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Authors: Sosie Frost

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“Nathan.” Dad’s
voice rang with condescension. “Would you like to come in?”

Any other father
would have extended the invitation as a means to console an obviously troubled
son. Not my father. His sneer was vindicating, as though he expected this moment.
He’d always warned me of my errant ways and
womanizing
.

Except Pastor
Kensington wasn’t afraid for my mortal soul. He wanted to make sure our good
name wasn’t marred by my indiscretions.

So he’d probably
love
this.

I accepted the
invitation inside, but I lurked in the entryway like a stranger. I followed him
to his study. Nothing had changed there. No dust. Not a spec of anything out of
place. The only clutter he permitted was his Bible, and even that was for show.

He sat behind
his desk with a brand new laptop, probably purchased through the church. The
silence crackled.

“Where’s Mom?” I
asked.

“Asleep, as most
decent people are at this hour.” Dad didn’t blink. “Why is my son out so late?”

“I got news.”

“News? You don’t
call your mother. You don’t attend church. You don’t respect me. What makes you
think I’m interested in your
news
?”

“You’ll find out
sooner rather than later. Probably best if it’s sooner.”

“Then perhaps
you should start with an apology to your honored father?” Dad always was a
stickler for humility. “
Father, I have sinned against heaven
and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son
.”

I gritted my
teeth. “Luke 15:21.”

“Very good.”

“I’m not the
prodigal son returning.”

“Of course you
aren’t. So why are you here?”

I sucked in a
breath. “Mandy Prescott is pregnant.”

Dad didn’t
blink. “Yours?”

“Yes.”

If he was
surprised, he hid it well. I didn’t look away, meeting his green eyes. Mom
always said we looked alike, but the similarities ended there.

“Marry the
girl.”

I knew it was
coming. “I tried. She refused.”

“Try again. This
is important. Both of our families are respected in this community. I’d hate to
think what a scandal like this would cause.”

“It’s not a
scandal. It’s 2016. People get knocked—” I hated to say it. “These things
happen.”

“Not to
Kensingtons.”

“Even to us,
Dad. We’re not untouchable.”

“No thanks to
you
.
I’ve dealt with your misbehavior and foolishness long enough, Nathan. You’ve
brought nothing but shame upon this family, and now you’ve caused more. Have
you any idea what people will say about this? My own son, getting a woman into
trouble? A
Prescott
?”

I stiffened.
“What’s her family got to do with it? They’re members of your church.”

“It’s not her
family
,
son. Use your head. She’s a…and your…”

I knew my
father, and I expected that, but it still pissed me off. “That’s my
child
you’re talking about.”

“Don’t pretend
to be attached to something you didn’t know existed an hour ago.”

“Who cares how
long I’ve known?” I stood. “Since when does it matter what
color
my baby
is?”

“Do you care
nothing for the reputation of this family?”

I might have
breathed fire. Every breath strained my lungs. “I care about Mandy. I care
about my baby. And if you were a
real
father, you’d
understand.”

“Sit down before
you wake the neighborhood…or perhaps we should. Does her mother know?”

“No.”

“Well, I should
be delighted that I’m the first to hear of this wonderful blessing.” He
frowned. “You have ruined yourself and that girl. You must make it right,
Nathan. Marry her.”

“I
tried
,”
I said. “She doesn’t want to marry me.”

Dad snorted.
“And why would she? Not like your reputation has been anything but
disgraceful
.
I’ve known Amanda Prescott for some time, Nathan, and she is not a girl who
would throw her future away on someone undeserving. And you have proven that
you are a man who only seeks sinful pleasure. You’ve refused to take
responsibility for anything in your life.”

I gritted my
teeth. “What are you talking about? I left home at eighteen and started a
business
.
No college. No help from you. I’m goddamned responsible. And successful. I pay
my bills, my employees, and I could open a new location if I wanted.”

