorgeous girl, and I’m sure a guy will come along eventually who will tell her as much.

She doesn’t need me.

I try to convince myself I believe those words, but the truth is, my mind is filled with Tessa every single moment of every single day. Whether I’m cooking, studying or out drinking, her name is a whisper on my lips, the phantom touch of our kiss still present on my mouth.

That night, I decide to go out to a campus party. It’s supposed to be fun, right? And I should probably hang out with my classmates more, bond a little. I’m sure I’m not the only one hung up on a girl.

I might be the only one having trouble sleeping because of my stepsister, though.

I get ready that night, and for once, I decide not to go for my gothic/emo look. I leave the eyeliner at home and decide to get an impromptu haircut. The woman almost has a heart attack when she sees my hair, saying it’s way too long for me. She ends up cutting it in a style I actually like, so I tip her on my way out.

I’m thankful I have the opportunity for small luxuries like tips and haircuts. It’s all thanks to my scholarship, which I won after competing in a contest for the best beef bourguignon recipe. My family didn’t really know about my culinary ambitions, so it may have come as a surprise when I admitted I wanted to be a chef. Props to my dad and his wife for taking it as well.

And a shame I didn’t get to tell Tessa…the girl I left back at home without so much as a goodbye.

But what else was I supposed to do? I was already totally hung up on her, and I knew I would want to call her mine if we interacted more. So I kept my distance…until that goddamned party.

Travis’ face flashes in my mind and my fists tighten. I’m ready to smash his teeth out this time around, but I know he won’t come near her again. He’s too fucking terrified, and it’s good that way. Means Tessa will stay safe.

Still doesn’t ease the pain in my chest, knowing she’s so far away from me.

I get ready for the party, dressing casually in some jeans and a tee with a leather jacket on top. I head to the location, holding a piece of paper in my sweaty hands with the writing all smudged. Turns out I don’t even need it, though, because the loud music is enough for me to locate the party.

I follow the slew of people going inside the house and end up seeing a guy I recognize from one of my classes. He waves me over with a grin, and I approach him somewhat nervously. He’s a huge dude, tall and broad shouldered, making me feel tiny. Not something I’m really a fan of.

But his laughter is infectious as he slaps me on the back.

“Adam, man, I’m so glad you made it,” he says, and he does sound happy.

“Wouldn’t miss it,” I say with a nervous smile.

“Well, you’ve been missing a whole lotta stuff sulking in your room,” Alec nudges me and cackles, which makes me laugh as well. Guess he’s right. I’ve been too hung up on Tessa, locking myself inside my room instead of socializing with new people.

I’m sure she’s forgotten me by now, anyway. It’s been weeks.

“Yeah, guess I’ve been a bit of a hermit,” I admit.

“Not too late, man,” Alec says with a hearty laugh, motioning towards the house where the party is happening. “Want to head inside? I hear they have a keg or two in there, should be fun.”

“Yeah,” I reply with a nod, trying to sound excited. “Let’s go in there.”

Alec high fives me and we head inside the house, the music so loud it’s thumping in my whole body as soon as we enter. The walls are shaking, and it’s totally dark inside. And then a small light comes on, illuminating a table.

A table with a naked girl lying on it, all sharp angles and long black hair.

Fuck me, is this for real?

“Fuck me, is this for real?” Alec asks out loud, repeating the question I’ve just asked myself in my head. We look at each other in total shock, then back at the girl on the table. There’s loads of people around her, and she has something on her body… small rolls.

“It’s sushi,” I realize. “They’re gonna eat it off her…I saw it in err…this movie I saw the other week.”

“I’m sure it was the height of foreign cinema,” Alec taunts me, and we flash each other nervous smiles. We head towards the table with the girl. She’s lying totally still, the music booming around us. Our eyes lock in the darkness and she gives me an inviting smile.

“Don’t be shy, darling,” she says in a raspy voice that screams ‘fuck me, right here in front of everyone’. I don’t need to be told twice, for one second actually forgetting about my struggles.

I approach the table and someone hands me a pair of chopsticks. I pick up a piece of sushi from the girl’s body and she grins wide as I take the one directly from her nipple. She’s still smiling as I put it in my mouth, devouring the delicious raw salmon.

“Good?” the girl asks me with a smirk.

“Delicious,” I reply with a wicked smile of my own.

***

Hours later, Alec and the girl, whom I now know to be called Bex, walk me back to my dorm room. I’m pretty much hammered, cursing out loud as I stammer on our way back home.

They’re laughing their heads off at my antics, and I’m pretty sure I’m going to have a smashing headache tomorrow. We chat about this and that, but every time they ask me about home, I refuse to talk about it and swiftly change the topic.

“You know what I think, Alec?” Bex asks in her low, throaty voice. “I think our Adam has a girl back home, and he’s totally hung up on her.”

I shoot Bex an evil look. How could she get it so spot on? She’s only known me for a couple of hours. It must be really fucking obvious, then.

“Yep, totally got it right,” she says with a smirk, shaking her long black locks. “You’re so smitten. It’s obvious from a mile away.”