“There’s more to
becoming a man than generating
wealth
,” Dad said. “You’ve created a life,
but you’ve shown absolutely no maturity or responsibility towards the woman who
carries it. You’re right. In this day and age, it is not uncommon for people to
find themselves in these troubles, just as it is not necessary for a woman to
wed because of pregnancy.”

“You said I had
to marry her.”

“She as a right
to refuse you, as well she should. You’ve never given her proof that you’d make
a good father or husband.” Dad looked away. “It is a quality women want, and
it’s the true mark of a man. Don’t make the same mistakes I did.”

Dad said nothing
else on the subject, and I doubted he ever would.

“Mandy’s afraid
of marriage and relationships now,” I said. “Everyone’s divorcing or unhappy,
and she has no faith in it anymore.”

“Perhaps it’s
time for you to become a man and show her how a true marriage could last. Do
you care for her?”

No reason to
lie. “Yes.”

“Then why are
you here in the middle of the night talking to
me
?”

I looked up. Dad
folded his hands, not to pray, but to act. Kensington men never shied from a
fight.

“You have a
chance to fix this, Nathan. Not only for yourself, but so you don’t ruin the
good name of both our families.”

“Believe me. I’m
not doing it for this family.”

“Then whose are
you helping?” Dad asked.

“My own.”

Chapter Twenty – Mandy

 

Taking the
flowers from Great Aunt Mildred’s funeral wasn’t
stealing
.

Was it?

Technically, I
planned to borrow them. The family knew she loved white flowers, and the
funeral parlor crammed was full of lilies and orchids and roses and everything
else that, quite frankly, was a little depressing.

Great Aunt
Mildred didn’t
need
the flowers anymore, and our florist didn’t have
enough time to deliver anything but red carnations. Lindsey hated red
carnations.

So, for what I
hoped would be the first, last, and only time in my life, I went grave-robbing. 
I
borrowed
the flowers from a dead woman and snuck out of the back of
the funeral parlor with baskets, bouquets, and wreaths.

I might have
felt bad, but it wasn’t possible to think of myself as anything lower than the
scum of the earth.

Because I was pretty
sure that’s what Nate thought of me too.

He hadn’t
called. I tried once, but I couldn’t will the words out for a voice mail.
Texting was just as horrible. I had no idea what to say, what to write.

How to fix it.

I loaded the
flowers in the car and hurried to the church for the final wedding preparations
and rehearsal…cheese and crackers? It wasn’t even a dinner at this point. My
great aunt’s insulted spirit wouldn’t have to haunt us to wreck the wedding. It
was already a disaster.

And I wasn’t
sure how much energy I had left to pull us together.

I hopped out of
the car and promptly broke the heel on my black shoes.

Yep. That was
karma. They were my only pair for the night, and I hadn’t brought a change of
clothes. The mourning black dress seemed less sincere as I limped into the
party with an armload of stolen—
borrowed
—funeral flowers.

I set the bundle
on the card tables haphazardly sprawled across the church’s back lawn. The
bridal party hustled to set up chairs, finalize the seating chart, write out
name tags, string the lights and load the premade food into the fellowship
hall.

Mom and Dad
screamed at each other, though I had no idea what the family vacation from 1999
had to do with stringing crepe paper between rows of off center chairs. The Washingtons
and Rick struggled with a busted ladder and a strand of flickering Christmas
lights.

Lindsey surveyed
the yard in yoga pants and white pumps, trying to break in her shoes and
memorize pitted places in the grass. Bryce followed behind, discretely
searching the ground too, but for something smaller than potential divots…

I pretended not
to see the empty ring box in his hand.

All normal
chaos.

I searched, but
one person was still missing.

Nate wasn’t
here.

The thought
crushed me, but I didn’t let it show. My family was already in shambles, and I
ran out of material to patch them together. At this point, I tugged only on
strings, and most of them were mine as I unraveled.

We only had to
survive one more day, then Nate and I could really discuss things without the
shock fueling our arguments.

If it wasn’t too
late.

“Well, I hope
you’re happy, Conrad,” Mom stood, hands on her hips as Dad strung more crepe
paper. “You got your wish. A small wedding in a
fellowship
hall. Or
outside
of it. Why aren’t you celebrating?"

“My hands are a
little full right now, Sandra. We’ll leap for joy later, when the kids have an
extra ten grand they can use for a down payment on the house.”

“They have their
entire lives to pay off a mortgage. This day is
special
.”

“They’re getting
a special day,” Dad said.

“How? In the
middle of a backyard? With traffic and noise and no string quartet?”

“What do you
want from me? It’s not like I can do CPR on Mildred!” He laughed as Mom
sputtered. “Go ahead. Tell me
her
dying is my fault.”

“Your attitude
isn’t helping!” Mom shouted. “This is their only wedding day!”

“We hope.”

“What’s that
supposed to mean?” She pointed a finger at him. “Don’t you throw that in my
face today of all days.”

Dad snorted.
“I’m getting real tired of playing hot and cold with you, Sandra. I’ve accepted
my fault in our marriage. When will you?”

“I accepted
fault for
thirty
years!”

“Like hell.”

I found a chair at
the far corner of the yard where I could ignore the screaming. I checked my
to-do list.

 

Cookies

Flowers

Find Nate

Try on dress

Apologize to
Nate

Salon-Hair and
nails in the AM

Declare feelings
to Nate

Beg Nate to talk
to me

Just be with
Nate

 

Not much of it
was doable.

I was supposed
to check things off, not add more problems to solve. But nothing I said or did
would forgive me for keeping the secret about the pregnancy.

Now it wasn’t
about me. I had to think about the baby. I spent too long running scared, and
it wasn’t fair to the little guy or girl who deserved as much love and attention
and care as I could give. Part of that would include taking better care of
myself.

After Nate had
left, I tossed and turned and threw up all night. I was already a
pregnancy-zombie, shuffling around in a state of tempered terror and
exhaustion. I might have fallen asleep in the chair right there if Lindsey
hadn’t screamed for the flowers.

That was my cue.

I rose, a little
weepy and a lot nauseous. It was the classic pregnancy duo, back to strike me
down. I emptied my car and dropped most of the baskets and wreaths near where we
planned to set up the altar.

Lindsey stared
at me like I’d dragged Mildred herself to the party.

She gasped. “Did
you…
take
the flowers?”

“I
borrowed
the flowers. It’s not stealing. It’s
resourceful.

“But—”

I pointed at her,
my voice a little too shrill. “Look. We’re pressed for time and it’s not
looking any better. We have to adapt.”

“They’re
funeral
flowers.”

“So? We’re on
our own right now, Lindsey. Do you understand? This is it. It’s our only shot.
No one else is coming to help us. We can’t waste time and hope for the best. We
have to do whatever we can to stay afloat. You’re either in or out, but I’m not
going to stop when the only opportunity I have left is about to slip through my
fingers. You got it?”

Lindsey’s mouth
dropped open. She timidly nodded. “Yeah…yeah, whatever you want, Mandy. That’s
fine.”

I headed back to
the car for the last load of requisitioned flowers, but Rick stopped me before
I snuck through the fellowship hall. He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the
dark and quiet beyond the set-up.

“Okay, Mandy,”
he said. “What the hell was that?”

Rick didn’t take
a shrug and frown for an answer. He stood in my way, arms crossed and doing his
best impersonation of the big brother I never had.

“I’m fine,” I
said.

“You’re not
fine. You’re upset.” He lowered his voice. “Nate’s not here.”

“I hadn’t
noticed.”

“Liar. Where is
he?”

I wished I knew.
“I don’t know. We had
the talk
yesterday. I haven’t seen him since.”

“You told him?” Rick
swore. “And he
ran off
?”

It wasn’t like
that. I covered my eyes.

“No. Look, he
offered to marry me—”

“—
Nate
?”