The same could be said about Alec, who’s currently eyeing Bex up with dreamy eyes, but I’m not about to say anything. Let them sort it out by themselves.

As always, I steer the conversation in a different direction as we drop my friend off at his dorm. Bex says she’s in the same one as me, so we continue walking alone towards my building, me, still deep in thought, and her, thoughtfully quiet.

“So, who is she, then?” she finally asks, her eyes sparkling with curiosity. “This mystery girl who’s got you so hung up.”

“She...” I start, and then shake my head in frustration. I can’t very well tell her, can I? She’d think me a total freak if she knew Tessa and I were related. “Never mind.”

“Must be someone you shouldn’t like then,” she figures it out immediately, and I know as I shoot her a glance that I may as well as have admitted it myself. “Knew it.”

“None of your business,” I say tiredly, the alcohol finally working its way out of my body. I’m not drunk anymore, but not totally sober, either. I am, however, thinking about Tessa again.

“I could make it better,” Bex says so quietly I have to look up to make sure I’ve heard her right. We’re right outside our dorm, and she’s stopped to lean against a wall. An image of her sweet, hard nipple flashes in my memory and I can’t say I’m totally opposed to the idea.

“I can’t,” I finally mutter.

“I get it,” Bex shrugs. “You’re thinking about her. Thinking you’d be betraying her. But I guess you’re not doing the long distance thing?”

I shake my head pathetically.

“Then what’s the harm in having a little fun?” Bex purrs, coming closer to me and grabbing my tee. I have a feeling she’s wanted to do this for the whole night, and I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t had some ideas about it myself. She’s not Tessa, but she is a good distraction indeed.

“I won’t tell anyone, Adam. Let your princess wait in her castle for a while longer.”

And she kisses me, hard and demanding, without a doubt making me know what she wants us to do next. And I let her, melting into the kiss and claiming my mouth with hers until she’s a whimpering mess. I take hold of her wrists and pull her in closer, demanding every sliver of her attention, every inch of her skin pressed against mine.

“Yeah, Adam,” she moans in my ear, and I can feel my cock twitching. I haven’t had sex in weeks…I’m fucking dying for it. But Tessa’s name is on my lips at all times, and I have to make myself swallow it and not call Bex by it. “Let’s go upstairs…let’s fuck, please. Fuck me, Adam.”

And I take her upstairs and fuck her brains out.

***

Bex is asleep next to me in the tiny bed. Thank god my roommate was a no-show tonight, otherwise he’d have to deal with some pretty nasty moaning from her. I can’t say I didn’t enjoy the sex, but it’s made me feel guilty as fuck.

While Bex is snoring softly, my mind twists over what I’ve done. I can’t help but feel like I’ve betrayed Tessa. My sweet Tessa…if only it were her next to me instead.

And I think of the way I left, the moment when I tucked her in and decided it was best if we didn’t say our goodbyes. I left her in her bedroom, leaving a chaste kiss on her cheek before I left, even though my body screamed for me to do more. And I knew I was going to fucking regret that decision.

I realize with a start I’ve basically walked out on her.

I did the same thing to Tessa Silver that my mom did to my dad and me. Just left her in the dust, like she was worth nothing at all.

I come to the realization with a heavy thud as my heart hits rock bottom. I really fucked up…but now it’s too fucking late, isn’t it? I slept with another girl, I’ve left for college. I’ve started a new life for myself, and I’ve just proven I’m just as fucked up as my mom, who left us without a care in the world.

The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. I guess I’m finally starting to get that saying.

I get ready for a long, sleepless night, with Bex wrapped around me like a snake. It feels good, but all the warmth in the world won’t make my heart feel less cold now.

Like mother, like son, my mind reminds me viciously, and I wince as I realize the voice inside my head is totally right. Poor Tessa.

What the fuck have I done?

After stomping out of that restaurant, I don’t feel bad at all. In fact, I feel more confident than I have for fucking years. So the first thing I do after bailing on that place is pick another place where I can get some food, because I’m starving. I remember a gourmet burger place just down the street from where my mom and Adam’s dad live, and my heart skips a beat.

My mom. The one person who I’ve fucked up with the most. I’ve told her I’m back in town, even had a few strained phone calls with her, but I haven’t dared to go see her. I have a sudden desire to be wrapped up in my mom’s arms, to be told everything’s going to be okay by the person I trust most in the world.

On a whim, I decide to call a cab and give the driver my mom’s address. The sooner I deal with this situation, the better – and since I’m feeling confident for once in my sorry life, I might as well deal with it now.

The cab driver wolf whistles at me as I get in the car, and it’s only then that I remember my ridiculous outfit. Giving him a nervous smile, I recite my childhood address, forever burned into my memory, and in moments, we’ve stopped in front of the house.

Too fucking soon.

It’s like my mom has a radar for me, because as soon as I climb out of the car, she’s already opened the door and is standing on the porch, waving me over like a crazy person.

“Hey, mom,” I say awkwardly as I approach her, but she doesn’t reply with a single word. Instead, she wraps me up in a huge hug.