“I said no.”

Rick took a
little walk, huffing as he paced. “
Why
?”

Why didn’t
anyone understand? “I won’t get married just because I accidentally conceived
child.”

“That’s the way
it’s done.”

“It’s not the
right
way for me!” I bit my lip. “I know I’d be happy with Nate. I can’t stop
thinking about him. I’m completely overwhelmed by him. But I can’t marry him
for the wrong reasons.”

“If you fell for
him, then how can it be the wrong reason?”

“Because we’ve
only been together for
three
months, and I’ve only been honest with him
for like, eighteen hours.”

“You care about
him.”

“I do, and
that’s why I want to do this right. I want to know what we have is real. I’m
not afraid of being alone in this. I’m afraid of losing Nate forever.”

Rick pulled me close.
“Mandy, you will
never
be alone. You have your family. You have me. I
promise you.”

I’d missed his
hugs. He always knew what to say. I rested my head on his shoulder.

“It means a lot
to me,” I said.

“It’s the truth.
I want you to know if Nate doesn’t come through for you…I will.”

“You’re very
sweet.”

He stroked my
back. “This isn’t about being sweet. I know you don’t think it’s the right
thing, but Nate offered to marry you so he could provide you with stability. It
wasn’t just about how he felt, it was him taking responsibility.”

I hugged him
closer. “Taking responsibility is a slippery slope into feeling resentment.”

“No.” Rick shook
his head. “Not always. We’re men. We like to protect our woman and our
families. What better way than to live with you, stay with you, take care of
you?”

I sniffled. “I
guess. But if I want more than that…?”

“Then you work
at it.”

“I don’t even
know if he’d ask again. Or what I’d say.”

Rick hesitated.
“Mandy, I just want you to know you have more than one option here.”

“I do?”

“Yeah. You have
me.”

I pulled away. Rick
wasn’t smiling. He looked…serious.

“What are you
talking about?” I asked.

“You can marry
me.”

I froze.

He wasn’t…he
didn’t actually mean…?

His divorce was
hardly finalized and he offered to marry
me
?

“We’re not in
love,” I said.

He nodded. “I
know. But we’re friends. You and I have something special, and it’s something
rare. I’d provide for you, keep you safe, give the baby a good home.”

“Rick—”

“Don’t answer
now, because it’s probably confusing for you. But know that you will
never
be alone. Marriage is about more than fairy tales and cupids. It’s an agreement
between two people with mutual interests who care about one an other. I hope
you understand that.”

I didn’t. 

I couldn’t.

I had no idea
what to say or if I could even produce the words to puff out any sort of unflattering
squeak. I swallowed.

A loveless
marriage…but one that was built on friendship. If I hadn’t felt that thrill in
Nate’s arms, I’d have thought Rick’s offer was the only logical way to approach
a relationship.

But I’d felt the
truth when Nate moved in me. Our passion wasn’t lust or selfish desire but a
shared trust. In those few moments together, I found an eternity of happiness.
Nate was everything I wanted, and what sparked between us was the beginning of
perfect bond between two imperfect people.

“Thank you,
Rick.” I pulled him into a hug. “You have no idea how much you mean to me.”

“I didn’t even get
to use my line on you yet.”

“What’s that?”

He winked. “I’m
a cardiologist. I’d never break your heart.”

I groaned. “A
woman would be crazy to resist you.”

“Are you crazy?”

I bit my lip.
“Rick…I…”

A shadow dropped
over us, the light blocked from the doorway to the fellowship hall.

Oh no.

I knew exactly
who it was. And I knew why he had stormed off.

Rick swore, but
I left him outside, racing through the church.

What had he
seen? What did he think he overheard? I rushed into the parking lot, staring
through the darkness to stop him before he left. I hadn’t run fast enough.

“Nate, wait!”

His car peeled
out of the gravel lot. He was gone. I sunk onto the stairs.

How was I going
to get him back now?

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