I inhale the scent of her perfume that I’ve grown up with; powdery roses. Sweet and so, so comforting. I let her hold me, her thick cardigan acting like a security blanket for several long moments. I fight the tears in my eyes as I realize I’ve been pushing my mother away for too long. I hope I still have a chance with her.

Finally, we break apart and I look at her eyes sheepishly.

“Thought we could get a burger at the place down the street,” I say softly, and she nods like it’s a done deal.

“Will you say hello to James first?” she asks hopefully, and I nod, even though I’m not looking forward to seeing Adam’s dad.

But as soon as he comes to the doorstep, I change my mind. James has been nothing but nice and kind to me for all these years. He’s wiped my tears, clapped at my graduation ceremony, and proudly showed everyone my fashion spreads in magazines. He’s the dad I thought I’d never have.

“Hello, pumpkin,” he says in that voice I’ve come to love over the years. He pulls me into a tight hug, no questions asked. I’m grateful to have him as family.

“James, I’m taking mom for a burger down the street,” I say, hoping he won’t mind. “Mind if we catch up another day?”

“Not at all,” he says with a wide smile. “You ladies have a great meal.”

And so it is I find myself walking to a burger place at ten P.M. at night with my mother, wearing a ridiculous sequin dress and tottering along in sky-high heels.

***

“So tell me what’s on your mind, sweetheart.”

Mom gets straight to the point as we wait for our juicy burgers. My mouth is watering at the mere scent of this place, delicious meat roasting, and oil bubbling as they fry the potatoes. I’ve ordered a Brie burger with mushrooms and a special sauce, and I’m pretty excited about it.

I sigh heavily, realizing my mom won’t let me get away with it this time around. She hasn’t brought up my stay at the hospital, but she has wondered out loud about my health. I’ve assured her I’m fine, and I think she believes me. I know I look better, and my attitude has changed in the past hour, too.

“I’m going to come right out and say it,” I say, and my mom nods encouragingly. I look at her, fidgeting with a paper napkin on the table. I really, really can’t bring myself to say it, though, so I take the long way to get to the subject.

“When I got released from the hospital, I went to Adam’s,” I say quietly, even though I know mom already knows this. Adam must’ve called her pretty soon after I arrived, and I’m no longer angry about that. My mom deserved to know I was all right.

She’s nodding now, encouraging me to go on.

“I didn’t know what else to do, it seemed like the only option. I know we haven’t seen each other in years, mom, but we really used to be quite good friends…even though we fought a lot.”

“I remember it all, honey,” she says simply.

“Well…I had a pretty big crush on Adam when we were younger,” I admit, looking at my mom and feeling like a scaredy cat. She has a totally stoic expression on her face, though, and doesn’t react at all.

Who knew mom had such a good poker face?

“And how do you feel about him now?” she asks, not revealing any emotions whatsoever.

“Um,” I say, struggling to come up with the right words. Just then, I realize how I actually, truthfully feel about Adam. And it really fucking scares me.

“I love him,” I finally blurt out, and it’s like a dam has been opened and the words are just spilling out of my mouth. “I really, really love him, mom…”

She’s still got that poker face going, but slowly, it fades into a soft smile. She pats my hand on the table just as our food is delivered, and we’re left staring at each other over the two juiciest burgers I’ve ever seen in my life.

“Let’s eat, honey,” she says calmly, and I nearly drop a fork on the floor.

Let’s fucking eat?! I’m losing my freaking mind over here!

“Mom, I can’t eat now,” I whine. “You have to tell me what you think, you have to! I can’t just drop a bombshell like that and you tell me to dig into my burger, goddammit!”

She doesn’t respond, but I can see her lips twitching. Good lord, is she about to cry? Please, I can’t add making my mom cry to the list of horrible things I’ve done, please lord.

All of a sudden, mother dearest starts laughing her ass off.

I stare at her along with the rest of the restaurant as she nearly loses it, almost toppling out of her chair.

“Are you done?” I ask her once she’s calmed down a bit, and truth be told, I’m fighting a smile of my own, too.

“Oh, Tessa,” she says, still giggling like she’s thirty years younger than her age. “Don’t you know I’m your mother?”

I stare at her in confusion. “I had a vague idea, yeah.”

“I’ve known you liked Adam since the moment he walked into our kitchen, honey,” she says with a knowing smile. “I’ve watched you pine for him, when he was gone, and when he was around. I know he liked you too, and I was just waiting for you to come and speak to me about it…but that moment never came.”

My heart thumps loudly as I look at my burger, my appetite disappearing. I really should have talked to my mom sooner…I can only hope it’s not too late.

Her hand grabs mine from across the table and I look into her warm blue eyes, the very color I’ve inherited myself. I smile weakly and she returns a strong, confident smile.

“You love whom you love honey, not much you can do about that,” she says softly. “Does Adam know you feel this way?”

I shake my head weakly.

“Well, then you better go on and tell him,” she encourages me, and my face slowly lights up with a smile. “We’re going to need a plan…”

We dig into our burgers, discussing how I’m going to get him back, and that night, I’m the happiest I’ve been ever since I left Adam in Chicago.